Hello everyone!
By golly, sure is awesome to be here!
I guess I'm well and truly part of the Homestuck fandom, huh? Meh, I don't mind so much.

Gah, I've had this idea for a while, and I freaking love this AU so much, man. I think with every fandom I've been in, I've had this idea. But only now have I put it into action.

All the characters, Homestuck in general (c) Lord Hussie. Bow to him.
The idea, Scott Pilgrim in general (c) Bryan Lee O'Malley. Bow to him also, cus he's awesome.

Let's go!

Reader: Be John Egbert.

You are John Egbert, and right now, life is pretty damn awesome.

"John Egbert is dating a high schooler?"

That is, until expert drummer/best friend/cranky ginger extraordinaire Karkat Vantas finished his morning coffee and finally understood what the hell you were talking about last night at band practise. The band knew you were finally (after months of lamenting) going out with someone new, but it seemed no-one suspected that you would be dating someone still in school

"Really? Is she hot?" Dirk asked, looking at you over his own cup of warm coffee (black, because only chicks and Karkat have it otherwise), a blonde eyebrow raised over triangular and totally rad shades.

"How old are you now, John? Like twenty five?" Karkat still wouldn't shut up about the age thing.

"I'm not playing your little games, Karkat." You said with a light tone, too content to be put in a bad mood by your drummer. You glanced over at your two band mates and number-one-SBURB-super-fan that had joined the crowded breakfast table, a small smile on your face.

The room is silent for a second or two before Karkat started asking "So you've been out of high school for like eight years, and-"

"I'm twenty three, Karkat! Twenty three!" You snapped, fishing the tea-bag (you never were one for coffee, like the others) out of the cup of steaming black tea. Milk and sugar are obviously required to make the drink ready for consumption, you noted. "Jeez, we're the same age..."

"And you're dating a high school girl? Not bad, not bad..." Dirk concluded with a rare half-smile, taking a sip of his coffee. "Can't believe a derp like you would pull something like that off without blowing it, though."

"Dating a-come on, what does that even mean?" Karkat demanded from you, running a hand through his short fiery locks. You laughed at his confusion of the situation and screwed the cap of the milk bottle back on, putting it away in the fridge.

"It means that I'm dating a girl younger than me~" You sang with a small nod, going to sit down by Roxy.

"I know that, fuckass..." Karkat growled behind his coffee cup, adamant on having the last word, and like the good friend you are, you let him.

"So, yeah, like, have you guys 'done it' yet?" She asked you, giggling slightly. You suspected she was slightly tipsy, having 'irished' (as Karkat put it) up her coffee, but who are you to judge? She was a sweet girl, but you really wish she'd stop drinking so much. At least until she turns twenty one.

"Well, we sort of ride the bus to the arcade, and she tells me about how her anime and LARPing clubs went, and about her friends, and, ya know...high school drama..." You rambled, crossing your ankles under the table and taking a sip of your tea.

"Yeah, okay..." Dirk said, chewing a slice of toast, covered in orange marmalade. "Have you even kissed her yet?" He asked, his mouth full.

"We almost held hands the other day, but she got embarrassed..." You said with a small grin, remembering the blush on your girlfriend's cheeks, and the way she muttered her apology so cutely, sipping your tea happily.

"Well, don't you seem pleased as punch." Karkat piped up again, his mouth full of Dirk's stolen toast.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You said in a sing song manner, smiling pleasantly at Karkat. He returned your smile with a middle finger.

"So, what's her name then?" Dirk asked curiously.

"Nepeta Leijon. She's Swedish." You replied, still smiling like a fool, putting your cup of tea down on the table.

"That's wicked!" Roxy said with a grin. "Where'd you meet her, anyway?"

You smiled again, and took a slice of toast covered in raspberry jam, biting into it. "I believe I mentioned the bus before...?"

John: Be Nepeta Leijon.

You are Nepeta Leijon, and you're on a bus.

"Sherman is a nice boy! You like him!"

You're on a bus with your overly doting mother because she thought it would be nice to meet you on the bus today. Normally, you can get home yourself without any trouble (this is Toronto, for Christ's sake) and prefer to, as it gives you a chance to stop off at the arcade for a quick game of DDR (which you're awesome at) or the coffee shop for a macchiato, but oh no, not today.

Today, you have to endure your mother talking to you about dating. Your least favourite subject.

"Mom, I'm seriously not interested at all..." You said, holding your heavy school bag, heaving with homework and rotas for your very popular anime and LARPing clubs, on your lap.

"You are seventeen years old! It's time you got interested in boys, and not with this silly 'anime' or 'larping'." While you adored your mother, you couldn't help but be annoyed with her constant inability to pronounce the word anime correctly.

"Mom!" You drawled out with irritation, looking towards the ceiling.

The bus hit a bump in the road, and the sudden impact caused you to drop your bag, leading your books to be spewed onto the floor.

"Crap." You said to yourself, getting onto your knees to pick up the fallen books, muttering angrily at your sudden clumsiness.


A foreign voice alerted your curiosity and you looked up, being met with light blue eyes of a stranger.

A male one too.

After a second or two of looking into his eyes, thinking just how pretty a shade of blue they were, you registered the rest of his features, particularly noting down his square glasses, his liquorice black hair falling so perfectly, framing his round face, a soft smile on his lips, a peppering of light freckles across his nose and a ridiculously adorable overbite hanging over his bottom lip.

And he was holding some of your maths books.

"Don't worry about it." He said, the smile still clear on his face.

'Someone catch me,' You thought to yourself. 'I'm in love.'

Nepeta: Be John Egbert again.

"And that's how we met." You said, finishing your story, with a satisfied smile.

Dirk, Roxy and Karkat were all looking at you, mixed expressions on their faces.

Roxy was grinning like a fool, but you suspect that that was the alcohol in her coffee talking instead of her genuine happiness for you. Poor kid. You decided you would call an intervention when you were bothered.

Dirk had kept his poker face in tact, but one of his eyebrows was raised and his arms were crossed, meaning he was judging you.

And Karkat was...well, Karkat.

"You met her on the bus with her mom?" Dirk asked you, frowning slightly. Or was he just emphasizing his poker face. You never knew with him though.

"Is that seriously the end of the story?" Karkat muttered, throwing the crust of his toast back onto the plate.

"Yes." Is all you need to say.