A/N 1: I do not own Glee.
A/N 2: This is a companion piece to my story Coming Home. This takes place before the beginning of Coming Home, but they do go together. This is a scene between Carole and Kurt. It is from Kurt's point of view and covers his struggle with religion. So obviously there will be religious references, I have no wish to offend anyone or their personal beliefs. I personally believe people have the right to worship as they please as long as they are not harming others. Most of all I wanted to show how Kurt and Carole interact. I hope this also shows just how great Carole can be.
A/N 3: This is for JasonDragon64 because I know our 'chats' helped inspire me to write this. Because of those same 'chats' I have ideas for a few more of these little outtakes, for the lack of a better term. There scenes that don't really fit, but I still love them.
All Things Considered
Kurt and his dad had stopped going to church after his mother died. He had been mad at God at the time for taking his mother away and his father had seemed to feel the same way. Back then they had been Presbyterians. His dad had explained that he had only gone to the Presbyterian Church because that was what his wife had wanted. However, Carole and Finn were Baptist. This was all a different experience for Kurt; he wasn't sure what to make it everything.
Carol and Finn have been attending this small Baptist Church for many years. It was actually the church they had held his dad and Carole's wedding at. It is a lovely little place and he liked the atmosphere it. The people of their congregation were friendly, the music was wonderful, and most of the time he felt accepted. This was a far cry from the strict and traditional services he had attended as a child or the highly active and very loud service he had went to with Mercedes.
This was his third Sunday to attend services with his family. His dad started attending services right after Carole and he were wed, but he had held out for a month. He missed spending Sunday mornings with his family, but he was afraid of being seen as a hypocrite for going to church with them. He had made a very big point of being an atheist during his dad's hospital stay and didn't want to admit that going to services with Mercedes had made him curious.
If he was honest though, most of his problems with God started with the death of his mother. But in the last few years he had learned to be grateful to have his father and the relationship they had together. He was sure if his mother had lived he would not be nearly as close to his father as he was. He loved his mother very much and misses her all the time, but the way things are now is best for him.
He wouldn't be the person he was if his mother had lived. A lot of times things are very awkward with his dad, but his dad really was his strength. He wasn't sure if he would have the strength to handle the things he's faced so far in his life if his mother had been there. She had been a wonderful mother, but she shielded him from society and the harshness of the human race. He could remember times at the park when the other kids would call him small or girly; his mom would quickly gather him up and take him home. He spent more time playing with his mother than those his own age. It's no wonder losing her had brought his whole world down around him.
Also after understanding how ill his mother was and how hard dying was for her, he was glad that she didn't suffer any more than she did. So after getting Carole and Finn in his life and seeing how wonderful being a family with them could be, he was coming to understand some horrible things have to happen for better things to happen in the end. He was learning to be thankful for the good things in his life and was trying to let go of the bad and forgive.
Still he wasn't quite ready to believe in God. He had thought that going to church would make him a hypocrite, the even as an atheist he was a failure. Then a few weeks ago he had seen on Oprah where several atheists did attend church. They did so anonymously, so it couldn't be a totally bad thing.
Since he got older and discovered his sexuality another large reason for his non-belief oh God was most Christians hated and bashed homosexual people. These so-called Christians claimed that that is what God wanted them to do, but why if God made him gay would he make his believers hate him?
Because he believes if there is a God, then God made him gay. Being gay was not something he chose to be, he was born homosexual. So, if what so many Christians believe is true then homosexuals are evil and immoral. That people like him should be hated for who they love. Well if that is what God believes then God was a hateful being and he didn't want to believe in something that held that much hate in its heart.
But when he went to church with Mercedes and saw how nice and accepting the congregation was he started to question some of his own beliefs. So his curiosity and the need for spending time with his family has led him for the fourth time in a year to attend church.
Kurt noticed, yet again, the same two old ladies that he I'll deserve on both of his prior visit to the church staring at him from a couple rows back. They were whispering back and forth while looking at him and once in a while with giggle. Most of the time here he felt welcomed, but when those two started in with the giggling it grated on his nerves. He wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it was because he was gay. He supposed his sense of style might be humorous to individuals of an advanced age such as the two ladies.
"Carole, can you tell me about the two elderly ladies two rows back?" he politely asked.
"Irene West and Norma Lockwood, they own Westwood Flower Shop downtown. They are just wonderful ladies. They are the ones responsible for all the flower arrangements here at the church. They change them all out on a weekly basis. They've gone to church here my whole life," she answered.
"Westwood's where I get the flowers for my mother's grave. They have the best selection in all of Lima, but I don't remember ever seeing either of them there. I always deal with a lovely lady named Millie," he told her.
"Well the gals retired from the day to day stuff about ten years ago now," she responded.
"That would've been just before Mom died," he said.
