Title: Educated Drinking
Spoilers: Character spoilers for 'Big Brother'
A/N: So this is now the place I will post all my little drabbles. So 500-1500 words, mostly prompted off one word prompts on tumblr (doonarose). This one was prompted off 'pinot noir'.
"Kurt tells me you're not so great with the liquor." Cooper's sweeping into the kitchen and the clink of bottles being set down on the bench is terrifying. "So, I'm here to educate you!"
Blaine shoots Kurt a quick glare: he'd really, really hates that Kurt and his big brother have settled so quickly into an easy rapport and good humour and a mortifying alliance to make him squirm. Except he doesn't hate it at all.
"What did he tell you?" Blaine asks, getting to his feet and moving to stare at the bottles and glasses being assembled on the kitchen counter. Cooper's rummaging, pulling out bottle after bottle of spirits, juices, a lemon, a lime from cupboards, the fridge, the cabinet Blaine isn't allowed anywhere near.
"Nothing about how you jumped him in the car that one time after dancing with another boy all night. Or how you made out with Rachel. Or how you fell asleep in his lap and drooled all over his best pants. None of that stuff."
Blaine glares at Kurt but Kurt doesn't even look sorry, he's just cocking his head and watching Cooper start to flip glasses over and untwist lids.
"So, boys, wine."
They start with wine. Careful sips and then mouthfuls out of a shared glass, Cooper acting convincingly like he knows what he's doing as he swirls and sniffs. There are whites and reds and sparkling and as they work their way from light to dark Blaine starts enjoying himself. He's laughing and telling a story with bright shining eyes when he sends a glass of pinot noir skittering, the glass shattering and the wine in it spilling straight down Cooper's white shirt.
"Told you he turns into a disaster," Kurt says knowingly.
They move on to mixed drinks. Cooper again showing off, tipping things haphazardly and mixing or leaving in layers. Throwing around mint leaves and lime slices and salt or sugar rims and dazzling Kurt a little. Again they all share. And Cooper's drinking more than either and has them both in stitches with his unending anecdotes.
That time he streaked straight across the Columbia quad.
That time he accidentally set up a date with two girls for the same night, at the same restaurant but two hours apart and, oh how the waiters judged him when he put the first in a cab and then settled to greet the next.
The camping trip with Blaine when Blaine had to rescue Cooper from an enormous spider.
That time when Blaine wasn't quick enough answering his door and Cooper walked in and almost fell over trying to understand the angles of the two men on the computer screen—
"Alright, Cooper, enough!"
They make it to shots but that's when it gets really dangerous. Because you can't share a shot and you can't sip at it and savour it and then slide it across the table towards Cooper. Kurt's tilting and swaying on his bar stool and his cheeks are bright red and he can't seem to stop giggling.
Cooper's hilarious and Blaine is adorable.
Blaine's bent at the waist, ass far too obvious in the air. He can't manage to stay on a chair so he's standing but he insists on keeping his eyes at the level of the glasses so he can watch. And Kurt isn't about to complain about the lines of muscle he can see stretching out. He doesn't realize it but his hand is actually rubbing little circles into Blaine's back having slipped under the cotton of his shirt.
Cooper has noticed and it's making his lips quirk upwards.
They've tried tequila, lime and salt and gagging on the rotten taste. They've tried something Cooper can't name because he keeps laughing and it was sweet but, Kurt thinks, not so strong. (Tomorrow he'll google it and be the one to sombrely reveal to Blaine that his big brother gave them something called a cock-sucking cowboy to drink.)
"Last one," Cooper tells them, slurring a little. "It's been a good night. I'd hate for tomorrow morning to ruin it."
Kurt nods and Blaine blurts out: "It's not my fault alcohol makes me horny."
Cooper and Kurt burst out laughing and Blaine's head falls onto his hands on the table. "It's your fault," he mumbles, turning his face to glare at Kurt.
"Definitely the last one," Cooper tells them and then starts to pour, vodka splashing onto the bench.
"It's your fault because I love you," Blaine blurts some more and Kurt dragging him up and over, almost toppling off the chair but righting himself with both hands holding onto the front of Blaine's shirt and pulling him in. He kisses him hard and it all tastes like alcohol and it's messy and it's mostly to shut him up but his head swims and he feels his body tighten and heat up so fast.
Alcohol makes him horny too, he realizes with a blush.
He pushes Blaine back and gives him a dopey grin and Blaine just stage whispers, scandalized, "My brother saw that," and steadies himself against the table.
Cooper chuckles again, eyes just a little wide, and warns them about the vodka. Then they clink glasses and swallow them down. Kurt hisses and Blaine coughs and Cooper keeps laughing. Then they're all on their feet, unsteady but grinning and saying good night and Kurt's arm is around Blaine's waist, leading him without really thinking towards the stairs.
"I'm gonna stay down here for a while," Cooper yells after them, making them stop and turn. "For like, an hour, at least. I'll watch something really loud on TV."
It doesn't click for them what he's getting at until the morning. Doesn't stop them from having ridiculously giggly, messy drunk sex though.