Heeeey! Hope you are enjoying this infinite story – That might be the death of me but as long as you guys are enjoying reading this, I will keep writing for you.
Cartman is still buried under the table, trying not to call Kyle a Jew and small volts crackling every so often, when my inbox screams another batch of truth and dares… Oh man, that's a hell of a lotta work. 10 requests in just two days – Pretty amazing!
I don't know where Kenny has disappeared to, but he's most likely just trying to grab a bite. I race down the stairs, where the kids are crowded – Wendy and Bebe are exchanging 'I love you's' between each other, Token and Clyde are playing Guitar Hero III against Kyle and Stan, Pip and Damien are exchanging awkward looks and Butters is muttering about a dude called 'Professor Chaos' and his tone keeps fluctuating bizarrely.
"Guy's gather round, gather round." I call softly, watching all the children huddle around me, Kenny reappearing from the kitchen with a sandwich in his mouth, his blond hair trembling as he strode towards the group and myself.
"We have more truths and dare to fulfil for our readers… This means more work for all of us." I add in fatigue, as I haven't slept much since this actually started. "It's from Not The Time To Breakdown and he says:
Hmm, I'm not normally good with coming up with truths and dares on the spot but I'm thinking these ones through.
1) Kenny - did you ever fear that someone would find out you're Mysterion?
- do you ever get tired of nobody remembering your deaths?
2) Stan - was it true when you said to Kyle "I love you" in "Ass Burguers"?
- did you mind being Raven and drinking coffee?
3) Kyle - do you mind being from New Jersey?
- have you ever thought of one of your friends as more than that?
4) Butters - do you have a close/best friend? (If not, he can be mine =))
5) Damien - do you like being the son of Satan?
- do you get annoyed by the screams of pain in Hell?
6) Everybody - do you mind who you get paired with in romantic fanfics?
1) Everybody - who do you love?
- are you a vrigin? If not, who did you lose it to and what age?
(I thought this might pop up in the truths, but I haven't added it as you'll see their pairings)
2) Cartman - 30 sit ups in 10 mins. No breaks. Forfeit: Convert to Judaism for a week.
3) Wendy - try and seduce one of your femal friends. Forfeit: You don't get laid.
4) Stan - be under Kenny's command for three rounds and go through with everything he says. Forfeit: Cartman has to do the "Hitler" (from the episode "Asspen") to you and you can't wipe it off for four rounds.
That's it I guess. Hope that helps.
"Dude! He's called Kenny too… This is pretty fucked up!" Chipped Stan in enthusiasm.
Kenny looks completely gobsmacked. This isn't gonna be pretty…
Everyone's glaring at Kenny icily and more sparks are exerted from Cartman as he curses irritably under his breath.
"Well, Kenny?" I ask abruptly.
Sighing, Kenny stands up – I know he is going to defend his identity, but no one else realises this.
"Look, I'm sorry to disappoint you all…" He pauses as everyone looks fiercely and glares more intensely. "But I… I… I'm not Mysterion…" Kenny stutters fearfully. "And it does get quite tiresome that people don't remember my deaths, but it is nice to know that they who killed me, get called bastards.
He gently crawls over toward me to tell me the real answer and whispers in my ear.
(("I always feared that The Coon or Professor Chaos would find out who I am and expose me to the world that I strived so hard to protect…"))
A tear trickles from the blonde boy's face, shattering on the floor like glass. He pulls back gradually after his eyes have been dried free of the crystals, which had once before, made their home in his lids.
"So on that note, it's time for truth number 2!" I cheep cheerfully rubbing my hands gently.
"Dude! I was horrifically drunk and I didn't care about life itself… But yeah, I said 'I love you' to Kyle… And also I rather liked being Raven and drinking coffee, although it tastes kinda shit – Ahhh… Heaven in a cup!" Mumbled the blue and red bobble hat boy.
Kyle glanced upwards and muttered a prayer…
Cartman was still trying to restrain himself from taking the piss out of Kyle.
