I really identify with Despicable Me, especially the girls situation. Around the time this movie was in theaters, I met my step dad. My biological father and I are estranged and when I knew him, I wasn't proud to call him my father. I consider my stepfather my actual dad. My step(up)father is no super villain, but is just as kooky!
Changes. August, three and a half months after the end of Despicable Me.
Margo and Edith never liked the first day of school. When they walked into their respective schools on the first day in old clothes, everyone had a look of pity on their face. They were the orphans. Agnes lucked out, this new school year would be her first.
This new school was going to be different. Early that summer, they were adopted and after a rocky start, they finally had a real home. They were adopted be a six foot, four inch tall man with a shaved head and thick accent that could punch a shark without even looking at it. For them. He punched a shark for them. No one has ever done anything for them and he literally gave up the moon for them. This man, named Felonious Gru was infamous, not only in their city, but the world. A scarf that supposedly belonged to him went for five thousand dollars at online auction on a crime memorabilia website. He has stolen priceless objects from the Mona Lisa to weapons used by Vlad the Impaler, replacing the item in question with a replica and going in with such precision, that no one noticed the real one was gone.
For the first time, each girl started the new school year with confidence. They had new clothes, not jeans and tee shirts that came from a donation bin, but new clothes they picked out themselves and really liked. Margo actually wore real Converse shoes and grandma Marlena knitted Edith a new beanie. This all goes without saying Agnes' new unicorn bedazzled wardrobe. They even had a new surname. Just a few weeks prior to the new school year started, their adoption was official. She was Margo Gru. She was Edith Gru. She was Agnes Gru and they were the daughters of Felonious Gru. Every one knew him, the evil genius that conspicuously lived in their town. Margo wouldn't admit it, but Edith voiced it, they liked the nervous looks they got from faculty and students, they knew just who adopted them and it sure beat that look of pity.
One of the major changes was that Gru put them in a private school, the same private school system he attended when he and his mother moved to America. Margo was amazed at her new school. The walls were filled with color, the entire building was clean and when Gru took her to meet her teacher, she saw a team of janitors giving a fresh coat of paint to already pristinely painted lockers, and oiling the hinges. Edith's middle school and Agnes' kindergarten was just as good.
These new changes didn't just revolve around their school life, but their home life as well. Gru and his daughters were already planning their winter vacation to London. Margo was really excited to see all the Harry Potter attractions there and to see the Sherlock Holmes museum; Gru was proud of his little book worm. He even decided on their next family vacation, he wanted to take his girls to Russia to meet the rest of his, no, their family.
All three of the girls were surprised find out there were actually rules and punishment in the Gru household. The rules were simple, clean up after yourself, help out around the house when you can, whoever sees Kyle's latest mess first cleans it up, and don't trust the minions. Nothing too drastic, Gru didn't want his daughters to be nuns exactly, but he didn't want them to be spoiled brats who never worked a day in their lives either.
The punishments were odd, but fitting. If one girl 'forgot' to put something up, Gru would hide it. When the daughter in question asked where it was, Gru would nonchalantly reply that he forgot where he put it, thus she would spend a good chunk of her day searching. It was such a hassle for his girls, they stopped the annoying behavior completely.
While Margo and Edith stood at the entrance to their new schools, they finally felt happy and excited (as much as a young student could be) for the new school year. They knew they could actually go home after a bad day to someone who loved them, more than he loved the moon. And that was a fact.
Their grandma Marlena was an odd individual. Agnes thought she was a superhero in disguise because she could do many things the average seventy something woman could not do. Seriously, what woman at her age could knock out her thirty year old karate instructor with a punching bag in between them or let alone took karate lessons? Edith was always the first mention their grandma was a seventh degree Black Belt.
Gru had been trying to get a hold of her for several days to let her know the date of the girls next dance recital. Margo was especially excited for this one. She had her own solo that her teacher choreographed to the song "Best Day" by Taylor Swift for her. She was going to dedicate it to her father, but he didn't know that yet.
One of the minions who was charged with looking after the girls chattered at Gru and pantomimed a death scene.
"She's not dead, Stan!" Gru exclaimed in annoyance, forgetting the girls were right there.
Gru finally got a hold of his mother. Her cell phone had gone dead days ago. Gru asked her why she didn't charge it to which she replied she wasn't home. She had gone out Friday morning to run her usual errands when she passed by the local performing arts center and saw a very hunky looking young fella in gold short-shorts and nothing else on a poster. Well, she simply couldn't pass that up! Marlena happily bought tickets for every night the show was in town. Eventually the players began to recognize the same old woman night after night and invited her to the wrap party after the last performance. The next thing Marlena knew, she was crowd surfing at a Lady Gaga concert Monday night.
