Most Wonderful Time of the Month
Gale Hawthorne didn't like Facebook.
Oh, he most definitely didn't.
Most of the time, he didn't even understand why he bothered with this site in the first place.
Just stupid. A real… boring… site.
And that's what Gale kept telling to himself as the fifth hour of him being in front of the computer and looking at pages at Facebook passed.
This site was just so useless, uneventful, and most of all –
"Oh wow, what is that?!"
Gale excitedly clicked on the Wolf Mutt that just befriended Jacob Black.
This Wolf Mutt was one of the Wolf Mutts that attacked Katniss in the end of the 74th Hunger Games. She fought them, risking her life in order to survive. So desperate, such a big danger… she could have died…!
…oh, and Cato and Peeta were there, too.
Gale read the profile of the mutt, not that there was a lot to read.
A Wolf Mutt's Profile Page
Current location: *RAWR*
Interested in: *RAWR*
In a relationship: *RAWR*
It was apparent that this wolf was not much of a talker.
As he continued looking at the wolf's profile, he noticed that this wolf had a new comment on its page, which was received on March 12th, at 14:39, by Catnip's ugly cat, Butercup.
Buttercup was obviously not pleased with the doggy-mutt.
A few seconds later, Beetee sent a reply to Buttercup's angry hiss.
'May I tell you, Buttercup, that you are a very sagacious cat?'
Primrose Everdeen was quick to reply.
'…are you making fun of my cat?'
Gale didn't blame her for thinking that.
What the hell was sagacious?
Beetee sent a comment to clarify.
'*laughs* Oh no, no, quite the opposite, my dear, less-intelligent girl! No, I was actually complementing him.'
'*it.' Katniss Everdeen corrected him quickly.
Primrose Everdeen sent the next comment almost a second later.
'I thought we were done with that, Katniss.'
'That cat annoys me greatly.' Was Katniss's response.
Haymitch Abernathy then wrote the next comment.
'*murmurs* you annoy me greatly…'
Gale rolled his eyes. So immature and not clever.
Katniss Everdeen was quick to reply.
'Oh, shut the f*ck up, Haymitch!'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster then decided to join the conversation.
'Someone's a bit cranky…'
'*less-than-impressed glare*' Katniss sent as an explanation to what she did when she saw the comment.
Johanna Mason joined the conversation as well.
'Bet it's her time of the month.'
Gale raised an eyebrow, not quite getting what Johanna meant by that.
Peeta Mellark was, apparently, just as confused as he himself was.
'Time of the month? Time for what?'
Johanna Mason took her time to reply.
'Oh, you know, that wonderful time every month when a girl bleeds from her private place.'
Gale stared at the computer screen for a few agonizingly long seconds, then decided to write his exact thoughts on the matter.
He was pleased to see that Peeta Mellark, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Haymitch Abernathy and Primrose Everdeen all liked his comment.
He was just clever like that.
Finnick Odair then joined the conversation.
'Oh, come on, I bet it's not that bad. I saw the commercials, after all. All the girls that were on their period on those commercials looked pretty damn happy. You're probably just overreacting.'
Katniss Everdeen sent the next comment.
'No, you're right Finnick, those girls on the commercials portray exactly what every girl feels on her period. Even though most of the time I don't roll around in a bed of roses or perform yoga movements in the middle of a field, when that time of the month comes, I just feel compelled to do all of those things, because I just feel so damn good!'
Peeta Mellark, apparently, didn't get the sarcasm in the comment.
'Aw, that's nice to hear! Maybe on your next period, we'll do all of these things together!'
Katniss Everdeen was really annoyed now.
'I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, YOU UNSAGACIOUS GIT!'
Finnick Odair still wasn't impressed.
'Well, then maybe you should switch to 'Always' or something…? – I'm telling you, those girls on the commercial looked very free and fresh. They said that the 'Always' pad absorbs better than any other pad…'
Annie Cresta decided to send a comment then.
'Finnick, you need to stop watching girls on their period on commercials. This is getting unnerving.'
'Yes dear.' Finnick Odair wrote obediently.
Beetee sent the next comment.
'Katniss, may I just say, very good use of the word sagacious here in that insult!'
'Thanks, Beetee. I try.' Katniss wrote in response.
Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent then the exact same question that was on Gale's mind on an earlier stage in the conversation.
'What the hell is sagacious?'
Beetee sent a quick reply.
'Ha. Well, of course you wouldn't know, you unsagacious boy.'
Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next comment a few seconds later.
'…okay, I'm going to search this word up.'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent a comment right after Cato.
