Chapter one

Everyday life

I shivered as the cold morning wind blew over my dozing face, and woke me from my deep sleep. I didn't want to move, the bed seemed so confortable this early in the morning, and the cold air surrounding me made the cosy bed so inviting. The door slammed continuously, every bang making me wake a bit more. I sighed; a puff of air emerged from my mouth, showing me the cold. I hated my room in the morning, every surface was cold and the duvet seemed the only thing that was hot. I looked around a bit, checking if there was anything I could get told off for- and I found twenty. Luckily, this early in the morning, my mother's eye sight isn't the best and she seems to just swoop in, wake me up and she's gone. I heard a few creeks from outside, making my heart sink at the thought of who it was, even though I knew who it was and what they wanted.

I closed my eyes, pretending to sleep, as they came and pushed the door open, closing it with force. They waited for me to wake up, but the warmth of the bed was far to inviting. I didn't want to move- but I could feel her getting even more close to my body and I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit. My mother always came in uninvited and she doesn't let me even get an alarm clock because this is a tradition, but it's not a good one. I heard them sigh, and then they brought in a huge gasp of air and shouted in an alarming fashion.

"Shayla, wake up!" The loud noise shook my system but I still couldn't get up. I opened my eyes to see the most disgusting face, my mum, right in front of me, breathing heavily on my face. "You're awake, great! I thought I was going to have to waste some more oxygen shouting." I sat up in my bed as she began to walk around my room, going through my wardrobe she slumped a bit of clothing on my stool. "School is in one hour and breakfast is down stairs. Clothes on stool but if you don't want that I have a couple more options downstairs on the sofa." I wiped my eyes, trying to take in all the information she was shovelling my way.

She left, slamming the door behind her; the stairs creaked as she went down them. I flopped back down on my bed, pushing the duvet over my face. I sat there for five minutes, wondering about the day but the realization i had school made me jump out of my bed. I looked at the clothes on my stool as i wrapped my dressing gown around me. Jeans, a floral top and leather coat I sighed, nothing matched in that outfit just like my life. I shoved it all on, and raced downstairs into the living room.

I saw several outfits displayed on the sofa, most of them more hideous than the one I was actually wearing. I walked into the kitchen to be greeted by my brother sitting at the dining table, eating five slices of toast with extreme amounts of jam and two boiled eggs sat on another plate next to him with piles of salt the height of Everest. He stuck out his half-eaten bread covered tongue at me, showing me everything he had forgotten to swallow in the past. His brown hair flopping over his eyes, making him have to whip it off his face every five seconds. His clothes were dark brown, grey or black; he was an emo or Goth (I had no idea seeing as he changed his mind about as many times as he swishes his hair.)

I walked towards the fridge, pulled out a juice cartoon and grabbed a glass from the side. I poured it in, trying to ignore my brother scowling at me. My dad was buttering toast beside me, wiping his egg head from the sweat which was dropping down on his toast as he stressed about the day. He had brown eyes that matched his over grown beard. He sat down on our round table with four chairs on the side. One was being occupied by my brother and my dad had occupied the one next to him. I placed some bread into the toaster and hung around for a minute sipping my drink, waiting for the toast to pop. As I waited for the popping sound, I watched my dad eat his half buttered toast, leaving butter and crumbs in his beard, licking his lips, only just missing the butter situated in the middle of his moustache.

Once the toast popped, I had to choose the spot I was going to sit on at the dining table. I either sat next to my annoying brother, who was almost certain to kick me, or the beardy, bold old man who sat next to him, looking like a frog as he sprung his tough for the butter in the middle of the moustache. I decided to sit by my dad, although my plan didn't work as my brother seemed to have grown his legs enough to kick me, and got stronger so the kick hurt even more. Yet, my dad never noticed seeing as he was still in a spot of trouble, trying to eat the toast without facing the problem of butter in his beard again. My dad jumped up and kissed me on the four head before making his way to work.

I ate my toast fast, fast enough to beat my brother and mum to the only bathroom as well as the only room in the house with a mirror. I raced up and locked the door, trying to ignore the knocking from outside and the begging to use the toilet.

"What do you want?" I yelled as brushed my teeth.

"Look I am desperate, just let me in before I force myself it!" My brother's speech wasn't important, what was important was my hair

It sticks out everywhere, taking several brushes to tame the wild beast. I pushed up my hair into a pony tail, making me look slightly nerdy but giving off the impression that I didn't want romance. I spotted my comfy jumper, so quickly shoved off my leather jacket, and snuck into my room.

My mum and brother raced up the stairs, stomping like elephants in a bundle before hurdling themselves at the toilet. I closed the door, not wanting to see any more of my embarrassing household. I walked towards my desk; it was organized with pencils and pens, neatly stacked in their holder. My room is messy, the wardrobe is no more organized then a pig stile and my floor aren't any better. I have a laptop; it's very large and stays on the top of my desk all the time, my escape from my insane life. It was 8:00 by the time I had finished messaging Stacey on Facebook, so I decided it was time to leave for school.

I had just got up when a knock came from my door. You know when you knocks and actually waiting for them to let you in, well my mum knocks but decides to come in a second later, if you weren't fast enough to answer in that short amount of time. She barged her way into my room towards my wardrobe with some clothes, muttering under her breath something about 'sandwiches' and 'cheese'. She placed the clothes on the hanger, almost forgetting I was there, and walked back out. I was stunned but decided I had much more important things to do than laugh at my family.

I walked down the stairs, grabbed my sandwiches and yogurt from the side and placed them in my school bag. I rushed out the door, trying to avoid having to walk with my brother to school, I couldn't spend more than 5 minutes with him and the walk is about 15 minutes. I walked towards the shops at the end of the road. I walked down to the end of my road and turned into the alley way. Trying to avoid pieces of glass, I eventually reached the woods.

I walked through the forest, watching the squirrels run up the tree as I came to close for comfort. Out the corner of my eye I swear I saw someone, but I kept on walking until the sound was gone. I kept walking, looking at my feet as I shuffled the last of the autumn's leaves under my feet. I exited the forest to be greeted by swarms of people by the road side, police cars and ambulances. The one sound I heard stuck with me, the screaming of my brother. I pushed towards the front of the block of people, charging towards my brother who was lying on the floor.

I knelt down beside him, tears dropping down onto the pavement as I hugged him to my chest, watching him be shipped into the ambulance. I ran into the ambulance, and sat beside my brother as they shut the double doors behind us. He had an oxygen mask on and the doctors wouldn't stop moving him all the way to the hospital. They didn't even tell me what was going on, what had happened or talk to me at all… I felt like a ghost, unable to help, to be heard or seen. I just wanted to go back, make my brother walk with me, look after him like I should've done rather than leaving early.

Chapter 2

When it all changed

We got to the hospital and three doctors were there already, poised and ready to drag him into the hospital. I couldn't run like they were, so I waited… hoping that this was a dream. My mother and father got there 10 minutes later; they dragged me to see what was going on. We were greeted by a doctor, he was holding a clip board, which I thought was just there to seem smart. He kept saying 'everything was fine', 'he is stable', but the one thing I understood was 'he was in surgery.' My mums face sunk as the doctor prepared to tell us what had happened.

"Your brother, or son, was on his bike. He was obviously trying a new trick through the trees in the forest. He had found a ramp made out of mud and was trying to lift his bike high enough and flip around… but unfortunately it didn't go to plan." He paused, looking at our expressions before continuing. "By the skid marks it shows that he landed on the side of his bike, and banged his head on a tree in front before carrying on skidding at a fast pace. As he was only a few meters away from the road he skidded into the road, and a car was coming. Luckily, he wasn't hit, but his leg was run over and crushed by this car. His heart isn't in a steady beat at the moment; we need further test to come to a conclusion into what to do. I am so sorry, he is in surgery for his leg still, and we just need to hope for the best." He walked away, leaving us dying inside.

Tears streamed down our face as we imagined the pain he went through. If only I had walked with him, and then I would've had the chance to stop him. The doctor's words were almost like a knife, cutting my heart to pieces with every word. Every tear rolling down my cheek was a sign for every memory we had had together, good and bad. The worst thing was the look on my mums and dads face, watching theirs heart sink as they heard their son 'might not make it.' The one thing that stopped me from screaming was the feel of my dad's hand on my hand, the feel of the squeezes he sent me that felt full of love. My mum, on the other side of me, hugged me tighter then I think anyone has ever.

