I wasn't sure what had just happened, or why it bothered me so much. Was it the fact that I didn't kiss her that bothered me? Isn't that what I wanted to do, was to win her in some way? And I had won, she was going to give into me, I knew that much. But then why did I feel unsatisfied?
I shook my head as I headed back to the tour bus, hands tucked into my pockets.
I was so close. I could still smell her on my clothes, from where our bodies had rubbed together. A faint smile spread across my lips as I thought of it.
It was the chase, I tried to convince myself. That's what kept bringing me around her, trying to see how far I can push until she would break. The chase, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less.
And what would happen when I got what he wanted? Like I almost did tonight? Would I move onto the next challenge? Probably. Maybe not.
I really didn't know, and I really didn't like knowing.
Sodding hell. Now would be a good time to call on Frankie, to relieve that stress and sexual frustration that I was feeling. But for some reason, I just wasn't feeling like it.
Sodding hell again. That girl really had me screwed up. I made a mental note to stay away from her for a few days. Maybe more. I just wouldn't talk to classing the bus - I'd sit there and mind my own business for once.
Yes. That's what I would do. Ignore the girl until I could figure out what the hell I really wanted from her, if anything.
I was fuming. How could I let Dougie get that close to me? And how the crikey hell could I lose control like I did? I did not lose control, especially to Dougie, of all people.
He was the absolute last person I ever wanted to lose control with. Ever.
I straightened my clothes and took a few much needed deep breaths before I left the alley, where all the events had just unfolded. My mind kept trying to press rewind and play the horrid movie again. And I desperately did not want to relive that moment.
But the way Dougie had made me feel. Merlins balls, that was crazy. And so real.
I vowed to never let him have that sort of control over me again - not unless it was on my terms. I absolutely could not give him the control.
I vowed to myself that I would stay away from Dougie for the next few days, at least. That should do the trick until I figured out a way to gain control of the seemingly hopeless situation.
It was the next day, all of us were in a cafe for breakfast before we headed off to the next gig, and I could cut the tension between me and Dougie with a dull knife. We both sat at tables, legs tucked away from each other, and faces staring only at our books. I wondered how he would react after last night, and I wasn't surprised that he chose to act the same exact way that I did.
I heard someone clear their throat next to me, and I looked over to see Will, the boy from last night that I made out with in the alley, squatting by the table at my side. I looked around for half a second before putting my book down and turning to him.
"I was wondering if you'd like to meet up again? I mean...if it's too soon..." Will whispered as he looked up at me with wide eyes. I thought he looked particularly innocent just then.
A soft hiss from Dougie drew my attention away from Will, I looked over at Dougie for a brief moment - long enough to see the clear distaste painted on his features. Though he tried to pretend like he wasn't paying attention to me. I knew otherwise.
"Um. Will, I don't know. We're supposed to be leaving today..." I replied as I chewed my bottom lip.
"Just say 'yes', that's all." He tried to convince me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to lead the poor guy on - and besides, I needed the time to get my own thoughts straight.
"I don't think now is a good time. We are leaving soon..." I trailed off with an apologetic look in my eyes.
"It doesn't have to be for long - a few minutes is all I ask." Will pleaded.
"She said sod off, alright?" Dougie had leaned back and interrupted the conversation with a stern voice. Will looked past me and furrowed his brow at the bass playing Poynter.
"I don't remember asking you..." Will replied angrily and I held both of my hands up to motion for them both to shut up.
"Will-not tonight, maybe sometime this weekend, when we aren't traveling. Alright?" I ignored Dougie still, though he was clearly watching us now. Will looked a little upset but he managed a smile nonetheless.
"Alright. Sounds good. See ya, then." Will stood and walked away, but not before sending Dougie an eat-shit-and-die look. I too spun and gave him that same look.
"Stay out of my business, Poynter." I said angrily before I returned to reading. Dougie was seething and I wasn't sure why.
"Don't think I did that for you, Miranda." He nearly spat, "I was tired of hearing your voice."
"Then stop talking to me." I finally looked up at the boy and met his eyes.
"Stop responding." He challenged as he set his steely eyes on mine. We both locked gazes for too long. Finally I looked away and shook my head.
"I'm a Poynter."
"That doesn't mean you have to be a git." I responded, still looking away from him. He too was looking at his book pretending to read.
"Would you like me any other way?"
"I don't like you at all." I shrugged slightly.
"That's not the impression I got from you last night..." Dougie looked smug.
"I was still thinking about Will."
"Like he could make you feel that way." Dougie hissed, "It was me and you know it."
"Then what's your excuse? You were lusting after me quite a bit yourself, last night." I quipped causing him to pause.
"I wasn't thinking about you either, so don't fool yourself." He spat, "You could never do it for me."
"Like I'd ever want to."
"Keep telling yourself that." Dougie leaned back in his seat and let his hair fall over his eyes. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and immediately thought he was quite handsome. A deep scowl crossed my face at this thought.
"Let's just stay clear of each other from now on. Deal?" I forced my eyes to return to my book. Dougie cut a sideways glance at me.
"Like you can stay away from me." He countered, sounding like he just challenged me. I shook my head.
"Don't fool yourself." I mocked, "You'll never do it for me, so I don't think it'll be a problem to stay away from you."
Silence. I was even more pissed off and Dougie was seething, making the tension between us grow ever thicker.
I cut one last glance at Miranda and wondered if we could really avoid each other forever.
Probably not, I thought to myself.
And then I smiled.