Summary: Mysterious aliens have eliminated the pain in House's thigh, in exchange for his promise to gestate their offspring. He and Wilson end up being stuck alone together for the pregnancy months, with unexpected consequences, good and bad. Bittersweet (I think too sweet and not bitter enough: YMMV).
Written for the Mpreg Big Bang.
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex, adult themes, strong language.
Warning: AU, mpreg, angst, severe health issues, pro-choice attitude, frequent adult male crying.
Word Count: ~23000.

Note: Some details that may help mpreg-squeamish would-be readers: the pregnancy starts and ends with a surgical intervention by aliens, none of which is ever seen in the story; they communicate with humans by computer chats.
No cute cuddly baby. Too much romance and pain, not enough banter.

Periodicity: This story is already visible on lj. Let me know in the comments if you there's interest in me publishing it here as well.

Thanks: Many, many heartfelt thanks to Dee Laundry for creating a wonderful cover art for this (on lj). The fic itself has been improved beyond measure by menolly_au who read several versions, helped me say what I wanted without shouting and negotiated a fragile truce between me and the English language. I am once more stunned by the generosity of the house_wilson community.

Finally, heartfelt thanks to phantisma for all their work in making the Big Bang happen.

Wilson was tired and would have gladly gone straight to bed after a glass of warm milk, but House had insisted that he must come by this evening. This was rare enough that he had agreed, despite the headache caused by the previous sleepless night, spent in the hospital in the futile attempt to comfort the parents of a dying toddler. Being an oncologist had many bad sides, but some were worse than others, he thought as he rang the doorbell.

House let him in and gestured him to the couch. The TV was switched off, and on the table two glasses flanked what looked like a bottle of really fancy whiskey, even for his friend's discerning taste.

"Are we celebrating something?" he asked, letting himself drop in what his body seemed to know as his place.

"I've been pain-free for three full days." House's eyes shone with happiness, and soon Wilson's gloomy mood was lifted, too. He now looked back in memory and noticed a number of details, which probably wouldn't have escaped him hadn't he been so preoccupied with the pediatric cancer ward.

"Mazel tov! This is really great news. How did it happen? A new painkiller?" Worry clouded his brow. "Oh God, House. Tell me you didn't do anything illegal. And that includes swallowing anything illegal."

"Don't worry, everything is legal. Especially because I didn't take anything at all. I have been cured. That is," he added, his enthusiasm somewhat diminished, "the pain is gone. My muscle is as missing as it was before, unfortunately."

House seemed sincere, and the sparkle in his eyes proved that there were more exciting news to come. Wilson had a sip of the whiskey that House had handed him and relaxed again. In fact, for the first time in longer than he cared to remember, he felt genuinely happy. It probably helped that they were looking forward to a completely free weekend, when neither would be on call.

"Great. So what did you do and how did you keep it a secret?"

"It's part of a deal with some extraterrestrials. They cured me and in exchange I'll gestate one of their offspring. Or at least I'll try."

He felt the headache returning, and also a vague dizziness. "So what really happened, House? Your story is so weird it isn't even funny."

"I agree. It has the distinctively minor merit of being true, however."

Now Wilson felt really, really tired. The stress of the last few days, the whiskey, and the nonsense seemed to be assaulting his brain.

"Okay, House. It's the truth. Now I definitely need to go home and get to sleep."

"You don't need to go home for that. My couch is quite comfortable."

House's face was swimming before his eyes. The whiskey must have been stronger than he expected. Maybe crashing here was actually a good idea?

"You might be right. I'm so tired."

"That's good, since I expect you to fall asleep in less than one minute."

House's soft laughter was the last sound he heard before his eyelids fell irresistibly down.