Author's Notes: Okay, so... my first Total Drama fanfic, and as per my fanfic for everything else, it's totally depressing and kind of a genre shift. Sorry 'bout that. Yeah I don't know; I had some thoughts about Anne Maria and... this ensued.

Warnings: fic contains internalised misogyny, sexual references, a madonna/whore complex, an allusion to domestic abuse, and a lot of swearing. Be very, very careful. It's all pretty non-explicit so I've left the rating as T, but if you feel it needs to be increased, by all means say so.

Bad Girls


There he goes again, making small-talk with that redhead freak. Seriously, don't get me wrong, I love him and all – but this Mike persona of his makes my hair flat. It's that bad.

Vito, sugar – what are you doing? Why are you wasting your time with a girl like her? I am like, right here; count yourself damn lucky I ain't the jealous type.

And now she's blushing. Fucking good girls; shouldn't really worry 'bout it though. I mean, no-one ever stays with 'em. Had my hand in a good share of those occasions, don't you worry.

What? Hell no, I don't feel guilty. Someone's gotta teach 'em a lesson. You either grow up and learn to please your man, or else...

She's staring at his fingers. Creepy much? She said that to us, something 'bout how she thought his fingers were nice – I woulda told her exactly what those nice fingers'd be good for, but she probably wouldn't've understood. So fucking innocent. She probably just wants to cut them off and put 'em at the top of her little shrine or something.

Dammit Vito, you ain't even talking to anyone else. Got a table all to you and her. I am this close to getting my hairspray on at you, and you know how I hate wasting a good spray. Is she really that fucking special? Even when you're playing this Mike guy, you'd think you'd get bored soon enough.

...Still, guess that's how it works for 'em. Good girls. Everyone wants them; they're all nice and pretty and shiny and shit, and the second they don't put out, boom – off they go. Seems a fair enough system to me.

Pity. Must be it. Vito feels sorry for her, so he's playing her little boyfriend – ain't like she's gonna get it anywhere else. Aww, honey's got a sensitive side! Gotta say, he's doing a damn thorough job of it. Still, my baby's an actor, that's nothing to be ashamed of.

...To be honest, I wouldn't mind him showing a little of that sweet-nurturing to me every once in awhile. Don't get me wrong, I like my men manly, but – ain't I his girl? It'd be nice to get some loving other than the hair-wrecking kind – I don't know, a day out, some fancy romantic gesture, bunch of flowers, presents – I really could do with some new bling.

Boy knows how I love my shiny things.

Eh, whatever. I mean, it ain't like I mind what's going on now – even if it's so fucking hard to make him stick around long enough to get much of anything done. Still, less stress to the hair, and that's gotta count for something.

Still, he could try being gentle sometimes, y'know? Still got bruises on my hips from the last time we made out. I don't mind a guy getting rough sometimes, but he grips harder than Dave when he used to–

Ugh, whatever. That guy was a total psycho.

Zoey is offering him some of her – uh, gruel? Vito loves me. He totally loves me. We were made for each other! Zoey only likes him when he's doing that whole Mike thing; she actually believes that's him, huh? Stupid bitch. What guy even acts like that anyway?

He's even taking the fucking gruel! What the hell is wrong with him? Vito, honey, she wears pigtails. She'll have some other guy come along and get her hopes up that he actually likes her before dumping her for someone who'll put out, don't you worry. You don't have to do this anymore, baby! She doesn't need you!

...He spends so much time as Mike. Way more than any of the rest he has – I first met him as Mike! Took forever 'til I saw the real him! He's getting taken over. Like a fucking alien virus or something. It's gonna – he's gonna stop. Gonna walk out as fucking Mike, good guy and gentleman and that stupid flowery nice bitch's boyfriend. Not fair. So not fair.

He'll walk out as Mike. Mike'll go and Vito'll just leave me behind, be some other guy who... Dammit, it ain't my fucking fault if guys don't ever respect my hotness; I do everything they damn wish and that's how they repay me? Uh-uh. Bad enough hearing what the girls I know are saying, least I can get is some fucking slack from the guys I'm doing this for.

Vito'll go. He'll – Mike'll – whoever's gonna up and leave this competition, and when he does, he'll look at me and...

I'll just...