It was late, Emma was still in New York in her dim lighted hotel room. She helped Manny as fast she could to pack and ran her to the airport.

She left Sean a message, telling him everything and how sorry she was and how the two were just afraid of change, but she knew he loved Manny and he better really make it up to her and keep her happy. And said to have a beautiful wedding tomorrow.

Manny thought Emma was going to get the next flight, but she wasn't. Emma wasn't going to go to the wedding, she didn't think it was right.

Manny would understand.

So here she was, icing her little bruised cheek. A least it wasn't too ugly or big at all, just had a little shade of blue and stung if she touched it.

She looked out her window to the city of New York. Being away would help for a few days.

She changed into a black tank top with her yellow soccer boy shorts. She swung her hair into a messy bun as her door knocked.

Room service! Time to eat away the pain.

Emma skipped to the door and swung it open, FOOOODD- Jay?

Jay stood there, nothing but himself leaning on her door frame, holding the note she wrote her parents about it may being a shock, but she left for New York.

"You know Emma." He said her name so huskily her knees felt weak, "It was a bit of a shocker." He admitted playfully and looked over at her.

Emma shut her eyes halfway, biting her lower lip, it wasn't what it looked like!

"Were you just running from all your problems?" he asked, and pointing at himself a bit hurt, "From me?"

"No!" Emma exclaimed, shaking her head no back and forth and sighed, letting him in, he wouldn't step in though and Emma scoffed, "You flew all the way from Toronto but you're going to stand out there and make me explain everything to you?"

"From the beginning." He taunts, eyeing her sternly and crossed his big arms over his chest.

Emma rolled her eyes, she was in love with a tough ass.

She then took a deep breath. She was in love with him. Guess today was confession day.

"Guess it starts with you then..." she admitted and he gave a confused look, "Four years ago, the first time I've ever ran away from something...and Emma Nelson does NOT run from anything." She bittered, feeling kind of weak when it came to Jay Hogart.

Jay just smirked, waiting for her to go on. He liked finding out he was a weakness to her.

She groaned. He was going to make her work for it, wasn't he? Jerk. She'd hit him come later.

"And after running from you, because I didn't wana be hurt again..." Emma drifted off while shaking her head and tears starting to build up again, "I started running from everything, and I couldn't face the truth that things were changing, and people were leaving me, disappointing me.." she snickered remembering Rick, "Trying to kill me."

Jay softened, watching her sadly and finally stepped in, closing the door behind him.

God she didn't know she had any more tears left in her. See? Jay made her friggen weak! And soft, and girly-

"When you said you blamed yourself about me starting drugs at the ravine, thinking that was your fault cause you brought me there before? It wasn't, your crazy to think that." Emma told Jay while giving him an insane look and then looked down, "If it wasn't drugs, it would of just been anorexia again or something else."

Silence filled the room.

Jay's blue eyes held sorrow and pain and so much worry for Emma as she tried to take a breather.

"I didn't think I'd depend on it so much." Emma admitted about the drugs, "But trying to feel better after the shooting, after walking away from you and getting sick, the pot made me feel careless.. but I still thought about it, and I didn't want to, so it still hurt.. and JT's death made me break if I wasn't already broken before." She snickered and let the tears fall, "Then I got lost in it. I lost you, then I lost JT, and then I felt like I was losing my family and Manny. Then I felt I lost Sean, now I realize I wouldn't care if I did. I really just lost myself." She muttered, staring down at the ground now.

Jay stepped closer to her and her head still hung down sadly when he ran his hand up the side of her face gently and through her hair, holding the back side of her head.

"You never lost me, Em." He said quietly, watching her still not being able to look up at him. He brushed his thumb against her temple, she melted at his touch.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as his heart sored, yeah, Emma made him weak too, a total softy. Jay Hogart, weak, he admits it. Only to himself and her though!

He put his other hand on the other side of her head and lowered his own to get a view of her face, "And what created this ugly thing." He teased, running his thumb gently over her little bruise on her left cheek, her left eye closed in a cringe and glared playfully up at him.

She then frowned and admitted, "I told Manny everything, she walked in on Sean trying to kiss me." As Emma said this, jealousy stirred through Jay and he tensed up, Emma added, "He didn't though, and it was just my evil ways that led him to trying anyway. But she blamed him and ran away here, I found her, told her it was all my fault, and she hit me."

"Whatever, I hit her boy toy first and harder." Taunted Jay proudly.

Emma softly laughed, "I deserved it. We're okay now, she's back in Toronto already now and she'll be married to Sean tomorrow."

Jay stared down at her bruise still thought sadly and then cracked a joke, "Least it makes you look badass."

Emma smiled sadly and then played with her hands, "Why'd you leave that night?" she finally asked, a memory from the night everyone found out about her drug use.

FLASHBACK:

Emma stood in the middle of the kitchen, just staring down at the floor. Everyone had finally left, Sean was last out the door and glanced back at her, she didn't want to even look at him. He frowned and left too. Emma then whipped around to see if Jay was still there.

Gone.

...where did he go?

END OF FLASHBACK.

Emma confessed to Jay, "I looked for you. I needed you there, tell me it was okay in your own sick way." She joked but he could see she was really upset he left.

