AN: Okay so I don't remember when was the last I updated this, and I'm sorry as always for making you wait. I've been working on a lot of things, and well you know how things go. I hope you're still invested enough to bear with me. And I thank you if you are.
Rachel didn't sleep at all after waking up from her nightmare. She didn't even try to get any rest, and the following morning she couldn't bring herself to conduct her morning routine. After her dads and Sam had left her room she just curled herself in bed and stared up at the ceiling up until realized she actually had to get ready for school. The brunette had half considered asking her dads if she could just stay home, with all things considered they wouldn't deny her, but she didn't want to worry them or Sam.
The blonde boy did see her as a little sister nowadays, and treated her as such. It was a natural response for someone with two younger siblings, and it felt nice for Rachel feel like she had a protective older brother. The main downside though, was also the main upside. Sam could read her quite well now and usually wouldn't back down when he knew something was wrong and she would brush the issue aside. And so it would come as no surprise that Rachel felt awful whenever she made him worry.
With that in mind she dragged her worn out body over to her closet. She slipped on a pair of gray sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt. Her getup only highlighted her weariness and, when she thought about it, would probably only cause more people to worry about her but that was a problem to address later. She went to her bathroom to freshen up slightly and then made her way downstairs to have breakfast with her parents and Sam.
Hearing her go down the stairs, the three of them looked up at her in surprise. None made any attempts of asking if how the rest of her night was. They all knew that it wasn't very often that Rachel Berry would cry, or at least it wasn't very often that she would cry, cry. Even Sam was now aware of how a sad Rachel Berry would mostly just need a glass of water to calm down. Real tears, not Rachel's thing.
A glance at her wardrobe choice caused the three men to trade skeptic looks which Rachel was too distracted to notice. She sat at the table and began to eat just as Sam finished. He went over to the living room to grab his backpack. He slings it over a shoulder then then returns to the dining room table. "You want me to give you a ride, Rach?"
"No thank you Sam. I want to visit Quinn again after school." She offers him a small smile. Sam leans against the wall. Rachel already has an idea of what's going to come next.
"You sure you want to skip Glee again?"
"I- Yes." Her voice has dropped an octave. Her dads are still eating. They try to keep their attention on their food. Not much luck. They stay as silent as possible, letting the only sounds their chewing escaped their mouths.
"We're singing songs for her, you know." Sam persists. "Well technically we're only thinking of what songs to sing. But we're going to put in on a CD and give it to her when she wakes up."
"I- um." Again her voice fails her. A small shake of her head and she's fine. "I'll come up with something and sing it later in the week." Sam makes an affirmative sound and nods his head. He heads out without a word. Rachel finishes her breakfast and follows soon after. The drive to school is silent. Typically she plays music while in her car. But right now she's certain that the first song to play will be depressing, and she doesn't need that.
She arrived at school later than she usually does. The parking lot was already getting full and so she doesn't get her choice of a spot. As exited her car she noticed that there were very few other students out. She grumbled as she checked the time only to find that she had only two minutes to get to class. But instead panicking about possibly ruining her perfect attendance record, she only slumped slower to the main building.
The bell rang only moments after she entered. Roaming the empty halls of McKinley was something Rachel had gotten used to. But of course she more accustomed to venturing these corridors afterschool; when the students and most of the faculty were long gone, and she had stayed behind for extra rehearsal time or such. It was different in the morning and Rachel wondered if it was because she was late or due to her already worn out state. But her thoughts didn't go too far because as she already stated, she was in fact late.
At a faster pace she headed off to her locker. She was able to round corners without fear of being caught. What with McKinley's budget, they couldn't afford to pay security guards whose main purpose was to catch tardy people and truants. After gathering her books she went to her first class. Luckily it was only down the hall and around the corner. She turned the handle of the door to her English class and entered.
"Ms. Berry, you're late." It was said with more surprise than irritation.
"I know, it won't happen again." She quickly scrambled to her seat, and frowned when she found the chair next to her empty. A swift glance to the left revealed that Santana had abandoned her to sit with Mike instead. Rachel sank in her seat as she only halfheartedly listened to the lesson they were given.
