In The Valley of the Sun
By Berry's Ambitions
A/N: Okay… new project time! Yes, in case anyone's wondering the title does come from the soundtrack to the first Hills and is sung by Buddy Stuart. I thought it would be rather appropriate considering it's a love song of sorts and this is going to be a drabble collection dedicated to the various pairings in this fandom. Drabbles will vary in length (some may be quite long, others very short) and there will be hetero, yaoi, and yuri. Some of the content may also be questionable, so please proceed with caution. I'll probably stop after 100 chapters… if I make it that far without going completely mental. Updates for this will be sporadic and there will be no real schedule for it.
I really hope you all enjoy this! If there's a pairing that you dislike, feel free to skip ahead. It's going to get pretty crack-y after a while, and most of the material will stray far from canon. Be prepared!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Hills Have Eyes.
WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Mild language and suggestive themes.
Lizard knew something was wrong immediately when he opened the cupboard.
For one thing, the jumbo Oreos was lined up neatly with the rest of the boxes, not lying carelessly on its side the way he left it.
Secondly it had been sealed shut. Lizard clearly remembered leaving the box torn open specifically so that he wouldn't have to pry it open every damn time he wanted a snack.
Lastly, when he removed the package of cookies from the cupboard he noticed one was missing.
He'd only eaten three the day before. Four were missing.
Lizard's eyes narrowed.
Oh, he would find the one who did this. And when he did, they'd pay dearly.
Lizard spent the rest of the day trying to find the culprit, but to no avail. Goggle had been on duty. Ruby had been helping Big Mama with caring for the children and cleaning. Big Brain never left his house. Pluto was too dim to pull off something so sneaky. Cyst and Jupiter had been playing an intense game of cards.
He wondered if Hades was so desperate for sweets that he'd break the rules to snatch some. Unlikely, but Lizard wouldn't put it past the bastard.
That night he lay in wait, ducked behind a living room armchair.
The footsteps came from upstairs. Light. Dainty.
Lizard listened as they headed into the kitchen. There was the soft creak of the cupboard opening, and he went rigid as the sound of crinkling paper became audible.
NO ONE TOUCHES MY OREOS!
He jumped to his feet, snarling as he sprinted into the kitchen, poised to attack.
The light turned on.
There stood none other than a very bewildered Brenda Carter, in her pajamas, a cookie raised to her lips.
Cue awkward silence.
"Um.." Brenda lowered it. "Guess I… should've brought it up that I found these…"
"That woulda been helpful."
"So, I, uh, guess I should put these away…?"
A beat passed before Lizard merely grinned. "Nah." He stepped closer to her. "You know I don't mind if you want some."
Brenda raised her eyebrows. "You weren't honestly planning on attacking someone over a stupid Oreo, were you?"
Lizard scratched his head, sheepish, and she shook her head affectionately. "You're a lot of good things, Lizard," she said, popping the treat into his surprised mouth, "but being a detective is not one of them."
Aware they could both live with that, Brenda leaned over to get her share of that Oreo.
A/N: Reviews would be lovely! ;)