This just popped into my head. A niggling little what-if. I don't know if I'll even continue it. But I had to write it. I hope you like it. There is one more chapter for sure, beyond that, no promises. :)
Roxanne walks calmly down the prison corridor toward the special supervillain cell that had been Megamind's since a few years after his first adult conviction. Her heels tap along the grey floor, her spine straight. She stoically ignores the cat-calls of the other inmates as she passes them. The prison won't remove Megamind from his special cell even for visitors, so she has become used to this routine. The guards have already searched her thoroughly and cleared her reluctantly. They resent her visits, knowing, but unable to prove, that she uses them to pass him what he needs to escape. The law will not allow even a supervillain to be denied visitation indefinitely, and they've never been able to prove conclusively that she is the source of the technically advanced contraband that always seems to find its way into his hands and circumvent the increasingly advanced countermeasures they've been forced to add to his cell. They'd delayed her request for a week this time, but had finally been forced to allow her in. She has half an hour.
The warden falls into step beside her, "Good afternoon, Ma'am."
"Hello James," she answers, deliberately using his first name, even though he's told her many times that he prefers her to address him formally ever since she'd become involved with him. "How is he today?"
"Smug," he answers. "He knows you're coming."
"Don't try anything. We'll be monitoring you constantly," he warns her, knowing that it wouldn't make any difference.
"You always do," she answers.
"We'll catch you one of these times," he tells her. "Don't think we don't know what you're doing. You're both villains. One of these days the charges will stick and you'll get your very own cell just like his."
"Why, James, I don't know what you mean. You know I've never been convicted of anything more serious than a traffic violation in my life."
She smiles pleasantly, but doesn't answer. They've come to the door of Megamind's cell. The warden nods to the guard at the adjacent station who stands and draws his taser. So does the guard that had accompanied them through the corridor.
The warden toggles a switch on the control console which causes the iris on the round window to the cell door to open. Then he pushes a button for the intercom. "Megamind," he barks, "She's here. Stand by the far wall so I can send her in."
"About time," the blue man mutters as he swaggers across the short space to the indicated position. He spreads his arms and places his hands against the concave surface of the wall without being told. He knows the routine.
Seeing the alien cooperate, the warden types a code into the keypad beside the door and swipes a keycard. He leans in towards an optical scanner, which verifies his identity by the unique pattern of his iris. Then he says, "James Marshall." The security device beeps in acknowledgement of his authorization. A hiss, a clunk, and several mechanical clicks are heard before the cell door unseals. Roxanne pulls it open herself and steps inside. It clanks closed and reseals behind her almost immediately.
James Warden watches as the two embrace, beaming at each other despite being locked together in a maximum security cell. The only time the villain smiles like that is when he's with her. He suspects she's the only thing on this planet that makes him truly happy. James remembers when the two had first started dating. It had shocked the city that she would become involved with her late boyfriend's murderer. She'd faced such hatred from the citizens that it was a wonder she hadn't fled the city. Instead she'd stood right by him, trying her damndest to convince people that he was a good man underneath.
But it didn't work. His heroics were seen as nothing but him looking after his own self-interest. He'd merely defeated a rival villain for control of his city, something any competent Evil Overlord would do. He did rescue Roxanne, but even villains were known to go out of their way to protect their girlfriends and families, so there was little to redeem him in that. He got the city cleaned up and running smoothly again remarkably fast, but what Overlord wouldn't do the same thing? A healthy city is more valuable than a wrecked one.
The most damning problem of all was the murder of Metro Man. When Wayne Scott rejoined the land of the living a few weeks after Titan's defeat, James had thought the worst of Megamind's troubles were behind him. But Mr. Scott didn't become Metro Man again. He moved back into his Mansion but only picked up half of his old life. The half of him that was the hero stayed dead. He did his best to become just another random citizen under the rule of his Overlord. He wouldn't lift a superpowered finger to depose his former rival and was even spotted occasionally chatting with the blue man as if they were old chums.
That outraged the public. They'd been tricked and abused, and someone had to pay for that. The clear choices were Wayne Scott or Megamind. Or both. That's when the former hero finally threw Megamind under the proverbial bus. Under pressure to return to protection work or risk legal action, he took up the cape again and his first assignment was to overthrow the Overlord and return him to prison where he belonged. The city leaders demanded he do it immediately, without delay, and wouldn't accept anything less than instant compliance. They were too afraid that Megamind would evade capture if he caught wind of Metro Man's resurrection. So, that's just what Metro Man did. He tore Megamind right from Roxanne's bed not two minutes after he was given his orders and flew him to the prison gate bare-assed and livid. James had never seen his charge so furious.
