A/N: Hello everyone! This is Inspirational Grape Juice from The Love of Our Lust. I know, it has been a long time, but life has kind of gotten away from me. From all three of us, really. But, we have not forgotten about the requests. This story, however was a birthday present for our own Dead Wang Toys who is now of legal drinking age! Hazzah! I wonder if that will affect her writing . . . Lol!
Warning: As per all our stories, this is slash. Which means boy/boy pairings. Or, platypus/evil inventor, as the case may be. There is (somewhat) graphic sex depicted between the two male characters (and, really, what good is a slash story with no sex?). If you do not like such things for whatever strange reason, you may click the back button now. However, if you choose to read on, please do not leave a review complaining about the male/male pairing (True story. See The Challenge: The Companion Challenge A Sequel). You have been warned.
Summary: An AU fic where Doofenshmirtz is a poor villager with a knack for inventing machines that always break. He is chased out of his village and almost out of money when he hears about a contest promising the victor a "great prize". All he has to do is get the king of this kingdom to laugh. Easy, right?
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Phineas and Ferb characters, names, likenesses, and such. I merely use them for my own enjoyment.
The Challenge: Alternate Universe
Once upon a time in a small, poor, desolate, forsaken, all over crummy village, there lived a great inventor. Me! The Great Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Dun, dun, dun! *Ahem* Sorry, I got a little excited there. But I'm okay now.
As I was saying, there lived a great inventor, Heinz Doofenshmirtz. The Great Heinz Doofenshmirtz dedicated his time and above average intelligence to creating wonderful inventions he called Inators (like Smellinator, Clothes-Washinginator, and Gnominator. I admit, they were not the best ideas. Except that last one, the Gnominator. That was a wonderful idea. An Inator that would create gnomes so that I . . . I mean Heinz didn't have to dress as a gnome and stand in the garden by himself. What was wrong with it? I mean, besides the fact the every time you used it, it exploded.) Unfortunately for poor Heinz (whom everyone called Doofenshmirtz, though I don't know why. I mean, there were, like, ten of us with that name but I was the only one they didn't call by the first name. That just doesn't make any sense to me. Wouldn't that get confusing? "Hey Doofenshmirtz!" and ten people turn around? But I'm, getting away from the story again, aren't I?), he was ahead of his time, and much smarter then anyone from his small village. Oh! And much better looking, too! Yeah, I like that . . .
So, Heinz Doofenshmirtz left his village (but he wasn't run out by all of his family and so-called 'friends' who were wielding pitchforks and torches. That most certainly didn't happen) and set out for the big city where he would be appreciated and people would buy his wonderfully amazing inventions, not call them yesterday's schnitzel.
Alas, the Great Heinz Doofenshmirtz set out in search of this wondrous place. After much traveling he came upon a town called the Tri-Stat—I mean, Tri-Village Area. Yeah, that sounds good . . . However, by the time Heinz reached the Tri-Village Area, he was awfully hungry and out of money. So, he decided to stop in the middle of the market place and set up a stand to sell the Inators he brought with him. After about three hours of trying to sell his Inators, Heinz had yet to make any money, and his stomach continued to growl. He was just about to give up when two official-looking guys from the palace made an announcement in the middle of the market place.
"Hear ye, hear ye! (That's what they say, right?) The King of the Tri-Village Area has an announcement he would like me to make in the middle of this market place," said the triangle-headed guy. "It is common knowledge, but I will reiterate just in case there are any travelers selling Inators that don't know, but our wonderful King has not laughed or smiled in over five years. It has been decreed that the first person that can make the King laugh or smile will be given a great reward." Then the triangle-headed one looked at the silent one for a moment before turning back. "That is all." And with that the two guys left.
"Hmm . . ." Heinz thought to himself. "I bet I can make this King laugh with my Sock-Puppetinator. It always made the people in my village laugh. Though, that may be because they were laughing at me and not the sock puppets . . ." After much contemplation (wow, that was a big word), Heinz decided that the chance for a 'great reward' was too good to pass up. And because he was hungry. Really hungry. And, who knew, maybe there would be a feast for the winner.
So, Heinz followed the two people towards the great and wonderful palace. What he wasn't expecting, though, was the really, really, really, really long line of people all waiting to make the King laugh.
"Great," he thought to himself again. "This is going to take forever. And what if someone makes him laugh before I get a chance? That just isn't fair! But, what can you do? Maybe there will be a consolation prize. I could really go for some schnitzel right now . . ." As Heinz contemplated what the prize could be and remembered the taste of his mom's home-made schnitzel, the line kept getting smaller and smaller until it was his turn to try to make the King laugh.
"You there, Heinz Doofenshmirtz," the triangle-headed advisor called out. "It is your turn. Good luck." With that and a nod from the silent guy, it was Heinz's turn to try to make the King smile.
