Summary: For a prompt on NorseKink:

Loki had every intention of wreaking havoc upon Midgard the moment his suicide attempt had failed. Really. He'd planned on setting cities ablaze, smashing buildings, pillaging, all of that good stuff.

Too bad he hadn't planned on the place being so FUN.

Destroying City Hall? Maybe if he can squeeze it in between ikebana and his Thai cooking classes. Oh, he tries for the whole supervillain thing, but is it really his fault that he really likes going to yoga and hair products that don't require massive amounts of oils that leave him feeling greasy? Is it really his fault that manicures are so damn RELAXING and that those little Asian ladies in the salon are so charmingly adorable? Besides, his therapist says that all the rage is unhealthy.

TL;DR Loki gets a therapist and finds Earth hobbies that he enjoys in between bothering his brother and his friends.

Author's Note: Okay, so. This is still being posted on the kink meme, but for the sake of efficiency, I've decided to start posting actual chapters, editing along the way and cleaning them up. If you've read this before, I sincerely hope that you've enjoyed it. If you haven't, hopefully it will strike your fancy.

ALSO, if I'm on your author alert list for my Glee fics and you're pissed that I'm writing for another fandom right now? There will be more of those too, I promise, including but not limited to some Limits one-shots.

One more note. Because this is initially posted on livejournal as comments, each section is going to be short. This allows me to update quickly, but these chapters will probably not be particularly lengthy.

On with the show!

"I really don't know what I'm doing here."

"I think you do, otherwise you wouldn't have even bothered."

From where he sat in the plush and altogether entirely too comfortable chair, Loki narrowed his eyes and scowled at the woman seated but a few feet away. She wore rectangular glasses that would have made her look stern if not for the fact that her hair was red and wild and not stern in the slightest and Loki could appreciate that she clearly went out of her way to make a confusing impression. He could appreciate that a lot.


"No, I really don't."

"Mhmm, because you were mind-controlled into walking into my office, setting up an appointment with my receptionist, and waiting until I was available to see you. That must be it, clearly."

Insufferable woman.

Loki glared at her for a good three minutes until Doctor Moran furrowed her brows at him.

"Look, Mr. Odinss—"

"Loki," he interrupted her, unable to even hear the name that he'd put down on his form without thinking about it, "Just Loki."

"Loki, then. Why did you want to see me?"

Loki looked away, green eyes fixing on the painting on the wall just over her head and partially covered by her considerable hair.

"I just…" he broke off, annoyed and frustrated but a reason that he couldn't name. What was he going to say? That most of the time, he felt like his vision was constantly being blurred by rages he couldn't quite get a handle on? That he didn't know what to do with himself that didn't have to do with subjugation and destruction? That he'd always thought his father's emotional unavailability was because of him and not because of something he couldn't control? Apparently, his face said something that the doctor recognized, because she smiled at him and leaned back.

That smile was so knowing and gentle that he hurt and he wanted to rip it off her face.

"Take your time, Loki."

"I just…where I'm from, there aren't any people who study the minds and feelings of others. The sanity of others." This was very true, for there were no 'therapists' in Asgard. "I wonder now if there's always been something wrong with me that might have been fixable at one point in time if there had been." He met her eyes briefly and looked away, feeling something tight in his chest that for once didn't feel like anger. He didn't know why he was even here, didn't know why he'd bothered walking in here, didn't know why he wasn't out there, destroying everything that his moronic older brother loved so much about this world.

Oh, wait. The doctor was speaking.

"Loki, before we get started, I need you to listen to something very important. To need to be fixed means that you're broken, and broken people don't seek out help. You have and you will get it from me, I promise. I will do my very best to give you the help that you need and to get you feeling better. But I need several things from you first." Her voice was soft as though she were speaking to a wounded animal but the words were fierce, something else that Loki could appreciate.

"The payment—"

"No, not that just yet."

Green eyes blinked.

"I need two things from you."


"I need your honesty and I need your trust."

Against his volition, Loki worried his lower lip between his teeth and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"High order," he breathed, "I'm not the trusting sort. Not really the honest sort either." Loki the Liesmith, Loki the Silvertongue, indeed.

Doctor Moran smiled at him, adjusting her glasses on her face.

"Just do your best. We'll try and keep this first session light, okay? We'll talk about you and I'll ask you a few questions about yourself, and we'll see what you need to help you. Let's start by just talking. Talk about anything, anything at all. I won't judge you."

Loki shot her some intense side-eye, a dubious, questioning look on his face. He doubted that intensely.

"What is it?"

"Can we just start with the questions?" he asked, voice uncharacteristically rambling and openly tense.

"Alright, then. Tell me about the members of your family."

Loki froze.

"Um…something else?"

"How would you describe your childhood?"

The tension became something close to a flinch.

"Something else?"

The doctor sighed a little, not frustrated so much as if she'd just been proven correct about something.

"Okay, then. How about hobbies? What do you like to do for fun?"

Loki opened his mouth to speak…then abruptly shut it. Hobbies? Fun? He supposed that he could call furthering his magical knowledge something he kind of did for fun… sort of. He enjoyed it but mostly it was a way to keep up since he couldn't with brute strength. He'd rather liked training with others until it became less of a learning experience and more of a brawl that always ended with someone blacking his eye and Loki pinning someone to the ceiling.

So much for hobbies, then.

He looked away.

"I…I have a brother," he began, jumping back to the first question and figuring that it would be less painful than admitting that he really didn't have anything that he did for fun aside from causing others immense irritation, "An older brother. He's huge and dumb and blonde and he's always been better than me at everything…"

Loki had learned a few things over the past week.

One, his brother was more of an idiot than he'd thought and had decided to become a superhero.

Two, Thor deciding to become a superhero had made government buildings surprisingly easy for Loki to topple.

Three, apparently Loki had a few anger issues and an inferiority complex that Doctor Moran suspected were tied directly to his family, and they'd begin working on them come Loki's next appointment, which was exactly two days from now.

In the meantime, Loki had proceeded to pretend to be someone Very Important in order to get his hands on a penthouse apartment while making himself Extremely Rich in the process, learned how to use what the people of Midgard called a "cellular phone", and had learned from the lady in the supermarket why it was better to buy wild salmon than farmed salmon. He didn't really know which was actually better and he didn't really care all that much because it was damned delicious, thank you very much.

Did he know that creating money was considered very much illegal?

Most definitely.

Did he care?

Not really. It wasn't like the entirety of Midgard didn't already run off of funny money anyway. Why they didn't use gold or goods like sensible people, he didn't have a clue. What was wrong with materializing ridiculous amounts of gold, anyway? At the very least, you could always chuck it at someone.

Loki didn't think that Doctor Moran would much approve of his dealings and so didn't bother to inform her. It wasn't because he cared what she thought of him, certainly not. Definitely not. It would merely have been a pain if she'd decided to get more into his business than she already was, that was all.

I will do my very best to give you the help that you need and to get you feeling better.

That was all that it was. Obviously.

AN2: I hope you have all enjoyed chapter one of Truthfully! As a writer, I treasure any and all feedback whether it's praise of criticism, so please, if you have anything at all to say, leave a review!