A/N: Waaa I can't believe this is end! Here's the epilogue, which I hope you love. Thanks for reading, and I hope that you had enjoyed the story. Please let me know what you think! And again, thank you so much:)
Epilogue. A new chance
A thoughtful Ciel contemplated the streets of London through the large window. It was a really cold day since a snowstorm had fallen at daybreak, leaving a trace of low temperatures and a thick white layer on the ground with it.
Ciel had gone out of his house to get some fresh air. No matter how cold it was, he liked days like that one, so he hadn't missed the chance of taking a walk around the city during the morning. When he got tired he stopped in a little, slightly crowded restaurant. He ordered tea and a piece of cake, and he sat next to the window not to lose any detail of the urban view and let his mind wander.
He sighed. He could never stop thinking about him.
Demons, contracts, vengeance, love, death, secrets... Those were the things that came to his mind all the time. Even when he slept: things that other people would call "dreams" or "excess of imagination"; Ciel would call them memories. Nonetheless, that was something people wouldn't believe –not to mention understand–, so he kept it to himself for as long as he could remember. His soul was already practiced on reincarnation, so he no longer had trouble remembering past experiences.
However, there was something that no matter how hard he tried, he could never decipher.
It was the person that was always by his side. There was not even a single thought where he wasn't present, and he caused his heart to beat erratically. He always recalled every moment they had spent together, the sound of his voice, his way of staring and smiling, his looks, his personality. And even so, no matter how much effort he put into it, he could never remember his name.
That was a big lapse in his mind that made him frustrated and gave him a headache whenever he tried to solve it. How could he forget something so important?
"Good morning, young man. Would you mind if I sit with you?"
The voice took him by surprise and made him jump, interrupting his thoughts. The plates rattled a little on the table due to his abrupt reaction. Ciel turned his head immediately to exchange glances with the 'stranger'. And when he met his eyes, it was like an unexpected blow.
"Sebastian" he murmured, remembering his name all of a sudden. "What are you doing here?"
The young adult took a seat in front of Ciel. He was smiling openly and radiantly at him, as if he was happy of meeting him. He was wearing a black and voluptuous coat that covered him completely; gloves and a scarf to protect himself from the excessive cold. His cheeks and nose were slightly red, and his hair and clothes looked wet to the touch, indicating that he had spent a good while walking out in the open.
"I've been looking for you all this time" he said.
"Well you found me" Ciel responded in disenchantment. Not because he didn't want to see Sebastian again, but quite the opposite. It was because he loved him so much the reencounter hurt, because he knew it would make the goodbye harder. And staying together wasn't an option, because Ciel knew where it'd take them.
Sebastian's smirk vanished at Ciel's acrimony. Of course he'd been prepared to meet with his pride and his obstinacy, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Still, he wasn't giving up.
He took off his gloves, perhaps just to be more comfortable or more like to show Ciel that there was nothing to fear this time. His hands were white and free of any mark, and his nails were its natural color, revealing his human nature. The younger male was about to make a comment or maybe a question about it, but the waitress interrupted them to take Sebastian's order, who only asked for coffee.
When the waitress went away after finishing her duty, Ciel let out a displeased snort, staring at the window again to avoid talking to Sebastian. They fell into an awkward silence that neither of them tried to solve: Ciel because he had no intention of it and Sebastian because he didn't want to pressure him and he was thinking of the best way to lower Ciel's guard. Every once in a while, the younger male gave some bites to his cake and sips to his tea. The other young man prepared his coffee to his taste and drank it slowly to get some heat.
On one occasion both stretched out their hands at the same time to reach for the napkins and they touched accidentally. Ciel let out a soft gasp of surprise and their eyes met. Immediately, Sebastian transformed his expression of disconcert into a sweet and kind smile that caused a thick blush in Ciel's cheeks.
The younger male shifted his eyes to the view again, letting his hand fall on the table and trying to ignore what had happened. Yet he didn't count on Sebastian taking advantage of that movement to place his hand on Ciel's, taking it tenderly in his.
Ciel's blush deepened, but he had enough courage to scowl at him. However, Sebastian wasn't intimidated and he didn't let his hand go.
Ciel thought that in that case he should be the one to move his hand away, but he simply couldn't. He wished for a minute that Sebastian's hand wasn't so warm, but it was. So he looked away once more letting out a defeated sigh as he mentally scolded himself for his weakness, but not even that worked to make him move his hand away.
"Hey. Where are you going so fast?" the black-haired male asked trying to keep Ciel's pace when they left the restaurant. Ciel didn't stop.
"Home. Where else?" he snapped. "It was nice to see you and everything, but if you think it means we're together again then you're completely wrong."
Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows as he gave a few strides to overtake Ciel and interfere in his way. Ciel casted him a disdainful look, gritting his teeth. He surely could cross the street and continue walking on the other sidewalk, but his stubbornness impeded him too.
"Get out of my way, Sebastian."
Ciel clenched his fists, getting even more irritated. Noticing that Sebastian had no intention of leaving him alone, he finally exploded. He approached him and started to punch his chest like a little boy making a tantrum.
"Why do you always have to make everything so hard?!" Ciel exclaimed in a panting, breathy voice due to the physical effort he was doing. Sebastian didn't even try to stop him, knowing it was the best for him to vent out all his restrained anger for once and ignoring the few people who wandered about there and casted them some not-so-discrete glances.
Little by little, the beating lost intensity and speed. Ciel emitted a groan when he stopped, no strength left.
He wanted to cry with anger, but he held himself back. Sebastian embraced him protectively to comfort him when he knew he was finished.
"Why are you here, anyway?" Ciel inquired in a hurt tone, tightening Sebastian's shirt with his fists but never opposing to his embrace, which made Sebastian smile.
"How many times will you make me tell you? I came back because it is part of my promise, and I'm not leaving you again."
Ciel closed his eyes firmly. It sounded so nice, so certain when he said it that way... And it wasn't that he doubted of him, because he knew he was telling the truth; but he doubted of the destiny that always seemed to go against them.
"Wasn't I clear enough when I told you to forget everything because I was done with this game?"
Sebastian let out a little chuckle, provoking a new wave of anger from Ciel. He moved away the adult's arms and gave a few steps backwards with shaken features: "Are you making fun of me?!"
Sebastian came close to Ciel and hugged him once more despite Ciel's squirming not to let him, never dropping the smile on his face.
"Let me go!"
And still, after a while of struggling in vain he gave up and fell still between his arms. Then Sebastian said:
"I'm not making fun of you, but of your attitude. It's so obvious what you feel, but you insist on denying it. You've always told me that I'm egoist and that I'm a liar, when you're the same or perhaps worse than me. You've been playing with me for a good while disappearing like that, just because you knew I'd come back to look for you. Am I mistaken, Ciel? If you really want me to go, just say it."
Ciel was baffled and his arms fell limp at his sides. He didn't know what he should or what he wanted to say to that last petition, so he opted by justifying his actions.
"And what did you want me to do? I needed to test you. I needed to know if you were still being the same Sebastian I met. I needed to know if you'd follow me no matter what. I needed to know if I could trust you again."
"And what if I had died in the way?" Sebastian confronted him without a single trace of rancor, only expressing a possibility. Ciel shrugged between his arms, knowing that it had been a cruel and uncertain test, and trying to fake that he didn't feel remorse for his actions. Despite that, he couldn't help the feeling of happiness that was beginning to rise inside of him, because Sebastian had met his expectations. But he couldn't let himself go, because that love would only ruin them...
He wished that it was easier to get away from his embrace, but it was just that he felt so safe between his arms, feeling his warmth and listening to his heartbeat, his breathing, feeling the subtle rise and fall of his chest, but no, no, no! That wasn't good at all!
Sebastian ran a hand through Ciel's mane, making him sigh from weariness. So much internal fight was leaving him exhausted.
"And how do you know that the same won't happen again?" he whispered in anguish, tangling his hands once more in his shirt. Sebastian let him go then and gave some steps backwards; falling on one knee thus he'd be shorter than Ciel and able to read his expressions more easily. He didn't care about the snow.
"Because I don't lie," he swore; "and because I've learned that a story never happens the same way twice. So, if you let me take this chance, I promise you that I'll never disappoint you again."
Ciel had to stop to think about it. Sebastian was right: the story wasn't going to be the same again because now there were no secrets, or problems, or anything to hide. And if that didn't actually mean that in the future new storms wouldn't come up, he was sure that nothing could compare with everything they had already faced.
Besides, it was no coincidence that they had received a new opportunity, right? It was no coincidence that Sebastian had passed his test. It was no coincidence that Sebastian had given him everything: his companionship, his strength, his wishes, his loyalty. Maybe he'd made a few mistakes, but every single one of them had had the intention of protecting him. And perhaps that didn't mean they were already saved, because the most probable thing was that when they died they'd still be damned, but... Did it matter? As long as they were together, whether in heaven or hell, there was nothing to fear.
So maybe Ciel didn't need to hide. He didn't need to forget Sebastian or try to get away from him, but instead had to give up to what he felt, because it was the right thing.
Following that trail of thought, he approached him and took his face between his hands to contemplate it clearly. Sebastian stared back at him; still, calmed, serious. Ciel moved a tress of hair away from his face, not caring if there were people there or not, if they were watching or not, if it was cold or not.
"You have never disappointed me" he whispered.
And then, he bent down to kiss him while snow began to fall around them.