So as promised the chapter we've all been waiting for! I am going to credit the movie for it's amazing lines at the end of the chapter and see if any of you can guess which lines and movie I should be easy! Thanks for checking in on me and being so passionate about my work. I am just, I mean there is no word to describe how busy I am right now that I seriously do not get a lot of me time, so I am glad that I was able to squeeze out a tiny chapter for you! Enjoy it!

Chapter 19: Going to be Hard

"I can't keep doing this!" I ran my hand through my hair in frustration as my brother sat across from me with a smirk on his face.

"Dude, you knew what you were getting yourself into from the beginning. She made it very clear and hell you even agreed to her terms." He pointed out to me.

"I know and I thought I could control my feelings but I can't hold them in any longer. I have to tell her."

Nathan shook his head and let out a long, heavy sigh.

"I think it's still too early."

"Nate, man, it's been seven months since the accident and about four since she moved in with me. I realize that's not a long time but I need her to know everything. I just can't keep up with this anymore. I mean I don't know how Brooke feels, but she has to feel something. I mean we still haven't talked about the past or any of it."

"Are you going to show her?"

I looked up at him and the overwhelming feeling to vomit erupted through me.

"I don't know."

"Man, Luke, you know you just sat here and said that you wanted her to know everything. It's time." Nathan walked away and was gone for some time.

Of course I remember what I just said to him but those are something I never wanted to show her.

"Maybe." I said to myself as chills coursed through me.

Nathan walked back into the room with the box in his hands. He placed the box in front of me and I cringed a little.

"Take it. Do what you like with it, but I am not keeping it here any longer. It's time. Now get out of my house. We have family day." Nathan said as he began to help me get out of my seat.

I laughed at him as I cautiously grabbed the box. Nate began to push me out of the house. Once we were outside, we noticed the sky turning a wicked shade of grey.

"Your family day might get cut short." I said to him.

"Maybe. Has she done that thing she used to do lately?"

"You mean sit in the pouring cold rain and get sick? No, well, not that I am aware." I really hope that she hasn't been sneaking out of the house and doing that.

The whole tabloid story was still an issue for Brooke. Even though it has been months since the story was revealed, it will never settle right with what they called her and accusing her for killing Julian.

"I know you are looking out for her and I know that she has been progressing, but you never know with Brooke." Nathan said as he pulled me in for a quickly brotherly hug.

I drove down to Brooke's store which was prospering very well. She was getting more customers, she was able to get more clothing lines and she was finally finishing her portfolio of her own work.

The rain started to pour just as I reached the boutique. I ran inside and found my favorite sweet girl behind the counter. I blushed as she smiled at me.

"Hey Becky, where's Brooke?" I brushed the water from my hair and patted my jacket down.

"She, she left about twenty minutes ago. She left me in charge, kind of a slow day with the storm coming and everything." She batted her lashes at me and I couldn't help but blush again.

"Did she say where she was going?"

"No, she just said she needed to leave. She left me the keys and everything. It will be my first time closing the store by myself." She carried on as I began to get worried.

"Did anything strange happen today at work that might have set Brooke off to just leave?"

Becky was obviously distracted by me but I gave her a stern look as the day flashed through her head again.

"Well yeah something did happen. Some messenger stopped by and brought Brooke a package. After she opened it, she got rid of it and was like a zombie for the rest of the time right before she left." Becky crossed her arms and leaned over the counter revealing a lot of cleavage.

I leaned in.

"Becky, you are a beautiful, bright young lady. Thank you and you don't have to try so hard." I winked at her and her mouth fell open.

"Be safe and close the store properly." I waved to her and headed for the car.

The rain was bitter and angry as it beat violently against the windshield. I had to drive about twenty miles per hour because I couldn't see anything in front of me. Once I made it to the house, I noticed that Brooke's car wasn't there, but I figured I would go inside and look just to make sure.

"Brooke?" I called out and I got no response.

I cursed under my breath and called her cell phone. It went straight to voicemail.

"Damn it!" I gripped my fingers tightly around my phone and hurried out to my car.

By now I am just soaked and I start driving to where I believe Brooke would be. I drive through town and I don't see her car anywhere. I go to the River Court, I call Nathan and Haley. Then it hit me. I knew exactly where she went.

I drove like a bat out of hell, well, I wanted too. I drove a good fifty five miles per hour to my destination knowing exactly where she would go and the storm was not letting up any. Then I saw her car. An hour later, I was a little relieved to finally find her. I wrapped my jacket tightly around me and made my way to where I knew she would be. The trees were blowing from side to side fiercely and some of the limbs hit me. I really hope there isn't going to be a hurricane. This is almost what it feels like. I finally came to the clearing and there she was sitting Indian style right at the edge of the cliff. My heart stopped.

"BROOKE!" I shouted out to her and she didn't move.

I ran to her and placed my hands on her shoulders and brought her to her feet. Her face was pale and she was shaking.

"Brooke, open your eyes, look at me!" I shouted at her again over the rain beating against the ground.

"Is it ever going to end?" She barely whispered.

"What?" I asked her.

"This nightmare." She looked up at me.