He remembered that day like yesterday, he waited days, months and almost 2 years for to her to come back to him. He never gave up on her.

FLASHBACK:

It was right after Jay shut Craig up for calling Emma addicted, and sarcastically called him a doctor. He had no right to be in this, and neither did Jay. Jay remembered thinking Emma just needed her family right now, so Jay had slowly crept out the side door. He took one more glance at her through the screen door, she was crying, fighting with everyone, he looked away sadly and left the house. He sat in his car for a few moments, wanting to run back in there, yell at Manny, punch Sean, yell in her parents faces for accusing instead of just helping and then just hold Emma in his arms. He finally took in the fact he had to leave, she had to go too, go and get better. He'd wait for her. Tell her he was in love with her maybe later.

END OF FLASHBACK.

Jay looked at Emma, "I knew you needed just your parents.. but hearing the news the next day from Sean, it seemed he stayed for the show as well as Mannings and his bald dad." He said and Emma snickered giving him a look, he went on, "They should of handled it better. I wanted to go back and help you Emma but.." he sighed, "It was complicated."

Emma slowly slid her hands onto his hard stomach, looking at his shirt instead of into his eyes as she admitted, "You kinda are the only one who understands me, and knows me."

Jay's eyes shut softly to her touch and her words, his heart thumping. Jesus, she could bring him to his knees if she wanted to.

He opened his eyes and replied playfully, "Even when your acting stupid. I speak fluent retard." He laughed softly when she pushed her little hands on his stomach, trying to shove him back now but he stood his ground and chuckled, "Going after Sean and all."

Emma bit the end of her tounge, feeling terrible, if she saw Jay running after someone like she did infront of him, she'd just about want to die. She was crazy jealous just over Bianca running after him. Yes, she admits it now, she hated Bianca cause she wanted Jay. God, now she knew why Jay had so many freak outs.

"Soo.. you want me, then?" Emma asked shyly.

Jay eyed her closely and confirmed, "Emma I'm not Sean." Emma looked at him like he was insane, "His whole 'poor me I'm misunderstood' bad boy time was just a phase. I'm always like this." He admits, naming his flaws, "Sometimes selfish, always out spoken, a jerk really, I do things before I think about it, I smoke, I really do have a bad past, and to be honest I don't really care about the environment, dolphins are not my thing, Emma-"

"Shut up." Emma finally breaths, crashing her lips up to his. He blinked before smiling against her kiss and kissed her deeply. They pulled away breathless with his forehead against hers. Emma dearly noted, "Yes you're a jerk and defiantly talk too much, but your honest, and your there for me, and you protect me, your independent and strong, and your everything I've been looking for. And best of all? You aren't Sean, not even the slightest." She said, shaking her head with a thankful look and smiled when he full out grinned.

Emma yelped when Jay bent a bit and grabbed the back of her thighs, jumping her up on and against him. He gave a warning look up at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "So one more thing you gotta do before I take you back."

Emma gasped, "Take me back?" she laughed at him as he simply nodded.

"Yeah." He answered and smirked when she gave him another playful glare. He carried her to the bed and dropped her on it as soft as he could.

She bounced a little and giggled as he crawled over her, making her lay on her back with him on top of her, his hands roaming up her sides, lifting her shirt ever so slightly and his hands touching her bare body seductively. Emma bit her lower lip wantingly.

He suckled against her neck and she sucked in a breath, he pulled back and then leaned down to kiss her and she leaned up to then pout when he wouldn't kiss her.

He smirked evilly down at her, "You got to admit your madly in love with me." He declared, running his finger from her lower lip where her pout was and down her chin.

Emma gave him an unbelievable look.

"Ever since you laid eyes on me." He taunted.

Emma rolled her eyes laughing, "You had me at Greenpeace." She taunted back.

He grinned devilishly, "I was just forming our cute little nicknames early for our future together." Her laugh sung in his ear. "Alright." He says, he owed her one for teasing her maybe too much in highschool.

But come on! It was like a grade 3 boy, throwing stones at a girl because he liked her.

"I, Jay Hogart.." drifts Jay leaning back down to her as her eyes sank into his, "Am madly, deeply, fucking in love with you." he closed his eyes and kissed her

Emma's heart sped like crazy and mumbled against the kiss, "I love you too.. even more." He snickered against the kiss too.

"Gotta fight me on everything don't you?" he huskily whispered while slowly moving his hands down her hips to her thighs, taking her little shorts down with his hands.

"Won't fight you on that.." drifts Emma cheekily and bent her knees up as they slid off easily.

Laying under him now with her lace panties and black tank top, Jay just found out she wasn't wearing a bra under when his hands gripped one of her handful sized breasts. He groaned, wanting her right there and now.

He watched her hands unbutton his pants as he reached an arm over his head and pulled his shirt up and off his head.

Emma gasped loudly as they finally laid naked, Jay finally plunging inside of her for the first time. She moaned out in pleasure and pain as he kissed around her chest and waited for her to get use to it. When he slid in and out of her again, she felt his huge member hitting her right spots, and though there was a bit of pain, there was tons of pleasure, and she dug her nails into his back, shutting her eyes. He whispered things into her ear to assure her. She never felt so on top of the world.

They both saw stars.