Okay, so, um... I wrote this in like 15 minutes, so it's not my best... I recommend listening to Mr. Fancy Pants, by Jonathan Coulton. If you don't want to listen to it, because the song goes pretty fast, just look up the lyrics. I had this idea in my head for a while now. This is unbeta'd, but enjoy!
Billy liked pants. That was all there was to it. Pants, pants, pants. No wonder he got the nickname Fancypants. Even the other kids call him that now. Now, every year at the Mall Of America, there was a Mr. Fancypants competition. Of course Billy entered. So he had to get pants that were fancy enough to wear.
"Yeah, hello? I'm looking for the fanciest pants you have." Billy said to the girl whose nametag read "HI, MY NAME IS Lily!"
They had gone to Hollywood to get him the fanciest pants they could find. Thanks to the crowd at Battle of the Bands, they had, in fact, won, and so they were using that money for it.
Lily raised an eyebrow at Billy. "Right this way," then led him and Tomika, who was with him, to the back. "Stay right here, okay? I'll be right out." And went into a storage room.
When she came out, she was gingerly holding a pair of the most awesome and shiny pants that Billy had ever seen. They were covered in semi-precious stones, and the button had diamond in the center. "This is the only pair we have, so buy in now or it'll be gone in an hour." She said.
"We'll take it!" cried Billy happily, sure he was going to have the most fancy pants of them all.
They paid for it, and left, meeting Dewey in the van outside.
"Did you get what you were looking for?" he asked once they got inside and were sitting down.
"Oh, yes!" he yelled, unable to keep down his excitement. "I'm gonna win for sure!"
(the Mall Of America, Minnesota, the Mr. Fancypants competition…)
"Aaaaannndddd…. Lets see all of our wonderful contestants!" the announcer called, and all of the people walked on stage.
Billy was unsurprised to see that he had better pants than most of the other people on stage, except for one guy.
His pants had precious stones. Billy's had semi-precious. His lit up. Billy's didn't. The fabric on his pants, Billy could tell, was made of real gold. Billy's were made of regular jean fabric. His had lots of chains and zippers and the like. Billy's didn't.
(later, after the judging. They are about to say the winner…)
"And the winner is…" the announcer paused.
Billy clenched his fists. Why do they always have to pause?
Grrr… he didn't win! How could they deny him the pleasure of winning when he had done everything in his power to get the best pants ever? How could they? How could they? How could they? How could they? HOW COULD THEY?
He stormed off stage, tears threatening to fall. He looked back at the kid claiming the trophy, blinking back the tears. His trophy. It should've been his. Yes, it should have been his.
"Hey, Fancypants. It's alright," Dewey patted him on the back.
"No! It is NOT alright!" Billy pushed his hand away. "Don't call me that anymore! I'm not worthy of the title!"
Billy stormed off into the sea of cheering people, and soon was lost from sight.
So, yeah. That's pretty much it. By the way, no Billy does not run away forever, he just left to go calm down. Hey, you know what? You know what! I gives yous cookieses ifs yous reviewses! Is a shiny button, yes? You like the shiny... quick! PRESS THE SHINY!