'Hey, how bout we all go and watch a movie together? As a president I have some connections to very high places, so I bet we could even get a discount on the popcorn!'
Haymitch Abernathy replied to that.
'…depends. Which movie?'
President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent the next comment.
'Well, I thought we can decide when we get there. Though there's this new, very deep, very emotional and educating movie that I really wanted to see for some time now.'
The offer was just getting more and more temping by the moment!
Annie Cresta sent a quick reply.
'You mean, porn?'
…didn't see that coming.
Finnick Odair replied quickly.
Gale clicked the like button, and so did Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen and President Snow The Sexy Rooster.
'Count me in!' Haymitch Abernathy declared the minute he read the word 'porn'.
Primrose Everdeen then sent a comment as well.
'Katniss, what is porn?'
Gale snorted. Facebook was not a safe place for the innocent mind.
Katniss Everdeen replied after a few long seconds of figuring out what to say.
For God's sake, control your woman, Odair!'
Finnick Odair wrote a comment.
'Where did you hear this word from, Annie?'
Annie Cresta replied innocently.
'Johanna told me about it. '
Gale rolled his eyes and wrote a reply.
'Of course she did.'
Gale was again pleased when he saw that Finnick Odair, Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy and President Snow The Sexy Rooster liked this comment.
Man, he was on fire!
Annie Cresta sent the next comment.
'Yeah. She told me it's her favorite type of movie. That it's easy to connect to the characters and know what they're going through, the storyline isn't very hard to follow, the sounds and face expressions that the characters make makes the whole experience of watching the movie look very realistic, and that although there are sometimes some obstacles, like falling wood or too-small holes, there's always this sense of relief in the end that wash both the characters and the watcher.'
It took a few long seconds for Finnick to send a reply to that.
'…Johanna, stay away from Annie.'
Johanna Mason was outraged by that demand.
'You're ruining her!' Finnick replied hotly.
Johanna Mason sent a quick reply.
'Oh, don't look at it in such a negative light. Look at it as… educating her.'
Just as Gale was starting to write another extremely-well-thought-out comment for Johanna's reply, Cato changed the subject after his search on the internet.
'Sagacious is clever?!'
'So you've found the word then.' Beetee sent.
Cato The Sexy Buffalo replied quickly.
'Damn right I did. And let me tell you, I am not not-clever!'
What a stupid guy.
President Snow The Sexy Rooster, apparently, didn't agree with Gale.
'That's right, yo!'
'Shut up Rooster.' Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote.
Beetee sent the next comment.
'I have to agree with Cato on this one, President Snow. To be completely honest with you, the way you try to fit in with God knows which age group is quite atrocious.'
Gale looked at the word 'atrocious' for a few long minutes. No one wrote anything for the time he stared at the word, so he guessed everyone stared at that word in stupidity, too.
Beetee decided then to send another comment, after figuring no one else would.
'…I bet you don't even know what atrocious is.'
'Not in the slightest ;)' President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote happily, not caring.
'I hate smart people.' Cato The Sexy Buffalo declared bitterly.
'You mean, sagacious people?'
And all Cato The Sexy Buffalo could write after Beetee's annoying reply was just, '*facepalm*'
HOLY CRAP WE'RE OVER 2,000 REVIEWS! INSANE!
It's been a while.
Can't apologize enough for the long wait, so I'm not even going to try. Just know that I'm sorry for not updating for so freaking long.
Alright, so! Let's start with something about the last chapter – a lot of you asked me to give you the link to that site, where the characters learned which animal they were in their past lives. So here's the link:
Just delete the hyphens :)
And, about this chapter – before you tell me that you're younger than Annie and Prim and you know what porn is so how can they not know what it is, let's remember that they come from districts with no TV, obviously no porn, and from a world completely different from ours. So, in my opinion, they really shouldn't know what porn is.
And about the sagacious + atrocious: well, since my first language is not English, I have no idea if people who speak English actually use those words, or if they're even difficult words that people don't normally know. I just know that those words are not common at all here, and I always search up difficult words in English on the internet to tell my friends (Gosh, I'm such a nerd). That's a very sad, but very real, hobby of mine. And atrocious and sagacious are two of the words that I found on the internet and never heard before.
SO! Hope you all have a lovely holiday (at least, I guess you're all having a holiday right now. I now celebrate Passover, so… pretty exciting. Am going to eat plenty of Matzahs, and probably die from being over-fed. Gotta love the holidays), and we see when I next update, cuz I'm not going to make any promises cuz I'm lazy.
And thanks for reading :)