She didn't know exactly when it started, the hero-worship of the one steady influence in her life. But she did know by the time she'd managed to crawl out of her crib, she loved him. She adored him and he loved her too, she knew he did. And by the time she was five she wanted to be just like him.
That was before she realized what that would and could mean, not just to her but to others around her. Growing up she admired him, he was after all her beloved older brother, the one who helped her with bumps and bruises. He loved her after all and she adored him. She wanted to grow up to be just like him.
The years go by and they lose not just their mother but their little sister as well. They are both devastated by the loss, but she consoles herself because she still has him and their father. Father however is growing more and more distant. When she tries to find out what is going on, her brother is the one who pulls her aside and tells her that he's no longer just their father or a leader in the Mossad, now he's an ambassador for their government and she can only stare at him in wonder.
Her brother however is going away soon, and she knows a temporary loss yet again. However he calls her once a week, telling her how happy he is at the university and that when he gets back, he'll be able to do more than just put a patch on her wounds. She agrees with her father that she wants to do more than just be a princess. She wants to follow her brother, to do more for others and her father agrees in exchange for one thing.
She doesn't realize that her soul is something that she will be asked to give up. She makes it through basic training and the wool starts being slowly stripped from her eyes. She still loves her older brother, and when their father asks her if she'd like to work more closely with him, she readily agrees. This is what she's training for, the chance to help her brother.
Then her father takes a step higher up in the government, to deputy director and while she's proud to be his daughter, her greater pride is with her brother. She's there when he receives his bachelor's degree. Soon he's telling her that one day he won't be just Ari Haswari but Dr. Ari Haswari and she beams with pride nodding her head happily as she congratulates him on the job well done.
Small details start bothering her though. He's talking about the joining the Hamas and then one day he's overseas, in America and she is being assigned as liaison to an agent from that same country. Her job however is not the same as his and she frowns when she's expected to team up with this agent. She calls Ari and he just laughs it off. He tells her that it's to be expected; after all she might come to America one day and will need to know how to speak their language as well as learn their customs.
Then it comes the day she's been training all her life for, the chance to work side by side with her brother. Only, she's not just a sister to her older brother, now she's supposed to be his handler. She's supposed to supervise the one steady influence she's had while growing up. Worse, if at all necessary she's supposed to do what she's been trained for.
Her father, their father has already told her what her next two assignments will be. One of which still has not just her head but her heart in turmoil. How can their father expect her to do that? To her brother of all people, surely he doesn't think that Ari hates him that much?
The call comes sooner than she expects and she crawls out of bed not looking forward to this assignment whatsoever. How can she believe that Ari would ever voluntarily kill someone? She'd talked to Ari about the woman he's been accused of killing. He loved this Caitlyn Todd and admired the team that she worked with. Now, according to not only their father but this Special Agent, this man Agent Gibbs is accusing Ari of murder.
She has to prove him innocent; she has to show them that this is her brother. The one she'd wanted to be like all her life. Gibbs tells her about his belief that Ari is the one who killed Kate. She looks at Jenny Shepard, the former agent, now director of NCIS, that she'd worked with in the past. Jenny tells her that if she believes that strongly about Ari's innocence to prove Gibbs wrong.
Then she overhears the conversation; the one she thought never to hear and her heart breaks as she realizes that while she'd finally achieved her goal of being like her brother, at that same time, he'd become someone she didn't want to be like. She pulls the trigger, and slowly walks down the stairs, sinking to her knees by his side as the brick wall around her heart begins its own steady rise.