We sat there, watching doctors walk past with their white coats and clip boards, talking to the nurses with such authority. No doctor ever came to us; they all looked at us though, trying to find the story behind our eyes, but none of them ever dared ask. Those strange looks made us feel like objects. The sick people that walked past made us feel worse; knowing that soon one of those people would be their son and my brother.

I watched the world go by, but nothing stopped me from thinking about all those things that my brother had said, done and taught to me. I remembered the time we had gone to the park. It was raining, cold and no one else was out. We were alone with the swings, slide and the trees surrounding us. He grabbed my 5 year old hand and hoisted me onto the seat of the swing, whipping the rain off before. He grabbed the rope, and swung me so hard I could've swarm I touched the sky, and as I came down I saw he face full of a smile from ear to ear. That was one of the worst days for weather that everyone always moaned about, but that was the best day for me.

I got up, walked to the coffee machine and placed a shining one pound coin into the machine, watching in fill the coffee up into the cup. My mum was now asleep on my dad's shoulder, and my dad was in the biggest day dream. At that point I felt alone in the world, like no one was there to help me, no one was there to hold my hand or tell me it was all going to be alright. I grabbed the coffee and headed towards the exit sign, deciding I needed air. Doctors pushed past me as I exited the accident and emergency double doors, heading towards the bench by the bus stop.

I sipped my coffee as I watched a bus came along. It was a number two bus, the number of my brother's football shirt. He was always excellent at football, he was centre midfield and he used always score, every game. I would occasionally be on the side lines, cheering him on, but sometimes I couldn't be bothered- and now I wish I was, because that means I would've had more time with him. My dad would be there, whether it was raining, sunny, cold or windy.

I looked at that bus, looked at it waiting there for someone to board it, so I did. It was a quick decision, and a foolish one, but I needed to go somewhere no one would know I was. I sat behind a dirty man, with his feet with no shoes on, full of blisters. He smelt like rotten egg, but the smell of the bus wasn't pleasant either. There were only whispers, no cheerful talk on this bus, everyone seemed so gloomy but it was nice to get away from my mums sad face. I bundled up in a ball on my seat, pressing my chin into my knee as the bus drew to a stop. I just sat there, watched people get up, and then placed my head back in between my legs and tried to avoid eye contact with anyone. I stayed in my own bubble until someone sat next me, you can't sit like that when you have someone trying to get through your personal bubble.

I sorted myself out, straightened my legs and watched out of the window, looking for something, but I don't know what. I turned to get a glimpse of the person almost popping my bubble. It was a girl; she had blonde highlights over her dark brown hair that flopped over her eyes. Her eyes were brown, but they had a hint of green hidden in the corner. She wore a cardigan, something about Canada was written on it, and her jeans were torn with mud stains at the bottom. The thing that I noticed the most was how she was carrying a small box, full of stuff that I recognized, from my past.

"What's in that bag?" I said with curiosity written all over my face. I turned realizing how rude I was being, "not that it concerns me but… I'm a nosey person, ok?" I stared at her, waiting for her to answer me.

"Well, you could say it's your past in a box… I guess it's like your memories in a way?" She stared at me and smiled. How was she supposed to know what my memories were, how was she supposed to know that my teddy 'onkie' was one of my memories because I was the first person 'onkie' touched. The box was covered in my favourite flower pattern which covered my bed covers as well as my wall paper. I remember one time I was with my brother, he had taken me to the park like on the rainy day but this was way before this. He was trying to teach me to ride a bike and we stayed all day, falling in those flowers in the pattern when I finally got it. He pulled out one of the flowers from the ground and pressed it into my hair- I still have it now.

I looked around me, realizing I hadn't done it in a while. There was no one there, I had never seen that before, but I guess it's not such a big thing. I turned away from the strange girl sat next to me to look out the window, but I was dark outside, there was no clouds, no sea, no houses… nothing! I squeezed past her and walked towards the driver's seat, expecting she would know something about the darkness.

The driver was there, hiding her face, and not even holding the wheel, all the driver was doing was looking out the window. "Hello?" I waited for an answer before deciding to continue. "I was wondering if you could explain the sudden stop in the darkness."

The driver turned around, and I recognized there face. The driver was a girl, she had blonde highlights over her dark brown hair and… waits, and she looks exactly like the girl sat next to me. I closed my eyes, hoping I was dream but as I open it, she was still there. I looked at the driver once more and then turned sharply to see if the girl next to me was still there.

She was sat there, looking at me with her legs crossed with a condescending smile written onto her face. I edged towards her, turning to look at the driver once and a then turning back to the grinning beast.

"What is going on?" I asked, creasing my face to look curious. She didn't answer so I continued to speak continuously, letting everything out. "I don't get it; I've had a normal life up to these last two nights. It starts with breakfast in the morning, a short walk to school and then the most boring 6 hours of my life at school." I turned to her, asking for some guidance, but she just stared at me. "Now you're sat there, both of you, looking at me, not telling me anything. I just don't get why I'm here, what's here and how I can get back to my normal life."

I sat down on the two chairs opposite her, looking at her, then looking out into the darkness to see if anything there could lead me. Nothing, the bus had no posters around it, the stop buttons had gone, and all there was is darkness, nothingness in fact. I didn't want to speak, she wasn't telling me anything so I felt like it was a waste of breath. I walked towards the door, hoping this was the way out…

"I wouldn't do that yet." The driver said, "It won't open until I press the button, and well, I'm not going to press the button." She said, smiling from ear to ear at me, almost waiting for the frown so I did so, "Part of the rules I'm afraid."

I walked towards the lady that was sat next to me. "I don't get it, I don't know who you are, what your name is, where I am! I haven't asked…" I looked at her, waiting for the answers. "Why don't you speak, why can't you even answer my questions?"

"Firstly, I do speak. Secondly, my name is isn't your business; just call me 'angel'." She looked at me for approval, but my face almost spoke 'what is she getting at?' so she continued. "Thirdly, you are in a bus heading towards, towards your dreams. Finally, I am your guide, I've always been your guide and I've am here to show you things you won't believe."

I stared at her for a minute, wondering whether to believe her. "What if I don't want to be here, go there and meet you? What if I want to go back to the hospital and cry away at my brother's side?" I yelled, staring at her with widened eyes, trying to understand.

"Look, you need to be here, and you have to be anyway. I was the reason you got on the bus in the first place, and beside you don't really want to go back to that hospital?" I looked at her, realizing how realistic she was being. I didn't want to go back to that building that pleads upon the sick, making them better by sticking needles in them. "I know you, and later on you will understand why I brought you here, but right now you need to trust me, do you trust me?" I looked into her emerald green eyes, and then at her brightly coloured purple shoes (which I had asked my mum for on my birthday.) She seemed nice, she looked kind of cool, and her face looked so friendly it was hard to resist.

"I do, I just don't understand." She smiled a pointed out the front windows of the bus. It was finally no longer dark. The sky was bright blue, with the sun shining through the couple of clouds in the sky. Houses filled most of the ground below, yet it still looked like the countryside, it was like a proper town. People waved at me as we drew near to the bus stop, I looked at the driver to see whether she would press the button as we edged closer. We stopped by the bus stop, behind it was a small gift shop called 'Love' and next to it was a hair salon called 'care.' The driver opened the door, and as I smiled and headed to the door, something grabbed my arm. I turned; the girl was there, smiling at me as she squeezed my arm tightly.

"You know what to do," she began although I didn't and showed this by a confused face, "you will understand, give yourself some time."

She walked back into the bus and sat in the same seat as the bus began to move, leaving me standing there cold and confused about where I was and what I was doing here. There was a bench beside me by the bus stop. I sat on it for a while, watching people walk past so happy and pleasant but they seemed so familiar. The shops were colourful, and the names stood out. Some were called 'being better'; others were 'the road to forgiveness.' I couldn't help but close my eyes, dreaming of my home and the family I had left, wondering why I ever let my brother get into that situation. If I had just walked with him, I thought to myself as I began to drift off. Something woke me, however, something that seemed strange to me… quiet.

I opened one eye, almost thinking that whatever had made this silence wouldn't be able to see me if I only had one eye open. Yet when I looked with one eye, nothing caught my attention, no one was there but nothing had made this happen. I opened both eyes and scanned my surroundings, looking for movement anywhere. Nothing happened, no rustles or footsteps, not even the shops made noises. I stood up gradually, precautious of what may have happened whilst I was sleeping.