Sitting up on a grand throne was what looked like a small boy with odd teal-colored hair and a bored expression. "Uh . . . Hello there, Your Majesty," Heinz said as he set up his Sock-Puppetinator. "How are you today? Any good laughs?" There was no reply. "I guess not, since it's my turn," Heinz mumbled to himself.
"Well, here it goes," Heinz said as he finished setting up the Inator. With a few puffs of smoke and a rocky start, the puppet show finally started working. But, as Heinz's luck would have it, two minutes into the wonderfully funny show (and it was quite hysterical), one of the puppets caught fire, and the whole Inator exploded.
With a big sigh and a growl from his stomach, Heinz accepted the fact that there was no way he won and started thinking of a new way to get dinner.
The King called over his two advisors while Heinz went to stand with the other contestants.
"The King has decided," the advisor who seems to do all the talking, said. "There is no winner." A chorus of 'Aws' and 'Boos' sounded throughout the contestants as they filed out one by one. Heinz was at the very last one to reach the door.
"Wait! Heinz Doofenshmirtz, the King would like a moment of your time," the triangle-headed advisor said. Confused, Heinz followed the young advisor, stopping by the King's throne.
"Ah, yes, Your Majesty?" Heinz asked, now not knowing what to do.
The King stared at Heinz for an uncomfortably long time without saying anything. Then, he leaned over to his close-lipped advisor and whispered something without looking away from Heinz. The usually silent advisor then leaned towards the other one that does all the talking and whispered something.
"The King would like you to come back tomorrow and try again," he finally said to Heinz.
Not knowing what else to do, Heinz thanked the King and left. It was only after he got out of the castle walls that he realized that he had no where to stay for the night and no prospects for food. "Darn . . ." he mumbled to himself as he walked away.
The next day (don't ask me what happened to Heinz that night, you don't want to know. I don't even know . . .) Heinz went back to the castle with a new Inator to try to make the pouty King laugh.
However, that day went as well as the first. And the next day was no better. Or the next. Or the next.
Heinz was running out of ideas. He had one last Inator to try before he completely gave up. Heinz was shown into the King's audience chambers just like every other day, but, this time, for some strange reason, the two advisors didn't accompany him into the rather large room.
"That's weird," Heinz thought as he walked into center of the room to set up his Inator. "Hello there King. How are you today?" he asked, knowing he wouldn't get an answer.
Just as expected, there was no answer. "This is my last Inator, Your Majesty. I call it, the Make-The-King-Laughinator!"
Before Doofenshmirtz could start his crappy Inator that was doomed to fail, the King left his throne to join the inventor by his machine.
"King? What are you doing down here?" Doofenshmirtz asked.
The King lifted up on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "Call me Perry."
A shiver ran down Doofenshirtz's spine. "Wait a minute. How old are you? I thought you were, like, twelve or something. Why is your voice so deep?"
Perry didn't bother responding. Instead, he slowly ran his hand up Doofenshmirtz's shirt, lifting it higher and higher. "Wha-what are you doing?" Heinz asked, his voice getting higher the farther the Kings hands traveled. "I-I think you should stop now."
In one swift movement, Perry swung his leg around, knocking Doofenshmirtz to the floor, where he preceded to straddle the confused man. "Okay, Your Majesty. I really think you should stop now."
Perry leaned down, bringing his face closer to the other man's.
"Shhhh," he purred in his ear before he pulled his shirt off the rest of the way. The King ran his hands over the too pale flesh, stopping briefly to pinch the erect nipples.
"Ah!" Doofenshmirtz cried out, whether in surprise or pleasure he wasn't sure. The hands kept moving down, skimming the soft skin just above the hem of his pants before pulling them down just far enough to reveal Doofenshmirtz's erect cock. Perry looked up at Doofenshmirtz's blushing face. "Are you going to do what I think you're going to do?" he asked. The King's only answer was to place his lips over the tip of his member, lapping at the sensitive head playfully. "Yeah, that's what I thought you were going to do-Oooooh!" Doofenshmirtz moaned, bucking his hips slightly as the King took more of his member into his moist mouth.
Perry slowly moved his mouth up and down, running his tongue along the underside of Doofenshmirtz's cock, testing it.
"Ahn!" Doofenshmirtz bit back a moan, feeling his orgasm mounting. When Doofenshmirtz was just moments away from climax, Perry removed his mouth. "Wait! I thought . . .Why can't . . ." Doofenshmirtz panted, unable to formulate a complete sentence.
Perry said nothing as he placed one hand on the other man's cheek, slipping a finger into his mouth. Doofenshmirtz started sucking on the digit dutifully, thinking only of reaching his own end.
Perry slipped another finger into the eager mouth. Every time Doofenshmirtz sucked on the digits, Perry felt a tug on his manhood. When he wasn't sure if he could take any more, the King removed his now wet fingers.
