Summary: "Who'd want me as a flatmate?" "You're the second person to say that to me today."

A/N: Based off of a tumblr artist 'what if' of John having Jim as a roomie instead of Sherlock. Please pardon my Americanisms if any pop up, I do try and edit them out during the writing process. Thank you and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my dvds.


He hates him.

So it's an impossible situation really, John decides as he comes upon the scene; a maniac with a gun and his flatmate on the opposite side of its barrel. So imagine how strange he feels when he swiftly pulls his gun and deposits a bullet in said maniac's brain. The body hits the floor and he has to step over a pool of blood to get to the suited man standing there.

Dark pools filled with an odd manic fondness greet him, and a smile not unlike a shark's says 'good job' where lips won't. He embraces the expertly dressed man even as he cringes in fear of wrinkles.

After, he spends two days locked in his room agonizing over every detail. His heart racing every time his finger squeezes the trigger; saving a life and ending another.

By the end of them he is left with an unshaven chin and nothing to explain his reactions.

Its four more days of moping until he realizes that what he's feeling; isn't guilt or remorse.

The next morning he finds his flatmate in the kitchen, draped in a chair and pouring over a map. He takes in the sight of the other man and finally puts a name to the feeling he has.


"You killed someone for Me." he says when John sits and pours himself a cup of tea.

"How was it?"

When he looks up those eyes are boring into him, taking in everything and knowing the answer almost immediately.

"I want to help." He says instead and it feels natural when Jim slides the map over and begins explaining the details of his next crime. When he finishes he points to an x on the paper and John knows that it's him who'll be carrying it out. He doesn't argue with the plan.

"Terrible." he says finally, sipping his tea. He swallows the lie and the hot liquid as a chaser. When he sits the cup down Jim is laughing and somehow the sound is comforting in its own way.

He finds himself joining the psychopath, their chuckles filling the silent flat.

And just like that, 'the Colonel' is born.