On the bright side, the taller brunette wasn't giving her any death glares. Though, truthfully, Santana actually refused any eye contact at all. The tiny diva squirmed in her chair. She was only a few minutes into class and already was losing it. She reached into her bag and pulled out her notebook. Rachel had every intention of taking notes but couldn't.
Her hand was floating above the paper as the minutes on the clock ticked away. Rachel chanced a glance at the Latina. Being ignored, and possibly hated, by her friends was probably more painful than not having friends in the first place.
And what's worse was that it wasn't only Santana. Kurt had been acting differently too. He shuddered at any mention of Quinn or her condition. Rachel would have attributed it to Kurt's personal experience with hospitals with his dad, but she knew something was off. She never pushed him though. They barely talked.
And then there was Mercedes. It was difficult enough to spend time with her, what with Sam living at Rachel's house. They could only stay there if Sam was out for the night, and would mostly hang out at Mercedes' or Kurt's place. But neither would work now.
Class after Rachel stared at the clock. Her entire being felt numb, and confused; both wanting and need to talk with someone, but not having the strength to do so. Thankfully she had managed to do better than the previous day and did get to some work done, or copy off of Mike and Sam that is. The day was nearing its end and once again Rachel went to her car to go to the hospital.
Finn was standing beside it. They only shared fleeting glances all day and Rachel wondered why she hadn't expected this.
"Finn," she acknowledged softly.
"Hey," he replied at the same volume.
"Is there a reason you're Finn," she said after a few seconds. "If not please let me get in-"
"I'm worried about her too."
"I'm sure you are." She attempted to get around him. "And I'm sorry for yesterday b-"
"But I'm worried about you too." Rachel stopped in her tracks and took a step back. "I get it all right. You're worried, we all are. But why should we stop living our lives just because Quinn's had a pause on hers?"
"Finn you're being insensitive again."
"Just answer the question, Rach." His voice wasn't as demanding as she'd come to expect from moments like this. It was more subdued, more needy than bossy. "Are you really going to just wait until she wakes up? And what if she doesn't?"
"She's going to wake up."
"But what if she doesn't?" he said again more forcefully. "What then?" He let out a sigh. "I just don't get it, Rach." He took another breath and stepped aside. "You can go, but just tell me. Is she really more important to you than us?"
"I- I- I don't know." Finn nods solemnly as he heads back to the school muttering out a 'Yeah, of course you don't.' Rachel decides to give chase. "Finn, wait!" He stops, but doesn't turn around. "I'm just really confused right now. I care about you, I swear. But…" She sees him flinch at the word. "I care about Quinn too." With his back towards her she can't at all read his expression, and right now she thinks that's a good thing. "I'm going to go now Finn. I'm sorry, but I have to."
She enters her car and starts the engine. She drives past Finn with a heavy heart. Rachel takes a deep breath as she approaches the hospital. She's prepared to come here as often as she has to, but is completely terrified of the idea of it being part of a routine.
Before long she's in Quinn's room again. Sitting at her bedside. Gently holding her cold pale hand in her own, drawing small patterns with her thumb. She squeezes her hand, waits, and then squeezes again. She doesn't know what she was expecting. That Quinn would squeeze back. That she'd miraculously wake up. No, of course she wouldn't.
"You're being mean, Quinn." She squeezes again. "You can't do this to me." She pulled Quinn's hand towards her chest, and pressed it firmly against it. "You feel this? My heart?" she whimpers. "You can't play with me like this Quinn." Her heart's beating intensified. "You owe me don't you think?" She pauses as though expecting an answer. "You did ruin my wedding," she weakly jokes. "And you might have just made me lose my boyfriend. And this…" She presses Quinn's hand tighter against her heart. "But I'll forgive you. For all of this, if you just wake up. Please," she pleads. "Please."
AN: So I tried not to make Finn be a complete douche. I'm not sure if I succeed of failed, but I tried. But anyway, reviews would be greatly appreciated. And I really want to write a one-shot in celebration of Dianna's birthday in little over a week. If any of you have any suggestions maybe you could PM me. Thanks.