"She's still and kicking…"Gru's eye twitched, "probably someone. She'll outlive us all."
The Life of Kyle
Kyle was an accidental creation. He randomly congealed in a corner of the lab out of spilt lighter fluid, gasoline and DNA of a dog, human, tiger, and a wildebeest that somehow got tracked inside. Gru was unable to enter the lab for several weeks after Kyle came to be until the Minions tamed him, somewhat. That lead to his lull in criminal activity that eventually brought his girls into his life.
Kyle was still slightly feral. Gru didn't trust that creature as far as he could throw him. Dr. Nefario, himself and a hundred or so Minions had scars from the creature. A Minion named Drew actually lost a finger. Needless to say, Kyle would be a good final defense, if any would be intruder survived the rest of the booby traps that is.
Gru made a note to study the creature. Kyle had some degree of intelligence and a range of emotions. Kyle was capable of plotting revenge, and comprehending TV shows (he had several he watched regularly, knew how to work the remote and understood what time they came on) but didn't understand a closed glass door was not penetrable nor that he could not catch light reflecting on the floor or walls. Gru was quite surprised when Agnes was able to handle him without injury. Still it was obvious Kyle only put up with the little girl.
Kyle is a creature of habit. He awoke at a the same time, watched his shows, napped at the same time, watched more of his shows, licked himself and liked to be fed at the same time. If all this did not take place at the time he wanted it, everyone (mostly Gru) would suffer the wrath of Kyle. When Kyle got his regular, actual bath, he even had a soap he preferred, a soap sold locally called Boogey Man. If he didn't get this soap, Kyle would run outside, sopping wet and roll in the mud. Gru could practically tell what Kyle was thinking by the look in his beady eyes, "I dare you to do something. I know you're afraid of me."
It's no surprise that Agnes had always wanted a unicorn. 'If I can create a beast like Kyle without trying, I bet I can make a unicorn with some effort…and Edith's light saber."
The girls never got presents sent to them at school. All their other friends got balloons and stuffed animals from their parents or other family on Valentines Day. Every year, they'd see a table filled with gifts in their classroom, but none were for them. This year, the biggest one was for them. They each got balloons, a stuffed animal, and bouquet made of candy that put all the others shame. Getting a big present was nice, but the card that had a cheesy poem signed "I love you -Dad" was the best.
Daily Life of the Gru Family
Gru gets up. Showers, dresses.
Attempts to feed Kyle without being mauled. Today, he is unsuccessful. Gru did not relinquish Kyle's bowl in a timely manner (according to Kyle) and bit Gru's fingers as a warning, cracking Gru's thumbnail.
Gru begins breakfast. Gru is discerning when it comes to feeding girls. They hardly eat any junk food (forgetting that food bowl incident when they first moved in, he actually cared about them now!). Most of what they eat are grown by Gru's cousin Vanya back in Russia. Every couple of months, Gru gets a large shipment of fruits, vegetables and meat from his cousin that is more enough to sustain his small family until the next one.
Gru wakes up the girls.
Margo and Agnes come downstairs, proceed to eat said breakfast.
Gru attempts to get Edith up.
Margo and Agnes get ready for school.
Edith comes downstairs and eats (cold) breakfast.
Margo and Agnes are ready for school. Edith gets ready for school.
Edith is finally ready for school, but her homework is not done. Luckily, Gru learned to plan ahead and started getting the girls up earlier to accommodate any 'forgotten' assignments. Thus giving them time to finish there homework without a mad dash to the tank.
Gru helps Edith with her homework while Margo and Agnes watch cartoons.
Gru and the girls leave for school.
Agnes is dropped off at kindergarten.
Margo is dropped off at her school.
Edith is dropped off at her school.
8:00AM (Depending on traffic)
Gru returns home.
Dastardly planning, nefarious scheming, and gruesome conspiring and the odd fire take place in the lab.
Gru leaves to pick up Agnes.
Agnes' school day ends.
11:45AM (Depending on traffic)
Gru and Agnes return home.
Gru prepares lunch, while Agnes rates all the species of unicorns by fluffiness.
Lunch time! Gru and Agnes eat while Agnes rates all the species of unicorns by glitteriness.
Nap time for Agnes! Grandma comes over to watch Agnes while Gru commits dastardly deeds.
Gru must stop in the middle of a heist to pick up Margo and Edith in time!
Gru arrives at Edith's school.
Margo and Edith are released from school.
Gru and Edith pick up Margo.
Gru, Margo and Edith return home to find grandma snoring on the couch, Agnes running around with minions and Kyle's wiry fur dyed sloppily like a rainbow.
Snack and homework time! Gru stays close in case any of the girls need help with their homework.
