Boris the Spider Keeperoliver for Stephanie O One Shot

A/N: This is from a story by Stephanie O called 'An Attic Interlude', which was very good story. You should check it out. I asked her if I could use it for a story. I asked her if she wanted the idea first, and she backed off. So here it is. I know it's short, but It is funny. Or at least I thought so.



"Ya George."

"I'm bored."

"Me too brother. What should we do about it?"

"I think we need a good prank to break up the doldrums."

"On who do you think we should Prank."

"Come on Fred, who do we always prank when we get bored?"

"Ron's too easy Fred. Did you see the way his face changed when he put all that sugar on his roast last night? I could have died laughing it was so funny. Did you see Ginny? She didn't fall for it at all. She picked up the salt shaker and took the lid off to test it. Smart girl she is. And to top it off, she didn't tell Ronniekins."

George was laughing at the thought. Yes he had seen the same thing Fred saw. "OK, I agree he is easy, but, do you actually want to try and prank Gin-bug? Since Charlie taught her that Bat Bogie spell, she has perfected it. Right nasty bit of work."

"TOO true dear brother. That's why Ronniekins. We need the practice for when we get back to our second year. But what do you want to do? Change his hair color to green. Grow his nose hair to form a mustache. Our Passing Gas Potion. Urghh! Which do you think?"

George pondered the question for a moment, then grew an evil grin. He went to his trunk, and pulled out his potions kit. "I think we need to brew a batch of our Dream Filled Sleep Potion."

Fred looked to him for a moment and then , "What do you propose to use as the catalyst?"

"Spider webbing."

Fred grew a smile that Matched George's. "I like the way you think Brother. But I think we need more to the prank. Hold on." Fred went to his trunk, and rummaged around for a bit until he found what he was looking for. He pulled it out and laid it on the desk where George was already starting his potion. George saw what it was, and laughed when Fred cast a spell on it, and it got up and started to walk around. He watched as Fred swatted it, and it continued to walk around, not the least bit phased by being hit. Fred picked it up, and spelled it back to it's original state. It was a rubber spider.

They had been working on something they called the Extendable Ear, but it wasn't working right. However, if you put a plastic mouth at the end of it, noise could be sent through. Fred set this up, and attached the other end to a cassette player they borrowed from their dad's work shop. He went to the tapes that Lee let them borrow for the summer and found the one he wanted. They had used it for the Halloween Party at school. He pressed the play button, and a song could be heard coming from the Mouthpiece end of the line.

Boris The Spider (The Who)

Look he's crawling up my wall

Black and hairy, very small.

Now he's up above my head

Hanging by a little thread.

Boris the Spider, Boris the Spider!

Now's he dropping onto the floor

Heading for the bedroom door.

Maybe he's as scared as me.

Where's he's gone, I can't see.

Creepy Crawly, Creepy Crawly.

Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly

Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly

Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly

Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly

There he is wrapped in a ball

Doesn't seem to move at all.

Perhaps he's dead, I'll just make sure

Pick this book up off the floor

Creepy Crawly, Creepy Crawly.

Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly

Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly

Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly

Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly

He's come to a sticky end

Don't think he will ever mend

Never more will he crawl around

He's embedded into the ground.

Boris the Spider, Boris the Spider.

Fred was rolling around on the floor laughing while the song played. George would have been with him if he wasn't busy. It didn't stop him from having a good laugh though as well.

Every thing was set for the prank, as George finished the potion.


Fred set the prank up by pulling a minor spell on Ginny who was sitting next to Ron. When Ron looked up to laugh at his sister, George added the potion to his drink. Ginny saw this move, and kept Ron busy by threatening him if he didn't stop laughing. George gave her a huge grin, and she just gave her head a slight nod.

After eating, and finishing his drink, Ron began to yawn. Thinking it was all the food he just ate, he told everyone he was going to bed. He got into his sleeping clothes, and went right to sleep.

A bit later, he began having this bad dream where he was being chased by a huge spider. Of course being Ron, he always over exaggerated. He tossed and turned all night, as the dream kept returning to him.

This went on for a week, and he began looking all over when he was awake, thinking he saw something move. Ginny was watching him going crazy. She was starting to get into the prank, and decided to stir it up a little, "Hey Ron, you need to watch where you are walking. You have a spider web in your hair."