I walked away from the bench, and crossed the road by the bus stop, looking around in confusing but continuing with no doubt there wasn't any cars. I crossed to the other side, which seemed slightly different to the side I was on earlier. The pavement was cracked, and seemed almost hazardous compared to the sleekness of the other pavement on the other side. The shop names were different, gloomier, like 'perfect death,' or 'there's no darkness in light.' Yet adjacent was the 'perfect romance.' Nothing made sense, this whole world was confusing, how did I even get here, why I am here and where has everyone gone?

I turned quickly, sure that I had heard something behind me, not footsteps but some kind of noise. I turned back to look at the shops, looking out the corner of my eyes for signs of movements. Suddenly a bang came, just like that I was facing him… the creature.

Chapter 3

The creature

I had never seen anything like it, nothing so different to my face or any animal I had ever seen. He was small, smaller than anyone I had ever seen and his eyes seemed disproportionate to his body because they were so big. His feet were life fins, so flat they seemed to flop as he moved slowly backwards. He only had 3 fingers, and they had bobbles at the end, but with no nails on. He wasn't skinned coloured at all; it was a kind of pale purple colour.

I stared into his huge eyes, looking deep into then, almost seeing the sadness in his eyes. I walked across the road towards him, like I was hypnotized… but I stopped in the middle of the road, and scowled at him curiously. I waited there for what felt like a year, staring at him, almost waiting for him to break this unbearable silence that stood between us.

"Are you… Shayla?" asked the small purple blob, fiddling with his fingers nervously and staring at the ground as he said it. I nodded, "I think, I think you… you need to follow me." He walked away nervously, shuffling his flat feet on the ground as I crossed the road cautiously.

I followed him, probably a mile behind him but I still knew the direction. We walked, and walked, so slowly that I felt like a snail but we still ended up getting to what he called 'our destination.' I looked around at our 'destination', looking for something but I wasn't sure what. I glared around, grass and trees surrounded me on both sides and apple trees lay on the other side of the pavement I was standing on. In front of me was a different image, still pretty but much more medieval. A castle stood there, made of perfectly curved stone, surrounding glass- filled windows and doors. Water surrounded the castle all around, only a bridge could get you to the doors.

"Shayla, we must continue to the castle, some ones there you know." He led me on, across the bridge and through the glass door.

I stood in the middle of the courtyard, the castle surrounded me, flowers springing from the grass and a couple of benches sat in the middle. It wasn't quiet anymore, someone was coming and by the fuss, she sounded important. A row of almost the same creatures as the one that I followed came in, yet they were different colours, some yellow, pink, light blue but no dark colours. They made 2 adjacent lines starting at the glass door and heading towards me, and bowed their heads down as low as they could. I stood there, glaring at the glass door, waiting for something to come through, and then she came.

There she was entering in a white coloured dress with occasionally spots of bright colour around the rim of her dress. Her hair was curled but placed in a messy bun up with a hair band stuck behind her two ears. She walked holding hands with two of the larger monsters, both the same colour. She smiled at me, and I couldn't help but feel I knew her from somewhere, something about her made me tingle inside, something sparked da jar vu.

I glared at her, not smiling but more judging her even though my mother always says 'don't judge a book by its cover!' I started closer at her features; those were the things that I felt I'd seen before. I looked into her eyes as they met mine, she was so close to me now I felt like I could judge her better but it was like I had a mind blank. She smiled, showing her bright white teeth that made my mouth form a smile. She held out her hand for me to shake, and so I did so, her hand was so warm and seemed so gentle.

"My name is Shayla," began the lady in the white coat. I looked suspicious at her, realizing her name was mine. "Nice to meet you and this is my castle. Not so too big, cosy enough and has a homely sense in it I feel." She began to walk around the bench, still looking at me as she was speaking, "I think you will be fine here for the time being. I know it's scary… and I know you have many questions which I will answer at dinner, but for now you need to wash up and get some new clothes on." She looked at me, smiling and almost glowing as she asked one of the monsters to take me to my room.

I walked of, still confused about what had just happened and how that moment of my life had happened so quickly. He took me through a wooden door, up some stairs and towards a door on the 2nd level. The little monster reached for the door handle, only just getting it by jumping and pulled it for me to let me in. I looked around; it was everything I'd see before. It opened into a wide living room, this living room was exactly like the one at my own home, and the lay out was the same, same furniture, same colour scheme. The doors were in the same place as my house, and the carpet felt the same under my torn shoes. The only difference was rather than having stairs, it was all fitted onto one level, but nothing else had changed.

I walked forward, analysing it all around, looking for one difference to the one that I called home. I turned towards the door, looking at the monster with confusion as he closed the door behind me. I watched the door for a second, and then moved myself towards the door which I guessed was my bedroom door. I gripped the handle and pushed it away from me, slowly walking in after the door. I looked around, but it seemed different to my room at my real home, not because of the looks of it because that was the same, but because of the feeling. I sat on my bed, and looked out the window, hoping to see the sight I always see when I look out my window at home.

The sight outside was strange. You could see the water which surrounded the castle just underneath the window; a stone wall was on the other side of the water. Yet further on was different, for the first mile or so there was perfect country side like I had walked through to get to the castle, but further on there was only darkness. There was like a line in the sky and on the ground, like a wall that separated dark from light, and good from bad. I stared more closely at the darker side, and it almost looked burnt. In fact, if you look further back, there was some kind of fire, filling the sky with smoke. Even further, just behind the smoke, was a castle.

The castle wasn't as pretty as the one I stood in right now, it was so gloomy and seemed evil. The outside was dark black, and fire surrounded it, burning everything in its sight. There was a huge tower in the middle of the circle castle, it reached up into the sky and stood on top of what looked like a battle field. The flames made me shiver as I looked at the leaping up into the air.

I walked away from the window, wishing never to see such a sight again. I opened my wardrobe, looking for something suitable for what seemed like an important person with the same name. I pulled out some light blue jeans, a purple vest top and a black long cardigan and placed it on me. I then placed me hair up in a scruffy bun and put some lip stick on my lips before continuing down stairs.

I walked down the stairs slowly, wondering who she was and what questions I should ask her. I had so many, like whom the person on the bus was and why I was here and who she was, some many came into my mind but I had a short space of time to tell them all. I walked out into the courtyard and sat on the bench, waiting for someone to come out to tell me where to go. A taller, thinner monster came out. He was green and had one eye and the other was under a patch.

"My lady, your dinner will be served," he said as he pointed towards a door and I walked towards it. "May you enjoy yourself, and be good to Miss Shayla."

I walked through the door, looking behind me at the monster as I pulled it away from me and headed into a large hall way. In the middle of the hall way was a spiral stair case, and around it were walls full of doors. The monster had followed me in and opened the first door on my left before ushering me in.

The room had a long dining table centred in the middle of the room. Pictures hung on the floor, some looked familiar but I couldn't place them. On the far side of the long table was 'Shayla' dressed in an even whiter dress with diamonds on the edges. She smiled at me and followed me with her eyes, indicating for me to sit on the other end of the long table. I looked around the room once again, noticing the artefact's around me and the historical content of the room.

It was silent for a moment; I was thinking of a question, there was so many crowding up my brain. "Who are you?" I asked, staring at her as the waiters came in a placed the starter in front of us

She placed some food in her mouth. "As you may have noticed, my name is Shayla, just like you! Do you know why this is so important?" she said, looking at me and I shook my head. "I'm you!"

I stopped eating, looking at her so confused, still trying to understand what she had just said. "I don't… I don't understand? I'm me, your you, I'm guessing you're the leader of the monsters, I'm not." I stuttered as I said this, still working it out in my head.

"Look at me," I started at her, looking at her features again. "You know you've seen me before, you've seen me in the mirror. Shayla, I'm you in the future!" She said this with so much confidence I couldn't help but believe her.

"How could this be?" I asked, still confused. However much I believed her this didn't make sense.

She looked at me and smiled, "This world is what we call 'dream world', and everything you treasure or need to work on is here. Every side of you, every shape that makes you is here." She continued, trying to make me realize what's happening but I still didn't understand. "I'm what people might call your guardian angel, and I'm here to look after you. One day you will be me, and you will be looking at yourself just like now, I know is difficult to understand but soon you will understand why I'm here." She looked at me; her eyes glowing like my mum said mine always did.

"I still don't get it, where am I? How did I get here?" I continued to repeat these questions, always getting quieter every time I said it, almost trying to figure it out for myself.

