AN: CHiKa-RoXy requested a chapter addressing the fan theory that John is a hedgehog and Sherlock is an otter. It was a wonderful prompt and a lot of fun to write – hope this is what you were looking for!

11:43

How's the case, my dear otter?

JW

11:45

What?

SH

11:46

You look like an otter.

JW

11:46

John, I was under the impression that it's illegal to consume alcohol while practicing medicine.

SH

11:47

I'm not drunk! It's this thing I found on the internet.

JW

11:47

What are you talking about?

SH

11:48

People think you look like an otter.

JW

11:48

They're obviously imbeciles. I do not in any way resemble a semi-aquatic mammal.

SH

11:49

Actually you kind of do. They've matched picture of up of you and compared them to otters. The similarities are striking.

JW

11:51

You are being absurd. Otters have long, slim bodies and relatively short limbs, with webbed paws. Most have sharp claws on their feet, and all except the sea otter have long, muscular tails. They are also covered in dark fur .What similarities does that appearance have to mine?

SH

11:52

Well it's more the facial expressions really.

JW

11:53

Oh? Do otters project an expression of utter exasperation at the level of stupidity that surrounds them? Honestly, idiocy has reached a new height in the world. I fear I may soon perish from it's foul presence.

SH

11:54

Stop being over-dramatic. It's only a joke around the web.

JW

12:03

You failed to mention that you look like a hedgehog.

SH

12:04

What? I do not!

JW

12:05

You do according to the internet. I just found it. The similarities are striking.

SH

12:05

Shut up. That's not funny.

JW

12:06

But it's true! While the connection is not one I would have made myself, they are quiet correct.

SH

12:07

Oh so I look like a hedgehog, but you can't possibly look like an otter?

JW

12:08

Yes. Now you've got it.

SH

12:09

You're impossible. And for the record I do not look like a hedgehog!

JW

12:10

I exist therefor I am possible. And you do. Perhaps it's the perpetually disgruntled look you have. Hedgehogs seem to share it. And you can be rather prickly at times...

SH

12:12

I only look "perpetually disgruntled" around you. And it's your fault. So there.

JW

12:13

Your vibrant wit has disarmed me, John. What possible reply can I offer to your
scintillating argument?

SH

12:14

Piss off.

JW

12:16

It took you nearly five years but you finally said it. Congratulations, John you've lasted far longer than anyone else. I admire your perseverance. Having said that - I decline your request.

SH

12:17

Have I ever told you how much I hate you?

JW

12:18

Yes. Several times. Almost as often as the number of times you tell me you love me. Hypocrisy, John.

SH

12:19

Well they say the line between love and hate is a thin one. I can't help it if I fall to the other every once and awhile.

JW

12:20

Excellent point. Though I hope you retain your position on this side more often than not.

SH

12:21

That was nearly touching. You've really got to be careful of that. Wouldn't want to ruin your reputation.

JW

12:23

As a medical professional I would've thought you'd be honor bound to inform me that your sentimentality was contagious.

SH

12:25

Slipped my mind. Patient coming in – talk later?

JW

12:26

Perhaps. Though I'll be busy with the blood tests.

SH

12:27

So in other words I'll talk and you might nod your head if I'm lucky?

JW

12:28

You know me so well, John.

SH

If convenient please review; if inconvenient review anyway.

KP