AN: A soliloquy by Anakin Skywalker set in the Clone Wars episode entitled: Deception, where Obi Wan is "dead".
"Do you remember when I was little? I was only nine when I first became your Padawan, and you had absolutely no idea what to make of me. You'd just lost your father and I'd lost my mother and all hope for the future. You turned to me and told me that you would make me a Jedi. You promised me, and I thought that would be all I'd need you for. You weren't my mother and you weren't Qui Gon. You were the slightly snobby side kick to my hero and you thought I was 'dangerous'. I sometimes wonder if you still think that.
But I guess it'd be 'thought' now, seeing as how you're dead.
I am sorry for that. I should have protected you, should have been there. I promised myself, after my mother breathed her last in my arms, that no one else I cared about would die before their time. And I did care about you, whether you knew that or not, because you became so much more than my Master.
You were always patient, even if in the beginning you were a bit cold towards me. But who could blame you? You were suffering and according to the Jedi, you weren't supposed to be feeling anything. Ever. But you did, I know you did. You grieved. I couldn't blame you for being cold towards me during that time. I grew to respect you, to admire your strength and your endless kindness. I never let you know that. Given the way I acted during my teenage years and even during my knighthood, I doubt you had any inkling that I looked up to you. That I admired you in any way. You didn't understand that I was arrogant because I wanted people to think that I was as good as you...to think that I was better then you.
You were the shining example, the role model of the Jedi Order. You were my personal moral compass, that's why I couldn't ever share the darker things I'd done with you. I never really listened to your guidance though, and now I wish I had because if the situation were reversed (and how I wish it was) you would know what to do. You'd be grieved I think, but you would know what to do with it. You would know how to move on.
I have no idea.
What am I supposed to do now, Obi Wan? What the kriffin' hell am I supposed to do now?"
Anakin Skywalker stared at the body of his former Master for a moment, surprised at himself for even speaking the words to Obi Wan, who would no longer be able to hear him. Who would never be able hear him ever again. He spun away from the lifeless body as warm moisture welled up in his eyes. Had he looked back, he might have seen a tear make it's way down the dead man's cheek.
AN: Just a little oneshot, really an attempt at straight up angst. Please review to tell me how I did. I got the idea from a Supernatural episode. My best friend told me to check that show out, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it...It's a little creepy.