Author's Note: If you're not currently familiar with Map Crunch, consider yourself lucky. I played that thing for four hours straight and had two nervous breakdowns in between. Somehow I did manage to make it to the airport and it was extremely satisfying but I'm never playing that stupid thing again. If you want to keep your sanity, play at your own risk! (If you have a Tumblr, you've probably heard of this game. If you don't have a Tumblr, you probably have not.) It's just supposed to be silly so please don't take this story too seriously. I just wrote it for fun and I thought I would post it here in case someone else could find the humor in it. That is all. :)
After waiting almost 20 minutes for her husband to return to the platform with those results she needs, Angela decides to go look for him. Knowing him, he's been sidetracked by something. When she doesn't find him in Brennan's office, she returns to hers. He's there, and Sweets is there too. They're staring at the computer screen and arguing. Angela wonders what has them both so distracted.
"What are you two doing?" she asks.
They hardly turn around.
"We're playing Map Crunch," Sweets says.
She holds her clipboard to the side and walks over to them. "What's Map Crunch?"
"Trust me," Hodgins says. "You do not want to know."
Of course now she wants to know more than ever. Sweets turns around to show his acknowledgment and then turns back to the computer. "It's just this website that drops you into a random place in the world. It's not that interesting really. But there's this meme going around on the internet where you're supposed to drop yourself into some place without knowing where you're going and then find your way to the airport."
Angela stares at the computer screen. "That's supposed to be fun?"
"No," Sweets shakes his head. "It's not supposed to be fun at all. That's why people do it."
"Hmm. Sounds kind of pointless."
"Oh, it is."
"And impossible," Hodgins groans. He holds his hand up to the screen and scowls. "We've been trying to get out of this field for like half an hour. I think we're going in circles. I don't even know what country we're in!"
"Here, let me see that," Angela says, setting her clipboard down on the desk and motioning for Hodgins to let her take his seat. When he moves aside and she sits, she cracks her fingers. She knows a little bit about geography and she's certain she can get the boys out of this mess. "Did you already go down this road?"
FOUR HOURS LATER.
"What does that sign say?"
"I don't know!" Hodgins sighs. "I don't speak foreign."
"I think we're going the right way," Angela assures them. "Look. I've never seen that building before."
Cam walks in. Dr. Brennan is following close behind. "Excuse me," she says. "What is everyone doing in here? You're supposed to be out there solving this case."
"Dr. Brennan!" Sweets greets, ignoring Cam. "Do you speak Thai?"
The anthropologist walks over and glances at the computer screen, not understanding why that would be important now. "I can say goodmorning and ask how someone is in Thai. I can also name the skull and a few of the ribs. Why does that matter?"
"Yes," Cam scowls. "Why does that matter?"
"We're in Thailand," Sweets continues, pointing to the computer and once again ignoring Cam. "But we don't know how to read any of the signs and we're lost. We're trying to find the airport."
"You're in Thailand?"
"We're playing Map Crunch," Hodgins explains.
"What is Map Crunch? I've never heard of this game."
"You three are not supposed to be playing games," Cam cries. "You're supposed to be out there solving a murder! And Sweets, you're not even supposed to be here."
"It's not really a game," Angela replies. "It's just a stupid website. You drop yourself into a random spot on the planet and you have to find your way back to the airport. It would be a lot easier if we knew someone who spoke Thai. We're been driving on this highway for hours."
"You're not actually in Thailand, you're in your office," Brennan replies. But, instead of telling them to get back to work, she leans over. "However, I do know how to read a little bit of Thai. Perhaps I could help. "
"Dr. Brennan!" Cam groans, exasperated.
"What? Did you want to try first?"
Cam sighs. "No! I don't want to play first. I want you all to get back to work."
"Oh! Wait. I think I see a sign with an airplane on it. Is that an airplane?"
"That does appear to resemble an airplane," Brennan nods.
"That's the best news I've heard all day," Sweets says, smiling.
Angela moves out of her seat and allows Brennan to sit. "Here, Sweetie. You give it a shot. You can probably figure out which exit we need to take."
"The only exiting that needs to be done here is that webpage," Cam scolds.
"Hey, Bones! I been looking all over for you," Booth says, walking into the office. "What are you guys doing? Oh, hey, is that Map Crunch? You guys played that thing too?"
"We're in Thailand," Sweets, Hodgins, Angela and Brennan say together.
"Oh man!" Booth laughs, bouncing over to the computer and leaning over their shoulders. "You know I got an e-mail about that thing yesterday. I tried to do it this morning but I gave up after an hour. I think I was in Romania."
"Do I need to fire you all?" Cam asks, tiredly.
"Hey, Dr. Saroyan," Hodgins says, turning to her. "If you wanted a turn, all you had to do was ask."