Maybe Later.

Emma's home from rehab, long story. Manny's marrying Sean, and Emma finds herself insisting life will be perfect as long as she gets Sean back. Also, bad ol' Jay, who seems somewhat good now, is helping HER do this? She won't ask questions right now, but maybe later.

AUTHOR NOTE: Sean NEVER came back through highschool, he left after the shooting, didn't come back. Manny and Jay didn't happen.

Emma Nelson was now 20 years old, she still looked like a young adult, with a model like tanned body and long blonde hair. She looked like she could have it all..yet, she didn't. She had nothing.

Least, she felt that way.

Her eyes were closed as a taxi brought her back home. She been in and out of rehab for almost a year and a half now, hopefully now, yet some people doubted it, was her final recovery and she'd never go back to it.

Emma's eyes clenched shut more than they were when her dreams brought back memories.

"I'm your daughter." Emma said sitting on a hospital bed next to her ill mental father, Shane. He smiled wide. Emma was what? 13 or 14 then? She had hunted down her father finally, and no, her father wasn't always mental, the rumors were he tripped on acid, and jumped off a bridge..

Emma could say her drug problem came from Shane, like father like daughter... but that was just a sad excuse.

"Emma." Snake told Emma, rubbing his forehead and shutting his eyes. The cancer was getting to him. Emma was now around 15 at this point. This was when Snake came over to her and Sean when they were trying to find moment of peace, "I really need you to baby sit Jack."

Emma sadly frowned and looked to Sean, who was just complaining about never being able to see her. He looked at her sadly aswell until huffing, and looking down.

No, Emma couldn't blame her addiction on Snake, or even her mom for that matter. Or Sean. Though Sean caused pain, that's what love was... right?

"Glad your here Emma, sorry I kissed you. You made my list." Rick told Emma, walking down the hall of her grade 10 Degrassi year. She stood next to Sean who put her behind him, saving her life when Rick went to shoot her.. he aimed that gun right at her head.

BANG!

Emma woke up with a bit of a jolt. That was about almost 4 years ago, sure it scared her like hell still but.. was that the reason why she did all she did? Maybe it was time to just blame herself.

She was a stupid influenced girl she guessed.

Her eyes fluttered a bit, she was so tired. Memories still flooded into her head...

"Everybody thinks I'm a freak now." Emma insisted, sitting on a park bench a week after that shooting. She was at the ravine.

Next to her, the one and only Jay Hogart sat staring at the fire infront of them intensely until he tilted his head to glance at her and squinted his eyes abit, giving her an unreadable look.

Emma's big brown eyes looked to him and curiously asked, "Do you think I'm weird?" as she asked this, he chuckled softly and stared into her eyes before shaking his head no.

And just like that, she was underneath him, he was kissing her as passionately as she's ever been kissed before.

Who knew she'd need Jay or Jay would want her after how many times they fought and how much they hated another. Guess that fire was their only passion, or something like that.

A doctor rounded the class, Emma remembered it like yesterday, "Gonorrhea. An STD disease that clogs the throat, making it a bit sore...but, can be cured."

Emma, who had been having a sore throat, suddenly swallowed a nervous lump in her throat. Her and Jay, Jay had been messing around with Alex and rumours had it, Amy too. Did she have this? Did he do this to her?

Well why wouldn't he? He was Jay Hogart. Careless, rude, and self absorbed. Only wanted pleasure out of all this. For a second she thought he was really helping her through this bump in her life. Time to go back to old times, Jay was no more a romance interest, he couldn't be, he wasn't the type.

"I think I'm sick." Emma remembers crying to her parents who tightly embraced her.

Emma tried forgetting about the whole Jay thing, yeah they had their rants here and there though, it was a wierd friendship, if that's what you'd even call it, as much as they hated another, it balanced out having another in eachother's life. She couldn't really see Jay not being around if that made sense.

Then came last year of highschool, when a Lakehurst stabbed JT. JT died in the arms of Liberty, infront of Emma's house, at HER party.

God, it was all her fault, why did she have to throw- um, anyway, this wasn't the reason she turned to drugs, it was just the final hit. How could this world be so cruel? So Emma thought, where was a place to get messed up? More than she already was..

