A/N: Skip this chapter if you have the same attention span as baby Ceodore. It's not important. It's just Rydia rambling on and not getting to the good part. Don't worry, next chapter she'll get what's coming to her. Heh.

CHAPTER 1: Rydia forgets who she's talking to…

Hi there! It's me, Rydia. Do you want me to tell you a story? …? Too bad. I'm going to tell you the popular new story called Charlie's Ultimate Dissidia 012.

Charlie is a fictional character in a story about a fictional world called Earth. Yes, it's the same name as our planet, but we're also known as "The Blue Planet." The story of this alternate world was written by an unknown bard in Damcyan. He's created a collection of novels and lore books and a few top-40 musical hits for the Charlie series.

The Charlie character has a lot of fanboys and fangirls all over the world, so it's no surprise that some kid from Mysidia has written a fan-fic crossover of Charlie and Dissidia. By the way, all of the above is public domain because we don't have a concept of "intellectual property." Not while I'm still Ambassador, anyway. Shhh! I have would-be celebrity heroes and a global economy to protect.

And remember, Dissidia is fiction too. It is not canon to our reality, nor the reality of any other planet in the universe for that matter. The heroes are real, the stories are fake.

You could say that we live in a time where history is being written about the heroes who saved the world. Sure, some day in the far future we heroes might be reduced down to just myths.

But let's be clear. Dissidia is not history in the making. It's more like fantasy football, or celebrity smack-down. Also it is not myth. It's just too soon for that. Like 4000 years too soon if you ask me. Granted, Dissidia may mistakenly skew the history books in the future and eventually create or influence myth.

Anyhoo. I talk too much. Ceodore, you're only like, one year old; I totally didn't need to give you all this exposition. You just wanna hear about the swords and magic, don't you? Okay, but remember, this isn't a straight-up story. It's like a story within a story, or like an outer-worldly perspective on an already fictional story. You following me?

Shit! I'm doing it again!