Okay, so this fic seemed to come out of nowhere but I am incredibly happy with it, more so than a lot of other ideas that have occurred to me lately, and I hope you like it too. It's my first SaiSaku fic, so please enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Just For One Night
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The rain was coming down hard now, and she couldn't stop the shiver of fear intermingling with her anguish. He would never come home, he would never want anything other than the darkness he'd fallen into, so what was she supposed to do now? She wasn't strong enough to kill him, and she hesitated to make the move.
'Enough, that's enough!'
Sakura Haruno sobbed harder, ignoring the rain, ignoring the Uchiha and ignoring the hammering of her heart. She didn't care anymore, she didn't want to go on like this. But Naruto would never forgive her for giving up, which was why she hoped that motionless bastard was on his last breath. She hoped that last shot from her friends was enough to finally take him down.
But, if they could kill him, they were more than capable of dragging his unconscious body back to Konoha… where he would just be executed. So it was decided, and as Sakura coughed up her own blood, her team mates stood in front of her, waiting to see if they had succeeded or not. Naruto, Kakashi, Sai and Tenzou … The war was over, Sasuke had left without getting himself captured, but every now and then, he would run into leaf ninja and slaughter them without mercy. He needed to go down.
"Sakura," Kakashi said. "I think it's safe to check."
His Sharingan was showing him a lack of colour as he turned it on Sasuke and with Naruto's help, Sakura stood shakily and they advanced on the last Uchiha. She checked for a pulse, for some sign that he was alive, and sighed deeply at the coldness of his body. Medics had a saying that went "you're not dead until you're warm and dead", but she wasn't going to try to heal him. She couldn't. The way he was now, it was better for everyone if he stayed dead, not that she thought her abilities could help anyway. She couldn't kill him, but she wouldn't try to bring him back.
Sakura nodded her head. "He's dead."
And so they moved without thinking, carrying his body back to Konoha, avoiding the sympathetic faces of the people of Konoha. They wanted no pity, and so Sakura found herself spending more and more time with Team Kakashi, only seeing others when missions dictated it. Tsunade was worried about her, as was Ino, but she couldn't talk to either of them. She felt herself falling into an abyss, a dark hole that only those feeling the same thing could save her from.
And the person who listened was Sai. More than the others, who had listened for awhile and then told her she needed to move on, Sai listened. He talked about all the annoyingly blunt things he always talked about, and told her what was on him mind, but she saw the difference in him. He responded to her faster, his fake smile cracking as though beginning to realise what it was supposed to look like. She bitched about Ino and he stopped calling her "hag" or "ugly". Her given name was used now, and always with the honorific attached, and before she knew it, three months on from the death of Sasuke Uchiha, Sai had become her only confidante.
She was so comfortable around him that she started to imagine what it would be like to move on like the others had told her and be with him instead. No, she didn't think she was in love with him. She still had feelings for Sasuke, but that ship had sailed. But it helped her make a decision, and she cornered Sai after one of their missions when Naruto suggested they all go to Ichiraku's for dinner.
"You go ahead Naruto," Sakura said evenly. "I just want to ask Sai something."
The blond waved to them and took off. He was used to her dismissal in favour of Sai's company but didn't let it bother him… anymore. She sighed, trying to figure out how to word this. Sai had already given his report on how Danzou had ordered him to kill Sasuke, to wipe out the Uchiha. She had been angry at him for only a short time, his decision to help them instead helped her fury to simmer. And after Sasuke's death at the hands of the men in her team (Kakashi's had been the fatal blow), it was a moot point. She would not linger on lost regret anymore.
So she had a request of the newest member of Team Kakashi. He was a tactless bastard, just like Sasuke… so he'd give her his honest opinion, even if he didn't really understand it.
"Sai," she said softly and he tore his eyes away from the blank wall nearby.
He did that a lot, like he was scouting places to paint or graffiti. Sakura didn't understand art anyway, so she just ignored that quirk of his.
"Sakura," he responded, using her name finally, like she'd finally convinced him to. It had taken months of incessant nagging on her part.
"I wanted to ask you if you'd…" She trailed off for a moment, before diving back in. "Would you come over to my apartment for awhile? I'd feel more comfortable asking you this somewhere more private."
If he was curious as to her meaning, he didn't show it. But Sai was curious. He nodded his head and followed as Sakura moved to the closest rooftop. Despite the fact that they'd grown closer, she had never invited him to her place, and he was overwhelmed with curiosity as to her motive. He kept his face impassive, having not yet figured out what a curious person was supposed to look like (he'd discovered what happy, angry and "pummelled" looked like).
