This story idea came about as a joke I made to a friend about the Chocobo upgrade sequences in the game bearing resemblance to certain other phenomena we humans are familiar with. A throw-away joke about Gyshal Greens was made, and so here we are.
"Face it Zidane, we're lost," Garnet sighed, shaking her head. Zidane made a face and jumped down from the rock outcropping he was using as a lookout.
"We're not lost, I know exactly where we are," he said, smirking. "We're exactly in the middle of nowhere, which means all we need to do is pick a direction and we'll get somewhere else. What could be easier?" Garnet crossed her arms, and Zidane rubbed the back of his head. "That sounded better in my mind," he thought. Some distance away, Quina was busy looking off into space aimlessly while Vivi was practicing with his new staff, trying to perfect his Fira spells. They had come to the Outer Continent with little idea of where to go, but Zidane had insisted he knew where to go. He hadn't.
"Well, do we make camp?" Garnet asked. "It's getting late."
"Nah, there's gotta be a city or village around here somewhere, we can keep going," Zidane replied. He heard sniffing and turned to see Quina walking around behind him, turning his/her head around and sniffing the air. "Something up Quina?"
"I smell frogs," Quina replied, his/her tongue wagging. "And water. And Chocobo. Marsh and Chocobo nearby." S/he pointed her fork off in the distance.
"There we go!" Zidane said, reaching into his pocket. "I've got some Gyshal Greens, I'll catch a Chocobo, take a look around and find someplace to go."
"So we wait here?" Garnet asked.
"Well, the Chocobos aren't big enough for all of us," Zidane said, pulling a clump of light yellow grass from his pocket. "But if you saddle up really close, you might be able to sit behind me," he finished, giving a devilish smile.
"I'll wait with them," Garnet replied, a knowing look in her eye. Zidane shrugged. He preferred it when she had been too naïve to recognize his pick-ups.
"Them Gyshal Greens?" Quina asked, sniffing the plants in Zidane's hand. "They yummy-yum?"
"Chocobos love to eat them, but we can't," Garnet said. "Dr. Tot said humans react strangely to them…though he didn't say anything about Qu…"
"I try?" Quina asked eagerly.
"When we can get more, we don't have much," Zidane said, walking in the direction Quina had pointed. "Heeeere chocobo," he said lowly, whistling. "Come and get them!" Zidane waved the greens over his head, hoping any wandering Chocobos would see.
"Ah, look out!" Garnet and Quina turned their heads to see Vivi knocked back as a large fireball erupted from his staff and shot towards Zidane. Zidane turned, arm still in the air, and cried out as the fireball hit the Gyshal Greens. The grass caught fire and Zidane dropped them to the ground, blowing on his warm hand.
"Sorry Zidane!" Vivi called, running up to him. The burning greens sent a cloud of billowing white smoke into the air. "You okay?"
"Sure," Zidane coughed in the smoke. "I'm fine, I think." He looked up at Vivi and his eyes widened. His vision began to blur, and he stumbled back.
"Z-Zidane-ne?" Garnet's voice warbled in his ears, and he turned to her to see multiple images of her shaking back and forth. "What's wro-wrong?"
"Sm-smell bad-bad," Quina's voice said somewhere out of his view. Zidane stumbled forward, his eyes watery. He fell to his knees, his head buzzing.
Zidane turned his head to the side and grinned as a bright gold Chocobo ran towards him, sparkles of light flying from its feet as it kicked up dirt and sand.
"There we go," Zidane said in a sing-song voice. He stood up and waved the bird closer. "Here boy!" The Chocobo ran past Zidane and he jumped on, Garnet, Vivi and Quina suddenly gone. The Chocobo kept running, more sparkles of light coming from its feet. Zidane blinked as the landscape zoomed past them, trees and mountains flashing by, before they came to the ocean. The Chocobo leapt up into the air and a rainbow extended from the ground into the sky.
"Hi ho Chocobo!" Zidane cheered as the bird landed on the rainbow and galloped into the sky. A musical series of cries filled the air from his steed. The Chocobo ran up through the clouds, the sky parting until the two were running past a field of stars. Zidane looked around in awe as more Chocobos of all different colors and sizes began to run alongside them on their own rainbows. His Chocobo pulled forward and leapt over the blue moon of Gaia. Behind it as they cleared it another planetoid loomed, a large throne on it surrounded by gold and silver fountains.
"Great wanderer!" a voice boomed as they came closer. Zidane let out a sound of awe as a giant Chocobo appeared on the throne, fanning himself with a giant palm leaf. "You have journeyed far to get here, Chocobo's Paradise!" the giant Chocobo called. The Chocobo Zidane was riding landed on a platform in front of the throne, and kneeled. "We welcome you to live here with us in our nirvana for all time!"
"Nice digs," Zidane nodded slowly, climbing down. "I'll take it."
"Alas human, only Chocobos can live here," the giant Chocobo said.
"That bites," Zidane groaned. "So uh, where's Zidane's Paradise then?"
"Why, over there!" The giant Chocobo pointed with its wing, and Zidane turned. Not far away another planetoid floated in the stars. A luxurious bedroom full of gold coins loom atop it, and in the middle of the room was a large white bed.
"Zidane!" Zidane blinked as Garnet appeared on the bed in the white cloak she had worn when they met, reclining back and beckoning him towards her.
"Coming dear!" he called, running forward. He reached the end of the platform and leapt, sailing through the air. He smiled happily and turned as he fell, landing on the softest bed he had ever known. Garnet leaned over him, beaming happily. "Oh Garnet," he whispered, closing his eyes and sinking further into the bed.
"Zidane," she whispered, leaning over him. Zidane put his arm around her and puckered his lips.
Suddenly the soft musical tones in Zidane's ears faded, and the feeling of Garnet in his arms vanished. He opened his eyes to find himself laying on his back in the dirt, Garnet, Vivi and Quina looking down at him.
"Oh phew, he's okay," Garnet said, letting out a breath. An empty Remedy vial was in her hand.
"Sorry Zidane, still not used to the spell power," Vivi apologized, shifting on his feet. Zidane sat up and looked around, confused.
"What happened?" he mumbled. He had a horrible headache all of a sudden.
"You inhaled some of the smoke from the Gyshal Greens, and then you started stumbling around," Garnet explained. "Then you suddenly fell unconscious and started mumbling things we couldn't make out."
"Chocobo Paradise!" Quina said, nodding enthusiastically.
"Yeah, and um….then you called out my name and began making kissy faces," Garnet said, sounding amused. Zidane looked over at the small pile of ash from where he had dropped the greens, and lifted his eyebrows.
"…huh. So that's why Chocobos love those things."