"You will understand, for now I am only aloud to tell you what I have told you about this place." She said, trying to make me understand this by using similar terms but I still didn't understand. "You're here because of your sister," I stopped, looking at her curiously. "I know she was in an accident, and I know what's going through your head. It's not your fault, and this place is to show you that, to show you what is good and bad about you. You will understand, but it's too confusing to tell you now."

I looked at her, a moment of silence passed before any movement was made. I was unsure what to do, and I knew she knew what I was about to do even if I didn't. I got up from my chair, still staring at her as I walked through the door to the hallway backwards, eyeing her suspiciously before she was out of sight. I walked past the bench and began the journey up to my room, but stopped in the stair way.

There was a door, and I was sure it wasn't there before; I swear the first door I saw was the one leading to my room. On the door was a label saying 'It was not you!' I looked at it for a while, before deciding to open it. I gripped it tightly, before slamming it open and striding into the room. Except it wasn't a room, it led outside. I looked back; the door was just in the middle of the forest I now stood in. There were trees surrounding me, and a small bridge in front of me. As I looked round, I realized where I was, I was in the forest were I travelled to every morning, on the way to school.

I looked around, before noticing a small broken clock on the floor, ticking away even though the glass had broken on the screen. The time was 8:40, the exact time that morning I had walked through, the time just before the accident. I looked around, wondering where I was, and then I saw it, and I saw me. I was walking so slowly, looking around myself as well as at the squirrels running past me, getting too close for comfort. Then I realized something, this was the point I saw something out the corner of my eye that seemed to disappear. I watched myself, I watched as she looked around and then speed up before shrugging it off and then travelling through the clearing of the bushes.

I ran, trying to catch up with myself. Suddenly everything went slow around me and I began to spin, spinning as I saw my surroundings change to a bump in the ground. I was still in the forest, but in a different part of it further to the right slightly, where my brother was this morning. I looked around, realizing this was the place of the accident, this is where he fell of his bike and it was my entire fault. I stood there, starring in the direction of the house, waiting for my brother to come so I could at least try to stop him.

I saw him coming, I saw him spin out of control as he continued to stare at the floor, acting as though I wasn't there. He was looking directly at me, wobbling all over the place, but he still didn't say anything to me. The bump came, he braked but his brakes didn't seem to work, and he slammed, slammed straight through me. I rushed through my body as well as his bike. I turned, suddenly I was in slow motion and I saw it all. I saw him fly in the air as he goes on the bump, fall on the side of his bike and skids straight into the road. He wasn't moving; he just lay there, until the car came and swept him off his feet, missing his head but injuring his leg significantly. I ran, but I was in slow motion and no one else was, I couldn't help him, only watch as people crowd around him and me in the past pushes passed

I spin again, tears seeping out of my eyes as I land on my bum back in the stair way, with Miss Shayla next to me, or me in the future. She looked at me with sadness in her eyes, as she saw tears stroll down my cheek and land on the cold, stone floor. She landed me and hand and pulled me up to my feet before dragging me gently up another flight of steps.

She stared at me, "I know what you saw, and that is what this place is about, you need to understand it wasn't your fault, the brakes didn't work." She said softly as she held both of my hands in hers. "You saw for yourself, what happened wasn't you, and what is happening at the hospital isn't your fault." She whispered, so softly I could barely hear but it just rippled into my ears.

I looked at her again, analysing the last bit of what she just said. "What's happening at the hospital?" I said inquisitively, expecting an answer but only silence came.

"Your brother has had a problem with his heart," she answered, looking down at her diamond covered shoes. "He doesn't have long to live, and he needs a heart transplant." She looked at me as she continued. "He has a blood type called B-, a very rare blood type that not many people have, and no one else has that blood type- except for you."

"I don't understand, are you saying it's me or him?" I asked, glaring into her eyes for she knew the answer to all my questions, she had lived my life. "Tell me, do you want me to sacrifice my life for him?"

"I am asking you to see both of your futures, and see which one means more to you," She began, looking at me with her diamond eyes, "Just watch, and watch to see what it will do to the world."

I closed my eyes as I began to spin, and there I was, by my brothers bed, further on in the future than I had left him – just after I had sacrificed my life for the hope he would survive.

Chapter 4

What the world would be like with my brother.

My brother's face appeared beside me, wires coming out from everywhere and small stitches along his heart. The wires lead to small machine; it looked like it was keeping him alive with every beep it made. Next to my brother was a green chair, on it was mother, staring to my brothers eyes as he held his hands so tight. I swore I saw a tear role down her cheek but she wiped her eyes too quickly to be sure, I wanted to walk up to her and make sure she was ok but I already knew I was invisible to them. On the left side on my brother, the side of the machine was the door leading to the corridor where nurses came and went.

The corridor was wide, and many doctors ran past with worry on their faces as the nurses looked sorrowful, telling bad news to the patient's family.

I watched the world revolve around me, completely oblivious of the fact I was sat here watching them. They swopped past me, rushing, every step they took their faces became sadder. I looked back at my brother, the wires stilled made me cringe, but my mums face made me feel depressed. Suddenly, one of my brother's eyes began to open as he began to look around. Mother jumped out of her seat, yelling 'nurse, nurse.' I turned around towards the door, watching nurses from every direction swarm to my brothers side as my mum stood there holding his hand so tightly it began to go red.

I watched my mother's face brighten up, but I could help but realize that I was going to miss this; every movement people made was at the absence of me. I was lucky to even witness this, but I would never see my brother awake again. The world sped up; everything moved so quickly around me it became a blur. I closed my eyes, wishing the tears would stay in my eyes but they just crawled down my face.

I landed back in the hall way, Shayla towering above me, almost glowing with the sparkle of her diamond shoes. I turned away from her, unable to believe what I just witnessed, unable to contemplate the decision placed before me. Out the corner of my eye I could see Shayla looking at me, feeling my pain as she watched me grip the floor for stability as I began to feel dizzy. I stared at her once more, looking deep into her eyes, wishing for her to tell me the decision, but she just clicked her fingers and I landed in my house.

I looked around the hallway, the living room to my left and the stairs in front of me, luring me in. I grabbed hold on the banister and levered myself up the first step. I made my way slowly to my brothers' room, only a white room in the way of me and my brother. It was in the future, past the hospital and to the life without me. I wished I could just waltz in there, feel invisible once more and watch his life go by, but I couldn't bring myself to face him. I just stood in the hallway, looking at the door when my mother walked up the stairs and just started at the door in longing- longing for something I couldn't read on her face.

Her smile had disappeared off her face, like it had been extinct for many years. She stopped, holding the washing she had been lugging up in on hand as she stared, almost hypnotized by the door as she began to move into the bathroom. She placed the washing in the washing basket and rummaged through it for something- something hidden from my sight but something imprinted in the mind of my mums. She stood there, leaning against the frame of the door as she thought- and it was almost like I could read her thoughts, 'why?' she thought, 'why?' That's when she turned away and headed down the stairs, leaving me looking confused, unable to read why she would be thinking that.

I walked towards my brother's door, noticing several signs all basically saying 'do not enter, own privacy need.' I closed my eyes, wishing this was the beginning of his life that he was going to live an amazing life that means people live when they would've died- but this wasn't a good start! I opened my eyes again, and walked straight through the door, realizing just before I was like a ghost and that was perfectly normal in most ghost books.

When I got in, I was met with the stench of the most disgusting this blended together and poured continuously in this room. The floors were sticky, but shoes kept getting stuck and I would have to peel the strawberry sticky liquid of the before continuing through the heaps of mess. Imagine this, the smell of rotten socks, way more they just one pair, more like the amount you use in a year and a half. Dirty clothes stuck to the floor, smelling like B.O, meaning deodorant was a complete 'no' to this boy. Piles of plates were stacked on his desk, covered in food I could only describe as mouldy cat food mixed with marmite and then blended with a few toe nail chippings. Next to it was a glass, tipped on its side with a drop of red liquid left inside it, obviously he has spilt it and that's what kept my shoes stuck to the floor. To the left of his desk was his bed, and it obviously hadn't been cleaned or made since last century as it had B.O stains on it and Food stains on the sheets.

I glanced around the room once more, taking in the smell, my first impressions and that early sound my brother was playing- rock music! I am not a fan, but what surprised me was the sudden shock that my brother was actually in the room- and he was staring at me. I didn't understand why, maybe there was something behind me that was luring him in- but he looked right at me- right at my heart. I looked at him, just looked at him for a long while, the rock music blazing in the background as we stood their silently.

