One week later…
"I'm surprised at your choice of drink. I thought you said you didn't like coffee." Dave's therapist, Dr. Rabiyah Ahmed said smiling politely as she set down a large mug in front of him. "Oh! I forgot; my co-worker got me red velvet flavored latte mix. Do you want to try that?"
Dave winced; suddenly the idea of drinking red velvet anything made him queasy. "No thanks." He picked up his mug and tried to smile. "This is good enough."
"Odd choice of words there dude." Rabiyah smiled. Dave was almost used to her calling him 'dude' or saying things like "bull-fucking-shit' during therapy. At first he thought Dr. Ahmed would be an old man or woman who would coddle him or speak condensing towards him. But instead he got Rabiyah (she insisted that Dave called her by her first name since she wanted to make the therapy session as easy going as possible). She was pretty young-late twenties, medium height, dark skinned and long curly hair that waved like crazy when they would play video games.
"Sometimes words are just words Rabi." Dave mumbled taking a sip of drink. "What?" he asked as Rabi continued to look at him.
"Dude, come on, you've been seeing me for little over a month now. I know when you're holding back something."
Dave bit his cheek, "I-I, it's stupid. I don't want to talk about it."
Rabi pressed her lips together for a moment. "Clearly it's not stupid if it's bugging you. What's going on?"
Dave sighed and regretted even opening his mouth. He knew in an instant that he was going to sound like a love torn 12 years old girl. "I broke up with Lucas."
Rabi stood up a little straighter. He hadn't mentioned any doubts about his relationship with Lucas at last week's session, "I'm sorry."
Dave shrugged, "Don't be."
"What happened? Does this have anything to do with Seb-"
Dave watched Rabi's brows rise slightly and nod, she didn't look surprised but interested in how Sebastian was now fitting into his life so much. He often spoke about Sebastian during therapy and his lessons which Rabi found both interesting and a bit unorthodox.
"So what happened?"
"We were going to break up anyway. I don't think I could handle a long distance relationship. Especially with a guy like Lucas. I think I would be freaking out about him meeting better guys." Dave laughed bitterly, "Any dude really. With my luck he would have met a Channing Tatum look-a-like within the week I left."
"Channing isn't that great."
Dave leveled her with a look. "Yes, he is."
"You never thought that Lucas would be worried about you meeting guys in Boston?" she asked, Dave had informed her a two weeks ago that he had applied to Boston College and had gotten accepted early decision.
"Probably more worried about me going to Boston College." Dave mumbled more to himself than to her.
Rabi shrugged, "Actually BC is a pretty good school-LGBT wise. Tons of groups and student support groups as well." She looked over at her desk. "Remind me to give you my associate's number in Boston. He could set you up with some students who work at GLC."
Dave blinked, "Uh...Thanks." Somewhat dreading meeting new people at Boston already before even graduating from high school
Rabiyah smirked, "My pleasure. How did Lucas take the break up?"
Dave bit his lip, "Pretty well. I mean he was beyond reasonable and understanding. Which makes me think I really don't deserve him at all."
"What if he just wants you to be happy?"
Dave reeled, he never thought of anyone wanting to put effort into making him happy before.
It was a new thought.
He shrugged again and rubbed his face, feeling the tears sting his eyes, "I don't know what makes me happy anymore."
"Dave?" Lucas peered at him from across the table, they were enjoying a nice early breakfast at Dave's place. It was unplanned; Lucas had come from his apartment with ingredients for blueberry and mango pancakes and spinach omelets. He had pushed Dave onto the kitchen chair and settled him down with a red velvet hot chocolate.
("Is there a reason why whenever I'm drinking with you I end up drinking red velvet flavored everything?" Dave asked amused as he noticed the strange habit.
"It's sweet, unique, and it's something I enjoy making for people who I like. So shut up and drink while I make breakfast for you, babe." Lucas piped, smirking for Dave's benefit.)
Dave bit his lip and began to fidget in seat, it had been three days since Sebastian had kissed him and in those three days Lucas and him had been hanging out in person, texting, and calling each other. All while Sebastian had decided to avoid him all together.
He never told Lucas about the kiss and the guilt was chewing on his insides, it had only been three days and the secret already seemed fetid.
"I need to tell you something." Dave said hollowly, he laced his fingers together with Lucas's and kissed both hands, praying to anything and everything above him that Lucas would not hate him for this. "Three days ago Sebastian kissed me, I didn't push him back and I kissed back. I pulled away after a while and we haven't spoken since. I'm so sorry."
Dave couldn't breathe for a few seconds as he saw his confession sink into Lucas. The vice grip around his gut wasn't going to loosen any time soon. Nor was the maelstrom look on Lucas.
