Hello! I could apologize for my lack of updates but I'm sure you don't want to hear it. I've let nursing school control my life BUT the semester is almost over and I'm having to take a semester off for surgery so I WILL finish this story!
If you chose to walk away,
I'd still be right here waiting.
Searching for the things to say,
To keep you right here waiting...
My heart is beating rapidly in my chest and my palms are starting to sweat. To say I am a nervous wreck would be putting it mildly. My mind is still in shock that I asked Miley to go out for coffee, and even more so that she agreed. I walked in to The Daily Grind at ten til and was relieved that it wasn't too busy.
I knew Miley wouldn't be here yet so I ordered a latte for me and a cappuccino for her, and took a seat at a table away from other people. I nervously tapped my fingers on the table and checked my phone to see that it was six o'clock. I looked up and still didn't see any sign of Miley. My heart began to beat faster, if that was even possible at this point, and negative thoughts ran through my mind. What if Miley wasn't coming? Did she only agree so I would leave her alone?
I didn't realize I was staring at the table until I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up to see Miley standing there awkwardly. I took a moment longer to study her face; her eyes were still the beautiful shade of slate-blue I remember and her long brown hair fell in waves past her shoulders. Then I noticed her lips, and instantly missed how they felt on mine. Trying to ease the tension I offered her the seat across from me. She accepted and sat in front of her cappuccino.
"Is this mine?" She asked, gesturing towards the drink.
I nodded in response, "I figured I would go ahead and order for you, it's cappuccino."
Her face light up and she smiled, "My favorite!"
"I remembered," I said, smiling to her. Our eyes locked and I could see that she was having some sort of internal struggle with herself. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable, I looked away.
"So how was your tour?" I asked, trying to make conversation.
"It was pretty busy, honestly. I didn't have much time to myself at all. I did get to go to some pretty cool places though," She said.
I remembered Oliver saying that Miley was in London, where I know she had always wanted to go, but I couldn't tell her he had told me that. "Sounds great," I said nervously.
Miley rubbed the back of her neck and stared idly at her drink. I could tell that she was starting to feel uncomfortable. She looked up to speak but when she opened her mouth, she didn't say anything. Our eyes met again and this time neither of us looked away. I could see my reflection in her eyes, but behind that, I could see the hurt and confusion that I had caused her.
I didn't think I'd have more than one chance to get her back so I took a breath and spoke, "Miley, I-."
"I can't do this with you again Lilly," She said, interrupting me and shattering all illusions of hope in my mind.
I was somewhat shocked by her bluntness, but then again, Miley never was one for beating around the bush. "Why not?" I asked.
The question floated around in my mind and Miley looked as if she was searching for an answer to it. Her eyes were shiny and I realized that she was close to tears. I didn't look away from her, still waiting for her to say something. Miley glanced down at her hands and then up at me again and I could see that a tear had pooled and was waiting to drop down her cheek. I immediately wanted to wipe the tear away before it could fall but decided that it wouldn't be a good idea.
"I just..." Miley started, wiping the tear away before it fell down her face. "I just can't," She said, standing up and making her way to the door.
I almost couldn't believe what was happening. It took my brain a second to register that the love of my life was walking away. It took my brain even less time to tell my legs to move as fast as they could to stop that from happening. I nearly ran out the door to catch up to her. I spotted her almost to her car at the end of the block.
"Miley wait!" I called. Miley didn't turn around to see me running up to her, but she did stop.
When I got up to her she finally turned around. "It's not gonna happen Lilly. Just drop it," She said, holding back more tears.
I was on the verge of anger; knowing that even though she was trying to act like she didn't care, I knew she did by the look in her eyes. "Quit fighting so fucking hard against this," it sort of came out as an angry plea but I was beyond control of my emotions.
"You broke my heart," Miley responded back with equal intensity. The venom in her tone and in her words stung my heart like a snake bite.
The watering of my eyes spilled over and ran down my cheeks. Hearing her say those words hurt me to the very core. "I know. And I'm sorry. I wish I was able to show you how much I truly mean that. I broke my own heart when I hurt you. But I promise Miley, I will never EVER hurt you again. Just give me one chance to prove it," I begged, sincerely meaning every word.
Miley stood there in silence and I let myself begin to get my hopes up that she was really considering to give me another chance.
And if I chose to walk away,
Would you be right here waiting?
Searching for the things to say,
To keep me right here waiting...
What do I do? This girl, the girl I was so in love with, is standing in front of me begging for another chance. Do I say yes; just cave in so easily after everything I've overcome? Or do I turn around and walk away from everything we had? Why is everything so hard and every choice seems like the wrong one?
I looked up at Lilly to see her staring back at me, obviously waiting for me to say something. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't ready to make such a big decision on demand. My head felt like it was spinning and I might pass out. My eyes locked with Lilly's and I could see all of her emotions displayed before me. I needed more time to think about it.
"I'll call you later," I said, getting in my jeep and leaving Lilly standing there with a shocked and somewhat apprehensive look on her face. I couldn't hardly believe I'd said it either.
I drove at an almost illegal speed all the way home. When I pulled in my driveway I sat idly staring at my steering wheel. I went through a lot of pain and grief while I was on tour but yet something kept me from pulling away from Lilly. Its like my heart is made of metal and Lilly is a magnet. I finally got out of my vehicle and walked inside. I was greeted by my dad in the kitchen.
"Where did you go bud?" He asked, looking concerned as usual.
I let out a long sigh, knowing that there would be no sense in lying. "I ran into Lilly when I went to get groceries and we met for coffee," I explained.
Daddy's face shone deep concern. "Miley why didn't you tell m? Are you okay?" He questioned.
"Yes daddy I'm fine. And I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry," I answered.
Dad motioned for us to sit down at the table. I sat down opposite of him and stared at my hands. "So what happened when you met for coffee?"
I filled my dad in on everything that happened, from our conversation in the store to me telling Lilly I'd call her. He sat quietly and listened to me. When I was finished with my story I looked to see if he was going to say anything.
"Are you going to call her?" He asked.
I shrugged my shoulders, "What do you think I should do?"
"I can't make this decision for you bud, only you can. Listen to your heart. You know I'll always stand behind you," He encouraged.
I just nodded and excused myself to go to my room. I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. "Listen to my heart," I repeated out loud. What does that even mean? What if my heart takes me down the wrong path? I reached in my pocket and got my phone out. I looked through my contacts until my thumb hovered over Lilly's name. I quickly made my decision, knowing there was no turning back now, and clicked on her name.
Three rings before an answer, "Hello?"
But you always find a way,
To keep me right here waiting...
Song: "Right Here" by Staind
AN: I know it's not a very long chapter but it was kind of hard to get back in the swing of things. I promise not to let this story go unfinished. I hope you enjoyed. I hope to start writing on the next chapter immediately and have another chapter up before my Thanksgiving break is up! Reviews are always appreciated :)