Pairing: Shane/Lem

Warnings: none

Notes: For grlkat for helping me plot this out.


It seems like they all come out whenever he's around just to mock him with what he can't have. He's in a park, so he really should have expected them to be here too, but it still is unpleasant to be faced with them. Happy families with children running around, laughing and playing on the playground. There's even a few pregnant mothers sitting on the benches, watching their toddler closely as they play.

He wants a family so much. He wants a little kid or two running around the house. He even wanted the late nights spent pacing the floors with a newborn, the parent-teacher conferences in later years. He wanted the restaurant tantrums, the exhaustion that came with it. He wanted the joy and sense of pride at their accomplishments.

Shane, though. He could never have that with Shane. They were too unstable for that. Too many fights and arguments and walk outs. Too many late nights spent wondering if Shane was coming home or if he was in the arms of someone else. He isn't going to bring a child into that life. A life of pain and heartache. They didn't deserve that. Nothing so innocent ever deserved that.

He walks slowly out of the park, heading back home, wondering if Shane was there. He could always leave Shane. Find a nice girl to settle down with, maybe even fall in love with her and they could have kids. They could be happy. He shakes his head, a bitter smile on his face. He'd never be happy without Shane, no matter what hell they put each other through.

Shane is home when he gets there and he greets Lem with a kiss. He notes the tension filling Lem's body and gets him a beer while he drops down onto the sofa with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" Shane asks, popping the cap off his own beer and taking a swig.

"Nothing." Lem shakes his head and takes a slow sip of his beer.

"Talk to me. We never talk anymore." Shane insists.

Lem looks over at him for a moment before sighing again. "I was at the park today and I want a kid."

"Being at the park made you want a kid?" Shane blinks in confusion.

"No, but seeing all the happy moms and dads with their children did, but I know we're not going to have kids." Lem gulps down half his beer.

"Why do you say that?" Shane asks, setting his beer down on the coffee table.

"Come on, Shane. Look at us. We fight too much, leave too much, and we're just not a couple, not really, and we're definitely not a couple that has kids." Lem laughs hollowly.

"I am surprised that you have so little faith in us." Shane says carefully.

"Why? It's not like you have any more than I do." Lem points out, draining the last of his beer.

"Apparently I do." Shane pulls the empty bottle away from Lem.

"We're not having kids." Lem says pointedly.

"Who knows?" Shane give him a mysterious smile and gets a narrowed look in return.

"Look, just know that, through it all, I love you." Shane says, serious.

"I know. I love you too. Even when it hurts." Lem smiles slightly at him, pulling him into a kiss.

They can't do without the other.