What Carole did next went straight to his heart, she didn't say a word just put a hand on his knee and squeezed a little. It was a very comforting gesture. He was very grateful that she hadn't tried to replace his mother. She seemed to be happy with being friends. The most important thing was that she made his dad happy, but he really did love her too. She wasn't hismother, but she was willing to be his mother figure and he thought that was great. She was never harsh with him, but wouldn't let him get away with things either. She was quiet and strong.
"I don't want to sound rude, but is it just me or do they giggle at everyone like that?"
"Oh, sweetheart, they really like you. We were talking about you the other day and both of the gals told me how wonderfully happy just seeing you makes them. They think you're very brave. Plus they love to see what you're going to wear next," she told him.
"So they're not laughing at me because I'm gay?" he asked.
"Not at all dear that would make them just a little hypocritical," she told him.
"They will celebrate fifty years together this summer," Carole said with a smile.
"Wow, do you think I can meet them? It would be nice to know some homosexual people. You know ones that are actually out like me," he told her.
She smiled even bigger and patted his leg.
"They've been wanting to meet you too Kurt. They just didn't want to feel like they were rushing you'" Carole told him.
He couldn't believe his luck, to get to know others like him. Blaine was the only gay friend up until now. He had had the opportunity to meet Rachel's dads, but he really didn't want to have anything more to do with the girl with he already did. He was so hoping these two ladies wouldn't mind becoming acquaintances. He thought of something else and almost bounced off the pew it his excited state.
"Carole, are there any other gay people that go to church here?" Kurt asked.
He reasoned if the church had accepted a lesbian couple there could very well be others. If that was so, he might not mind learning more about the Baptist faith.
"There are two other couples and a nice young lady," Carol informed him.
Now Kurt was really curious and very excited. He just couldn't believe his luck. More people like him, people who would understand him. He loved his family and he knew Dad and Carole loved him, but Finn was still uncomfortable with him. His dad was great about him being gay and really tried to support him, but he made his dad uncomfortable a lot too.
"Are they all women?"
Please, please, please let at least one couple be men. He really should have paid more attention to people the last two times he was here. Surely if he had he would have notice some of these people already. There were only a hundred and sixty members of the church.
"No, the other two couples are all men," Carol said.
"Do you think I could meet them too?" he hoped he didn't sound as excited as he was.
For the longest time he never thought he would meet another gay person in Lime. He knew statically that it was impossible for him to be the only one, but he just hadn't met any others. At times like this he noticed just how sheltered from the world he was. Up until going to Dalton his world had been, home, the shop, school, and the mall. His father wasn't nearly as over protective or possessive as his mother had been, but he had still managed to keep Kurt closer to home than most kids. He had once read that single parents have a stronger and more equal bond with their children.
"I'll see what I can set up for next weekend since Finn said you already have other plans this afternoon," she said.
"Thank you," he said and kissed her on the cheek.
"You're very welcome. What are you boys doing today?" she asked.
"Puck's coming over and we're going to hang out in the garage. We wanted to have one last go at the instruments before the car gets moved in," he told her.
He and Finn were both really excited about the Camaro that his dad had got them. It was a real piece of junk and they were going to rebuild it from the bottom up. He was going to get to teach Finn not only the mechanical side of working on the car, but how to rebuild the body too. Plus his dad had a friend that was going to teach him how to do the upholstery and cosmetic stuff to the interior as well.
He and his dad had always had great bonding times with cars and he thought maybe it could help his and Finn's relationship. His dad thought it was a good idea too. He could teach Finn something other than oil and tire changes without putting any of the customer's vehicles at risk.
"We're going to paint it red with white racing stripes," Finn said from the other side of Carole.
"Finn Hudson, how many times do I have to tell you I am not riding around in the 'Titan-mobile' as you dubbed it? I don't care if they declare you the King of McKinley High you are not painting our car your school colors," he leaned across Carole and hiss at his step brother.
"But school pride is cool, besides you'll just choose something girly like mauve or fuchsia," Finn argued back.
"Finn stop calling Kurt girly and Kurt stop calling Finn a jock," Carole said.
"Your mom's right, keep arguing and I'll make you leave the thing coated only in primer," his dad added.
"Yes, Sir," the two boys said in unison.
"Good, now sit back and hush the services are about to begin," she told them.
He sat back as the preacher started talking. Today's sermon was about tolerance and acceptance. He thought that was a good choice, everyone could do with showing more tolerance and acceptance. Even people who weren't sure or not there was a God could learn from his teachings if they were all like this. He was trying after all. Just because he didn't believe in God doesn't mean he doesn't want to believe in something. He still wasn't sure what to think, but he had a feeling he might be able to find a place for himself here.
All things considered, it might not be too bad to believe in something better than this world.