Fifteen minutes later, Roxanne marched into his office, demanding Megamind's release. She'd obviously thrown her clothes on as quickly as possible and headed straight to the prison right after Wayne left. Her hair was wild and she was wearing house slippers instead of shoes. Despite her disheveled appearance, she was one scary lady.
The newly reinstated Metro Man was still in James' office signing some paperwork when she'd arrived. She actually tried to slap the hero in the face when she saw him, a move he'd dodged easily. Then she'd lit into him like James had never seen anyone do before or since. She'd actually made the invulnerable man retreat from the intensity of her verbal onslaught. Wayne Scott stubbornly insisted that Megamind belonged in prison. He had 87 life sentences and was too dangerous to go free. When it became obvious that the hero would not submit to her demands, she swore vehemently that "If you ever lay so much as a finger on Megamind again, Wayne Scott, I will personally see you dead. Do you understand me? I will go back to the evil lair and I swear to God I won't rest until I've found some way to kill you." Despite the impossibility of the task, James believed her in a way he'd never believed Megamind when he'd made the exact same claim. After she'd left, he'd asked Metro Man if he wanted to press charges against her. She had made a credible threat to his life. Metro Man had refused, saying, "Naw, Roxie's just upset. She'll cool down later."
As usual, Megamind soon escaped, only to be hauled back in again by Metro Man a few days later. He hadn't even been causing trouble at the time. That second arrest ended Megamind's flirtation with being a good guy and marked Roxanne's descent into villainy. But they had been smarter about it than Megamind had ever been alone. Roxanne always keeps to the shadows in a support role, while Megamind and Minion do the showy, face-to-face part of their villainy. Megamind is arrested regularly and just as regularly escapes, sometimes with help and sometimes without. Minion usually isn't arrested at all because the police know that he'll just be out in 24-hours. Legally, Minion is an animal and cannot be charged with a crime. His owner is responsible for any crimes he might commit. As long as he escapes being labeled a vicious animal, he can do whatever he wants to and the law can't touch him. Roxanne has no such protection, but does have the most expensive lawyer in the state on retainer to make certain that nothing ever sticks. She has spent time behind bars, but only while awaiting trial. The only thing they've ever managed to convict her of were several counts of driving an invisible car, which is only illegal because both the plates and safety lights can't be seen by other motorists.
Despite her lack of convictions, there isn't really any doubt that she's on Megamind's team now. Together the two have become a much sharper thorn in the hero's side than Megamind had ever been alone. Megamind's almost-wins are far more frequent and successful than they'd ever been before. Now citizens run from Megamind's attacks when they used to simply move back and boo.
If only Wayne Scott hadn't chosen to return. Or if they'd all decided to just move away. All of them are too stubborn for their own good and the city is paying the price for their pride.
Inside the cell, the couple stands together for a long moment just holding each other, their eyes closed and their faces turned into the crook of the other's neck. They pull back a bit, looking into each other's eyes with idiotic grins on their faces. Megamind crushes her lips to his enthusiastically, before grabbing her around the waist and spinning her in a circle. "They finally let you in!" he laughs.
His excitement is infectious and she laughs right along with him. "Of course they did. They can't keep me away from you forever." She kisses him back and the two walk arm in arm over to his chair. He sits first and she settles into his lap. She removes her pumps, surreptitiously sliding a finger beneath the lining of the heel to remove a glowing blue object the size and shape of a sugar cube and skillfully palms it. She tosses the shoes carelessly to the floor and curls her legs up into the chair. They spend a few minutes kissing and cuddling, which covers her as she passes the dehydrated item into his hand. He makes it vanish as soon as she passes it to him.
"So, are they taking good care of my incredibly handsome husband? How are you doing?"
"Wonderfully, my dear. You know, I think incarceration has been good for me. I'm a changed man. I'm ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen." He raises his voice slightly, "Isn't that right Warden?"
"Can it, Megamind," a slightly tinny voice comes in over the intercom system, "You're a villain and you'll always be a villain. You'll never change. And you'll never leave."
"Oh, how do you even say that with a straight face?" he asks, laughing. "I'll leave whenever I want to." Then he lowers his voice again. "How's Minion?"
"He's fine. Worried about you. But what else is new? Oh! My sister called me last week."
"And what did she want? Still hoping you'll break my evil mind control and rejoin honest society?"
"Not everything we talk about has to do with you, Mr. Super-Ego. She just wanted to tell me that she made an offer on that house on 17th Street she was looking at. It has 4 bedrooms and they were only asking 62K for it because it's a foreclosure. She offered 56. Or was it 58? I don't remember. Anyway, you should see it. I don't know why she needs something that big when she only has one kid. I think she could get away with something half that size, but it is nice. It's about 30 years old and in great shape. New roof, siding. They'd replaced eight of the windows and both garage doors."