The lights that went up around Konoha once the sun had started to set were lighting up now, and the cool air associated with night time made Sakura shiver involuntarily. She could hardly believe she was bringing Sai of all people to her home. But a few moments later, they were standing in her living room and she held herself as tall as she could as the words she needed to say spilled out of her mouth.
"Sai, you know I was in love with Sasuke," she said, and he nodded his head. "And he never loved me."
Again, Sai just nodded. He wasn't really sure what to say.
"I'm never going to get to be with him," she continued, hiding the emotion in her voice well, "as he's…." She swallowed heavily. "I've come to a decision, and I want you to be a part of the outcome."
Sai was genuinely confused. "You want me to..?"
"I want to have sex with you."
His eyebrows raised instantly, and she was only slightly surprised by the show of emotion (he'd been doing that a lot lately). She sighed. "Have you ever slept with anyone?"
He nodded, and she suddenly felt self conscious. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't have asked you to–"
"Sex isn't some kind of foreign entity to be feared," he interrupted. "It's natural. I've only done it once before, for my training in the Foundation, but I know that wanting it isn't something to apologise for."
Sakura inhaled deeply at his wisdom. When had he figured out the emotion behind fear?
But she smiled nonetheless. "Thank you Sai, I understand."
"Do you still want to?"
"If you're okay with it."
He nodded. "I don't mind Sakura-chan, I am just wondering why you have asked me about this."
"You mean, and not Naruto?"
Sakura stepped over to him, but didn't grab him or touch him in anyway. "Naruto is like a brother to me, no matter how he feels. And I don't want to sleep with him, making him think that I might suddenly feel the same way he does. At least I know that with you, you'd understand there are no feelings behind this act. Not tonight."
He nodded again, and momentarily mused on the fact that he did that a lot when Sakura said something he agreed with.
"And I remind you of Sasuke," he said.
She felt her jaw drop slightly. Was she really that transparent?
"I don't mind Sakura-chan," he repeated his earlier statement. "I am quite capable of separating any residual feelings you may still have for the Uchiha and decision to have sex with me without being insulted. The only question left for me to ask is why you would want to lose your virginity to someone you don't love. Dickless told me that normal girls want their first time to be special."
She didn't bother asking him how he knew she was a virgin; maybe she had a sign plastered on her overly sized forehead, it really didn't matter.
"There is no-one else," she said truthfully. "I just want solace. Will you give it to me?"
He nodded and she smiled nervously. Sai watched her play with her fingers and stepped closer to take them in his. She looked up at him as he removed her hitai-ate and let it drop to the floor. He pulled her to him, undoing her clothes as she fumbled with his.
"Relax," he said, hoping to instil some semblance of calm in her.
It wasn't like he wasn't nervous, given that he'd learnt not to feel and nowadays, hiding his developing feelings was still second nature. But he wasn't sure how she wanted him to respond when he stripped her bare. So instead of dwelling, he raked her naked body with his eyes for a moment before lifting her over his shoulder and making a bee line for her bedroom.
Sakura grunted softly at the sensation of being swept off her feet but didn't complain. She had asked for this after all. She was all kinds of nervous when he placed her onto her bed and removed the last article of his clothing. His body was toned, pale but not unattractive, and her eyes flickered down to his limp organ. She licked her lips in anticipation, hoping this would be easier than Ino had told her that her first time had been. But as a medic, she knew that hope was about to be dashed.
Sai climbed onto the bed and hovered over her, giving her an out with a slightly questioning look.
Sakura sighed. "I'm ready, Sai, let's do this."
He nodded and moved as she parted her legs around him. Silently, he slid his fingers into her pussy without warning and she gasped, gripping him tightly; her hands had shyly moved down to his dick and started to massage it. Sai didn't worry about the sudden pain, but let out a whispered hiss nonetheless. He could feel the blood moving faster through him as she pumped him. She was so nervous, but determined not to come over as some blushing idiot.
It was just sex after all.
Sai added more digits to his ministrations, pushing down on her clitoris to heighten the pleasure and bring the rush of her juices onto his hand. Her eyes fluttered, and lust filled orbs stared back at him. She let go of his cock and leant her head back, trying to prepare herself as Sai positioned himself at her entrance, teasing her wet folds as he whispered to her.
"It's supposed to hurt, but I won't go slow because that'll just draw the pain out. Are you sure you want to do this?"
He wanted her to say yes, finding himself excited (albeit he only assumed that's what this strange feeling was, since it wasn't just his physical desire he was relating it to). She nodded and held onto his upper arms.
"Do it," she said huskily.
