A/N: I own nothing from Grey's and my name isn't Shonda. Enjoy and review please!
The simplest of words can have so many meanings. At least, that's what Lexie Grey had learned over the past few years. Loving one man with all of her heart had caused her so much joy and yet, so much heartache at the same time. She had learned many times that she could only trust and put her heart out there so many times before she recoiled it completely. Mark Sloan had taken her heart, held it in the palms of his hands, and then crushed it. Crushed it the first time when his daughter, Sloane, came out of the blue and he suddenly started making decisions about their lives without even asking her about them. And crushed it the second time when he had a baby with Callie instead of her, like she had dreamed about in the future. Even if she hadn't been ready to become a mother yet, she wanted to be the one to make Mark a father for real for that first time.
Yet, through all of the heartache he had caused her, she still loved him. For whatever reason unknown to her, other than God punishing her, she still loved him with all of her heart. It was the reason her relationship ended with Jackson and the reason she couldn't ever hate him, despite the situations he had put her through. But it was also the reason that she couldn't go back to him. Volumes one and two of their relationship had never gone well, so she knew that trying again probably would end in disaster as well as the first two had. But even though she knew it would end bad, she wanted to try again...but he was still with Julia...the perfect girlfriend he had found to start dating. Someone even Lexie couldn't hate.
Standing in the clinic going over some charts, she thought about Valentine's Day and how they had spent it together, babysitting Zola and Sofia...while Jackson was there studying for his boards. She had originally gone over there to tell Mark that she still loved him...that she didn't want him to find out in some plastic locket after she'd died. But when she showed up with Zola, intending to knock it off as a play date for Sofia, Jackson had been there. That was the most awkward night of her life, on top of the fact that she had spent Valentine's Day babysitting so her sister and brother-in-law could have sex. Only one of the many pathetic things that Lexie Grey had done in the past year, including pining over a man that obviously didn't give a damn about her as he'd moved on with his own little family. But as she thought about it, she knew that part of her wished that the family included her, as twisted as it sounded.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice that made her sigh. Mark's.
"Got anything good for me?" he asked, coming up behind her and standing at the counter.
"No Dr. Sloan...nothing for Plastics. It's all Cardio or General down here," she replied. "I'll page you if anything good comes in." That had been the extent of their conversation for weeks now. And she hated it.
After he left, she was relieved to have a few moments to herself, but that was short lived as Arizona Robbins came to get charts for her service from the clinic. As Lexie sorted out the kids to be treated, she saw Arizona looking at her.
"Mark is still in love with you," she finally said after a few awkward moments.
"Ex-excuse me...what?" Lexie sputtered, trying to grasp what had just been said to her.
"Mark. He's still in love with you." Arizona seemed pretty firm in her statement the second time as she looked over the charts Lexie had handed her.
"How...how do you know?" Lexie was baffled by this. He hadn't said two words to her hardly in the last few weeks since Valentine's Day, other than asking for cases from the pit or the clinic.
"Julia broke it off with him just after Valentine's Day. He couldn't say I love you to her, not even after she said it first, so Julia ended it. I knew he wasn't going to say it...especially after the way he looks at you," she said, flipping the pages of the chart in her hands. "Mark only has eyes for one woman in this hospital. And it sure as hell isn't Julia."
Lexie was stunned. "Why...wha...I mean, why hasn't he said anything to me?"
"Oh I dunno...you kind of shot him down the last three or four times he tried," Arizona said, looking up at her. "And I think you told him that you didn't want to be with him."
"That's not true," Lexie started to defend herself before stopping. She had told Mark to let her go and he had, just as she wished. "Okay it is...but I was going to tell him...and then I didn't on Valentine's Day."
"Lexie, I like you...you're a good person deep down and when you're on my service, the tiny humans always take well to you. And Mark truly does love you. He loves you in the way that I love Calliope. And would do anything for you to make you see that. You just have to be willing to give him that chance and to let him prove himself worthy of you. He's done a lot of growing in the last year, especially after Sofia was born."
Lexie nodded, knowing that was true. In the last year, she'd done a lot of growing as well. She was now close to her twenty-eighth birthday, meaning she had been thinking about the things she wanted in life. And that included getting married and having a family. She hadn't been ready for those things when Mark wanted them, but now she was. After Meredith and Derek adopted Zola, she started thinking about having her own family and really started to see that she could do that. She could be a mom...especially if Mark was the dad.
"Should I tell him?" she asked, looking to Dr. Robbins for some advice.
Arizona nodded. "Don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. Fear is what keeps us from often times doing the things that would make us most happy in life. I was afraid of having children because I didn't know what kind of mom I'd be, then Sofia was born and I found that I adore her more than life itself."
"I should...I need to go find Mark," Lexie said, flipping the charts shut and taking off after Mark in the direction she'd last seen him go, stopping to turn around toward Dr. Robbins. "Thank you!" she hollered before turning around and going down the hall as fast as she could manage.