Why the ravine ofcourse.

So like she had said, it was only pot first, also, Emma decided it was best to pick a college far away, and that's where she met her boyfriend Kelly, she then got into oxy cotton, and then came the coke.

"Hey girlie!" the taxi driver called out from the front.

Emma sat up straight in her seat and rubbed her eyes, "Yeah?" she squeeked.

"We're here." He confirmed with a slight smile.

Emma looked down a bit sadly until she got the courage to look up. They were turning onto her street, and the last time she was there came rushing to her head, where her parents found out she had a bad problem, right before she went to rehab.

FLASHBACK:

"So glad you could make it home for the holiday Em, how's college?" Spike opened the door for Emma to hop in.

It was cold, winter, yet Emma remembered she couldn't feel much back then.. she was so numb on the coke. It was somewhat.. a great feeling, to not feel.

Emma felt her energy speeding up, she had snorted a line before she came in, for courage you know?

Emma smiled widely speaking fast, "So good mom! You have no idea. Opened my eyes to like, everything!"

"Well, glad you got your spunk back." Laughed Snake, coming from behind and hugging her, that's when Emma noticed two more people. One, Manny, ofcourse!

But then Sean Cameron.

What...the...hell.

She wasn't on that much drugs so WHAT the FUCK was he doing here? And why standing so close to Manny? He looked nervous.

"Hey Em." He finally breaths, his eyes sinking into hers. Not like she could catch that moment, so many questions were flooding into her high head.

"Sean? What..what are you doing here?" Emma tried to muster a shocked, but a good shocked, smile.

Manny put a hand on Sean's shoulder.

Emma felt anger rise in her, but hid it.

Manny explained to her best friend, "Sean goes to the same College as me, Em. We're study partners now. Hope...you don't mind. He's the only person I knew there."

Emma bit the end of her tounge before snickered, "Why would I mind? Good to see you again." Well that's awkward to say to the ex who saved her life in a shooting...

Both Snake and Spike gave another looks as well.

"I'll go get your bags." Sean offered, leaving. Manny awkwardly shifted before reaching over and hugging Emma tight.

"So glad you can be good about this. Missed you so much, Em." She whispered in her ear.

Emma softened a bit before smiling, Manny was still Manny at least.

"Oh...Emma." Snake said for Spike to cover her mouth.

The girls pulled away and Manny gasped, "Oh your nose is bleeding."

Emma quickly covered it, feeling caught, no, no, they couldn't know. Give an excuse, lie.

"Must be the weather. I'll go get cleaned up." Emma confirmed.

After washing up and staring at herself in the mirror, Emma went down the stairs. It's been at least 4 months since she's been home since college started. She figured Manny would still come around a lot to see her parents but to bring Sean back into her house? What was going on.

"Sean, is Jay coming again for dinner tonight?" she heard Spike ask Sean in the kitchen, preparing for their Christmas meal.

"Again?" Emma asked, over hearing that and stopped in the doorway.

"They are a package Spike." Manny joked over from the table.

Emma crossed her arms looking over the scene uncomfortably. Manny was sitting in HER spot, Sean was helping HER mother yet not here for HER? And now, Jay Hogart was popping up with visits so HER parents could make HIM dinner? What a jerk!

"Wow, new family in this house or what?" Emma joked but everyone heard the bitternes but tried ignoring it.

Sean passed Emma a sad sort of sorry look but Emma didn't notice it.

Emma then jumped feeling someone brush pass her, "Admit it Greenpeace." Jay Hogart stood next to her and leaned on the wall, taking in the view she was, "you missed me."

Did he think it was wierd Manny and Sean were hanging out lots? Sure. Definitely.

Emma viewed Jay over, still looked he did in highschool, what girls would call the 'heart throbbing bad boy', but Emma knew better. He was worse then that. Anyway, only thing he was missing was that baggy jacket he use to wear, thank god. She hated that coat.

Spike laughed from the sink and over at Jay as if his joke was funny. Um HELLO, guy who gave your daughter so much trouble in highschool! What was wrong with these people.

Emma rolled her eyes, "So what else is new? Did you sell Jack?" she taunted, she hasn't seen her baby brother yet.