"You can see me-right?" I glared at him as he nodded and then turned away towards the door. "I'm not dead like you think- I'm actually from- from the past," I said, glaring at his wide eyes and open mouth as I fiddled with my brown streak of hair. We stay like that, the only words any of us have spoken, but it didn't stop me from think, how can he see me?

"I don't understand- you- you gave me your heart, you can't be standing there in my room, is this because of the way I've been living my lift?" He glares at me, our eyes meet for a second but I looked away, "I've been mourning, grieving over you! I know- I know we were horrible to each other, but-" He stares right into my eyes, looking deep in to my soul for a few moments, "I love you, I always have and I couldn't help but hurt inside when I woke up- woke up without you by my side." He stared out the window towards the park behind the forest. Not saying a word, but neither was I, I never realized I meant that much to him. "You know, I met you in my dreams? Not you exactly- but you in the future." He laughed, but only for a second and not a very convincing one at that. "She told me, I am your sister, this is what will happen to me when- when she give you the heart you need to survive." He whispered this, in a croaky voice, "I didn't know- I didn't know you were going to give me your heart- and now look what I'm doing to it! I'm wasting the life you could've had." He sat on the floor, looking at it as he picked small pieces of carpet off and threw it behind him.

I looked at him for a moment before deciding to sit on the floor too. "You know when I said I wasn't dead? You remember that don't you?" He nods but still doesn't look at me, "I'm in the process of seeing what I do with my heart, I'm watching what will happen if I give you my heart- and- and I don't know what to do." I glare at him as he lifts his head up a bit. "It's too much to explain right now, I was met- like you- by me in the future, and she gave me two options, this is the first one." I glare at his shocked face, "What do you want me to do?"

His face froze, leaving a sweep of silence between us for longer than I could manage, "I would want you to be happy, not me- I would want you to live on 'coz it's not your fault what I did- It was my mistake not yours!" He stood up and walked towards his wardrobe, pulling out a small box of things. He laid it on his bed before removing the cardboard lid very slowly, very carefully. He took out the small cover which hid the content underneath it, and laid it on the bed on top of the lid. He took out a teddy, 'onkie' and then I realized- this is the box the girl had on the bus, what she calls 'my part in a box.' She had got it off of my brother; my brother had kept all my precious things, all the memories in a box.

"You- you kept all this? All my stuff, you don't know how much this means to me!" I look at him, eyes lit up with delight as I searched it for the things my life was about, coming across many old teddies, my favourite pillow and recipe for my amazing biscuits I use to always make. I rummage right to the bottom, coming across a photo, a photo of that rainy day when we went to the park- the best day, and I will always remember it. I stared at him then back at the box.

"I am still mourning- I haven't had a life! I want to but- I can live without you, I can't leave you in the past!" He looked at the floor, not wanting to see my eyes staring at him with pity.

"Look at me," I watched his eyes meet mine before continuing, "I want to save you- I really do, and I want a reason to save you." I glare at him, eyes pleading for him to understand, "Live your life like I was never there, keep this box and only sometimes look at it. You have to live where I couldn't- you understand that, right?" My eyes searched him for an answer.

"I will, you will watch me won't you? Watch my life gets back on track like you wish?" He looks at me, eyes gleaming with pride with that small sparkle of happiness seeping through the sadness as I nod.

"I must go," I say as I feel myself spinning around, "remember- live where I couldn't!"

I land on my bum, feeling the cold stones under my bum and the heat of the future me's breath on my face. I stood up, looking up at her before realizing her change in clothes. She wore bright yellow dress and white heels covered in diamonds. I stared at her; she seemed worried- like I had done something wrong.

"You shouldn't have talked to him- you shouldn't have gone it," she paces around the hall way before glaring at me. "I don't understand why you did that- well, I do but still!" She said, but I can't help wonder why it is such a big deal. "He was supposed to live like that, and do you know why I'm here?" She looks at me, not waiting for an answer before continuing. "I'm here because I'm supposed to help you choose you to stay in this world- I was supposed to not let you go in that room! I couldn't help but let you do it, it help be choose and I just wanted you to see it. And now- now I have to show you what he does in his future, and the people higher up then me won't like your reaction." She walks around a bit more before placing her head in her hands, whispering something I can't understand. She straightens her- self up and whips her tear filled hands on her dress before clicking her fingers and I'm gone.

I land in the middle of a field, looking around me before realizing I am alone. Looking behind me to realize I am at the bottom of a mountain- not a big one but one you just can't miss. I begin to walk up it, running out of breath half way up but knowing I have to keep going- knowing this is the way I'm supposed to go. I get up to the top, and I'm shocked by the view.

Construction work was taking place everywhere, but nothing like what you see around the local area, it was more high- tec. I looked around before making my way down the hill on the other side towards the builder's houses, looking for my brother. Then I realized what I was seeing- this wasn't a place to build house or shops, this was where they were building a rocket. I gasp at the sight of a huge metal contraction in the middle, holding a rocket shaped skeleton. Everything around me speeds up as I watch it all being made, watching people gasp as someone very familiar gets out the limo to inspect the work going on, realizing very quickly that he was my brother.

The skeleton becomes a full rocket in time, then watching as crowds of people come for the grand opening. I walk through the crowd, brushing across people's shoulders, watching as they flinch for a moment and then shrug it off. I know I am invisible, and that's when I decided that I was getting on that rocket. A huge swoop of wind made a newspaper land on my face, the date sticking in my head 27/04/2020, nine years after my death- he would have been around 23. I swarmed towards the rocket and ran straight through the walls of it, landing in a control room.

I waited on the floor for a while, waiting for something but I was unsure who it was or what I expected it to be. I heard the crowd roar outside, but I was too small to see out the window to check what the fuss was about. Footsteps came from the hall way attached to the door beside me; I could just make out a man dressed in a space suit carrying his space hat. I looked right into his eyes as he made his way towards me, he couldn't see me like he could last time- and that made my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. I watched him take the controls and sit there; looking out the window as if it was the last time he would be able to. Others came in, around 3 more people joined him and after around half an hour the countdown had commenced

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, the milliseconds in the last second taunted me until final I was flung at a high speed up into the sky, the clouds of smoke surrounding the rear end of the rock as we blast into space. I see my brother's face, grin for ear to ear like I've never seen before- this is what he wants, this is what he deserves. I look at it as in continues to be plastered on his face as we see the stars there, right in front of us, you suddenly feel like u could just grab the star from the sky and keep it. I watch as all the controls are switched, turned, pressed and pulled, pushing us closer to the destination I was unsure of just yet.

They're hats are taken off and I could suddenly take in the beauty of the brother in front of my, such happiness sad inside him, no more emo or Goth inside him, pure angel. I close my eyes, wishing for this to be over, for me to see the end of this happy tale. Yet I stay where I am- I'm no longer a loud to wish to get back. I sit there, waiting for someone to get up, turn around and maybe see me just sat there in the rocket. A smaller man than my brother stood up and through his gloves into the air, watching as the sink to the ground, not hovering or gliding through the sky like it used to. He turned, looked straight through me and continues to walk out, pulling out wires from the side of the shuttle and fiddling with it until he was satisfied with the result which wasn't at all obvious.

My brother just stood there, not even thinking to turn around, just so absorbed in the sudden rush of the whole universe. I saw that twinkle in his eye I'd only ever seen once before, when we found our hiding spot. No one else would find this hole in the bush as amusing as we did, we would crawl into it and stay there for ours. We first found it when we were riding our bikes down by the lake near our grandma's house. I stopped when I saw this hole; I clambered off my bike and headed towards it whilst my brother was confused on what I was doing. I climbed into it, thorns and branches stuck into me everywhere but when I got in there it was a complete open planned bush, with so much room to move in it was unbelievable. My brother sat there with me, we called in the hiding place, and he said 'whenever mum and dad argue, we come here, whenever school is bad, we come here, this is our place.' That's when I saw it in his eye, when he knew he had somewhere to hide, somewhere to just sit and talk to me with no other person listening in.

I walked towards the control part of the shuttle, looked all over, noticing the red button that looked like it need to be pressed- but that annoying 'for emergency's' was laying on top of it. I sat on the chair by it, looking at it every so often before continuing to scan the rest of the buttons. Then, I saw what I always wanted to see, a meteorite. It was so amazing, it was so far out but it looked like it was coming right at us, and that's when I realised. I wasn't on this ship to mask in the glory of my brother new found love for the world; I was here to see the death of my brother. A tear fell from my eye, dropping down onto the floor. I decided to sit in the corner of the ship; not wanting to witness what I knew what was going to happen. I must have sat there for around 2 hours, and nothing happened, but I continued to sit there until I heard shouting from every directed.