"Can't say I'm surprised." Lucas admitted, moving his hands away from Dave's in order to cross his arms.
Dave took the move as a stab to heart and felt the vice break everything in him. He bit his lip till he could taste blood as he tried his best to not let the tears flow. But his face was already becoming red and his vision was becoming watery.
"Dave…David." Lucas noticed the change and sighed as he scooted closer to him and cupped his face. "I'm not mad, okay? I'm really not."
Dave hiccupped and laughed, incredulous of the man in front of him, "How are you not mad? I'm mad at myself for pulling that fucking shit!"
Lucas laughed and wiped the tears away from Dave's face. "Anyone with eyes could see that Sebastian had feelings for you. I saw how he was looking at you when I was talking to you."
"What?" Dave felt his stomach twist; did everyone know that Sebastian had feelings for him except him?
God, his life was becoming more and more like a CW drama.
"To be honest, I thought he was going to throw his drink at me when I started to touch you that first day we met." Lucas confessed with a slight smile on his face. He pulled Dave closer and kissed him on the lips. "I thought I could at least get a few months before he got the courage to pull this sort of shit. Guess I called it too late?"
Dave snorted and pulled Lucas by his shirt and kissed him until he was straddling Lucas, their kiss becoming more and more heated. He didn't want to let go.
"We said this might not last, remember?" Lucas reminded him when they made it to Dave's room. He had Dave on his back on the bed and was kissing his neck, bringing back life to the old marks he had made before on Dave's neck and collar bone.
"Do you want to break up?" Dave asked fearful of the answer. His hands were shaky and his vision blurry as he touched the muscle crease on Lucas's stomach.
Lucas smiled sheepishly into Dave's stomach, "I want to keep you."
(Dave swore he could hear his own heart skip a beat and hoped that he was the only one who heard it.)
"But I know that would be selfish."
Dave shrugged as he pulled off Lucas's shirt, "I don't mind you being selfish in that case."
Lucas hummed as he kissed Dave's bellybutton and went up, his fingers ghosting over Dave's sides until they become intertwined with his own fingers. Dave licked his lips as he felt Lucas warm hands squeeze his gently.
"I can't really be selfish. Doesn't fit me much." Lucas eyed him for a few seconds, "If I were I wouldn't have told you Sebastian has a thing for you and I would have made you go to school with me. I would have loved for us to live in a small crappy apartment with my dog and you crooning along with Sinatra or Olly Mur in bed."
Dave could feel the flush spread throughout his body as he envisioned that. He honestly didn't mind that.
"But you would be miserable, huh?" Lucas finished as he kissed Dave. "I'm starting to love you Dave and I really want you to love me back, but I'm okay if you want to break up now. We can still be friends."
Dave laughed bitterly, "Please don't say that. No one does that. No one can be friends with an ex."
Dave stopped laughing and smiling all together once he saw the serious look on Lucas's face, "I don't want to lose you Dave."
Dave gulped down the pain and hurt, the confession made them both feel raw and vulnerable.
"You're not." Dave knew he couldn't promise a thing like that. He hadn't told anyone but his therapist that he tried killing himself again, a few days after they released him from the hospital.
(The night Sebastian had come to his house.)
He breathed slowly as Lucas rested his head on top of his, both breathing and tearing up as they tried to come to terms with the fact they might not have a chance to be together. Dave inhaled Lucas's smell deeply, reeling in the strong smell of the coffee shop and the spicy and sweet scent of his cologne. He couldn't tell which one of them is crying.
He licked his lips as Lucas peppered his face with kisses again before kissing him on his heart. "Just promise me one thing?"
"Anything." Dave said softly as he pulled Lucas in for a kiss.
"If you decide to go to Sebastian and he is stupid enough to let you go…again, then will you let me catch you?"
Dave sniffed and laughed at the same time, finally not caring if he was indeed bawling like a baby. He didn't care about what he looked like or what was going on outside his room. This was probably going to be their last time together like this; he was going to enjoy it.
Rabi smiled sweetly as she passed Dave a box of tissues, he had been crying the whole time while he was telling the story. "Did you honestly want to break up with him?" she could see it in the young boy's face, he was heartbroken.
"I don't know. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know what would make me happy or piss me off enough that I-I…" They both knew how he wanted to finish that sentence.
Rabi became stiff and resolute, "Life doesn't come easy, especially when you're young and you feel like your life could go in thousands of directions once you make a choice. Even a simple choice."
Dave leaned his head back and tossed his used tissue in the can next to him, "Choices suck."
