A/N: So as guys, I totally can see Robin and Wally just going all at it with video games. I can also see them having a great reactions during those crazy ass moments during games. This is going to be a collection of one-shots about their lovely times playing video games. Hilarity ensured. Read and Review. Like please.
BTW, Roy totally has an unfortunate name because every person named Roy is a freaking douchebag.
"He didn't just do that, did he?"
The two boys sat there numb while watching the game's cut scene. Wally couldn't bring himself to pause the game or do anything. The game had just dropped a shit ton of emotional trauma on them and he just didn't know what to do. "I thought he was our friend…?" Robin mumbled. His voice was hollow. The cut scene continued on as they watched the main character's life shatter.
"I hate Roy."
"I've never hated a person more."
The boys started to fume over Roy Earle; the goddamned douche bag that he was. He betrayed them and the two of them hated nothing more than getting betrayed. Their shouts started echoing through the mountain. Artemis could really help overhearing their rant. She peaked her head out of a corridor into the room that the main room where the two boys were playing.
"Roy is douche bag."
"He deserves a freaking award for being a little bitch snitch."
"Heh—Rob, you totally just rhymed."
Roy. Why were they hating on Roy? That was her gig. She's the one who was supposed to whine and moan about how he's such a douche. Maybe they finally saw the light and how freaking cocky the red haired archer was.
Did this mean they were going to stopping moaning about how they wanted Roy and not her?
"Goddamn it, Roy!"
"I still can't believe he sold us out!"
"It was just one affair!"
Artemis wanted to a happy dance. Wait—one affair? Okay, this was getting a bit sketchy.
Did that mean Rob and KidDipshit were like…together?
Holy Freaking Flying Puppies. She had always toyed with the idea and teased them about this, but if it's real… She was about ready to go into shock with all of this getting thrown at her. She had to do something—talk to someone—but how was she going to talk to someone. It wasn't like she was supposed to know about this.
She wasn't ready to go to Black Canary and be all Did you know that Rob and KidWhore were like an item? Oh and that Roy knows and they are pissed that he knows because he used it…against them…or something like that.
Yeah, that wasn't going to go too well.
"Jesus! I have a kid, Roy!"
That brought her back to reality.
They had a kid.
They had a kid.
They had a kid.
They had a kid.
They had a kid.
She didn't know how to handle this. Maybe she should go out there and just say she over heard them and wanted to get a real explanation. This was going to end up getting out of hand. She couldn't just sit here in the dark—literally and metaphorically—and let her mind wander. There was obviously a real explanation to this. Maybe she can contact Roy. He can explain. Sure he might hate her, but this would give them common ground to talk about. She needed to get this out. She felt like she was chocking on this.
"Oh god…my wife?"
That was Rob. And he had a wife. Was he a…polygamist?
Wait. Wait—he was thirteen. There was no way he was married. Maybe they were…role playing? Okay, that's not anymore comforting in any other manor. Maybe they were playing Sims. And they named all their characters after people on the team. Who was she? Just kidding, on Sims she didn't think that something like what they were talking about. God, this was weird.
Artemis had to confront them.
"Roy—Fucking—Earle, I hate you."
"Wait…Roy Earle?" that wasn't her thoughts, or herself talking to herself. She nearly screamed when a hand clamped over her mouth and pressed her against the wall. It was Roy—as in Roy Harper, Red Arrow. As in the guy who might—or might not—have some dirt on the apparent couple in the other room.
"Are you—are they—a kid—as in couple—Oneida clan—what the hell is going on?" she asked in a hush.
He placed his hand back on her mouth. "I don't…know, to be honest," he admitted. "I was here to do some public angsting, but then I heard them complaining about me…and I think you heard the rest," he explained.
"Maybe we should…confront them?" she suggested.
Roy looked uneasy. He shook his head, but then shrugged. "I don't know what we should do."
"Guys, we know you've been back there the entire time," Robin called out.
The two archers froze in their spots. "Whoa, you guys having a fun time. Are you guys having like Arrow-incest?" Wally was instantly behind Artemis and Roy. That was when Artemis finally realized just how close Roy was, and how his entire body was pressed against hers. It didn't look to good for them. Thank God, Canary didn't find them like this. They would never hear the end of this from Green Arrow—Canary would just be glad that her babies were getting along.
They quickly separated and stared at the speedster. He was eating a bag of chips and just looked unamused at them. "You—Rob—Baby?" Artemis stuttered out.
Wally immediately narrowed his eyes at the two. "Goddamn Roy. He was my partner for crying out loud and he betrayed me just so the freaking freak looked freaking good. I hate everyone. I hate everything. Everyone should just burn in a freaking fire. A big fire. In a cave because a freaking cave is ahhh—!" he shouted. He dropped his chips and ripped at his hair. "Most frustrating ever!" he started vibrating in place.
"Dude, calm down. We agreed on a time out because you started to set the couch on fire," Robin walked over to where they were standing. Rob was not as outwardly upset as Wally, but his cheeks were flushed bright red—from his sudden irritation.
"Wait, Rob, are you and Wally, like, you know?"
"And you guys have a kid?"
"And you guys are polygamist?"
Robin immediately shook his head. "Dude. L.A. Noire. Get with the program," he shook his hand and walked away.
Roy and Artemis stood there in shock. "L.A. Noire?" they quested.
"Roy, we asked you if you wanted to come over to play, but you said you had other stuff to do," Wally glared at him. Suddenly, Wally punched Roy in the noise, promptly breaking his nose. "Goddamn Roy," he grumbled and ran away.