"Terry, come over here now, there is something wrong with this wire- it's not attached!" my brother announced with anxiety in his voice as I closed my eyes and listened.

"Oh dear god," Terry said as he looked around the shuttle, "I don't understand, this can't happen!" He ran towards the microphone that connected to what I presumed was the control centre, "Huston, listen- the B cord has come undone from the unit BX, I've tried to connect but it won't work, I need advice."

"I understand you, noticed it on our system, listen there is nothing we can do- we are trying to back up the system, hang tight 'till we can get the system up and running." He said, leaving the people on board stunned, including my brother.

"I don't understand, were supposed to stop? Or continue to mars?" Silence fell; this silence crept straight the way through the shuttle.

"Continue on the trek to mars, we need you- you know we do!"

The conversation stopped then, the hole of the ship just stopped for a moment, everyone's heart just stopped beating and nothing could break the tension.

"If we die, we die together- just wish my sister was her," my brother declared, looking down at his shoes before continuing to wall aimlessly around the shuttle.

A few hours past, we hadn't moved, but everything around us was moving so fast it was such an amazing sight to have as your last. I watched them stubble around, throwing wires everywhere but I just couldn't help thinking I would hate to have this as my last night, my last night of my life. Suddenly everything was in slow motion, everything caught my eye and then it all went dark. I watched as it all went silent and nothing else was to be said, and the last thing I saw was a flash of flame and I was back in the hall way.

Chapter 5

What Happened to me

Tears come flooding out my eyes as I see the grown up me hovering over my shoulder, looking at me with deep despair and understanding of the pain that was rushing through me. The room began to spin before she or I could say anymore, I landed in a hospital bed next to my brother. There was wires coming from every direction and I couldn't help but cry at the thought of witnessing his death again. Mother and I were sat in small green chairs whilst my dad was outside on the phone. Hours passed before a nurse and doctor came in with a clipboard in one hand.

They examined him, "your son or brother is in the worst state he has been so far- he is going downhill and we need a transplant very soon, but nothing is available." He glared into my mums tear filled eyes before continuing. "There is three options, number 1, we wait until something comes up which could take a long time and he will end up suffering and almost certainly after being unable to get a transplant- pass away." My mother closed her eyes as he continued, murmuring with little confidence. "Number two, we have already discussed, but the matter of one of you donating- losing your life for the cost of his. There have never been any cases of this, and if this was going to be done it is also very unlikely it would work but it is a small chance." My mother shook her head, dis guarding that option. "The final option is to put him to rest right now, turn of the machine and stop the suffering."

I looked at my mother; she had this decision hanging from her shoulders like I did with the decision between me or my brother. I could understand when she shooed him off; this was not what she wanted to have to decide. I looked around, seeing people going across the door, wheeling themselves in wheel chairs and pushing along drugs. I walked out the room, leaving my mum there so I could look around- I was no longer invisible looking around, I was there. I walked a while, loosing myself in all of the rooms- so many people were sick and I knew I couldn't help them, it made me feel sick. I walked past the waiting room, seeing people sat there crying their eyes out, waiting for their loved one to come out of surgery and somehow I knew some of them wouldn't make it. I had the same feeling as had when I got on the bus, I wanted to get away from this horrible place but this time I walked back to the room and sat with my mum because she needed me. It took me a long time to find my way back, but when I did I came back to my mother talking to the doctor again about the options.

"I wish this was easier to do but-"she stopped as she saw me come in, she managed a smile and continued, "I wish for you to put him to rest now, I don't want him to suffer any more than he already has." The doctor nodded and walked off for assistance.

"Mum, it will all be fine- you were right to do this." I hugged her before the room began to pin and I landed back with the future self.

I sat on the floor, not wanting to move, who would want to move when that had happened again. If only I didn't get on the bus, then this decision wouldn't be hanging over my head, I would be looking after my brother. I didn't want to see my future self who was so obviously there so I curled up in a ball. She stood there, just looking at me until I finally gave in a let her speak.

"You need a rest from this, let's have some dinner, a rest and wake up in the morning for the last bit of your journey." I glared at her, nodding, hopping I just wouldn't wake up in the morning.

We walked down the ever- lasting stares, into the court yard were the monsters were lined up, guiding us to our dinner. It seemed to be late at night, a full moon hung above our heads as we entered a different dining hall. There is painting of the monsters dancing on the walls, and a beautiful arch over the dining table which was fit for only two people. I sat down in a chair made of wood and waited for the food.

"You see, I told you that this would be difficult- but I wish for you to meet someone." She brought out someone I recognised. She had brown hair with a blonde highlight running down her face- it was the girl from the bus.

"So- we meet again?" She looked at me, smiling as she looked at my confused face, strolling around a bit before continuing. "On this bus, as you probably remember, I told you I was your guide, told you to call me angel? My real name is Lisa, I will explain later who I am but now you have to know you can't give up." She sat down beside me, glaring into my eyes. "The decision you are very soon going to make may change what happens in the future and the way your brother proceeds in the future. I don't want you to rest like Mrs amazing says over her, we are going back and then we will talk." The room began to spin and I landed in a room.

I was sat in a cold room with only one window on a grey coloured wall where I landed, my bum began to ache after all the dropping on my bum I had done these past few days. I looked around me, only for a minute before deciding to gaze upon the floor which I was sat comfortably on. I couldn't understand why I was here; there was not a soul around me and only one door which blended into the wall so you could only just make out the handle.

The handled turned, and suddenly I saw a friendly face. My future self-walked in, she was wearing a business skirt and a t-shirt tucked in with a cardigan over top with a black brief case, very posh and innocent but someone was following behind her. It was a man, he had not a hair on his head and was in a torn up shirt with black skinny jeans and grey trainers which scuffed the floor as he walked.

"See- I don't understand, you said we came here for business but why is there a camera on the wall?" The man said as he looked towards that camera placed in the far right corner which even I failed to notice.

"Clever, thought I had got you there," She glared at him, still as confident as ever, "I am a lawyer; I need evidence if I want to get my job done, and you're my job." She opened up a brief case and showed him something I couldn't see because of the angle. "Do you recognise this?" She pulled out a small piece of rope and a gun.

"Well aren't you smart," He said as he walked around the room, almost tripping me up but continued to waltz on as he can't see me. "However, I am smarter because you fooled for my trap, I didn't fall for yours!" He grabbed her. Started to strangle her but she just smiled.

"I win!" She whispered as she began to run out of breath, sirens, ambulance, fire and police sirens screamed through the air as he realised his grip from her throat and headed towards the door. He was quick enough as policemen came marching in and began to pin him to the floor.

"I arrest you on suspicion of ten murders; you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence which we will later rely on in court." The policeman pulled him out of the door, and ambulance men and women came to help my future self.

I saw them rushing, rushing around her like it was the end of her life- but I knew it wasn't, I couldn't be! They used sentences like 'she's not breath' and I couldn't help but stop breathing myself, people always want to know when they are going to dye but not I wish I didn't. I couldn't help but wonder if it was, but last time I knew it was my brothers so I continued to believe otherwise. I didn't follow myself to the hospital, I went to the police station to learn more about the impact I had on this world.

I walked into a normal interview room. There was nothing but grey and black everywhere, the walls, tables- even the voice recorder and it couldn't help but feel horrible. I closed my eyes for a moment, breathed and then continued to watch.

"Christopher Young is it?" The Police man implied as he went round him, knowing he was but clarification was given as the man nodded. "My Police woman has been investigating your part in the murders of 10 young women in the past month." He picked up a folder, flipping through it with disgust on his face. "The raid on your house was interesting, plans on killing every woman in England, including Scotland and Ireland- oh and wales! Bit too much I would say but I don't think your plan worked. For sure you were doing well, killing someone every three days- but it wouldn't last, you knew that when you started." He glared at him before continuing. "As I said my police women has been investigating and has come across DNA samples of your finger prints on London Bombing. As well as this, it was also used in several other gun equipment used in raids of shops, other murders and theft in ten different international banks."

"Seems like you have a hell of a women- shame its now 11 murders isn't it?" Christopher young smirked as the police officer moved away.

"She is in the hospital- I'm not sure if she will survive-"He played around with his wedding ring before continuing, "She is my wife."

