DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS IT ALL!
"You know I can't stay." I said and he just sighed. This was not something new.
"No?" I questioned.
"No. I am getting tired of this. I thought maybe it was just because this was new and that maybe you needed time to adjust to this. Now, it is just ridiculous." He said and pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he had when he was angry.
"You know..." I began.
"I do and that is why I gave you even more time. I though maybe, just maybe, if I gave you space that you would be ok." He sighed again. I hated doing this. I hated doing this to him.
"Just give me a little bit more?" I asked, hoping to put this conversation off for a few more weeks. I really did enjoy my time with him. I knew, going into this that this would eventually become a problem. This was why I never had relationships last longer than a few months. I was now into my 8th month with him. He was so different and understanding. I wanted to get over my fear for him but, I still felt that panic that was pushing me closer and closer to the door.
"How long?" He asked, staring right at me.
"I don't know. Do you want an exact date?" I asked becoming more defensive as the panic was taking over me.
"Yes. I do. I need to know." He looked so sad and defeated. He knew I couldn't give him that and he knew that this would mean the end of us.
"You know I can't do that." I was now on the verge of tears. I knew that this fear was completely irrational. I also knew that in order for me to ever have a real relationship with someone that this was a fear I needed to get past.
"That's the upsetting part. Have you ever tried?" He now stood up and came over to where I was pacing. I was amazed that there wasn't a hole in the carpet. I had been pacing for quite sometime.
"Yes." I said, once again getting defensive.
"With me?" He clarified.
"No." I said looking down.
"Well won't you at least try before ending everything?" He asked picking up my chin so that I couldn't avoid his eyes.
"What if it goes bad?" I asked him. " Because I don't think I could handle that. The last time I did..." I said
"The last time you weren't with me. In answer to your other question, if it goes bad that is something we can work on but, at least try. That's all I am asking." The look he had on his face made me want to cry more.
"I think I should just go." I said, even though my mind was screaming at me 'You irrational fool! You are being a huge baby and need to grow up. Just because it went wrong with a few others doesn't mean it will with him. Think about how much you love him. You know what this means if you walk out!'
"Ok." He replied and I headed to walk out of his apartment.
The moment I left I felt as if I couldn't breathe and was sobbing uncontrollably. I made it to my car before I realized that I was a complete and total idiot. I then ran back and entered the code to get into the building as quickly as I could. The elevator was not moving fast enough and I kept hitting the button until I was out and on the right floor. I ran to his door and pounded on it. I was terrified that he wouldn't answer it.
As soon as he opened the door, his mouth fell open. I took advantage of him being in shock and jumped on him. I kissed him with as much love as I could.
"I'm an idiot. I am an immature idiot. I am..." He then silenced me with another kiss.
"I take it this means yes" He smiled as he carried me to the bedroom.
"Yes." I replied.
"Yes what?" He asked, a smug smile on his face.
"Yes I will stay over tonight but, I am warning you that I have to get up quite ea..." I started.
"No. I called Alice and had her cancel your day for tomorrow." He was still wearing that same smirk.
"Oh. So you knew that I would come running back?" I asked, trying to look completely serious with him.
"No. I talked to Alice before you came over tonight. I had hoped that you would agree and if not you would have had the day off from work. Alice is going to take all the meetings by herself. She said it was no problem and that it was 'beyond time that you got over this silly fear', her words not mine." He explained.
"Well I am warning you that I am a cover hog and that I like to cuddle." I said while still maintaining my serious face. I was honestly amazed I had lasted this long.
"Not a problem because I happen to have a ton of extra covers and I too love to cuddle." He said and gently laid me on to his bed.
"You do know that I did not come prepared to spend the night right?" I asked him with a smile on my face. The panic was no where to be found. I think I finally realized that life without him was far more terrifying than spending the night at a boyfriend's place. Before this night, I knew that my fear was silly and irrational but, I couldn't help it. I had tried to with almost every other boyfriend that I had thought I loved. It never turned out well. It ended with me leaving an apology note on the pillow and driving home at three in the morning. That was how the majority of my relationships ended. Tonight was different. I knew that I would make it through the night. I would probably still get up at seven in the morning but, that was a habit of mine anyway.
"Well as it just so happens, I have an extra t-shirt that you could wear and sweatpants if you would like them." He said while walking to the dresser and grabbing those items for me.
"And what about a toothbrush?" I asked with a smile.
"I happen to have a new toothbrush as well as a tube of toothpaste just for you." He replied and the smirk reappeared on his face.
"I guess you thought of everything." I said as I slipped on the t-shirt and sweatpants.
"I also happen to have your shampoo, conditioner, and soap." I laughed.
"Thank you." I said and kissed him yet again.
"You're welcome." He said as he turned off the lights and climbed into bed with me.
"What are you doing?" I asked him.
"I'm holding onto you, that way you won't run away in the night." He said and tightened his grip on my waist.
"I love you Edward." I sighed and cuddled into him more.
"I love you too Bella." He said and placed a quick sweet kiss on my neck.
I woke the next morning and felt around for Bella. I panicked when I couldn't find her and in her place was a giant empty space on my bed. I became disappointed. At least she had tried.
I was trying to figure out where we went from there when the love of my life came into the room with a tray full of hot and delicious looking food.
"You're up!" She said and looked so excited.
"I am and did you have a sleep ok?" I said and relaxed.
"I did, actually I slept great and didn't wake up once. This morning, you thought I left didn't you?" She smiled at me.
"Maybe." I smiled back and as soon as she set a plate on my nightstand and a plate on her nightstand I pulled her back into bed with me.
"Understandable. However I believe I have mentioned that I am an early riser." She responded.
"True but, my version of early is ten." I laughed and held her closer, if that was even possible.
"I usually wake up around seven. I did today and saw that you were sound asleep. I decided to make breakfast." She smiled.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"Around eight." She replied.
"Eight and I am up this early on my day off from work? This is just wrong." I was frowning. This was way too early.
"In order to make up for getting up so early, and since we both have the day off from work, why don't we have a day in bed?" Bella was a genius.
"That sounds like the perfect day to me." I smiled and tackled her. I showered her with kisses and showed her just how much I loved her.
"Ok, ok enough already. The food is getting cold." She laughed and pushed me away.
"This is the best morning ever. I love you." I said and gave her one quick kiss before diving into my food. "And thank you for an amazing breakfast." I added.
"You're welcome and I love you too." She responded. "Thank you for pushing me at the right time and for giving me time when I needed it." She gave me the world's biggest smile. I knew then that this was going to be the girl that I married. I would just have to slowly get her used to that idea too. I think I might start planting the idea today.
AN: I know that I have other stories that need to be done but this was a one shot that just would not get out of my head. Also right now I am facing an enormous case of writer's block on my other stories. Plus it is a very stressful time right now. I thought this might help both and it has a bit. I have part of another chapter written for A Little Twisted. Please READ AND REVIEW that would be amazing right now and might just make my day. Also constructive criticism only! Thanks!