Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries nor am I making a profit from this. Characters, etc. all belong to their respective owners.
A/N: Last night's episode broke my heart in ways I can't even begin to describe and…while this fic will technically be a Bonnie/Kol fic, it will be VERY much Bonnie-centric.
And then a Plank of Reason broke,
And I dropped down, and down—
And hit a World at every plunge,
And finished knowing—then—
-Emily Dickinson, "I Felt a Funeral in My Brain"
Tonight, something inside Bonnie Bennett had been irrevocably broken.
As she sat on Caroline's bed, staring at her mother's dead—soon to be undead—body, she had no idea what to do.
Should she be crying? Would it be better to be her usual efficient self and just keep working on something?
"Hey," Caroline whispered softly, climbing onto the bed next to Bonnie. "We'll get through this," the blonde vampire assured her, enfolding the heartbroken girl in her arms. "I promise."
Bonnie didn't respond because, really, what was there she could possibly say? It wasn't going to be alright. Abby was going to be a vampire or refuse to transition like Caroline's father and pass on. Either way, she lost her mother a second time.
Life wasn't fair, but it seemed to have a tendency to be especially unfair to her. She was just starting to make a break through with her mother, finally starting to see the potential in maybe having a relationship, finally having the chance to have a mother, and now…it was all gone.
"I hear someone coming up the steps…I think it's Elena," Caroline told her.
Bonnie shook her head before managing to choke out, "Please…don't let her in. I can't…" She squeezed her eyes shut.
"Okay," Caroline said understandingly, getting up to head Elena off at the door.
Despite her better judgment, Bonnie crept to the doorway of the bedroom, eavesdropping on the conversation.
"…and if Bonnie needs some time to deal, then I think you need to give it to her."
"She's always been there for me, Caroline," Elena said. "Please, let me just be there for her too."
In that moment, Bonnie was almost tempted to run into Elena's arms and cry it out as if that would somehow fix everything. It wouldn't, though. It wouldn't fix anything.
As much as she didn't want to blame Elena (and, on some level, she knew it wasn't entirely Elena's faulty. Not intentionally, anyway), but she couldn't just push her feelings away anymore.
If Elena hadn't gone off with Elijah, she wouldn't have been put in the hostage situation and none of it would have happened. The Originals would have been dead and then they could have gone back to trying to have some sort of shabby semblance of a normal life.
Why didn't Elena just listen to her?
It wasn't like Elena had asked for everything that had happened, but it didn't change the facts. As much as it hurt, Bonnie wasn't even sure if she was capable of looking at the brunette.
"I'm sorry, Elena." Bonnie could imagine the look of sympathy on Caroline's face, but she knew that the baby vampire would respect her wishes and not let Elena in.
"I know that you want to help," Caroline continued, "But put yourself in her shoes. Everything that happened tonight was to save you." Bonnie was sure that Elena's face was now a mask of hurt and surprise.
"And that's okay, because she loves you so much, but somehow…she's always the one that gets hurt," Caroline finished.
That comment felt like it had reached out and squeezed Bonnie's heart. She knew it must have felt like a sucker punch to Elena, but it was the truth.
"You…you know, you're right. I just…" Elena trailed off. "Just tell her that I love her, okay?"
Bonnie couldn't help but start to cry at that.
Why did everything constantly have to be so fucked up? Why did their lives always have to be so fucked up?
That line of thought was cut short when she heard a sudden gasp in the room. Abby was awake.
Bonnie didn't even know where to begin, so all the words came stumbling out at rapid speed in chocking sobs.
"Abby, I'm so sorry! Stefan and Damon came…they wanted to stop Esther from channeling us so Rebekah wouldn't kill Elena. I told them that we couldn't just stop it, so they…I tried to stop it, but…but it was all too fast…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
Through the blur of her tears, she could see the look of horror on Abby's face.
"Bonnie—" Caroline came rushing into the room.
It was like all the walls were closing in on her.
"I can't," she said, scrambling to get off the bed, almost tripping over her own feet. "I'm sorry…I just…" Before she even knew what she was doing, she was wrenching open the front door and stumbling into the cold night air, ignoring Caroline crying out her name. She just really hoped the blonde didn't follow her.