Christopher began to laugh but stopped as he saw the stern look on his face. "We have three kids you know that? We were happy, living in a cottage in the country side. We have a dog, his name is Merlin, and he is completely demented. One day he ran straight into a lamp post- and then my wife did the same to show him it wasn't embarrassing." The policeman looked away, but I smiled because I knew I would marry such a wonderful, handsome man

He had brown hair, a fringe that was swept to the side and dark brown eyes that you could lose your thoughts in. He was very posh in the way he dressed, but the way he spoke sounded slightly Scottish but seemed to have faded through the years. He brought out a photo of the three children, smiling on 3 swings in a row, one blowing kisses at the camera, one smiling with a grin from ear to ear and the other sat on the swing reading a book. I couldn't help but feel a tear coming out of one of my eyes- these children wouldn't be in the world.

"Sir, we have a call for you in the next room- regarding your wife." My future husband looked at Christopher once more, and walked out of the room towards the phone.

I followed him, listening to the conversation between I presume a receptionist who continued to use words I could hardly understand. My husband smiled and walked off, happy as can be before going back into the room were Christopher was sat look glum.

"Ten murders, ten- not eleven, ten!" He smiled with glee as Christopher looked down at his feet, feeling utterly stupid. "She is the best woman in the world; cut the story short you will basically have a court case which I know will turn out with a life sentence. So why don't know go and live your rubbish life whilst I go and sit with my wife at her hospital bed!" He walked out, grabbing his coat, running and landing straight in his car.

I was so pleased this wasn't how I died; I watched them reunite with each other and then driving home to their three children. I saw my mum old, withered but somehow more happy then I had ever seen her, and I saw my dad with his ear piece in reading a newspaper in an arm chair. I saw a beautiful cottage with a garden surrounded by trees hiding a fence to the rest of the world; the garden had a paddling pool just by the door, a trampoline in the middle and acres of field with fresh strawberries lined up with the occasional raspberry bush in between. The house was huge; a room for each of the children for themselves with a toy cupboard full of toys and a family room sat in the centre of the house. The kitchen was closed off to the dining room and living room; it was very high Tec but seemed to look like an ordinary cottage kitchen with extra equipment. I saw them huddling together in a happy family, playing board games like monopoly, sat arguing over the dog but then smiling when my husband, john, brought two new dogs out so we all had one.

I sat there for a while, watching the world pass me by. Watching the children grows old and I grow old with John at my side, watching my mum and dad slowly wither away. I watched my children go to university, two get married and the other be career oriented- they had the perfect lives, and I wouldn't want to change that. A tear came from my eye as the room began to spin and I landed in a hospital, with me next to my husband in two hospital bed, holding hands as a slowly died and as did he. I saw when I was going to die, but I wasn't scared- I was pleased that I died the way I did. The room began to spin once more and I landed back in the dinner room floor, right by the seat were Lisa sat, drinking champagne and laughing at my effort to get up.

"Decisions, decisions- rule our world don't it?" she glared at me as I whipped my bum from the mud that was stuck on it.

"Listen, I have gone through six deaths and I still don't know who you are, explain for me please!" She glared at me and shook her head, getting up and walking around me, fiddling with her necklace that was wrapped around her neck with a golden chain and an owl at the end of the necklace.

"Sorry, I need you to make the decision before I can even think of telling you!" I looked at her smiling as she picked up a grape from the table and popped it in her mouth.

"Fine, tell you what, I want both of us to survive! For me to live my happy life whilst he lives his life and I can save him from the death in the shuttle. I would live my life happily exactly as you said but with my brother- is that an answer?" She smiled at me and clicked my fingers and it all went dark.

Chapter 6

The Bus Home- the Bus to the answers.

I suddenly shuddered upright into my bus seat, realising I was surrounded by a lot of people, murmuring conversations ringing around in the air. I stroked the pixie dust out of the corner of my eyes and gradually moved myself into the position that was most comfortable. I was in the same bus I was on before the journey. The bus had posters, and it was just becoming dark outside but the street lights saw me through the mist and fog that surrounded the air. I turned to look next to me, expecting to see Lisa there smiling from ear to ear with the blond highlight covering half of her face. But she wasn't there. Only the box lay in her space, the boxes my brother kept with all my memories.

The bus drew to a stop. I looked at the box once more, then at the hospital which was so close I could almost touch it. I left the box, shuffled past and watched the bright red, number 4 bus leave in front of me- no longer needing me on it. I turned around and looked at the hospital. It looked so tall in front of me, like it was mocking me as I entered. I remembered the exact route, I don't know why I did but it seemed it was important. I turned the last left and my mum was sat there with her head in her hands. I slowly walked towards her placing my hand on her shoulder for comfort.

She looked up at me and smiled a gloomy smile but I knew it was covered in love but also tears. "He is in surgery once again; they say he is going to be out soon if it all goes well." She looked at me, then at the time. "You were gone for a while, can't blame you, this place isn't the nicest thing to be in." She looked around me and then back at me, looking at my face, inspecting in before continuing. "You look- you seem, different- I don't know why? Well, why don't you sit here and wait with me, dad is at work but they seem to not want him there so I'm sure you will see him in around ten minutes. They said he was on leaving, personal leave-"She looked at her shoes, scuffing them on the floor like a child before continuing. "Couldn't get any worse really, he didn't want to go on personal leave, says it for wimp, I say it is the right thing to do. Well, maybe he will spend more time at home for the next two weeks, with me, you and your brother, hey? That would be nice." She looked at me smiling squeezing me tightly before popping a pound in the coffee machine next to her and watched it being poured out.

"Mum, you know this is all going to be fine?" I glared at her worried face as she zipped her coffee, blowing it after scolding her tongue. "We are here together what ever happened, we are a happy family and we will stay like that with or without him. There is no point worrying and not living, he would want us to live. Not to sound all doom and gloomy but the outcome could be bad and I don't want you to place all your hope in this, ok?" she looked at me, shaking her head as she gave me the coffee and walked off.

"Too young," she murmured, "too young to go through this!" She was out of sight before I heard any more. I sunk back into my seat and watched the world go by for a while. I closed my eyes, resting them for a moment and gradually falling asleep. I woke suddenly, a warm blast of air hit my face and a soft lip coated it in a warm fuzzy sensation. My Dad was hovering over me and I squinted to see where everything was; only opening my eyes fully after a little rub. He sat beside me as I made myself comfortable and looked around for mum- she was still gone.

"Are you alright?" He looked at me as I nodded politely even though I was worried. "Your mums gone to wait nearer the surgery- I don't want her to get her hopes up!" He looked down and then walked to sit beside me.

"Dad, whatever happens-"a tear rolled down my face, just hitting the floor beside my foot. "whatever happens, we are together and we will be happy no matter what, let's go and see mum, sort her out- give her a break. She hasn't slept I'm sure of it, she needs to and she needs to think of something else."

We walked down the hall way, past the rooms you knew was full of ill people- some of them wouldn't live but you couldn't do anything about it. We followed the signs leading us to the surgery ward. We took a deep breath and entered the area call the 'waiting room.' It was well named, very obviously but otherwise a good name because all you did in there was wait. Not like waiting in a queue for a roller coaster, it's almost like waiting for the grim reaper to come out and tell you if he is going to take a part of your heart and your life. My mum was sat there, glaring at the wall, almost trying to keep her eyes open but began to fail until we walked up beside her. She looked at my dad in the eye, but looked away and back to the wall.

"He's still in there, something happened- they won't tell me what." It went silent; she whispered this under her breath but just kept staring at the wall, not losing focus.

A doctor came out of a small room, carrying a clipboard in one hand and coming towards us it rather small steps. I sat down beside mum, comforting her for she was not looking anywhere else now but the doctor walking past. He came towards us, looked us up and down and smiled. Whether it was to breath the tension or to bring good news no one knew but he walked away once more towards a nurse. My mum was still looking at him as he came but to us with a nurse who didn't have a clipboard.

"Your son has been in surgery for around three hours now; we had to do an emergency surgery on his heart because it wasn't beating the correct amount." He continued confidently, surveying our faces and then beginning to talk one more. "As you know he needed a transplant, and as you know, Shayla, you were unable to commit yourself to something like that and I don't criticize you. What happened, however, was half way through the surgery we got a call- from the transplant office. A girl called Lisa past away around 4 days ago and had an organ donor card. They had already checked the match and were able to insert it into your son or brother." My mums face glowed and a smile began to form on all of our faces. "We successfully inserted it, but he is still unconscious and will be for a while so we don't know whether it was as successful as we may have first thought."

