Chapter 3 - I've learned the hard way

As they clambered into the cab Matt made her climb over to the far side just so that he could look at the rounded, peachy shaped bum that was now inches from his face. They were both slightly tipsy and both of them knew Alex couldn't handle her drink too well. The cab's first stop would be at Alex's house which came a hell of a lot quicker than the 35 minute drive it normally was. When the cab stopped outside her house she went to give Matt some money for her half of the cab fare but he refused to take it.

"Nope! Kingston, I refuse to take a woman's money! This cab fare is on me, you can pay next time." Matt was trying to make it sound like a joke but it really wasn't because God, he would give anything to even just share a cab with her again.

"There's going to be another time like this?" Alex sounded quite excited by this concept although was probably terrified.

"Well Kingston, if you want there to be then there will be." Matt gave her a wink, they seemed to have being winking at each other a lot that night. Alex began to laugh but the moment was ruined by the impatient cab driver beeping the car horn very, very loudly, bringing Alex back to reality.

"I'll see you for filming next Monday then, Matt. Thank you for a lovely night out!" Alex had a grin on her face for some reason.

"Okay then, tonight was pretty good I have to say. Goodnight Kingston." He said this completely flat because if he added any emotion he would feel the tears start to burn in his eyes and he couldn't let her do that to him. Matt climbed into the cab and shut the door. As the cab began to drive away he realised he didn't want to leave neither her or Salome that night. He got to the end of the street and the cab begun to turn the corner. Matt shouted at the cab driver to stop. The cab stopped and Matt looked behind him and saw Alex standing at her porch probably trying to find her house key. Before he even knew what he was doing he handed the cab driver some notes and jumped out of the cab. He walked back up the street Alex lived in and saw her still searching for her key.

"It's not safe at night Kingston. Better get inside." Matt whispered in Alex's ear now standing right behind her. She turned round and when she saw it was him, she took a deep breath.

"Matt! You scared me!" Alex tried to shout but her voice broke. What she said came out in a soft tone.

Before she could continue what she was about to say or more than likely hit him he leaned in and kissed her. Just a peck on the lips. It lasted only less than a couple of seconds. Matt moved his head away from her and opened his eyes.

"Is that it? Is that all I get Mr Smith?" Alex was looking at him with a massive grin on her face and before Matt knew he had his arms wrapped around her curvaceous figure, pulling her in closer. His hands were buried in her luscious hair, dragging her head onto his. A sharp pain could be felt on his head, although it was a good pain and one he didn't want to stop anytime soon. They only pulled apart occasionally to get their breath back. Matt could feel her hands placed softly on his back rubbing him up and down. and They felt like they belonged there. He never wanted to remove his lips from hers ever again and it felt like this was how his life was meant to be from now on. Then she slipped her tongue into his mouth and it danced around, hitting points he never even knew he had. Alex removed her tongue from his mouth and their lips parted. They were panting hard and Matt was still holding her in his arms.

"We shouldn't have done that." Matt didn't look at her but kept her head rested on his chest as he stroked her hair.

"I know." Alex whispered "But it was brilliant, wasn't it?".

Alex moved her head from his chest and laughed. Oh god her laugh. He didn't dare look down at that point and he hoped she hadn't either. Her laugh had sent him over the edge but he tried to forget about it.

"Matt, I didn't know you... you were attracted to me like this ?" Alex kept staring straight into his eyes but before he could reply she started to speak again. "This isn't right Matt. You have Daisy, she's your girlfriend and you've betrayed her, she deserves more".

"I know but.." He decided to plead, beg to her that he wanted her and not Daisy Lowe.

"But nothing. We will just carry on as normal because we both know it isn't right."This is right" Matt thought. "Not that I'm saying it wasn't enchanting."

They both laughed at that point and Matt pulled her in for a hug. They both clung to each other and Matt knew that this was what he wanted. He wanted Alex Kingston. He didn't want to hurt Daisy but she could never give him what Alex gave him and he could tell Alex knew that.

