Hi :) thanks to everyone who reviewed! It is always nice to read them. So I was reading that there most likely will not be a second season of the River. I cried for about twenty minutes. So this will most likely be my last chapter. It is done completely in Kurt's POV and hopefully it explains any questions you might have had!
The crew frantically ran around the deck, shouting at each other, trying to figure out what to do. I gazed at the water; the only thing going through my head was that I was most likely going to die in that water. We were all trapped here; we will never be able to leave.
This is definitely not how I had hoped my life would turn out. I had, of course, hoped to be married soon… guess that's not going to happen. The pain I feel whenever I think of her filled my body. No one should ever have to put bullets in someone they love. Ever. But what other choice did I have? If I hadn't killed her, she would have killed everyone on this ship, which most likely included me. I was technically the protector for this crew… And I admit I had grown attached to them. I don't mind Clark or Lincoln, but when it came to Jonas and Aj, I really didn't like either of them. Lena was sweet; I wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to her… I would even go so far to say I would try to protect her more than the rest of the crew. I wasn't on the best terms with Tess, but she wasn't too bad once you got to know her. Emilio was protective over his daughter, a trait I admired. And it would kill me to see anything happen to Jahel. I hate to admit it, but I actually had the same protectiveness over her as Emilio. And then there was Ava. I glanced at her; she was trying to calm Clark down, who had grown quite scared. She was such an innocent girl… but I found her incredibly stupid. She never asked about why I was in the amazon when she found me, and I didn't have the heart to tell her… but what I did has haunted me…
My employer handled everything over the phone, and didn't like telling me much. All I knew was that the crew were searching for something, but I wasn't given details. I was told to go with a crew and kill all of them. Not hard. You have to understand that I am a hired gun for anyone who wants me. If that involves killing, then so be it. But once I arrived on the boat, I discovered two little kids and a girl about Jahel's age. I waited five days, and then when we were all out on the deck, only one person was trained to fight, but I had taken care of him below deck… I shot them all. I stood on deck, the small children and the girl dead at my feet. I stumbled back and had to clutch the rail to keep from falling. I couldn't believe I had just done that. The gun slipped from my hand and it clattered on the metal. No amount of money could ever be worth this.
But I didn't take out the other man completely. He had woken, come up to the deck, saw the people dead and attacked me. I fought back, but he had a sharp blade in his belt. He cut me on the arm, nothing bad but it hurt, and gave me a good bloody nose and a black eye and several knees to the stomach. He had his hands around my neck, choking me and had me over the rail. But I had gotten my hand on the knife out of my own belt and stabbed him in the arm. He roared in pain and let go of me and I fell in the river. I swam to the shore, feeling weak and battered. Not something I was used to. I crawled up on the land, rolling on my back and taking deep breaths. I scrambled to my feet, feeling light headed. I began walking through the jungle; actually it would be considered wandering. The jungle floor blurred into a whirl of green, and light circled around me. I stumbled out of the trees and into a clearing, where I saw a girl. She seemed shocked to see me. I opened my mouth to say something, but then the world went black.
I didn't wake until I felt something touch my forehead. I reached up and grabbed someone's arm. I heard a gasp and opened my eyes and saw the girl. She looked scared, but quickly composed herself.
"Where am I?" my voice sounded thick and slow. I propped myself on my elbow so I could look get a better look at her.
"You're in the forest, please lie down. You have received quite a few injuries" she responded and pulled her hand out of my grasp.
"Who are you?"
"My name is Ava. Who are you?"
I glared at her. Should I trust her? I didn't know her at all, but there was something about her… something I found intriguing. But I still didn't answer her.
"You don't have to tell me your last name. But I would like to call you something other than man" she told me. Well, might as well for it.
"Ok, it's nice to meet you Kurt" she said and smiled. I loved her smile. But then her father, I'm assuming, came running back with a healer. He said something to Ava and grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up, but at that moment I didn't want her to go. I stared at her, silently begging her to stay. She understood and came back beside me. I guess I felt safe with her, I don't know.
The healer sprinkled different herbs on me and chanted words. After half an hour, I began to get drowsy. My eyelids began to close, but then I felt a pain go through me. I moved away from Ava, who had jumped up and was holding her hand… in the exact place I was hurting. The healer stared at us and then pulled out a bone and stabbed me in the shoulder. Ava yelped and clutched her shoulder. I stared at her. There is no way she could feel my pain… that's impossible. But yet it happened.
I decided to stay in the amazon because Ava grew on me. I started to like her as a friend; I wasn't able to admit it to myself if I liked her as anything more. One day, we were walking when I heard something move in the bushes beyond us, and I halted in my tracks.
"What is it?" Ava asked me with her soft voice.