We sat back down after being told we couldn't see him right now, and I began to think of why that name rang a bell. Then I remembered. The girl on the bus, the girl with the blonde streak running down her naturally brown hair that kept the box tight and persisted in not telling me who or what she was- and now I know. This whole thing was me playing in my head, she was the last option- but what would she do in her future? The room began to spin and I landed in the fields with Lisa by my side.

She walked around me as I dusted myself off and stood upright. "You just said that I was the option? I had already died when you needed me for your brother- and I died at the wonderful age of 14 years old!" She turned around and faced me. "I was, in the future, going to be a murderer and without me in this world your brother's shuttle wouldn't crash and he would marry and have kids with a girl called Rosie."

A screen popped up in the middle of the light blue sky, showing a picture of my brother's happy life and he was with me in my strawberry garden with his two kids, one boy and a baby girl. His wife was there, Rosie as Lisa had said. She was gorgeous with flowing blonde hair and aqua marine eyes that shined so bright you almost fell into them when you looked at them. My brother was smiling, and laughing, he was so happy and when I saw he survived the shuttle and this I was confused.

"I tampered with the shuttle so my husband would die who was on the ship, luckily for you I don't kill him again, but there's one thing. For you and your brother to survive, for me to die you will have to die and so will your children as you hold them tightly." She clicked her fingers and I was gone.

Chapter 7

The forbidden third option.

I landed in the middle of two children, holding their hands tightly as I walked down the street. My husband, dashing as ever, was there holding my other child's hands as we crossed the street. We went shopping around; my little daughter was skipping in front of us towards all the Barbie pink shops. She looked like a pure angel but I could see a devil inside, a cute one but still. My husband held me tight as we ate lunch by a river, feeding the ducks with small portions of bread that we through. My youngest through the bread and hit the bird in the nose, making it yap out at her.

We walked into a bank, it was huge like the olden times, security covered the doors like magnets, and as we walked in they stared at us with eagle eyes, judging our every move. We walked towards the counter, Lily, my youngest was trying to peep her head over the side, gripping with both hands and putting her chin up to the sky. Ben, my eldest, had glasses the size of his face, they were like harry potter glasses and made him look like a genius he would grow up to be. The middle child had long hair that fell to the floor, pure brown covering it with a bright blue skirt on and a grin from ear to ear and she skipped all the way in.

I handed them a check I found in my purse after my husband pointed it out. I wondered why I was here, and why I wasn't invisible like I had been, but I was in her shoes.

"Mummy, can we get some ice cream afterwards?" She pulled out her puppy dog eyes at me, she knew that I always fell for them and I did. Then I heard a sound. This sound could deafen people; it was the sound of a gun. The bullet crashed the ceiling right up.

"Put your hands up. Do it, do it now. No need to make a fuss." I lay on the floor holding onto my children tightly as we place our hands in the air. I looked outside for the security but they were on the floor- Dead. I now knew why I was here, and what this man was capable of- but I didn't know what I was capable of. "If you are quiet I won't hurt you, for now. The police may come but I have back up- five people in total." Five more men joined him side by side, all holding a gun and then they spread out to guard all exits. "This isn't our first time; we will harm you- like we did the security men. No doubt in that." Everyone glanced towards the dead men outside. I felt my heart beating faster and faster, I knew this was when it all ended but the matter of how was still invisible.

At that point a man to my right lashed out, running towards him in sheer force and violence. Then the sound came again. I hid my child's eyes as the blood rushed out of his chest and the life was shot out of him. I couldn't bear blood, but I couldn't bear the thought even more of my children going through the pain that he just went through. Screaming rang in my ears as more and more people were shot out of sheer violence and frustration. I watched as one by one heaven was filled up. The walls were now painted with blood, he windows were broken and had blinds to cover anything up. The thing about this bank is that it is in such a remote part of town no one ever walks past it. I felt myself squeeze my children so tight and I felt horror in my heart, a tear role down of my cheek when my husband stood up- he didn't get shot.

He brought out his police badge and showed it to the world, "I'm not going to stop you, but please- put your guns down and explain your reasoning." He said this as I pressed the alert tracker on the radio, and watched the red light flash to aware us the police were on their way. That was satisfactory enough for me, but the feeling of losing my life was still looming and my husband wasn't looking strong.

"Why? Why? The difference between you and me is I have a gun and you don't, so I would shut up. I am doing this because I need money, I am living on the streets and at this very point I am making millions." He walked towards my husband, pointing the gun at his head.

Suddenly, police sirens were outside, a crash came from downstairs and it completely went silent. No movement was made for a second or two; the robbers were confused at the commotion. They pulled the gun at my husband head once more and then the shot twice. My husband fell to the floor in front of me- in front of our children. The children screamed; pressing against me for comfort as blood dripped out of his mouth and he heart beated faster and faster.

"No!" I screamed, five more shots rang out, one into me.

I fell to the floor. The blood rushed out the wound that was situated in my chest. Everything around me slowed down, my children's cries rang in my ear as shots continued to ring out. At that moment police came in, but the same moment I felt myself becoming invisible again- I was dying. The police shot the five men, and ambulance men came in. The last thing I felt in the world was the cold feeling of my husband hand stoking mine as we passed away slowly. I felt the sudden jolt when I was lifted onto the ambulance, but then I was finally invisible, I was finally dead.

I watched my husband be shipped off to the hospital, I watched my three children sit on the cold pavement outside the bank, blankets wrapped around them. I saw my husband die in the hospital bed, with my three children surrounding him- comforting him. I saw my mum, dad and children at the joint funeral of me and my husband wearing black. Everyone I knew was there; I had met so many people on my journey through life and positive ones at that. I saw my brother took my children under his wing and they lived happily ever after. They lived in the house I had, with the dog I had, and him and his wife died side by side in a hospital bed.

Their life was perfect, just like mine was without my brother in the world. The matter of choosing between them was swirling in my brain I couldn't cope with it. I felt like all this was my fault, everything that had led to this was my fault- I deserved to have a happy life but so did my brother.

I woke up in the field once more, next to Lisa who was smiling a considerable amount considering I had just died. "See what good I did by killing your brother?" I glared at her with evil eyes. "Come on! Right, so now you either let your brother die, let yourself die, or let me die and then you and your husband die in the future with your three kids screaming next to you?"

"Clearly you don't understand what it means by family, third option and I don't care what you say because I don't think you are any better than your husband was. Sure he killed people, but you killed people before he did- so you're a murderer." I glared at her and I was back in the hospital, sat in the seat with the doctor in front of me.

"You may see your brother and son now; he has recovered and should be home within the week. We just need to check him and see if the medication is correct." He smiled at us, all of us were so happy to see that he was alive.

We walked into the room, his eyes were wide open and wires were springing from many places including his nose. He glared at us, smiled at us and brought out his hand; mum took it in hers and smiled back. We sat there for a long time; I never looked at the time because for some reason I was glued to my brother. He was alive, and so what I- I knew it wouldn't stay that way but it was a nice thought.

A week later and we were home, back to the swishing of the hair, the normal school routine and then annoying races to school each day. Seeing as he hurt himself last time he went to school, mum made him walk with me and every day he would speed ahead, stop at the road, laugh at the small blood stain that they forgot to rub off, wait for me before continuing and rushing past me in the corridor at school. He was the normal older brother, but as people say, girls mature quicker than boys- and this was the evidence.

I grew up, went to university and became a policeman like I was supposed to. I met my husband in university. I was at a bar party, and I was sat at a table when, as he was an idiot, his shirt got stuck on my chair and he ended up pulling me along to the table with his friend. We started talking from then on and found out we worked for the same police industry and a year later we were married. I then had three children within three years much to my mums distaste and we became a beautiful family.

I and my brother were so close, we would go to the pond in the middle of mine and his house without children and play games, have picnics and it was always beautiful weather. I couldn't believe my luck, my job was demanding but I knew it was just the way of life. My children weren't spoiled but we were quite rich so we didn't have to worry about that kind of stuff.

The day came when I needed to hand in a check at the banks, and then I realised- what if I didn't go to the bank? I watched my husband and children begin to enter and then I pulled them away and walked away from the place I was supposed to die. I didn't want to die that day, I wasn't ready. I know you're never ready for death but if you know you can change when you die I was going to do that whether it was the last thing I do. Somehow that didn't work, I ended up dying whilst crossing the road- but it seems a better way. It showed the connection between me and my husband. We were all holding hands when we crossed the road, an uncontrolled lorry came speeding down the street. Me and my husband pushed out children out the way and died holding on to each other tightly.

The end.