I'm probably going to hate myself for this…

Yes, I am a brony. Yes, I do have a favorite pony. No, I won't tell you right now. And yes, this is yet another someone goes to Equestria story, but fortunately, not a human. You'll see, my friends.

XxXxX

"Ow… what happened?"

I groaned as I slowly began to open my eyes, immediately regretting it. The sunshine was bright, way too bright. Seriously, how can something so far away be so bright? I slowly opened them again, but this time they stayed open. I then realized that I was no longer in my queen sized bed with black comforter, and I was most certainly not resting my head on a soft stack of flannel-covered pillows. Instead, I felt the breeze blow the grass I was laying on, and the shadows of the trees were dancing thanks to that same wind. It looked familiar, but I didn't know where I had seen such tall, dark trees before.

"Ugh… what happened?" I asked myself again. "I shouldn't be out here in the middle of the forest… what kind of shit did my brother drug me with?" I immediately pushed myself off of the ground, and began to stand on my legs… only to feel them buckle under stress and I crashed face-first into the ground. "Ow… this is very uncomfortable." I began to get back up but suddenly there was a tug on my forehead, and I couldn't move. "Seriously? I'm stuck? That's just… how am I stuck? How is my forehead stuck to the ground?" At this point I was freaking out, because it should be impossible for me. I tugged again, and eventually popped out of the ground, landing on my back this time. "Enough with the falling already!"

It was then I felt something hitting my ass. It felt so… light and feathery. Like someone's long hair. I leaned forward a bit to get a look at what was technically molesting me.

Only instead to find that my body was now the shade of an emerald, and my feet were replaced by hooves.

"WHAT?" I asked in a high pitch voice, sounding much like David Tennant did when he played the Doctor. I just repeated that word over and over again, checking myself all over. Now I was certain I was going crazy. I was also sure that I wasn't dreaming because I specifically remember having a dream the ni-

Wait… how did that dream go again?

Xx Flash X Back xX

My eyes may have been open, but it was so dark I couldn't see my fingers in front of my face. I could feel the cool air hitting my face, and my legs, and despited the fact I was completely nude, I felt… at peace. Like there was no problem now that I was here.

Do you want a new life?

Did I? I don't remember… what life are we talking about again?

A life where your friends abandon you for the simplest mistakes. A world where you must watch your words around your parents in fear that either might start insulting the other. A place where no matter how hard you try, when you screw up, you're never given a second chance. A home that isn't a home. Is that what you want?

How did this voice know of my life? Sure I angst a bit to my friends, but this voice I'm sure I never talked to before. This voice was certainly familiar, but I couldn't place my finger on where I heard it before.

I'm offering you a chance to start over, kind soul. You don't deserve the pain and agony your home gives you, the abandonment your friends force you to feel. I'm offering you a new life, in a new world, one that isn't as harsh as yours. Are you willing to go?

There should have been many reasons that stopped me from saying yes. Yeah, my friends did make me feel like I was abandoned, but given time, they always come back. My family may be broken, an unhappy, but still my parents loved me, with all their hearts. Yeah, I screw up, and some people don't give me a second chance, but it was their fault for passing me up. However, the voice is so soothing, and I've had an especially rough day today. I can't help but nod yes.

Then we will meet soon, my little friend. Enjoy your new life, Emerald.

Xx Present X Time xX

So THAT'S what caused me to be here, stuck in this new body that was unfamiliar. I was dreading what I had become, but I knew I had to check it out sooner or later. I looked around and spotted a small pool of water, just the perfect size for a mirror. On shaky legs… or maybe I should say hooves? No, legs are still legs. It's feet that are hooves now. Ugh, this is gonna be difficult for me to talk here. Anyway, I managed to eventually walk over to the puddle and look at myself.

I gotta admit, I look good.

Looking back at me was definitely a pony. Or more specifically a green unicorn. I had a black mane that seemed to match my old, curly hairstyle perfectly, with it parting down the middle before puffing up, similar to Hoop from the earlier episode. God damn, why did I have to end up in freaking Equestria of all places? Yeah, I loved the show and song and stuff, but couldn't I have been brought to another place?

I inspected myself more, and discovered a few things. One, I also have a cutie mark in the shape of an eighth note. What the heck was that doing on my ass - err, flank? Yeah, I liked to sing, but I wouldn't really consider that my special talent…

Next I discovered were my wings. So, I was definitely an alicorn. This feels like a bad fanfic from my home… anyway, unlike normal pegasi wings, these were more bat-like than anything else. And they had black webbing between the green fingers that kept them in place. Yes, I called them fingers, because they are technically, although they're a lot more limited in what they could do compared to my normal human hands.