No one laughed but Jay smirked from behind her against the wall. Spike turned over her shoulder giving her a warning look as the front door opened.

Snake led Joey and Craig inside, "Merry Christmas!" he called, little Angie, who was around 12 now, held hands with Jack, helping him inside. Who was now walking! And around 3 years old.

Everyone smiled and went over, sharing hugs, even Craig and Manny did, yet it looked like they really moved on and were being friendly. Emma then got nervous, Craig was once into cocaine.. he wouldn't notice her slip ups, would he?

Jay stayed back, leaning against the wall behind Emma, watching her watch her family and the Jeremiahs sharing hugs, her ex, Sean, apart of the group hug too.

He could imagine how she probably felt right now. Left out, betrayed, replaced..

Emma thought she slipped out without anyone noticing. She went down her stairs to the basement, where her room was. Zipping her bag open she grabbed a small looking bottle with white stuff inside it. The coke. She lined it up on a binder with a credit card.

Home Sweet Home.

She sniffed.

"Just wanted to come down and-" Craig Mannings came down her stairs with a big smile until frowning, seeing what she had just done, even if she did throw the binder down on the floor and stand infront of it.

"Merry...christmas.." he drifts slowly, eyeing her sadly. Never would he think Emma would be into the things she use to fight against.

Emma sniffed a little bit, trying not to but it needed to go up. She ran a hand through her hair and charged by him, "You did it once too Craig, I do it just to keep myself up for school work, so keep it quiet, alright?" she demanded, going up the stairs until turning to give him a 'got it?' kind of look.

He slowly nodded, staring across the wall. She huffed but left. He stood there, speechless.

But Emma was so kind, and sweet, and innocent. .

Doubts ran through his mind, maybe he should tell, he knew how much of a struggle it was, but.. he was addicted to it. Maybe Emma wasn't. Maybe she did need it as an energy bolt for school. But it was the holiday- maybe she had lots of homework.

"Craig pass the gravy!" Snake asked over the laughter at the dinner table.

It was actually coming from Emma, who was now suddenly fine with the whole Sean and Manny thing already, and even laughing at one of his jokes, he laughed with her.

Sean loved Emma, maybe they moved on but he'd always need her acceptance, maybe no one could understand that but they did.

But on the other side of Emma at the table, Jay tilted his head a bit curiously, narrowing his eyes at her questionably..

One thing her and Sean never had is what her and Jay had, even if she didn't want them to have it, because it annoyed the shit out of her. He always knew when she was mad or happy, sometimes even what she was thinking. And for being a sad girl moments ago and seeing right through her she was upset about Sean, her emotions flipped to totally okay with it and he was sure Dr Phil wasn't downstairs for her to talk to so why was she so suddenly fine with everything?

After dinner, they all sat in the living room hanging out. Angie and Jack were passed out already. Craig was a bit fidgety, not liking keeping Emma's secret.

"Knew you'd go to college for something like that." Sean teased Emma, Jay rolled his eyes getting up to get some hot chocolate that Spike warmed up. He'd probably peace soon.

Manny picked at her nails sitting on the other side of Sean, but whatever, it made sense they'd be wrapped up in another she guessed.

Besides, whose bed was Sean sleeping in? Yes, Manny and Sean were a thing, and she wanted badly to admit it, especially now with Sean and Emma non stop talking and giggling. Okay, she's just being jealous. Breath. They've moved on.

Meanwhile downstairs, Emma's mother went to help unpack her clothes and then covered her mouth, picking up a bottle filled with cocain. Spikes eyes watered and gazed up the stairs to where her daughter now was. Oh no..

Emma entered the kitchen now to catch a breather to see Jay in there. Oh, that's where he went, so much to be alone and try to calm down. She couldn't stop shaking, she was getting too ansty, they might of noticed something.

Jay and her connected eyes, and that's when Jay squinted his eyes to get a better look at her eyes. Emma darted her eyes away from him. Oh god, she was being nervous around the wrong people, it was Jay who could find out just by looking at her. Run, run from him Emma.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" he said outloud, taking a step toward her. Emma was infront of the counter so couldn't back up.

She moved her head to the right, "Nothing." She snapped and tried going around him, he grabbed her wrist, "Jay!" she exclaimed.