He seemed to tear her apart, her body complaining painfully as Sai thrust into her without abandon. He stilled immediately however, waiting for a moment as tears sprung to the pinkette's eyes. The pain was overwhelming and she let out a soft sob, unable to stop herself.
"We can still stop," Sai said. "I can finish without you if you'd like."
She shook her head slowly. "N-no, Sai. It's okay, I just need a moment."
The pain distracted her from Sasuke, but really, that was this was all about, so she welcomed it. Sai was faring well, stopping himself from moving as her walls contracted around his cock and he felt the temptation to start pounding her without mercy. It took everything he had to wait for her signal. She was incredibly tight and hot around him.
Sakura inhaled and looked up at him, piercing his dark eyes with her green orbs, and nodded.
Sai nodded back and started to move, intent on making this pleasurable for them both. It didn't take long for her to respond to him and he was certain the pain had fallen away. He quickened his pace, hoping to elicit sounds of rapture from her, and wasn't disappointed. Her mewls were driving him on.
Sakura gripped tighter to the normally emotionless man hovering over her, closing her eyes to the fact that he wasn't Sasuke Uchiha. He would never be Sasuke Uchiha. He continued to thrust into her, his laboured breathing and occasional grunts as he hit her sweet spot in synch with her mewls. She could pretend all she wanted that he was Sasuke, a part of him didn't care. Mostly, he cared about the fire burning through both of their bodies. He had been taught to recognise physical pleasure – the Foundation was ruthless in stamping out emotions, but using one's body to inflict pleasure, be it on themselves or others was still a basic lesson learnt for missions. He'd had sex once before, with another ANBU – the regular ANBU. She was now dead, having been fatally wounded only three days later, but he remembered every inch of her body enough to draw her.
Like his brother, she was another reminder that it was okay to embrace those moments of pleasure and any feelings, that they didn't actually weaken him. And perhaps Sakura could help him with that as well. He hoped so. He just needed to understand what he was feeling before he could put it into words. For now, he would just enjoy the feeling of the pinkette writhing in uncontrollable pleasure beneath him.
Sai repositioned himself, having slipped out of Sakura's vagina without meaning to. That happened sometimes. She was extremely wet. In order to prevent it from happening again, he leant closer to Sakura, whispering in her ear "wrap your legs around my waist and squeeze me tighter".
It would minimise the risk of him slipping out again.
Sakura's eyes flashed open and she complied silently; in the next moment, she cried out, feeling him slide in even deeper into her pussy. She kept her eyes open this time, grateful that Sai was leaning his head on her shoulder now. She wrapped her arms around him, letting her moans increase now as he thrusted faster.
He may look like Sasuke, he might remind her of him, but he way he was holding her and the feel of his cock as it grounded her out… she could feel how much he wasn't Sasuke. She'd never had sex with anyone else, let alone Sasuke, but for some reason, Sakura was getting the feeling that Sai was making her feel this way deliberately.
The first time could feel so romantic, he knew, and she hoped she wouldn't become clingy in any way. It would only weaken her resolve not to let some guy control her emotions in any way ever again.
Sakura had always imagined Sasuke would be gentle, or thrust with such power that she'd feel snapped in two. Sai was moving with a strong purpose that still maintained a delicate balance between every thrust. His breath hitched and she felt him shudder as her walls clenched instinctively around his dick. And then in the next moment she felt the warmth associated with him unloading inside of her and she gasped, crying out his name.
Sai was stunned to hear the name Danzou had given him, instead of the Uchiha's. He'd been expecting Sasuke's name to grace her lips, prepared for it even. But, he couldn't deny that he preferred it this way. And for the first time, he crashed her lips with his, startling her with the show of emotion as he silently thanked her for thinking of him instead of the Uchiha.
It was what he wanted. He couldn't bring himself to worry about it if she didn't want him, not really. But now that she'd said his name instead of that teme's, he had hope. Hope was a dangerous thing, Tenzou had told him. If you hold too tight it will shatter and fade away, but if you didn't grip hard enough it could wriggle out and get away. So he had to find a medium, and keep it in check without losing either way… whatever that meant.
But Sai thought he understood now.
He hoped Sakura could look at him the way she used to look at the Uchiha. He hoped this wasn't just one night and they could do this again, soon. And he hoped that no matter what, he could finally understand the extent of what this strange feeling in him was. Naruto had explained it to him, but it was only now that he fully grasped it.
Sakura moaned into his mouth and murmured his name again, pulling his dick in deeper with a grinding motion of her hips. She couldn't get enough of him as it seemed, and as she milked him for all he was worth, he repeated Naruto's explanation for his feelings in his head, hoping it would stay and continue to blossom.
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