Unfortunately, if I'm gonna fit in here until it's time for me to go home, I'll need to hide them. Alicorns aren't very common here in Equestria, and I'll attract way too much attention. I folded them up, then began to think of a way to hide them. I imagined some sort of magic that could cast an illusion on them, making them look like the rest of my body. But how could I do that? The only two ponies I could think of that could do anything like that would be Celestia herself, or her student Twilight Sparkle.

It was then I noticed my wings were gone. Actually, they weren't because I could feel them folded against my side, and I was guessing anyone who touched my apparently blank ribs would as well. I must've done that by accident, since I don't exactly understand how pony magic works here. I shrugged though. No need to look a gift horse - err, pony in the mouth. Ugh, these phrases will be the death of me.

"Now", I said to myself, secretly relieved that my voice was the same, "what should I do? I'm obviously in the Everfree Forest… and while it's not as bad as some ponies believe, I should still get out of here. I have two options… either find Zacora and have her help me get out of here… or just try to find my way out of here myself." After a few minutes of pondering, I finally decided to just find my way out myself. If I ran into Zacora, that would be fantastic, but I might as well should just keep trying to get out. If I keep heading straight, I should eventually be out of here.

XxXxX

I hate forests.

I tripped thanks to my new forelegs, I rolled down a few deep ditches and covered myself with dirt and mud, then got my horn tangled in about five different kinds of plants. Ugh… this had better be worth it. So far, this supposed "new life" wasn't a whole lot better than what I had. I never got stuck in a freaking tree thanks to an extra appendage, after all…

Finally, I reached the edge, and immediately recognized where I was. This was the path the rhyming zebra used to walk to Ponyville every now and then. Now I should focus on getting to the town… after cleaning myself off, anyway. Where's that spa that the ponies frequented?

Immediately, I shook my head. That won't work. First, I have no way of paying. Two, I may look like a pony, but I'm a few inches taller than them. Not quite the height of Celestia… maybe about Luna sized. That was part of how I kept getting stuck. They're more likely to be afraid of me thanks to my size than they'll be willing to help me. Besides, I don't even know where in the timeline I'm in. Am I at the beginning? Beyond what I know? In the middle of it? It's all so odd… Then I realize that I have to avoid the mane six as much as possible. If I interfere, it could change the whole story.

"Fan-bucking-tastic", I mutter to myself. "Now, to get a home of my own… and some money. Crud… this is gonna be harder than I thought…" I began trotting along, not exactly in a hurry, but still wanting to find a place to clean myself. I just hoped I didn't run into any of the mane characters… that would probably screw me over. I was so busy looking around to make sure I wasn't gonna run into any of them that I didn't pay attention to what was going on in front of me.

CRASH!

Apparently, neither did the other person, because next thing I knew was that I saw a pair of grey legs dangling in front of my eyes. "Um… I sure hope I didn't accidentally gore someone…"

"Nah, it's okay!" said a familiar voice. "I crash all the time! I shoulda been watching where I was going!" I slowly stood up and snatched the tail that was hanging off of my left shoulder, tugging the poor pony that ended up on me safely to the ground. Once I got a good look at her, I was so surprised that the name just slipped out.

"Ditzy Doo?"

Indeed, the pegasus in question was standing in front of me. Her flank showed off her bubble cutie mark, and her crossed eyes were wide in surprise. But soon, a smile formed on her face, and she giggled. "Haven't heard that name in a while. Most ponies call me Derpy nowadays."

At that, I frowned. I remembered that Rainbow Dash called her that, but I didn't think that everyone else did the same. "That's kinda mean, don't you think?"

"Ya get used to it." She then looked at me with those crossed eyes, studying me for a moment. I began getting very nervous, wondering why she was so intent on observing me. Finally, she turned and reached into her mailbag, and to my surprise (not entirely), she pulled out a muffin and offered it to me. Hesitantly, I reached out with my magic, and levitated it, seeing the muffin encased with a green aura. I brought it to my mouth, and chomped into it, tasting it. "Blueberry… my favorite!" I said, smiling. "How did you guess?"

"Just lucky I guess", she said, shrugging. She then nudged my shoulder with her wing. "Come on. You need a place to stay, right?"

That surprised me, yet again. "Um… you don't even now my name yet."

"So? You're new here, and you're obviously trying to avoid Pinkie. Lucky for you she hasn't noticed you next. She's busy setting up a party for the other new pony in town."

So that answers the question of what part of the timeline I was in. Ugh, this was gonna be difficult. I had to avoid them for Celestia knows how long. I groaned a bit, and with not much other option, I followed her back to her home. What the hell did this pegasus know, anyway? Ponies may be kind, but they don't invite people into their homes in the first few minutes that they met.

Something was going on, and I needed to figure out what