Rabi pouted and shrugged, "A plethora of options and choices and all could lead to heartbreak, huh?"
Dave sniffed again and nodded his head.
"Or they could lead to you being the happiest you have ever been."
Dave shifted in his seat at her tone; it was jarring and yet comforting. Like she knew…
"You broke up with Lucas for a reason. What was the reason?"
Dave sighed and buried his face into his hands, his elbows sitting on his thighs as he could feel the truth float up from his mouth. "I like Sebastian. I knew I liked him, I just thought that he would want Blaine over me, like Kurt or pretty much every guy with pulse."
Rabi frowned, "Lucas wants you. And now you noticed that Sebastian has wanted you for a while now." She reminded him gently.
Dave became quiet as he realized that people were starting to like him, want him, and (he was having a hard time believing this one) need him.
Dave picked up his mug in order to have something to do and drank the now lukewarm coffee.
"You deserve to be happy David." Rabi reminded him as she sipped her own drink.
Dave could feel something inside of him relax and let go. He felt lighter somehow and filled with vigor.
He smiled at Rabi, bashful as ever, "Best thing I've ever heard."
The next day…
Kurt was starting to become listless as he and Santana (along with Jeff when Sebastian was at school) continued their "Sebastian Watch". The guy had gone deep into his own world as Dave continued to spend time with his friends and Lucas. Sebastian, while never a "people person", was now becoming a full fledged misanthrope as he become detached to everyone and everything, even Warbler meetings.
It was Saturday morning and Kurt had promised Jeff that he and Santana would drop by. Sebastian had ditched school the last two days and was threatening Jeff that he would stop coming to Warbler meets all together.
("Like actually threatened not to come if Dave didn't do something?" Santana asked over the phone. They could both tell Jeff was shaking his head.
"No, I wish. That would be more like the old Sebastian. He said he didn't want to come to Warbler meetings if he knew it meant Dave being uncomfortable."
Santana's jaw dropped. "Dios me ayude.")
They didn't bother knocking on Sebastian's door after Sebastian's aunt let them into the house. They found him laying on the bed, face buried into his pillow as a low tune played in the background.
Kurt felt Santana freeze next to him, her eyes zeroing on where the music was coming from. "Nina Simone?"
Sebastian groaned as he turned onto his back. "Yes. What the hell are you two doing here?"
"We just thought we could come over and say hi." Kurt replied easily as he leaned against the door frame.
"Kurty, hate to break it to you, but you suck at lying."
Kurt rolled his eyes and stood up and away from the door, "And you suck at life."
"Kurt!" Santana seemed aghast at his clipped tone and lack of empathy. But he knew better.
"Oh come on San, it's been over a week and he's still moping around like Dave meant something to him."
Sebastian sat up and frowned, barking out a loud "What?!" But Kurt nor Santana paid him no attention as Kurt continued.
"For God's sake Finn wasn't even half as infuriating when he broke up with Quinn or Rachel. And I wanted to kill him both times."
Santana exhaled and threw her arms in the air, "Thank you God." She whipped her head and looked at Sebastian, who was starting to feel like a target all of a sudden. "I was only going with this "let's go and comfort itty bitty Sebastian" plan because Kurt was. But now since he has seen the light I can finally say this." She walked over to Sebastian's bed and sat down next to him. "Sebastian, sweetie, you suck."
"Has anyone ever told you Santana, that you would make a lovely therapist along with a bitch?"
Santana gave a dazzling "fuck you" smile, "Everyday. And you can throw and hurl attacks at me and Kurt and pretty much everyone else and pretend you're fine, but you should really look at a mirror before you call someone a bitch." She got up from his bed and settled her hands on her hips, "We've let you do things your way because we thought you were smart enough to fight for what you want or at least have a plan up your sleeve. Who knew you would be the most broken one of all of us?"
Sebastian bit the inside of cheek, embarrassed that Santana had him figured out. Not even Jeff knew him that well.
(The only other person who called him out on his bull shit was Dav-.)
(Let's not go there.)
"Sebastian, you miss him. Admit it." Kurt stated as he took Santana's spot on the bed. "You miss him and he misses you too."
"He has Lucas." Sebastian mumbled miserably as he pulled his blankets closer to him.
"But he doesn't have you. Aziz told us that he's been wallowing since you two stopped talking to each other." Kurt informed him as he tried to tug the blanket away. "You need to talk to him. At least give him the chance to-"
"To what? Reject me again?"
Santana and Kurt grew sullen, they both knew about the kiss and what that had done to Sebastian's confidence.
"Something in you doesn't want to give up, does it?" Kurt asked with a slight nod at the way Sebastian was holding himself.