It wasn't hard to ignore the cold air and the fact that she had no idea where she was going with all the thoughts racing through her head.
Was Abby going to allow herself to turn? Judging by the utter look of horror, Bonnie would say not. Bonnie would have never allowed it.
What about Jamie? God, what the hell was she supposed to say to him? Abby was more of a mother to him than she was.
" Sorry, I had to go find her and get her help even though I'd been doing fine for the past fifteen years. Oh, yeah, by the way, she also got killed and turned by the two vampires I was stupid enough to actually trust. Sorry. That sort of stuff has a tendency to happen around me all the time."
She stopped walking, clutching at her tear-stained face, trying to calm her hysteric sobs.
Nothing has felt this bad since Grams…
Every time she closed her eyes, the scenario played out in her head. Stefan talking to her, her pleading for her own life, the loud crack of Abby's neck breaking. God, she had never felt so helpless…not since she had finally started getting a grasp on her powers. Yet, in all of a matter of seconds she was rendered completely and utterly at their mercy and she couldn't have done anything to save her mother.
Stefan and Damon…they had never been friends and she knew that if it came down to her and Elena, it would always be Elena, but that didn't make the betrayal sting any less.
"Rough night?" An accented voice said from behind her.
Bonnie spun around, coming face to face with the Original she recognized as Kol.
"Get the hell away from me?" Bonnie snapped.
"No need to be so hostile," he replied with a mocking frown. "Especially when I'm here to help you."
"Help me?" Bonnie asked through gritted teeth. "If by help, you mean setting yourself on fire repeatedly so I don't have to waste then energy, then by all means, go ahead."
He actually had the nerve to smirk at that one. "See, I was planning on skipping town earlier, but with my dear mother and Finn gone, I figured I might as well stick around and cause some trouble for those damn Salvatore brothers."
Bonnie was definitely not in the mood for any of this tonight.
"Look, if you're going to stand here and divulge your diabolical master plan like the idiot I'm sure you are, don't."
"Let me finish," he chided her. "I thought that if anyone around her held a grudge against Elena's man-candy, it would be you. I mean, killing your mother…it doesn't get much more personal than that."
"They turned her," Bonnie corrected.
"And do you really complete the transition, Bonnie? In my vast experience, witches-turned-vampires never last all too well."
"I'm not helping you kill the Salvatores," Bonnie replied, ignoring the little voice in her head that was saying, they do deserve it, though. She turned away and kept walking.
"And why not?" he asked, flash-stepping in front of her, causing her to abruptly stop before her face smacked into his chest.
"Because I don't do the whole revenge thing," Bonnie snapped, trying walk around Kol, but he blocked her path again.
"Maybe that's your problem," he told her. "Did you ever think that the people closest always walk all over you because they know you'd accept it and still stay loyal to them no matter what?"
Right, then a chill went down her spine because for a split-second, she actually thought he was right, which was terrifying as all hell.
"Look, I have had a very bad night, which you are partially responsible for, so believe me when I tell you I am all of five seconds away from setting your ass on fire," Bonnie snapped.
"You should probably save that for the people you're really angry at right now," he said with a smirk. The smug bastard knew he had just gotten under her skin.
Bonnie opened her mouth for a rebuttal, but he cut her off. "Tell you what, why don't you just think about it? Don't take too long, though. I'm known for being quite fickle." And with that, Kol stalked away.
She was about to call after him to tell him that she didn't need time to think that she wasn't going to do it, but that little voice in her head stopped her.
Why wouldn't you want to get rid of the Salvatore brothers once and for all? It's not like they killed only your loved ones.
And the usual answer to that would be something along the lines of Elena. Because it would hurt Elena. Because Elena wouldn't want her to.
Do you even care anymore?
She wasn't so sure she did anymore.
Was it worth eating right out of the devil's hand, though?
A/N: I started this Thursday right after the episode and tried to get it out Friday, but just wasn't able to, but I finally did. Quite frankly, I'm disgusted with what happened during that episode and I just want to see Bonnie kill everyone…
The title of this fic comes from an Emilie Autumn song, also title 'Opheliac'. It's in reference to the character Ophelia from Shakespeare's "Hamlet" and basically describes a descent into madness after betrayal. The poem at the beginning also describes going mad. Really morbid, huh?
Thanks for reading!