His rough hand let go and then cupped her face, his fingers slipping through her blonde hair, gently but determined.

He stared into her eyes. Emma softened looking back up at him but then remembered what he was trying to figure out and struggled out.

"You're high!" Jay yelled, following her to the door and slamming it closed before she could go.

Emma hissed, "as if you're the only one to point fingers. You smoke pot more than you drink, and that's a lot coming from someone who has beer for breakfast." She started to pace.

She felt cornered. This was bad, bad. First Craig, now Jay. Oh the world ended if Jay Hogart knew something.

"It's pot!" Jay said, justifying it wasn't as bad, "Your on something else, your pupils are huge, you've been acting wierd..." he looked like he was trying to figure it out and his eyes seemed to darken, "Are you snorting cocain?"

Why'd he look like that? Why'd he look like he cared? That jerk! That hypocritical jerk! She was positive he only knew because he use to be into coke too! She heard the rumors! He probably still was.

Emma shut her eyes and ran her hands through her hair as the kitchen door opened, "You are, aren't you?"

Emma and Jay whipped around to Spike holding that cocain bottle. Emma's world came crashing around her, even Jay took a step back. He didn't think Spike would come in.

"Mom." Emma cried, shaking her head. She couldn't explain it.

From behind Spike, Snake, Joey, Craig, Manny and Sean slowly crept up behind, looking at the scene.

"Great, come on in! It's a show right? Always is with you people!" Emma exclaimed, tears beginning to fall.

Jay frowned deeply, still standing right behind her as her judgemental family stared her down from infront. This wasn't their business, nor his, it was Emma's, and her parents'. He's been through this before..

Meanwhile, Emma pushed Snake away from her, "Don't touch me!" Emma cried, she didn't want to be touched.

When Sean gave her that look, that sorry look, that PITY look, Emma wanted to die. As if he had to pity HER, he's got to be just as fucked up as she was! Don't dare look like you are better than her.

"I saw her do it downstairs.. I was afraid to say something during dinner." Craig whispered.

Emma's mouth fell giving him a 'what the fuck is wrong with you' look.

"It's been more than hour, her eyes are still a bit dilate, means she does it a lot." Craig admitted.

Spike joked on a cry and leaned into Snakes embrace.

"Emma." Whispered Manny, shaking her head and couldn't believe she was into this.

Craig finished, "It means she's addicted."

"Thanks Doc." Jay finally snapped at him, that shut Craig up.

Emma felt ambushed, Spike was hysterical crying into Snake's arms who was yelling at Emma that needed help, and what bag things she was doing to this family.

Jay had slowly crept out the side door. He took one more glance at her through the screen door, she was crying, fighting with everyone, he looked away sadly and left the house. He sat in his car for a few moments until finally getting the courage to leave.

Hopefully Sean and the Manning's left too. This wasn't for them to see. Like Emma had said, it wasn't a show. It wasn't fair for them to see her like that, it wasn't her fault, she got into something that was addicting, she couldn't help it.

..She wasn't suppose to be like this. She didn't deserve this.

"I'm calling Doctor Ribley." Spike said after whipping her tears and going to the phone.

Emma stood in the middle of the kitchen, just staring down at the floor. Everyone had finally left, Sean was last out the door and glanced back at her, she didn't want to even look at him. He frowned and left too. Emma then whipped around to see if Jay was still there.

Gone.

...where did he go?

END OF FLASHBACK

"Ready?" The taxi driver stopped the car.

Emma looked at her house for a moment until nodding, "Ready than ever."

She was home from rehab finally, and Manny was getting married... to Sean. She knew it was going on, she wasn't stupid, just didn't believe it'd get that serious, nor believed Manny would betray her like that

I mean yes Emma once dated Peter after he hurt Manny, but that wasn't her first love or anything close to that. Everyone knew the Sean and Emma deal.

Maybe if she got Sean back and things went back to normal, it'd all be fine again. She heard he got an auto shop, just like he always planned when they were teenagers, maybe they could still have that dream life they use to gush over together. If Manny could hurt her like that why couldn't she hurt Manny back?

Besides, this could be good for her recovery.

Yeah. That was it. Everything would be better if she just got Sean back.