Sebastian winced and groaned into his hands, "I, why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to fall for the one person who's the most fragile person I know?"
Santana cocked her head to the side, "We could ask Dave the same question."
Sebastian glared at her, "You're fucking hilarious. I'm sure you'll be a great addition to Butch Time Live."
Santana smiled triumphantly, bouncing on her toes as she clapped her hands together mockingly. "And he's back." She blew him a kiss. "We all missed you."
"Sure you did." Sebastian answered derisively.
"Now that we were able to bring the bitch back, you think you could talk to Dave? This can't keep going on, you know that." Santana mused as she made her way to Sebastian's walk in closet and started pulling out shirts.
"He's going to reject me again. You know that, right?" Sebastian asked Kurt.
"You don't know that."
"Yeah, I do actually. Because Dave is a good guy."
"He didn't start out that way. Believe us." Santana yelled from the closet.
"And you're not a bad guy Sebastian." Kurt stated, earning himself a surprised look from Sebastian.
"You're saying this? After what I did to you and the others?"
"And after what you did for Dave. Yes." Kurt looked on at the floor, "I'm not saying I trust you one hundred percent, just that you shouldn't knock yourself down because you made some mistakes. I think you two need each other more than you realize. I think you two can make each other happy."
His honesty made Sebastian feel both touched and uncomfortable.
He wasn't expecting this much from Kurt.
"Thank you Kurt." He said it with no malice, sarcasm, or bitterness whatsoever. This had to be some sort of landmark in their friendship.
(He had used the word friendship to describe what he and Kurt had going on between them?!)
Kurt smiled, "Just think you two could be the new 'it' couple."
"No couple can beat Brittana!" Santana reminded them from the closet.
Sebastian was starting to grow worried at her time spent in there.
"You two make such a cute couple though. Like Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka or Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield!"
Santana chose this moment to step out of the closet, arms ladled with different shirts, jackets, and pants. "Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield aren't a couple Kurt, they both have girlfriends."
Kurt blanched, "They, wait what?" he shook his head and looked as Sebastian to refute Santana's claim, but the other boy simply smirked and agreed with Santana. "No freaking way!"
"Sorry Kurty, but both dudes have girlfriends."
Santana bit back a laugh and threw the clothes onto Sebastian, "So when are you going to call Dave and meet up?"
"You think he would be willing to meet up?" Sebastian asked solemnly, remembering Dave's face once they broke apart from the kiss.
Kurt was still ramblings on, "What two straight guys touch each other that much and flirt on camera?!"
Santana shook her head and threw Sebastian's phone at him, "Call him up and ask him to meet with you tonight and then go take a shower. Kurt and I figure out what you'll wear and what you will buy him."
"I mean Garfield might as well have put a ring on it with the way he was looking at Eisenberg. He was freaking confessing on how much he loved Jesse's body and voice. Who say stuff like that unless you're in love?!"
Santana and Sebastian exchanged worried glances. "I think we broke him."
Sebastian laughed, "We blasted holes into his ship."
Santana joined in on the laughing and then proceeded to pull Sebastian off the bed and into his bathroom. "Go and shower we'll take care of-"
A loud knock interrupted her.
The three looked at each other, Sebastian knew his aunt wouldn't knock that loudly and his father rarely ever came to see him in his room.
He walked to the door and opened it to find Dave standing in front of him.
Kurt and Santana stood stark still as Dave took in everything. They couldn't see Sebastian's expression, but Dave looked apologetic and uneasy.
"Hi." Dave started, he looked pale and sick, "Can we talk?"
Kurt and Santana risked a glance at each other and felt Dave staring at them as if he were intruding on a very private moment between best friends.
He looked as broken as Sebastian did right this minute.
Kurt grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her away, "We were just leaving anyway."
Once Santana was out of Dave's sight, she motioned at Sebastian not to screw this up. Which was just the icing on top as Kurt gave him an enthusiastic smile and thumbs up.
Dave turned around once he saw were Sebastian was looking at but once he turned all he saw were Kurt and Santana's retreating backs.
"Was I interrupting something?" Dave asked cautiously, still lingering at Sebastian's doorway.
Sebastian was quick to answer, "No, actually I was about to call you to see if we could talk." He moved aside and let Dave in.
ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT!
Sorry again for the hiatus. I'm happy that a lot of you like the fic and I hope this chapter made you happy.
And to those wondering if Lucas and Dave had sex, I left it vague (or as vague as possible) for a reason. Take it whichever way you want.
Thanks for the favorites, reviews, and alerts.
(Happy New Year)