Yaoi No Jutsu
"Lord Jashin, behold! I give myself, body, and soul, to the carnage that is to come! In your name I will rip their insides out and shred their entrails". Hidan leaned towards them and shrieked maniacally.
"This doesn't look good" Shikamaru was trying hard to think of a way round this. "Kakashi-sensei they're stronger than expected"
"Mm" Kakashi agreed "We'll just have to think of a strategy to-"
"Oh I know!" Ino jumped up looking pleased with herself. "I've been working on the perfect jutsu for this fight"
"We don't have time for this kind of thing Ino" Shikamaru was looking worried. "Just stay there and wait-"
"Right here I go" Ino threw her hands together and began signing rapidly.
"Ino, wait!" Kakashi shouted out.
"Done~" Ino smiled and looked towards the akatsuki members, seeming quite pleased with herself. Nothing seemed to have happened. Hidan started to laugh.
"Ha! You stupid bitch! It didn't work! Your jutsu's a failure, you're just a weak little-"
"What do you want Kakuzu? Can't you see I'm bus- GAH!". Hidan was thrown backwards as Kakuzu suddenly tackle glomped him.
"Ehhh? What the fuck Kakuzu?"
"You're so cute~" Kakuzu began wrapping his tentacles around Hidan, restraining him as he began to tug his clothes off.
"Don't you fucking dare Kakuzu! Knock this shit off, it's not fucking funny!" Hidan tried struggling but Kakuzu's grip was too strong.
"Yay it worked~" Ino squealed and clapped her hands together.
"What was that jutsu you just used?"
"A creation of mine. I call it the 'Yaoi No Jutsu'!"
"Ooo I better get my camera. The good parts nearly here, and I can't miss an opportunity like this~"
"You know Shikamaru, it might be a good idea to retreat for now and rethink our battle strategy"
"My thoughts exactly Kakashi-sensei"
"Hey guys, c'mon I wanna watch!"
"Oi Oi you atheist jerks where the fuck are you going? Don't just fucking leave, we're in the middle of a fucking fight and- GAH Kakuzu knock that shit off- FUCK FUCK FUCK!"
"What the hell is going on over there?"
"I really don't want to know"