A/N: Sorry I haven't been updating. Like uber sorry. My family's like falling apart and stuff. A death in the family-oh Jason-and stuff. I also haven't played video games in forever so I'm drained. I'm thinking an Arty/M'gann/Harvest Moon one is next or another Arkham City with how Harley's preggos. Yeah. Sorry. I'm drained. No LOL Paz, only angst.
Robin and Wally were trying really hard not to get banned from video games again. After the whole Army of Two incidents, Batman hasn't looked at Robin the same again. The whole accidentally killing a kid's parents thing didn't really bode well fro Rob and Wally trying to prove that video games were good for the soul and mind.
That's why they were back to playing L.A. Noire. It was a game about crime solving! Might as well replace the main character with Batman.
Yeah, they were trying to such up to Batman by playing video games. That totally made sense, right? "Do we seriously have to figure out if she's lying or not about whether she ate a sandwich with him or not?" Wally groaned and rolled on top of Rob.
Robin kneed him in the back of the head, but Wally's thick head prevented him from feeling a thing. It finally came in handy besides preventing him from getting concussion when he ran into walls. "Dude, you never know. Bats and I once went against a guy named Condiment Man."
"What does a guy named Condom Man have to do with anything?" Wally asked trying to feed himself more apple chips as he was sprawled out over Robin's lap. He kept on getting crumbs on Robin's lap from his messy eating habits.
Robin doesn't like crumbs.
Robin rolled his eyes, "Does your mind ever stop thinking about that stuff?"
"Oh my God. You can't say it," Wally laughed and choked on an apple chip.
"Yeah, I can," Robin pouted.
"Then say it."
"I don't have to prove anything to you."
Wally sat up and pinched Robin's cheeks. "Awe, did you learn that in bully awareness class today, Dickie-Bird?"
Robin gave Wally the infamous Batglare—or more like Birdglare or Robinglare, but they just didn't have the same ring to them. He then jerked his knees up and moved his elbow so it collided right with Wally's nose. "We're not friends," Dick announced. He decided to pick that the lady was telling the truth about what type of sandwich she was eating. The sad noise that the game made informed them that they got it wrong. "Did she seriously just lie about what type of sandwich she ate?"
"Don't change the subject Dickie-Bird," Wally said, clutching his nose. He really was starting to lose too much blood because of Robin and Artemis breaking his nose constantly. "Are you in third grade?" Wally cooed. He was going to pinch Robin's cheeks again, but thought better of that. Birds can be quite aggressive sometimes.
"I'm in ninth grade."
"How old are you?"
"How do you know?"
"…I'm going to bite you."
And when Robin makes a threat, it is never empty. It just sometimes takes a bit of time for the threat to get executed. "Uh huh. That's so adorable!"
"I'm not adorable."
"Yes you are."
"Are you a girl?"
"No, but I can get all the girls on the team in here and they would all agree with me about how adorable you are. Batman's manly and you're adorable. It's a balancing act."
"Aw, are you angry again? Terrible twos?"
"KF, I will get you kicked off the team."
"Is that a threat? What are you going to do?"
"It's not what I did, it's what you did."
Now Wally was interested, "What blackmail do you have on me?"
Robin smirked and continued playing his game. They had just started a new mission and they were driving to the new crime scene. Of course, it was much easier for Robin to just drive on the sidewalks and kill everyone instead of actually trying to drive like a normal person. But that's a norm in every video game. "You got Artemis pregnant."
"N-Now who's making shit up? We're not even together in anyway."
Robin smirked, "She's willing to play along if it means you get in trouble."
"You two are demons."
"I believe you meant to say awesome."
"I hate you."
"Now, KF, how many times have I told you not to lie?"
They went back to playing the game. The next mission was one of the infamous, Werewolf homicide missions. There was a bloody alleyway and the mess let up to the roof where the body was located—bloody, beaten, and naked. Both of the boys looked disgusted. Sure, Robin had investigated missions similar to this in real life, but it still didn't make this any better. To investigate the body for clues, the person had to crouch over the body and stuff.
"Hey, boys, whatchya up to?" The Flash ran into the room.
"Oh frick," Wally muttered knowing that his uncle was going to jump to conclusions.
The Flash's eyes widened. "I'm telling Batman you're playing a porn game!" and with that he ran out of the room.
Wally and Robin groaned. "He's not going to let me patrol for weeks."
"I'm grounded. Forever."
"Do you even want to attempt explain what we were doing?"
The boys paused the game and just waited for them to get in trouble. They didn't even try to escape or anything. They just shared a sad glance before Robin smacked Wally with the controller. "This is your fault."
Wally snorted, "How?"
"You said, oh lets suck up to Batman by playing this detective game."
"This was not my idea."
"I told you we should have just played Harvest Moon with Artemis."
"That's a girls game!"
"And your point is…?"
"The Flash tells me you were playing inappropriate games, again." Like usual, the Batman just appeared out of nowhere in front of the two boys. They shared a look.
"We can ex—"
"Wally got Artemis pregnant!" Robin shouted before grappling away.
"You little ass! Get back here!"
"Wait, you got my protégé pregnant?" Green Arrow pulled a Batman and just appeared in the room out of nowhere.
"No! This is all a big misunderstanding!" Wally really wished he could just hide in the couch or something. He wasn't ready for the Batglare that was nearly cooking him form the inside out.
"Wally's lying!" Artemis shouted from M'gann's room.
If he thought the looks he was getting before were bad…
He really should have played Harvest Moon.