Alice was starting to wonder if she'll ever find her way out of the woods when she suddenly found herself on the edge of it. The wood was gone, replaced with a large meadow.

"Oh I'll never find Kitty now," she pouted. She turned around only to find herself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Are you a Snark?" said the man holding the gun.

"I don't think so," said Alice. "I'm a little girl."

"Well you certainly look like one," said the man, narrowing his gaze. "But how can I be sure?"

"Because I say I am."

"Oh why didn't you say so," said the man, lowering the gun. "You can't be too careful with these Snarks you see. Cunning little things."

"Well, what do they look like?" asked Alice.

"No one knows," said the man.

"If no one knows what it looks like, then how would you know if you find it?"

"Well," said the man slowly, waving his gun around to show how his thoughts were currently milling about.

"In fact, how do you know that it exists?"

"Because I think it does."


"Well think about it. The Snark is the greatest trophy that can ever be conceived. If you can catch a Snark then you'll be known as the greatest hunter to ever live."

"But no one knows if it actually exists."

"So either the the Snark exists in the understanding alone, or exists in both the understanding and the reality. But if the Snark only existed in my head, and the Snark is the greatest trophy ever, then I can think of a far better trophy. Namely, a Snark that exists in both my head and in reality. So the Snark can't just exist in my understanding alone, but in both my and head and in reality. Therefore the Snark must exist."

"Well that seems like a very silly argument," said Alice.

"Silly? Why would you think that?"

"Because surely anything you can think that is the greatest would then exist."

"Well of course it does. Hence why there's all sorts of perfect things out there."

"But surely the greatest trophy would be a trophy that impossible to catch?"

"What are you on about girl," roared the man.

"Well I think that the greatest Snark is a Snark that can never be caught or seen," explained Alice. "That way, people aren't sure it exists. And if people don't know it exists, then they won't try to hunt it. And if they don't try to hunt it, then the Snark will be freed from being hunted."

"Yes but who cares what you think," sneered the man. "You're just a little girl, and in my experience little girls aren't that good at being hunters."

"But what about-" began Alice, but the Hunter cut her off.

"See her young lady. It exists because it has the properties of existing. It has the attributes assigned to it; and one of those attributes is that it exists."

"What are attributes?" asked Alice. She wasn't sure if she liked this man, since he seemed to be quite rude.

"You know," said the Hunter. "That they're red, or tall, or round. Characteristics you assign something. For example, all guns have a trigger; and all little girls should be seen and not heard. That is a characteristic assigned to all things under that name."

"But surely existence couldn't be an attribute," argued Alice. "You can't assign attributes to something that doesn't exist, so it'd need to exist to be assigned attributes. Thus how can you assign attributes to Snarks if you don't know if they exist."

"Well I don't have time for this," sneered the Hunter. "The Snark could be anywhere, but it is most certainly not here." And with that he strode confidently into the forest.

"Oh bother," said Alice afterwards. "I forgot to ask him about Kitty. Oh it feels like I'll never find that blasted cat."