Title: Texting is for Lovers
Description: Penny finds herself staring at the top of Amy's head.
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Characters: Amy, Penny
Word Count: 600
Author's Note: This was written for the 30-Thread Shamy Parade at the Shamy forum at FanForum. Happy 30th gals!
Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory is an American sitcom created by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, and is produced by them along with Lee Aronsohn. It is a Warner Brothers production and airs on CBS. All characters, plots and creative elements derived from the source material belong exclusively to their respective owners. I, the author of the fan fiction, do not, in any way, profit monetarily from the story.
"Does he always text you like that?" Penny said as she found herself, for the umpteenth time, talking to the top of Amy's head.
Amy slowly peeled herself away from the phone in her hands. "I'm sorry?" she replied. "What was that?"
"Is that Sheldon?"
Amy answered reluctantly. "Yes."
"And does he, like, text you like that all the time?"
Amy reflected on the question. "When you say 'like that' are you referring to frequency, subject matter or length?"
"How would I know the length or subject matter?"
"Well, seeing as you're currently prying into my personal affairs, I had no idea if you had perhaps checked my phone when I went to the bathroom a few moments ago and discovered something about the nature of Sheldon's texts that piqued your interest."
Penny pursed her lips. "I never touched your phone."
"Good news," Amy said. "Even besties need healthy boundaries." There was a buzzing sound and she returned to pecking away at her cell as Penny watched on. After a few moments, Amy's head rose again. She looked like she had been rebooted.
"What were we talking about?"
"I can't believe he texts you that much. I've never, ever had a guy communicate with me that much. Seriously, I think it hurts a relationship."
"How could communication possibly hurt a relationship?"
"Because at first, the big thrill of a new relationship is the mystery of figuring the other person out, you know? Then you keep talking and talking and talking and soon you start stumbling on things you didn't even want to know, like, how he likes the smell of his own farts or slept in the same bed with his mom until he was thirteen."
"Sheldon shared a room with his brother until he went to college, then he had roommates," Amy explained. "He has yet to comment on the scent of his flatulence, although darned if I'm not curious now."
"Amy," Penny began with a sigh, "I'm not talking about those things exactly. I'm just saying… if you share too much,eventually the mystery is gone and you just… run out of stuff to talk about."
Amy pondered this thought for a moment. "I don't believe that's the case with Sheldon and me. I find that, most days, it's a scramble to contain and bring focus to the variance and intensity of our discussions. Why, just today, we had a conversation—too superficially if you ask me—on Number Theory that then took a fascinating detour into the topic of Fibonacci numbers."
"You guys texted about that?" Penny said, exhausted just thinking about thumbing out those five-dollar words.
"No; we had that conversation over Skype before I came over here." Her face brightened. "Where you aware that the genealogical history of male bees—barring the unrealistic assumption that each generation is otherwise unrelated—conforms to the Fibonacci sequence of numbers?"
Penny waited a beat before answering flatly. "No."
"Neither did Sheldon," She smiled smugly. "I love it when I bring Biology to his world."
There was another buzz, and Penny found herself staring at the crown of Amy's head once again. Amy scrolled through a message that seemed to go on for days and when it finally ended, Amy stared (sighed?) longingly at the screen and a wistful smile crossed her face. Penny recognized that smile; it was a smile she had smiled herself before.
"You really like him a lot, don't you?"
Amy looked up again, hopelessly distracted. "What was that?"
"Nothing," Penny said. "Just… tell Sheldon I said hi."
"Done," Amy said, and resumed typing away.