Without waiting any longer, he plunged the first digit into Doofenshmirtz's entrance.
Doofenshmirtz let out a surprised gasp at the sudden intrusion. He unconsciously wiggled his hips, trying to become accustomed to the strange sensations. Just as he was getting used to the feeling, Perry entered the second digit.
"Ah!" Doofenshmirtz whimpered as he bucked his hips uncontrollably.
A smirk lighting across his face, Perry moved his fingers over that same spot again and again, listening to the other man's cries of pleasure.
Unable to wait any longer, Perry removed his fingers from the other man's entrance.
"Wait. What are you doing?" Doofenshmirtz asked, breathlessly. "So . . . So close . . ."
The King didn't say anything thing as he lowered his pants, revealing his own erect member. Without wasting anymore time, the King thrust his cock into the writhing man beneath him. The moan that escaped the inventor's lips caused a shiver to crawl down Perry's spine. The sensations were overwhelming. It was even better than he had expected it to be.
Doofenshmirtz lifted his arms to Perry's neck, pulling their bodies together. "More," he whispered in his ear before he started moving his hips slowly, urging the King to move.
That was all the permission the King needed. He slowly pulled his cock out, making sure to hit the bundle of nerves, then thrust back in to the hilt.
Doofenshmirtz could feel his climax getting closer with every powerful movement. His mind was lost to the pleasure, no longer registering where he was. All that he was sure of was that he had never felt like this before, and that he didn't want it to end.
A growl left Perry's lips as he felt his own release drawing near. His thrusts became harder, faster, a frenzy driving him further and further to that wonderful end.
Neither party was prepared for the pleasure that washed over them. Wave after wave of new sensations raced through them, muscles bunching and releasing as their climaxes hit them, taking over their bodies.
When their breathing slowed, and the world righted itself, the two still couldn't find the strength to move, lying side by side on the cold floor.
"That . . . That was not what I expected when I came here," Doofenshmirtz finally said, looking over at the man next to him.
A bubbling laugh left the King's lips at the unromantic statement.
"Hey, wait a minute," Doofenshmirtz started, lifting up onto his elbows to better look at the King. "You laughed. I made you laugh! That means I win. Woo hoo!" Doofenshmirtz declared, excitement running through him. He had never won anything before.
"No you didn't," Perry said calmly, closing his eyes.
"Yes I did. You laughed. I made you laugh," the other man countered.
"But, no one saw it, so it doesn't count. Better luck next time," he finished, unable to stop the small smile that graced his lips so easily.
"What?" Doofenshirtz was outrag-
"Ah! That was a good sandwich. Nothing hits the spot better than a cheese and schnitzel sandwich. Just like mom used to make," Heinz commented to no one in particular. "Who knew you could get so hungry just from writing? It really makes me respect people who do this for a living." The evil "genius" stretched one last time before heading back to his computer to finish his new masterpiece.
The last thing he expected to see was a teal-furred secret agent staring at the screen of his unattended laptop. "Perry, the platypus? What are you doing?"
The mute mammal turned towards Doofenshmirtz, one eyebrow raised as he pointed at the screen.
"Oh, that?" Heinz chuckled nervously as he noted the text covering the screen. "That's just a little something I was working on to make extra money. Those Inators don't pay for themselves. Well, they really should, but you always foil my plans before the 'big payoff' part."
The platypus looked at the evil scientist skeptically.
"What? You don't believe me?"
The platypus didn't respond.
"Fine, I'll show you that I am a wonderful writer. Things just got interesting, too. The great and wonderful inventor, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, now I didn't name him after me, that was the only name I could think of on the spot. Anyway, Heinz just revealed his latest Inator and is about to make the King laugh, earning all the riches and gold he could ever need."
Doofenshmirtz walked over to the laptop, to find where he had left off, not noticing the platypus that was slowly inching closer to the veranda.
"Here it is," he declared triumphantly. "Wait a minute. What is all of this? I didn't write this. 'skimming the soft skin' . . . 'bit back a moan' . . . 'surprised gasp' . . . 'thrust to the hilt' . . ." Doofenshmirtz paused, trying to fit the pieces together. "Hey! This is a sex scene!" he finally realized. "How did this get here?" he wondered. "Do you know, Perry? Perry?" he called again when he didn't get a response.
When Doofenshmirtz turned around, there was no platypus secret agent anywhere. "Perry? Where did you go?" Getting up from the computer, Doofenshmirtz looked around his apartment for the missing agent.
When he got to the veranda, he noticed an all too familiar parachute floating over the Tri-State area.
That was when everything finally made sense to him.
"Curse you Perry the Platypus!" he called after the devious secret agent. "Huh. I didn't realize he was into that kind of stuff," Doofenshmirtz mused as he walked back into his apartment to read the ending to his story.
~ End ~