Thanks goes out to my lovely beta-reader: Aethena. Love you!
I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball GT.
It was just an experiment, Goku kept telling himself. Just to see what would happen, to see if he could get away with it without suffering any consequences or repercussions of his actions. To see if what Vegeta and Krillin said was really true.
But mainly, it was out of his own curiosity.
Out of all the years he had been married to Chi-Chi, he had learned that she was as mixed as night and day. One day she could be as happy as a golden ray of sunshine smiling down on nature, and the next minute she could be as pissed off as the Prince of all Saiyans like that one time Trunks and Goten had decided to put a ki-powered stink bomb in the Gravity Room. Goku had stayed away from their house for months, in fear of incurring Vegeta's wrath. Goten wasn't allowed over there until Vegeta said so himself. As a matter of fact, the entire Son family was banned from Capsule Corporation until the prince deemed it okay.
Anyway, that's beside the point.
It was a test, thought Goku. Just a measly little one-time gig; kinda like a sparring match to test his limits.
Vegeta said frisk her.
Krillin said make a comment.
Master Roshi said do both, although Goku didn't understand why he even bothered to go to his old master for advice in the first place. He ignored him.
He definitely disregarded Vegeta's idea. What the hell did 'frisk' even mean in the first place? Who knew? What with the way it rolled off the care-free warrior's tongue, he knew it wasn't a good thing. Frisk … yeah. It didn't sound like a good thing. He took his best friend's advice into account, but then completely shoved that out of the way as well. Commenting on things, Goku learned, especially when one had no idea what they were talking about, did not make for a very good idea. It always got him yelled at, or worse, clogged with that ridiculously overbearing frying pan.
So, despite all of his constant pondering between his rival's and best friend's advice, Goku opted to do something of his own.
He would simply touch Chi-Chi. Seemed pretty simple, and to him, it was no harm done, a full-proof plan.
It had to have been opposite day … or not. Being away from his wife and kids resulted in Goku missing out on a lot: Gohan's growth spurt from a young boy to a young adult, Chi-Chi's pregnancy with their fireball son, Goten's birthing and seven year aging process, etc. Of all the things Goku had missed out on about his family, he had never taken into account that Chi-Chi, his loving wife for 20+ years, had been the one to change the most. And it was at this mistake that Goku learned that his wife can be not only pretty damn scary when she's pissed, but that she also, without a doubt, had one hell of a right hook.
She had been cooking when it happened; her back was facing the world and her sweet voice filled the empty room as she hummed. Goku had walked into the kitchen, his hand to his chin in a contemplative manner. His eyebrows were knitted in concentration, and beads of sweat unknowingly drifted down his face. He passed it off as a result of training, even though he hadn't bothered to work out that morning. Goten and Gohan were out at the moment, giving the Saiyan just enough time to execute his plan.
Lowering his ki, even though apart of him wondered why he did it in the first place when his wife couldn't even sense energy, Goku walked up behind her in a matter of two steps and extended his arm. The word 'frisk' crossed his mind, but he shook it off. It was either his way or the high way. Besides, what's the harm in a little tap? He had completely missed the fact that Chi-Chi had been carrying in her hand a very large, very sharp butcher knife. But none of that mattered. He had a mission to accomplish.
And so, with one swift but strength-reduced swing, Goku allowed his hand to collide with the soft, yet firm flesh hidden underneath the yellow cheongsam and blue pants that fitted his wife, or in lame man's term, Chi-Chi's backside.
In an instant, everything was a blur. No words were passed, and Goku watched with a keen fascination, yet with admiration, affection, and excitement, as Chi-Chi froze in her task, turned around so fast that Goku had honestly thought she was transforming into some weird, freaky alien, dropped her butcher knife to the floor in a clang, extended her fist, and punched him square in his jaw with a blow so hard, it literally stung. He didn't realize that he had dropped his ki too low, and as a result of his foolish mistake, Chi-Chi had sent him hurdling to the floor, her ebony eyes glowering at him in a fierce stare.
And almost immediately, his wife began to shout a long string of curses at him about being inappropriate, and his lack of manners, and disrespectful behavior, and how he should treat her with some dignity and other stuff.
Goku sat on the floor, his legs parted as an after-effect with his collision to the floor, one hand propping him up, the other rubbing his sure-to-be bruised jaw, and stared at his wife with all of the confusion of a 36-year-old man.
"I don't understand," Goku said after his wife finished her daily dosage of Spirit Bomb-sized yelling, not bothering himself with getting up from the floor. "What did I do wrong?"
"You are impossible!" Chi-Chi screamed at the top of her lungs, her hands clenched into fists as she glared at her husband with nothing short of ferocity.
In response to her outburst, Goku simply sent her one of his many mind-blowing, butterfly-tingling, heart-wrenching, gut-busting, toe-tickling, Kamehameha vs. Final Flash-explosive smiles, and it was as if Shenron's magic simply whisked away all of her anger as she released a deep-rooted sigh.
"Oh!" she whined aloud. "Why is it so hard to stay mad at you ...," she grumbled underneath her breath before reaching over to pick up the knife she dropped on the floor.
And as Chi-Chi graced her husband with a nice view of her backside, he felt his hand tingle, the one he had so surreptitiously touched without any regards to her reaction.
Chi-Chi's reaction - a punch to the jaw from the love of his life? Vegeta had been right.
It was worth it, Goku thought as he watched his wife start up her task of cooking again on the floor.
Inspired by yet another piece of fan art. The picture is the second one at the bottom on the left: http:/saiyan-love(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/15671956858
Hope you enjoyed this little one-shot; I was aiming for a Dragon Ball-esque scene. As far as Chi-Chi bruising Goku's face goes, for the sake of humor, let's just pretend that she is strong enough to leave a mark, only not so strong to where she'd actually damage Goku.
Check out a commission created by WootI-EAT-BABIES on deviantart! She did a fan comic based off the story and it is hilarious! The link is located in my profile.