Matt was the first to pull away and just said "I have to go home Alex. To my girlfriend". He only said it to see if she would beg him to stay but she didn't. Alex just looked totally defeated. She found her keys eventually and opened her front door. Turning around she gave Matt one last glance with her tear filled eyes that made his heart stop beating for just a second before she shut the door.

Matt didn't know what to do. He wanted to bang on the door as loudly as he could and demand she came outside and admitted that she enjoyed that kiss again. Demand that she wanted him as much as he wanted her but he couldn't. Matt knew the only thing that he could do was what also the thing he least wanted to. To go home to his girlfriend. His damn girlfriend.

As he walked down the stairs from Alex's porch and along her pathway he felt a single tear fall down his cheek. He had never cried over a girl before, ever. But then again Alex Kingston wasn't a girl, she was a woman. A whole lot of woman from what I had just experienced only moments ago he thought to himself. He dialled the number for a cab and sat at the end of her path on the curb outside her house with his head in his hands waiting for the cab. When it came and he was climbing in he couldn't help one last glance at her house and he could have sworn he saw her at a downstairs window staring back at her. That just broke his heart even more.

OoOo

Alex shuffled along to the far side of the cab, which left her slightly disappointed as she wouldn't be able to sneak a glance at Matt's bum now, although she already had many a time before now. That made her giggle a little which as a result made Matt dig her in the side. The cab was going to her house first, which was a little disappointing because she couldn't help but wish it was only going to her house. However it was an example of how Matt always put her first. He always made her feel more special than she really was.

The cab pulled up outside her house and she tried to give Matt half the fare but he refused, of course. Again always putting her first. When he said she could pay next time she hoped he meant that they would be sharing a cab alone again and not something else. She tried to hide the massive grin threatening to take over her face.

"There's going to be another time like this?" Even as she said this she was trying to hide the massive grin she knew had made an appearance. Though it was hard to disguise her happiness.

"Well Kingston, if you want there to be then there will."Matt added in a little wink for good measure when he'd finished talking. She couldn't hide it this time and just burst out into laughter but before Matt could join her the man in the cab got impatient and beeped the car horn.

"I'll see you for filming next Monday then Matt. Thank you for a lovely night out!" Alex chimed as she realised where they were and began to walk away from Matt and towards her front door. She started to think that she couldn't wait until next Monday.

"Okay then, tonight was pretty good I have to say. Goodnight Kingston." He had turned around before he'd even finished the sentence probably because he didn't care about hearing a reply. She unzipped her handbag as she walked up her path trying to find her keys. Her hands were shaking so much... It took her ages to try and even pull down the zip on the inside of her bag. She was rummaging around and was finding anything but her keys – make up, tissues, and even old sweet wrappers. Just as she found them at the bottom of the pocket she sensed someone behind her and before she could turn around they whispered "It's not safe at night Kingston. Better get inside.".

"Matt! You scared me!". Alex meant for this to come out of her mouth as a shout but it only was a little louder than a whisper and before she could protest anymore his lips were pressed against hers. It only happened for a few seconds and yet he had nearly knocked her off her feet with a little peck on the lips. Then it hit her. He must feel the same way as me. Before she was even aware of what she was going to do, she said "Is that it? Is that all I get Mr Smith?". A massive smirk appeared on her face and not even a second later her fingernails were digging into his scalp, running her fingers across his head with her open mouth pressed hard against his. Matt's hands were buried into her hair and they were dragging their heads towards each other with such a passion that Alex could barely think. There was no space between the two of them - and both their bodies were pushed against together, creating a sense of urgency to carry on. She slowly began to move her hands down his upper back, drawing patterns with her stretched out slender fingers. Her tongue slid into his soft, moist mouth, dancing around and hoping it gave him pleasure of which he was definitely returning. As she took her tongue from his mouth she heard him panting just as much as she was.

Alex just left her head on his chest. She could feel him stroking and running his fingers through her hair and felt as though she never wanted him to stop. "We shouldn't have done that." Matt suddenly broke the silence and Alex realised then that he didn't want her, he just wanted a fling. She said the only thing she could think of at that moment "I know. But it was brilliant wasn't it?".