And then I saw him. I turned and knocked her to the ground, just in time to save her for getting a bullet but it lodged itself in my shoulder.
I jumped forward and covered her mouth. The pain was really bad, but not completely unbearable. I clamped my hand over her mouth and she remained silent, but still staring wide eyed at me. I removed his hand and she looked at my arm.
"Are you ok?"
I couldn't help but smile, even though it came out as a grimace, at her "Oh, I'm just fine"
I heard a twig snap and I looked up and saw that man from the boat. I had no idea how he found me but it didn't matter. I took my knife and threw it, hitting him in the forehead. My mission was officially over.
"You have incredible aim" Ava said and walked over to me, examining my shoulder. It was obvious she was not happy about looking at it.
"Don't look at it-
Normally I don't like people interrupting me, but I was tired and in too much pain to care. Ava took me to the shade of a large tree where she pulled out the bullet, dumped alcohol and wrapped up my shoulder. She remained silent while she worked, which made me happy because I didn't have to explain why I killed the man. After she finished, she packed her things and then curled up beside me. I put my arm around her and I fell asleep with Ava safe under my arm.
Ava's father hated me. I honestly didn't expect anything different. I knew I should leave the amazon so Ava would not be so focused on me… but I didn't. And her father was angry.
"You need to leave" he growled at me. Ava was asleep, so we were both speaking in hushed tones.
"You can't expect her to stay with you! She is young, she needs to live her own life and you are holding her back"
"She chooses to be with me. If she ever told me to go, I would. But she never has"
"She doesn't tell you because she doesn't have the heart to send you away! I am her father. I know what is best for her. And it is not you" he spat at me.
"If that is how you feel, then I will leave" I told him and turned and walked out of his small house. It was miserable outside, with sheets of rain falling from the sky. But there stood Ava, her hair dripping wet and her clothes soaking. She must have heard us fighting. She ran up and put her hands on my chest, forcing me to a stop.
"Kurt, please don't leave! It's just papa, he is-
"He is your father and I have to do what he says"
"Ava, I don't want to stay here. I just want to leave. I don't want to see you again" I snapped at her. She was hurt by my words, but I knew it was the best way for her to let me go.
"Just leave me alone Ava" I said and walked away, leaving her crying in the rain.
Thinking back now, that was probably not the best approach. But you can't change the past. I went back to Berlin where I reconnected with an old girlfriend, Ana. We started out relationship again and I asked her to marry me. I managed to push Ava from my mind and I almost forgot about her. And then I got the call to be security for a rescue mission for Emmet Cole. But Emmet Cole was close to finding the Source. I could not allow that. So I would kill him and the crew. But when I arrived, my world was turned upside down when I saw her. I would never be able to kill her.
The first day was not fun. As soon as she saw me, she turned and walked the other way. I sighed; this was going to be an interesting trip. I didn't try to talk to her for the rest of the day, but after everyone had gone to bed later that night, I sought her out. I checked her room, but she was not there. I made my way to deck and I saw her sitting on the rail, her arms around her knees.
"Hello" I said quietly. She didn't even turn to me.
"What do you want?" she asked. Her voice was icy, I hated it. I loved her soft voice…
"To see you"
"We will be stuck on this boat for a while, and I think we should talk to each other. I've missed you. And I am sorry about everything… you didn't deserve it" I said and stood beside her.
"It's not that easy Kurt. If I had known you were going to be here, I wouldn't have come"
Ouch. That hurt.
"Can you ever learn to trust me again?" I asked her and flicked back a piece of her hair so I could see her face. She flinched at my touch.
"I don't know. Will you leave again?" she asked me. She turned to face me, her eyes serious.
I bit my lip… should I tell her about Ana? I knew I should have… but I didn't.
She smiled slightly and looked back at the water. It took two days for her to be able to talk to me normally. The first day, she just spoke to me shortly and quietly, and then she would disappear to her cabin. I met her again at the rail that night. We talked about small things for over an hour, but then her eyelids began to close and I walked her back to her bed. The next day we talked for longer periods of time. And then once again we met on the deck, and she told me about what had happened to her in the time we have been apart. She began trusting me again.
I didn't tell her much about me, which she was accustomed to. She never asked. But would she trust me knowing I killed children? She would hate me, as I hate myself. But I realised now what I had never been able to tell myself before… I had feelings for Ava that are deeper than I would ever like to admit, and they would never leave. I couldn't live without her. But she still didn't know what I had done… And I needed to tell her.
I turned to Ava and grabbed her arm and pulled her away from Clark.
"What is it?" she asked, looking concerned.
"I need to tell you something"
Well, that's it! I hope you enjoyed it. The rest is up to your imagination.