Chore time! It just happened to be the first Tuesday of the month, which is when Kyle gets his regular bath. Before the girls came along, Gru had to knock the creature out with chloroform to bath him, but since Kyle never tried to harm the girls, he entrusted Edith to this chore. Afterwards, her next chore is to was the bathtub and to sweep the living room. Margo did the dishes, swept the kitchen floor and cleaned off the counters. Agnes only had to make sure her toys were picked up.
Free time for the girls! The girls play outside since it's a nice day while Gru keeps an eye on them from the porch.
Gru starts dinner, still keeping an eye on the girls through the kitchen window.
Dinner is served!
Everyone does their share of cleaning up after dinner.
It's dark now and Gru takes the his girls outside for a mini astronomy lesson. He points out all the constellations and planets visible without a telescope.
The girls get ready for bed.
The girls get into bed for story time. Tonight Gru reads chapter five of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Edith asks if he's related to Professor Snape.
Time to sleep! Good night kisses and I Love You's are exchanged.
Gru gets ready bed.
Gru falls asleep on the couch after watching the news.
Edith sneaks down stairs and paints Gru's fingernails with a sparkly pink nail polish.
The entire Gru family is sleep and ready to start a new day.
One chilly February morning, Margo was given an essay to write about her family's origins. She didn't know what to think about the assignment. To her friends, it was nothing too hard, but they hadn't been adopted. So, during lunch she came up to her teacher and asked, "Uh, I'm sure you know, but I'm adopted. Do you want me to write my report on my adoptive family or my biological family?"
Her teacher smiled warmly and put her hand on Margo's shoulder and said, "It's up to you."
"So are you going to find out about your real family or write about your new one?" Her friend Nicole asked her as Margo sat back down at the lunch table.
Margo sighed, "I don't know." Doing her report on her adoptive family, the one she wanted to write about, meant actually confirming everyone's suspicions, she was his daughter. Margo wondered if anyone realized just who her father was. Felonious Gru was an infamous name. She wondered if her teachers put two and two together when they saw her enrollment papers.
The rest of the day, she thought about her adoptive family. Margo Gru, she wrote on her History assignment. It sounded odd, but in a fitting way. It was weird for Margo to write her new surname on her assignments. Up until then, she could get away with only writing her first name. Come to think of it, she couldn't remember what her birth surname was. Was it Paterson? Or was it Edith's or Agnes'?
How many of people truly feared or hated her father? How many were deeply scarred by him, to never have the same life after he crossed their path? Had those hands that held her own when she crossed the street ever hurt someone? Had those hand who soothed her when she was sad, sick or hurt ever killed anyone? Margo was continent to believe that her father only wanted to be the annoyance in everyone's life that trashed their day.
After Margo thought for the day, she realized she could use this assignment to show everyone that she had a great father, even if he single handedly destroyed most of her classmate's parents cars.
"Homework time girls!" Gru called as the older girls got home from school, closing the front door behind him. "Who needs my help?"
"I have to write a report on my family." Margo replied. Everyone got quiet for a split second, then Edith and Agnes continued their argument.
"You know, I wouldn't be hurt or anything if you wanted to find out about your biological parents. I have a few papers Miss Hattie gave me." Gru said. He had read through the information Miss Hattie gave him and knew a few details about the girls lives before he came along. Margo's parents died in a car accident when she was four, she was the sole survivor and still had a few small scars on her body from the twisted metal of her birth parents Lexus. Edith's mother relinquished her rights after heroine and other drugs became more important. Gru would never mention it to his middle daughter, but he was fairly certain the straggly and drug addled woman who walked the street, looking for the means for her next hit, they always saw when they were on the way to the dance studio was her birth mother. Minus the ravages of time and addiction, they looked so much alike. Agnes' mother was just a child herself. She put Agnes up for adoption before her senior year of high school.
Margo smiled, "I think you'd be much more interesting."
Gru grinned and sat down at the table, "I'm an open book."
"Where and when were you born?"
He groaned dramatically, "Oh! Make me feel old why don'tcha? I was born September 28, 1960 in Yekaterinburg, Russia."
"Spell the city for me, please." She asked as she jotted down her notes.
Gru smirked, "Give it a try yourself. Use what I have taught you girls about the Russian language." He challenged.
Margo was silent for a few moments as she spelled and erased the name. Finally satisfied, she pushed her iCarly notebook to her father.
"Very good Margo! I'm very proud of you."
"Thanks dad! How many times have you moved in your life?"
"My father, your grandfather Robert moved your grandmother and I to Bucharest, Romania when I was Agnes' age." He lowered his voice and cupped his hand around the side of his mouth, "Don't put this in your report, but he stole a couple of paintings. That's why we had to move."
