"A… no. No, not possible," Remus stated, shaking his head in denial.
"Remus, you can't say it doesn't add up…" Sirius said, taking another swig of his glass of Firewhiskey.
Harry rolled his eyes at the conversation; taking a sip of his Butterbeer, "Can we please /stop/ talking about my Professors' dating life… let alone… sex life…" he struggled giving a shudder.
"-Which does not exist," Sirius added on, grinning like a mad-man.
"Sirius, you don't know that! Stop assuming such things…" Remus scolded, giving him a glare.
"Then I'll ask him!" Sirius decided, curling his lips into a smirk.
"Then you'll get hexed," Remus said, finishing off his glass of Firewhiskey.
"True… but it makes sense, doesn't it? The only person he has /ever/ claimed of loving is Lily, and we both know she only slept with James…" Sirius paused, rolling his eyes at Harry covering his ears and shutting his eyes tightly, "… We've never seen him with anyone; talk about anyone, or… or… anything!" Sirius trailed off, trying to keep himself from laughing.
Remus sighed, shaking his head, "I'm heading home, before Tonks' gets home to see I'm out getting drunk with /you/ again," he teased, standing up and placing a few galleons on the table for the whiskey, ruffling Harry's hair, "See you tomorrow," he whispered to him, giving a firm glare at Sirius, who had a twinkle in his eye, "Sirius, I know you're going back to Hogwarts tonight, and I also know Severus is there. I don't want to hear about you being in the Infirmary for doing something… stupid," he warned.
Sirius rolled his eyes, nodding, "Of course, Moony, I won't go near him."
"You better not," he said as he walked away and out the pub. He pulled his coat closer to himself, thinking back on the last few months. It was now August 31st, and tomorrow was the start of the term, as well as Harry's Seventh–Year. Harry had beaten Voldemort in June, and the summer had been spent with trials, freeing both Severus from any claims of being a Death Eater, and clearing Sirius' name. Every Death Eater had been caught and prosecuted, normally with a kiss from a Dementor. He now had a job as the permanent Defense against the Dark Arts Professor, married to Tonks, taking care of Teddy with the help of Tonks' Mother and all of his friends. Sirius was the new Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts as Minerva had decided to just work as the Deputy Headmistress and Head of Gryffindor. Severus moved back to his Potions position. All of them having an Order of Merlin First Class under their belt, or attached to their cloaks, whichever. Life was good, or for now it was. He knew Sirius over the months had grown bored. He hadn't caused mischief since his name had been cleared in early July, and now in a drunken haze he had brought Severus up and put something together which was completely asinine, wasn't it?
He stopped in his tracks to think to himself, 'Asinine, right?' he asked himself, going over everything in his head, their conversation, the clues, 'Yes, asinine. Though… clues do fit…' he thought, shaking his head from side to side to clear his thoughts away, 'No. I will not be sucked into this!' he scolded himself, continuing to walk to his flat in Hogsmeade where he lived with Tonks and Teddy.
When he stepped inside, he saw the fire already put on and no crying or spot of Andromeda, which meant Tonks was home and was either putting Teddy to sleep or cooking him something to eat. He got his answer when he sniffed the air, the latter. He removed his coat and stretched his arms, taking a seat in his arm chair, trying desperately not to get carried away in his thoughts, but failing as he was taken back to their conversation. 'Why're you thinking about this? It's none of your business…' he warned himself, frowning at the fire, 'Yes, I know, but… that look,' he told himself, remembering the twinkle in Sirius' eye before he left. Just because Severus wasn't a… friend, per say, didn't mean he wanted him hurt, or caught up in one of Sirius' pranks, or embarrassed in front of the faculty at Hogwarts. 'Gah, enough. Stop talking to yourself," he scolded, glaring down at the fire.
"Wotcher, knut for your thoughts?" Tonks asked as she walked in, taking a seat next to Remus.
Remus looked over at his Wife, her hair was black, wavy, and long, and her eyes were blue like sapphire, "Oh, just thinking," he answered.
"Obviously," she said, rolling her eyes, "Did you have fun with Sirius and Harry? Firewhiskey, right?" she asked as she sniffed at his breath.
He nodded, "Sorry," he apologized.
"I don't know why you apologize, Remus. I've no problem with you going to get drunk, hell; I would be too if I didn't have to work. Still a lot to do since the fall of Voldemort. It's a celebratory time, plus Harry is 17 now, I'm sure these drinking sessions get you three caught up with all that you've missed because of… circumstances, right?" she asked, winking at him.
Remus chuckled, nodding, "Yes, I suppose if you look at it that way," he answered, leaning his head back to stare up at the ceiling.
"Food is almost ready, are you planning on eating? Or did you eat out with Sirius and Harry?" she asked, standing up and giving him a smile.
"Oh, no, we didn't eat, but I'm not hungry, so I'll skip, if you don't mind, Nymphado-" he was interrupted by a swat to the shoulder, "Tonks. If you don't mind, Tonks," he fixed his sentence rubbing his shoulder.
Tonks smirked at him, turning to walk back into the kitchen.
"Tonks, might I ask you something?"
She stopped in her tracks, "Sure, shoot, Remus."
"Do you think… well, it's an odd question."
"I'm use to those when talking to you, Remus," she said, grinning back at him.
"Do you think Severus is a virgin?" he asked.
Tonks blinked twice before she began throwing a fit of laughter, "Oh my… Remus! What kind of things do you three talk about when drunk!" she asked, holding her sides.
Remus rolled his eyes, "Sirius brought it up…"
Tonks wiped a tear from the laughter from her eye and smiled at him, "Sirius is insane. But, you want my honest opinion? I doubt it," she answered truthfully, walking into the kitchen before he could respond.
Remus shrugged his shoulders, closing his eyes to take a short nap until Tonks dragged him to bed.