"Brooke it can be over whenever you want it to be. You just have to let yourself break free." I really wanted to take her to the car so I can get her out of this storm.

"No, I can't. It's not that simple."

I didn't want to hear her speak this way. I was actually getting sick of hearing it.

"It's been seven months, Brooke, and I know it's hard, but you have to let go and move on from this. You are doing so well with everything." I said brushing the wet strands of hair from her face.

"It doesn't matter. I can never be happy, it's not possible."

"God damn it, Brooke!"

I stepped back and ran my hands through my hair roughly slicking it back out of my face.

"You are the most beautiful, brightest woman I know who has been blessed with amazing friends and family. You deserve to be happy and it's what you can be, but you aren't allowing yourself to do it!" I was getting frustrated and almost angry with her.

"It's not that simple." She said.

"It is that simple! I love you Brooke and damn it, I can make you happy!" I finally let it out and the look on her face.

"You love me!" She said sarcastically as she pushed me and I stepped backwards.

"You fucking love me! Why? I am a horrible person!" She pushed me again and I took hold of her arms to stop her.

"I have always loved you, Brooke, and I don't think I ever stopped."

She walked away from me and had her back to me for some time.

"Why didn't you come after me? Why didn't you try to find me? Was Peyton's manipulations that great and believable? It wasn't over for me! I waited for you for five years but now it's too late"

"It wasn't over for you! Then why did you fucking leave Brooke? I mean were you just that insecure about me? About us? Don't you stand there and make this to all be my fault!" I pointed my finger towards her.

She started shaking her head.

"I know okay! I know! But Lucas it was always Peyton and even you can't deny that!" She pointed her finger back at me accusingly.

"Just stop it Brooke! I was devastated and distraught when you left that I even did something that…that I thought I would never have to reveal." I paused and saw the tears fall from her eyes.

"I wrote you. I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year but I didn't know where to send them." I said barely.

"You wrote me?" I could see her tears through the rain.

"Yes…it wasn't over…it still isn't over!" I hurried over to her and pulled her into my arms kissing her as if I never have before.

My arms tightened around her soaked clothes bringing her body into mine. Kissing Brooke Davis was unlike any other experience I've ever had. I honestly don't know how I've been able to go so long without doing this with her. It took her a minute to accept my kiss and my embrace and she finally caved and brought her fingers into my hair yanking me closer to her and she intensified the kiss.

I didn't care that we were out in the open but it was secluded and I just wanted her: all of her. I picked her up and her legs automatically wrapped around my waist. I carried her away from the edge and towards the bunch of rocks to give us more privacy. I gently laid her upon the ground and reached for her sweater. She let me take it off of her and I went for her shoes pulling them off one by one. Even though we were in the middle of a rainstorm I wanted to be gentle to her. I wanted to show her just how much I have always loved her. Her jeans were a little harder to remove as they clung to her body. She was finally clad in only her bra and panties. She was the most beautiful woman ever.

She leaned up slowly as the rain caressed over her eyes and she blinked furiously. She let her nails run up my torso to my chest as she removed my shirt. I massaged her shoulders as she did this and I brought my lips back to hers. She tasted like perfection. Everything about her was intoxicating leaving me only wanting more. I couldn't stand it any longer. I removed her bra and she pulled off her panties. I unbuckled my jeans and she surprised me by reaching for my dick and pulling it out. She looked at it with wonder and then back up to me. I leaned over her and held my dick towards her entrance.

"We don't have to do this."

She placed her fingers over my lips and bucked her hips towards me. It was enough to let me know that she wanted this. I thrust my member into her gently and started my motions. The rain didn't make this easy but I wanted every part of her and I didn't care what was happening. She moaned and it was an amazing sound.

Her arms ran up my back and to my shoulders pulling me further into her. I reached down and took her lips. My tongue chased hers in her mouth until it finally caught it. Her hips bucked into mine and I felt I was going to explode at any moment. Then when she purred in my ear it was enough to send me over the edge. I released my orgasm and she came quickly after me.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly almost forgetting the rain that was washing over us.

"Brooke, I love you so much."

She didn't say anything and then a loud crack of lightning hit the side of the cliff.

"Let's get out of here."

She nodded and I handed her my jacket as I fastened my jeans and belt. She was only wearing my soaking wet jacket as I helped her gather the rest of our clothes. I took her hand and for the first time I heard her giggle.

"What's so funny pretty girl?"

"Nothing. Hurry." She said as she slid in some mud.

This time I laughed at her and we finally made it to the car.

She climbed in and then I remembered I had some blankets in the trunk.

"What are you doing?" She called out.

"Hang on." I ran around to the trunk of the car and pulled out the plush material and hurried back inside.

"Here…something to keep us dry."

She took off the soaking wet jacket and wrapped herself perfectly with the blanket. I watched her as she revealed her beautiful skin and then craftily wrap herself up in the blanket. I quickly covered myself up as well trying to prevent either one of us from getting sick.

She fell asleep on the ride back to Tree Hill and I did my best to think about what just happened and how to make sense of all of it. I told her how I felt. I told her about my letters. I told her that it was never over for me…never over for us. I turned to look at her and she was still sleeping. A part of me started to think that she felt this was all a mistake.