The girls giggled. "Why don't you get in trouble for everything you do, Dad?" Edith asked, everyone could tell she had an ulterior motive. She wanted to be able to get away with things too.
Gru put on a self satisfied smirk. "Us super villains are like the mob. Everyone is afraid to mess with us. Also, I'm just that good." He paused, the girls eyeing him knowingly, "And the Bank of Evil has lawyers up the wazoo to defend their clients."
The girls giggled and their father continued on, "Two years later, we moved to Budapest, Hungary. We stayed there for a few years until your grandfather died of tuberculosis. After the funeral, your grandmother moved us right here in America."
"Isn't that why your accent is funny? It doesn't sound like just one." Margo asked.
"What accent? What are you talking about?" He joked, purposely making it thicker.
"That one!" Agnes giggled.
"I don't have an accent. Maybe you girls are the ones with accents."
With all the fun she was having with her father, she quickly forgot she was doing homework and turned it in with pride a few weeks later. She received an A, no shocker to her father, and her essay was showcased with a few other exceptional ones in the front of the school.
Gru's worst nightmare- six years after the events of Despicable Me
Gru knew this day would come. He knew eventually some self superior boy would be at his doorstep asking for Margo, but why did it have to be this one? He looked at the boy through the peephole.
The suitor in question was quickly ordering his disheveled clothes, much more disheveled than the way kids where were wearing them these days. It made Gru very suspicious. But then a hint of sparkle on the boy's cheek caught his shrewd blue eyes. It was a kiss stain with an Urban Decay Stardust lip gloss in the color Glitter Rock. Gru immediately wanted to bash his head through the front door for knowing that, but it was the price of living with girls. This boy was a two timer and would not get to waste any of Margo's time.
Before he could shoo the boy away, Margo bolted down the stairs, pushed her father aside and opened the door. "Hi, Alex!" She said excitedly. "I'll be out in a second, I just have to get my purse."
Gru was left there with the boy and was sure to put on his is most murderous expression and crossed his arms.
"Hi! You must be Mr. Gru, Margo never shuts up about you." The boy said, offering his hand to attempt to assuage the father.
"Are you saying you saying my Margo talks too much? 'Cause I'm not too cool with the whole 'she never shuts up' dealio."
"No! Never, I like a woman who actually talks. Not like the ones who just sit there. It's just that she talks about you a lot."
"So, the problem is me?" Gru asked in annoyance.
"Well, I, uh." The boy was cut off guard.
"Where are you taking my daughter?" He asked coolly.
"To the Circle Cinema, downtown. Their playing the original Star Wars trilogy, so we'll be back really late."
Gru knew that was an outright lie. If Star Wars was playing, Edith would be the first in line and she never mentioned it and he would have seen advertisements. It was a ploy to make her father let her stay out extra late.
"You have nothing to worry about, sir. This is my first date ever too." The boy explained, trying to feign innocence.
"Yeah, and I'm Lady Gaga. Keep that mental image in your mind if you ever try to get fresh with my daughter. Listen up and listen close you little punk. I see right through that bunch of garbage. If you hurt my daughter in any way, shape or form. I will kill you and you will not be my first victim. I am not a man you want to cross and I have a very long and good memory. At least one person in my family is Wanted on every continent. I, myself, am wanted on three."
Alex shook his head, not wanting to satisfy this man with his fear, "You're lying."
Gru merely pointed at the front page newspapers that hung it the entryway. Alex's eyes nearly popped out of his skull when he read them.
"No, let me rephrase that. If you ever look at my daughter, let a lone talk to my daughter, and that goes for all three of them 'cause they're all off limits to you, I will kill you and feed your remains to him," Gru pointed his thumb at Kyle, who was standing strategically on the first step of the staircase, in perfect view for Alex. Kyle growled and bore a set of teeth that would put a shark to shame.
"So, if I were you," Gru said, swiping a slender, long finger along the kiss stain on the boy's cheek. Alex yelped, he was so afraid of this man, a simple touch hurt. Gru shown Alex his fuschia stained finger, "I'd go back to little miss Chelsea Cheerleader and never so much as think of my daughter. You're not fit to worship the ground she walks on, let a lone date her. Now, do us a favor and forget her number and this address, 'kay?" Gru growled angrily.
The boy was so scared, he was on the verge of tears. He promptly ran screaming from the doorstep. Gru smirked in satisfaction and closed the door just as Margo came down the stairs.
"Where's Alex?" She asked.
"He got diarrhea." Gru replied.
Margo didn't know what to think, but believed her father. She didn't hear from Alex all weekend, but by lunch on Monday, word had got around about Alex's "extra curricula's" when it came to dating and girls. Margo knew if she had gone out with Alex that night, she would be a victim of heart break right now. She knew that her father saved her once again.