**All characters/theme belong to the awesome Cassandra Clare. I do not own them in any way possible.
Tessa walked quickly down the corridor heading toward the training room. It was time for her shadowhunter training with Gideon and she was more than looking forward to it. With Sophie not taking part since he officially moved into the institute, he took his job very seriously and instructed Tessa till she was soaked in sweat and aching all over. Tessa thought, I need this distraction, no more wedding planning and definitely no more thing about him…
As she neared the doors to the training room, she heard yelling becoming louder and louder. Increasing her pace and wondering what could be causing this commotion. His voice immediately stopped Tessa in front of the doors. The voice who she did not allow herself to think about, the voice that unconsciously made her heartbeat faster, the voice that she wished she did not miss so much.
"I do not care what your rights are," Will said. "You are not beginning any type of training even if I have I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming."
"Like you could catch me William," Cecily replied icily.
Tessa was not too surprised to find Cecily in the room. She had wanted to begin combat training as soon as she arrived but Charlotte, considering Will's feeling, explained to her she needed to read about the decision she was choosing to make.
"PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN CECILY OR I SWEAR BY THE ANGEL," Will began to yell.
Tessa hastily opened the door to be met with two pairs of identical blue eyes, "I heard you both in the hall and it sounded like.."
Cecily stood next to where the knives were neatly organized. She wore a dark gray dress that was slightly too big for her small figure and her hair, black as ink, was held up in a messy bun threatening to fall apart. On the opposite corner stood Will, his hair tousled as if he had been running his hands through it and his clothes wrinkled like usual. He looked at Tessa regretfully, as if she was the last person he wanted to see walking through in through the doors. Tessa felt her heart give a painful squeeze and her breath catch in her throat. If her heart had healed at all in the past three months, she could not tell.
"Is Gideon on his way?" Cecily asked harshly. Forcing Tessa to break away from Will's gaze, "Yes he is, but I agree with Will you should-"
"NO! I finished my dreadful reading assignment like Charlotte said and now I want to fight"
"Actually I was going to say, I agree with your brother about putting that knife down."
"Wonderful! Thank you for that Tessa" said Will while giving his sister a satisfied smirk.
Before Tessa could even react, Cecily pulled back her arm and through the knife heading straight toward Will's head. Instinctively, Will threw himself in a crouch on the floor, his face in clear disbelief.
"In case you were wondering, I missed on purpose and he is not my brother," Cecily said in a voice that matched her icy stare.
Will stood swiftly and began to stalk towards Cecily with his fists slightly shaking at his sides. For the first time Tessa had seen, a look of distress cast itself on her face.
"I-I'll tell him" she stammered out.
Will abruptly stopped. "Tell what to who?" he asked roughly.
"You know exactly who and what I mean," Cecily said regaining her composure. "Do you just assume that people do not see those secret glances full of longing or how about that you make it a priority never to be alone in a room together…"
Tessa felt her stomach drop and her breathing stop. She looked at Will, who in return was staring at his sister as if measuring the truth behind her words.
"You wouldn't," he replied but came out sounding like a question.
"Try me William. Just because I now know you left us because of some ridiculous curse, does not make it any less alright. I was the one who begged mother to eat when she locked herself in a room immobilized with grief. I was the one who would go out looking for father in the middle of the night when he was too drunk to remember how to find home," Cecily's voice was venomous. She crossed her arms and asked, "The question now is, who will you protect? Your dying parabatai or your innocent sister."
Will looked back at Tessa for a moment, she knew there was panic in her eyes but she too did not know if Cecily was telling the truth. He looked back to Cecily with his expression no longer of stone but anguish. Cecily raised her eyebrow as if waiting for his retort. Will turned away from his sister and quickly walked out the door leaving the door slam behind him. Cecily breathed out loudly and appeared to be surprised with her small victory.
"Cecily you cannot- I mean- please you," Tessa began to say. She could not bear the idea of Jem, her fiancé, finding anything about her feeling towards William. It would ruin everything…
"I was never planning to go through with it Tessa, do not worry."
It was just a threat, Tessa thought relieved.
"Your tragic ending is inevitable. I would not want to involve myself in such matters," Cecily assured.
Tessa was struck, the tragic part had already happened. She broke Will's heart in order to save Jem's, "I do not understand what you mean…"
"What I said to Will about the glances and you are never excited to discuss the wedding, or the fact that just now neither of you ever said I was wrong." Cecily walked towards Tess with her headed tilted to the side, "It's not fair to Jem."
Hearing his name said out loud made Tessa flinch. She knew it was not fair but this was the only way..
"I know both of you believe that you are protecting him by letting him be happy but Jem deserves someone who can love him just as much as he loves them" Cecily's voice had gotten quieter that Tessa stained to hear, "Not someone who puts an act during the day and alone at night dreams of another."
Tessa felt numb, she thought she had been so discrete hiding her feelings and playing her part correctly. How could she explain that she wished more than anything to not dream about Will. Dreams where she told him she loved too and she was so sorry for hurting him. Dreams where she held him like that night in the infirmary. Dreams where she did not think about Jem. Tessa could not open her mouth for there were no words that could make Cecily's any less true.
"When I left my parents, I was aware that I was going to shatter their hearts but what about my own happiness?" Cecily said the words with no feelings behind them as if she has repeated them so often that they no longer had any meaning to them."I just hope that they love me enough to forgive me…"
"Jem-" Tessa wanted to reply that Jem would forgive her, he loved her enough to let her go but she did not want to let him go. She could never intentionally cause him any pain like she did with Will. Surviving that once was one of the most difficult things she had ever had to do and she was no sure she could do it again.
"I know you love them both Tessa but I also think you are afraid to find out who you are in love with because it might not be who you are marrying," Cecily said sympathetically. Tessa looked up from the floor and met her gaze.
"But then again what do I know? I'm just a little country girl, Jem is dying, and Mortmain is planning to bring all shandowhunters to their end." Cecily began to walk towards the door passing Tessa.
Turning around to face her, Tessa said, "Cecily"
"Yes?" Cecily glanced back to her.
"Jem will not die," Tessa said with such certainty that Cecily could only nod then opened the doors to leave.
Tessa dropped to the floor, biting her lips to hold in a scream that threatened to escape. Now was not the time to break down, for Gideon would be here any moment and she would blissfully jump into distraction he offered.