The storm was still not letting up at all. The rain poured and was trying desperately to pierce through the windshield. As we got back to the house I wanted to make our run to the house discrete seeing as to how we were both in only blankets.

"Brooke…babe…wake up." I shook her gently to stir her from her slumber.

She turned and it almost seemed she forgot what just happened between us.

"Let's go."

We both got out of the car and I took her hand in mine and we made our run for the front porch. I heard Brooke giggle and once we reached the porch, someone cleared their throat.

Brooke and I just stared at the person sitting on the swing.

"I went to the store to see you and Becky told me that you left suddenly and I became worried. I tried calling you both but it seems like you two are doing just fine." She crossed her arms over her small frame and stared at us.

Brooke quickly dropped my hand.

"I'm sorry. It's just been a really bad day."

"It doesn't seem that way to me." The hurt and pain was noticeable in her voice.

Yes things seem to be getting slowly better with Peyton but I am sure for her seeing Brooke and I in just blankets doesn't help her out at all.

"What did you need Peyton?" I asked quietly.

"I just wanted to see Brooke. I got worried when Becky told me you left and I just came here in hopes to find you. I had called both of your phones but neither answered so I thought I would wait here." Peyton got up, grabbed her raincoat, and started leaving.

Brooke and I didn't know what to say. What do you say to your ex best friend and your ex girlfriend after she has seen her former best friend and former lover together?


"Brooke, I'll talk to you later." Peyton ran out in the rain and towards her car.

I quickly unlocked the house and she ran inside. She ran towards her room and slammed the door shut. I was a little disappointed that she disappeared so quickly. Maybe she was regretting what just happened between us. I went to my room, changed into some clean, dry clothes and waited for her in the kitchen. Twenty minutes went by and she still wasn't out of her room. I grew frustrated. I went to knock on her door but she came out dressed in my hoodie and a pair of shorts.

"Hey." I said to her.

"Hey." She said brushing the hair from her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked letting out a sigh.

"I just think…what we did was a mistake." She fumbled with the strings of the sweatshirt and looked away from me.

"Why are you saying this?" I asked her stepping forward as she stepped back.

"'s everything! Julian, Peyton, me, you….this just isn't right." She started walking back to her room and I followed her.

Once I was inside her room I saw that she had started packing.

"What are you doing?" I was shocked and nervous.

"I just…I just think that we have made a mistake and that I have rushed all of this. It's not right. I am doing exactly what that sleazy reporter said I was doing. I killed my fiancé and now I am sleeping with my ex lover."

I was baffled at her. The choice of words she was throwing at me. I hurried out of the room.

"Luke!" I heard her call out but I didn't listen. I ran to the car and reached for the box I had kept hidden away for so long.

I rushed back inside and to her room as she began to start packing again.

"Here." I handed her the worn out box that was daring to crumple due to the rain.

She opened the box and ran her fingers over the delicate materials of my letters. I took in a deep breath.

"I am not going to make this easy. It's going to be really hard. We're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's not with me then fine Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."

Tears began to stream down her eyes. I could see the conflict and emotion course through her eyes.

"Don't think about anybody else! What everyone else thinks you should do or shouldn't do! Stop thinking about what I want, what she wants! What do you want! What DO you want! Damn it, Brooke, what do you want?" I felt my heart begin to palpitate just a little but I did as my doctor instructed me all those years ago…to just breathe.

She broke out into sobs and her whole body shook.

"I can't be here right now. Please leave me alone." She shoved me out of the room and slammed the door shut.

I placed my hand on the outside of her door and cursed to myself. I went to sit in the kitchen and I buried my head into my hands. This isn't how I wanted it to go; this isn't how I wanted her to react. Was it Peyton setting her off? Was it really the tabloid? What type of package did she receive today?

I didn't realize how much time had gone by until there was a soft knock on the door. I got up from my seat and opened it. Haley covered from head to toe in rain gear was on the other side.

"Hey." She said as she stepped in.

"Did she call you?" I asked her barely making my words audible.

"Yeah. Luke…Nathan told me why you stopped by today and I…I think it's great that is what you want from her, but maybe she just still isn't ready." Haley stopped and when she was going to speak again, Brooke had her bag and she entered the kitchen.

"Can we go now please?"

Lucky for me, I guess, she didn't pack everything; she just packed an overnight bag, well a few nights over bag.

"Yeah Tigger." Haley held out her hand and took Brooke's.

"Bye Luke." Haley said. I smiled at her and waited for Brooke to say something to me.

"Goodnight." She said before leaving with Haley.

I felt crushed, hurt, and almost betrayed, but was I really expecting Brooke to just accept this with open arms. No, I was going to fight for her, and just like I told her, I wasn't going to make this easy for her.

"It's going to be hard."

Movie lines I used belong to the amazing story adaptation of The Notebook.

So what are your thoughts? Where do you think I should take it from here? There is obviously a lot of inner demons that Brooke has not dealt with yet, so I am going to work with those...she's been through enough I think that this still shouldn't be rushed...but we'll see where it goes!

Thanks again review and give me your awesome suggestions!