Ron began to swat at his head to get the web off. Ginny walked over to him, and pretended to pull it off for him and wiped her hands on her jeans for show. She watched as Ron went through all kinds of gyrations. The creepy feeling running up and down his back.

Ginny had to learn what the twins had planned next, so that she could be a part of it. She found them in their room sitting on their beds and talking. She told them of Ron's state of mind, and that she wanted in on the prank, as she was having fun with it.

Fred told her about the song, and she asked to hear it. Like Fred, she was rolling on the floor while listening to the song. She was joined by the twins as the song continued to play. Ginny told them that when they played the song, she would pretend not to hear it. That would add to Ron's delirium.

For the next week, Ginny did as she said, and when Ron began to look around for the source of music, Ginny would say, "What in the world are you looking for Ron?"

"Don't you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"That song. It's driving me crazy. I hear it every where, but I never find where it's coming from."

"I think it's in your head. I don't hear anything."

"Come on. You mean to tell me you can't hear that. Boris the Spider, Boris the Spider. Creepy Crawly, Creepy Crawly. Creepy Creepy, Crawly Crawly. Over and over again I hear it. I think I'm going bonkers."

"You must be, because I can't hear anything. Maybe it was something you ate."

Ron looked up when Ginny said that. "Fred and George, of course. Why didn't I think of that. Thanks Gin."

"Don't you ever call me Gin again Ron. You do, and I will introduce you to another creepy crawly."

Run shuddered just by the thought of creepy crawlies. He ran from the room to go look for the twins to get them to stop. The trouble was, they were not in the house, or in the yard. He asked his mum if she knew where they were.

"Of course I know where they are Ronald. What kind of a mother would I be, if I didn't?"

Ron waited for a moment, but it didn't look like she was going to tell him, unless he asked her, "Well, could you tell me where they are, please."

"Why are you so interested in your brothers? They are visiting Lee Jordan if you have to know."

Ron blanched at this. It can't be the twins. I must be going insane.

Ginny told the twins all about Ron's behavior while they were gone, and she handed the player back to Fred. He put it away, and pulled out the rubber spider, and charmed it to animate. He took it across the hall to Ron's room, and slipped it under the door. He listened for a minute, then it happened.

"Arhhh, A spider. Someone come help me. It's huge. Nooo, it's crawling up the wall. Some one kill it. It's crawling along the ceiling. Arghhh, it's dropped down from the ceiling, hanging from it's web."

Fred was sitting down on the floor outside of Ron's room holding back his laughing. Ginny and George looked outside the twins room to see Fred holding his hand over his mouth. Then there was another scream from Ron's Room. "HE'S DROPPED DOWN TO THE FLOOR, AND I DON'T SEE HIM ANYWHERE. WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS HE? COME ON OUT YOU BLOODY BASTARD. YOU CAN'T HIDE FOR EVER."

Whomp, whomp. "What the hell, why won't you die." Whomp, whomp, whomp. "He won't die. I can't kill it. Someone come take it away."

Ginny threw open the door to see Ron curled up in a little ball on the corner of his bed, grabbing his blanket like it was a life preserver.

She looked around to see what was bothering him. There it was. She looked up to Ron, 'You're afraid of a teensy weensy spider. Merlin Ron, show some back bone." Ginny walked over and picked up the spider and left the room. She walked across the hall and into the twins room, closed the door, and the twins set up the spells, and they all collapsed on the beds, laughing their arses off. It had been the twins longest running prank they ever performed, and they had their little evil sister to thank.


A/N: I dedicate this story to a very good friend, Stephanie O. I originally wrote it for her to post, but my PM for Yahoo has gone on the fritz. So, when she gives me the OK, I will post it. I just heard the song while listening to one of my four or five CD's. OH sorry I meant 4 or 5 dozen. LoL. I know, me and my music. Besides smoking, it is one of my habits. Neither of which is bad, in my opinion. OH, and my cussing, which I never do in front of my grand children. That could be a little bad. I like my cuss words too much. So, if you like it, thank Steph. If you don't, blame her anyway. I don't need the bad reviews. As always, Ollie the keeper.