He nods almost imperceptibly, memorizing the numbers she'd given him and applying the appropriate pre-arranged decryption code to them. "It sounds like she caught quite a break," he answers.
"It sure seems like it. I hope nothing goes wrong."
"What could go wrong? Buying a house is so very routine. Don't worry, it'll work out fine."
She sighs and sinks into his chest, "I hope you're right." She lowers her voice and whispers, "I miss you."
He kisses her on top of the head and whispers, "I miss you too."
Outside, the warden speaks to the guard, "There's no way they're talking about her sister's house-hunting. That has to be a code, but damned if I know what those numbers mean."
"Should we pull her out of there?"
"No. There's nothing definitive. Maybe they'll give themselves away if we keep watching."
Inside, Roxanne is telling Megamind about what's been going on at home during his absence. "The spiderbot got out again last night," she tells him, "It took us three hours to track him down. In the end we found him hanging back in the rafters pretending he'd never left. He even changed his log records to hide his little adventure."
"But that didn't fool you?" he smirks.
"You know he's a bad liar. And he didn't get the brainbots to cover for him this time," she explains. She knows his creatures' little tricks at least as well as he does.
"He wasn't spotted was he?"
"Not so far as I can tell. He knows how to stay hidden. I'm not sure what he does when he gets out."
Megamind smiles and shakes his head. "I think he just gets lonely," he offers. "The brainbots all have each other to play with, but the spe-ider bot's not a brainbot. He doesn't really fit in with them. Maybe I should rebuild one of the older robots to give him some company. Perhaps the scorpion bot?"
"I liked that one. It was kind of pretty. Oh, I probably didn't tell you. 498 went berserk again last week. We decided to break down and replace his entire cortex. The way he was, he was liable to hurt someone and the patches just weren't solving the problem."
"That's always a big job. Did Minion have any trouble?"
"Nope," she smiles smugly, "Because he didn't do it. I did."
"Well, he supervised. But, basically. I also gave him a couple new data ports and increased his memory while I was in there. He'll be like a brand-new bot once the um..." she pauses, aware that the walls have ears. So far she's only been relaying normal domestic activities for their strange little family. The equivalent of sharing what the kids have been up to while Daddy was away. She hadn't said anything that would give away any secrets. However, she had been about to talk about the tissue grafts used in the bot's bio circuitry, something that would rather obviously point to the brainbot's being cybernetic rather than, as is generally assumed, merely sophisticated AIs. Instead, she just says, "Well, you know…"
He nods, "I'm sure he'll like that. You're becoming quite the brainbot technician. You might be getting better at it than Minion."
"That's what he told me."
"I came up with a new evil plan last night."
Her eyes widen, and she looked pointedly toward the door.
"Oh, don't worry, it is entirely legal and has nothing to do with killing pesky superheroes. It involves you, me, and mmmff—"
She silenced him with a long, slow kiss.
"Don't you what to know what diabolical evil is in store for you next time I get out of here?" he asks once she lets him get his breath back.
"Surprise me," she whispers before joining their lips once more.
Outside the warden and the guard assigned to the monitoring station note a difference in the prisoner's brain activity as well as an increased heart rate and a specific change to his blood flow. The warden scowls and pressed the button on the intercom, "Enough of that, you two. This isn't supposed to be a conjugal visit."
"Oh, you're no fun at all, Warden," Megamind grouses.
"If you don't knock it off, I'm cutting your visit short," the warden threatens.
"Fine, fine," Megamind grumbles. He takes a few deep breaths and attempts to clear his mind of carnal thoughts. Instead he concentrates on some calculations that will be necessary to properly calibrate the plasma cannon he's planning to unleash upon Metro Man soon. Apparently, thoughts relating to illegal weapons development are more acceptable than thoughts about completely lawful marital relations.
"Thank you," the warden replies as the man's physical reactions to Roxanne's proximity fade.
The couple ignores him and discusses more boring minutia of their daily life. Although their daily life involves brainbots, a sentient fish, and extremely vague references to technology the warden and his staff don't understand, they say nothing incriminating or even particularly informative. They deliberately throw in several suspiciously-worded stories to throw off their audience as to which coded message, if any, is actually real.
Eventually, their time runs out and the Warden's voice comes in over the speaker again. "Okay, lovebirds. Time's up. Megamind, stand on the far side of the room with your hands on the wall. Ma'am, please stand in front of the door." Once the prisoner and his wife comply, the door is opened and Roxanne steps out, leaving Megamind alone in his cell. This is the worst part of visiting him here. Having to leave him behind the door at the end of their time. But at least now he has the means to escape. All she has to do is wait.
What do you think? Interesting? Not? Please review.