Title: Too Much to Take
Author: Jourdana Standish
Warnings: Spoilers for 3x15 "All My Children"
Author's Notes: I want to start by saying that I am not a fan of Bonnie. I haven't been since day one. However, I felt horrible for her last night. This is my take on a conversation (and how I sorta feel right now regarding some things) between Caroline and Bonnie after the end of the show. I also admit, I am seriously behind on the episodes, so I am only going off of what I have seen this season.
Caroline let out a breath as she slowly closed the door as Elena left. She rested her head against it a moment before turning to head into the kitchen to see if she could find something for Bonnie. And prepare the blood bag she brought for Abby.
"Oh..." Caroline hadn't been expecting Bonnie to be there. "I was just going to get you someth-."
"Thank you," Bonnie interrupted. Caroling gave a small frown of confusion. "For dealing with Elena."
"Oh," Carolina said then waved her hand. "Sure. I mean, I know you want to eventually see her and everything, but it's-."
"No," Bonnie said. "I... I really don't." Caroline's eyebrow arched. "You were half right when you were talking to her."
"I... was half right?" Caroline asked.
"Yeah," Bonnie said. "But I do blame her. This is her fault."
"Bo-," Caroline started to say.
Bonnie shook her head. She rubbed her hands over her face before letting out an angry breath. "All of this, Caroline. Everything that has happened in Mystic Falls is because of Elena," she said. "For so long, I blamed the Salvatores. They aren't innocent by far, but the more I see, the more that happens..."
"You... aren't mad at Damon?" Caroline asked. She knew there was something in her tone that sounded skeptical.
"I'm mad... but not at the same time," Bonnie said.
"I don't understand," Caroline said, sitting on a chair.
"Damon only did what he had to in order to keep Elena safe, because of her idiocy and insistence that she didn't need protecting," Bonnie said. "Or that she could just make all the decisions, because it's her life. Well it's not. Not anymore. I get why Elena hates them making decisions for her, but she has been doing exactly the same thing. Having Damon compel Jeremy to get him to leave Mystic Falls. Having Stefan kill Damon long enough to allow Elena to make that ridiculous arrangement with Esther. It caused my mother and I to get further involved to help and now my mother is a vampire."
"Elijah and Klaus..."
"They want to live, Caroline," Bonnie said. "Their mother made them vampires, with their father. Are they evil? Probably, at least a good portion of them, but then kill one. But Elena's actions, with Esther, bound them all together. And they were forced to take action the only way they knew how. Which meant backing the brothers into a corner and threatening the one thing that they won't sacrifice. And really... I don't think any of us would. And that makes me angry."
"You... want Elena to die?" Caroline asked, confused.
"No, of course not," Bonnie said. "But it's always about Elena. You were killed and turned, and why? To send a message to Elena and the Salvatores. Jeremy was compelled, twice, because of Elena and falling in love with Stefan. Jenna was turned into a vampire and killed in order to turn Klaus into a hybrid because he was after Elena. Elena's parents are all dead, both adopted and biological, to protect her. How many times has Alaric been killed or hurt because of something Elena did or was involved in?"
Bonnie covered her face with her hands before sliding her fingers through her hair, wearily leaning against the counter. "I'm just tired, Care," she said. "Physically, emotionally, mentally. I don't know how much more of this any of us can take before we say enough is enough."
"But the Originals..." Caroline swallowed. She looked away and stared ahead as she thought about Klaus. How betrayed he had looked when he realized something was wrong with one of his family. How he he immediately knew she had tricked him. Why did it bother her so much when she was so adamantly convinced he was evil?
"We are surrounded by the supernatural," Bonnie said. "If there is one thing that knowing the Salvatores has taught me is that they are capable of anything. All the supernatural beings are. Including me. It's how we choose to live that matters."
Caroline looked at her friend, frowning. "What are you saying?"
"I am saying is why can't we just find a way to get along," Bonnie asked. "Why does it have to be about life and death in such black and white terms?"
"Klaus wants to create a legion of hybrids, like him-."
"A family," Bonnie said. "Don't we all want that?"
"He killed his family, stuck them in coffins and... traveled with... oh man," Caroline said.
"I'm not saying he's not evil, or has evil tendencies, but he's learned to adapt. He was forced to," Bonnie said. "He was forced to face the world on others terms and it sucked. It sucks for all of us. It doesn't mean we can't."
"What if they can't?" Caroline asked. "I would think you would want them gone above all else."
Bonnie gave her friend a tremulous smile. "I thought so too. But now my mother is transitioning and I just got her back, Caroline. If she wants to be a vampire, I won't discourage her. I know you..."
Caroline lowered her head, her throat closing. She slowly nodded before looking at her. "Yeah..." She wanted to blame Klaus for what happened to her father, but really, it wasn't entirely Klaus' fault. He had only sired Tyler into the vampire side of his hybrid nature. It wasn't that side that had broken free and attacked her father. It was the supernatural, genetic, side of him. The werewolf side. She understood why he was trying to control that side of himself, to break the sire bond, but how many more would end up like her father before he was able to? If he was able to. Deep down, Caroline knew that if Klaus hadn't been after Elena, Tyler wouldn't be a hybrid.
But was it truly Elena's fault? She hadn't asked to be born as a doppleganger. None of them had asked for this, but much of what had transpired the past year had been because of Elena's actions or inactions. How often had she watched on the sideline as various things had changed because of Elena and the things she did? Damon and Stefan both changing for better, worse or back again over their love for Elena. Elijiah lashing out to save himself and his siblings from their own mother by threatening Elena. Klaus using Elena's friends and family to finally get what he wanted, and in the end for what? Was he any happier?
And Bonnie. She'd lost her grandmother not quite a year ago, because of Elena's need to save at least Stefan from being locked in the tomb. Because she had begged them to open the tomb enough to allow both Salvatores to escape because Stefan had refused to leave without his brother. A few short months ago, she had to fake her own death in order to trick Klaus into thinking she was dead. Then Jeremy's death, resurrection, and now he was gone too. Abby was the final straw.
"So what do we do?" Caroline asked.
"I don't know," Bonnie admitted. "But I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to lose Elena, but I don't think I can deal with coming to her rescue anymore either."