She moved her head up away from his chest and laughed. Matt didn't laugh but a smile was sprawled across his face. She knew he wasn't going to talk so instead replied "Matt, I didn't know you... you were attracted to me like this" She was staring straight into his eyes but before he could start to reply she started to speak again. "This isn't right Matt. You have Daisy, she's your girlfriend and you've betrayed her, she deserves more". Just saying those few simple words broke her heart, but they had to be said. She knew he just wanted an affair – not a woman to tie him down. He had daisy for that.

"I know but.." She could have given him a chance to speak but decided that if he wanted to speak bad enough then he would find a way.

"But nothing. We will just carry on as normal because we both know it isn't right. Not that I'm saying it wasn't enchanting." Both of them laughed at that point and Matt just pulled her in for a hug. She clung to him and it hurt knowing he was with Daisy and she wasn't who he wanted. If she could have done, she never would have let him go again. Being so close to him and yet still knowing that she wasn't what he wanted full time hurt. A lot.

Matt unwrapped his arms from around Alex and she took that as a hint to remove her head from his chest and hands from the small of his back. In barely more than a whisper, he spoke. "I have to go home Alex. To my girlfriend". It seemed as though it hurt him to say that but it was probably just because he was scared she would start shouting and screaming at him which she had to stop herself from doing. She wanted to say something back but just couldn't find any words to say. Alex just tried to find the keys in her bag, and luckily found them almost straight away and let herself into her house. Say something Alex. Tell him how you really feel. All she managed to do was stop herself from breaking down there and then. Stepping over the threshold she turned around and looked at Matt who seemed to be completely calm by the whole thing and just shut the door.

The second she was inside her house she just collapsed in a heap on her 'Welcome home' matt she had at the door. No sound came out of her mouth but the tears kept rolling down her cheeks. All that kept running around her mind was that he had lead her on. Matt didn't have to kiss her there although she didn't actually kiss him back. For that moment she had just completely forgotten about Daisy and she felt so guilty about it. He had kissed her though so she really couldn't be blamed for all of this, if it came to a blaming case. She hadn't realised how long she'd been sitting there but she heard a car horn beep outside. Matt's cab. She ran to the front window and saw him climbing into it with a bright red face. Probably just from the cold outside. As soon as she noticed he was looking in the direction of the house, she took a quick step back from the window and pushed the curtains shut in the process.

She done the only thing she could think to do in that moment and went up the stairs to her bedroom. In the bathroom she stared at her red, blotchy face in the mirror and splashed some cold water on it even though she knew the second she went to bed she would begin to cry again. Thoughts about what had just happened were running through her mind and she just couldn't make sense of it all. Her normally clockwork-like mind was becoming like a jumble sale! On the way to her bedroom she decided to check in on Salome. Opening the door quietly making sure not to wake her, Alex stood up on her tiptoes just to see Salome's tightly shut eyes and head laying on the pillow. That made her smile at least. Her daughter was completely unaware that her mother was an emotional wreck at that moment and had been for a while that evening.

Alex clambered into her bed. She pulled down the covers and then once she was comfortable she pulled them right up to her chin like a child would do. The empty side of the bed always gave her shivers because she knew there was only one person who she would ever want to fill it. This made her burst into tears again and she hugged the unused pillow in an attempt for comfort. All she could think of was that kiss and how magical it had been. God, there may as well have been fireworks.

She heard her bedroom door open and she turned round to look. She saw Salome sneaking in with her teddy bear in one hand.

"Mommy?" As soon as Salome said it Alex just burst into tears and replied "Just come over here my darling". Not another word was spoken between the pair because, as they say, actions speak louder than words. Alex just lay there and cuddled Salome into her; and it gave her some comfort and made her think that no matter what happened she would always have her beautiful daughter. Salome didn't ask what was wrong – she just lay there and let her mother silently cry into her hair until she fell asleep. Alex followed her lead and just a little while after was asleep too. The last word she muttered before she fell asleep was just simply "Matt".


Hiya everyone, thank you for the positive reviews and sorry that this chapter has taken so long to get up. :-)

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Hope you's like all the magic that's happened in this chapter! :-)