"Why do you have to be such a bastard? Shuichi yelled. He was so angry he threw his coffee mug across the room. It shattered into dozens of pieces, littering the floor with porcelain and half a cup's worth of spiced chai tea.
"You missed," was all Yuki said in his normal, flat monotone, balancing a cigarette in his mouth. He didn't even look from his laptop. He just kept typing the last email hammering out the release of his new story.
"Of course I missed!" Shuichi shouted again, waving his arms randomly in frustration. "I don't want to hit you! I want you to fucking pay attention to me!" He turned Yuki's spinney chair around. Now, they were face to face, Shuichi lowering himself to Yuki's eye level. Their noses touched.
Then their lips.
Shuichi pulled back quickly; tears were in his eyes. "Eiri, I love you. But I don't know if you love me. Hell, I don't get anything from you. I don't know how you feel about anything. I need you and I love you, buts it's not enough anymore."
Shuichi picked up some random item from the table and threw it to the ground. He pulled on his jacket, not looking in Yuki's direction, because if he did, he wouldn't be able to do what he was doing.
The front door to the apartment slammed, louder than it needed to be.
Yuki pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and put it out in the ashtray. He eyed the front door for less than a minute, then went back to his new story. The first story he'd ever written about two men in love.
Shuichi sat on the roof of the apartment building. He kicked and threw various debris that was already on the roof, taking out his built up anger and frustration out on air.
After a stray rock broke a window, he lost his balance and fell to the ground. Shuichi couldn't help it; he had to cry. He had to let everything out. Such a jackass. He thought. But my jackass.
Shuichi cried for another minute or so. Then it seemed as though he had run out of tears, because he couldn't cry anymore. "That's a first," Shuichi said to himself, wiping the last few strays from the sides of his face.
He was thirsty now; all that crying left him dehydrated. Shuichi couldn't go back to the apartment; not yet. He wasn't ready.
Shuichi found himself walking down the street, where to? Who knows. A bar? He could get a drink there. Maybe, he was just walking to clear his head. It was so crowded as his insides waged a war in his mind.
It's time to leave that son-of-a-bitch.
No, I can't leave my Eiri. Not ever.
When has he ever returned my love? When does he ever show affection? I thought we had fixed all this in New York? But he's still unable to give anything back.
But that's enough. Just being with him is enough. Isn't it?
Not anymore. It can't be. I have needs too. And not just physical ones either. I need someone to be there for me emotionally. He can't even just suck it up and pretend. I'm not just a shag toy! I'm a living person with feelings and emotions! But precious Eiri Yuki doesn't understand any of that.
Stop it! Stop right now! Don't EVER think about Eiri like that again! Are you listening Shuichi? Don't EVER think about him like that again. If this conversation had taken place out loud, that last part would have been whispered.
As if his brain had suddenly been turned back on again, Shuichi was suddenly aware of his surroundings. He recognized the buildings and stores; he was heading back to the apartment.
But if he had been paying more attention, then he wouldn't have wandered into the middle of the street and he would have heard the horn. He turned too slowly and all he saw was bright lights, then darkness.
AN- This one was written for my sister, because I couldn't get her to read any of my stories, so I wrote one for her favorite ANime with her favorite couple. Take that Pey! Anyway, I have been thinking about this one for awhile. Hope you guys like it! Oh, throughut the story I use Yuki and Eiri interchangeably, thee's a literary reason behind it, just preparing you guys. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
PS- Check out some of my other stories!