(Ninja… He's never gonna make it…)
"Well… It's kinda like Ike, who's from Canada, he doesn't mind being who he really is, so I learnt a very important lesson that day. Be true to yourself and it will reward you." Kyle spoke confidently, forcing Stan's boner to bulge in his tiny underwear.
Everyone swung around, including me, to see the greedy fat boy rolling on the floor laughing hysterically, looking like he was about to die from laughter. Kyle's face creased in to a frown and his lips curled up and trembling furiously. I distinctly heard his knuckles cracking, so I had to anticipate the worst and tied him in chains and locked him on the spare chair to enable him to calm the worst of his anger.
"Let me fucking go! That bastard deserves to die!" Kyle screamed rattling the chains hatefully. His howls forced the two girls to cover their delicate ears, worrying that they might rupture.
Once I was certain that he gained a level of control, I carefully undid the chains that had bound the Jewish boy, whispering hilarious thoughts about Cartman. Kyle's newly found beam was reaching for the walls as I finally released him.
I sniggered trying to hold back amusement, when Kyle finished off his truth for the requestor, and then gazed at Stan as he smiled back lovingly – I already see where this is going.
"I feel as if me and Stan have a close connection, but…" Stan's beam fell. "I want him more than that; I want us to be skin…" The red headed boy concluded.
My eyes fixed on Butters, listening to his voice still fluctuating in a sinister way. All the characters had rapidly moved away from the area that he was inhabiting, fearing what was happening to the small blond male.
I shuddered and this didn't usually happen to me, as there wasn't anything in life that I feared. Apart from now… "Uh… T... Time for your truth, B…Butters…" I quaked anxiously.
His eyes flashed at mine maniacally, an evil grin was creeping over his usually cute face, and then he finally shook the conflict that seemed to be taking place within and answered.
"I…I'm more of a reject… So I'd be grateful if I at least had a friend. Thank you Not The Time To Breakdown." He muttered, his dark tone starting to return.
Another shiver shocked my spine as he started to insanely stare at everyone. Before things got any weirder a low growl was heard and I curved around to see Damien gently caressing Pip's face. He gasped and started to answer to the truth by his requester.
"In a way… No… But if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be up here and away from those pitiful screams of the sufferers down below. They are seriously annoying – If you were down there, you'd be guaranteed a migraine." He drawled.
Now it was the pairing truth… Everyone looked happy… Apart from Cartman, obviously. I watched them all shuffle around randomly in to the most popular pairings on fanfiction, snuggling in to each others noses and tummies. There was Dip, Style, Bunny, even Cartyde, Bendy and Tokeek, as Tweek had just appeared, shaking like a leaf and drinking a mug full of coffee. They all smiled at me and nodded solemnly for the male requester.
(Phew! That's all the truths done Breakdown. Hope you are happy so far…)
"Well… Let us get on with the dares…" I speak boldly. "Cartman, you've been dared to do 30 sit ups in 10 minutes or you have to convert to being a Jew for a week…" I snort holding back more giggles.
"Ey! You bitch, respect ma fucking authoritah and don't laugh at meh, Shadow!" Cartman swore furiously, sending vicious volts flying at me.
Luckily for me, Kenny flung himself in the way and took the blast, before I caught the young poor boy in my soft slender arms.
Cartman had to oblige, as he obviously did not want to be a Jew for an entire week like Kyle. Cartman's fat rolled and flattened itself on the floor, while Cartman compelled himself to do the pretty horrific dare.
"So, while Cartman does his dare…" I start and grin at Wendy. "Wendy, you have to seduce one of the girls. Bebe's the only girl here, so get on with it!"
(This won't take long at all!)
9 minutes 30 seconds later…
Cartman had finally finished his press ups, grumbling and panting about the fact he had to do the dare. He sighed with relief though as he didn't have to become a Jew for a week.
I glanced around the room for Wendy and Bebe and heard some rather large thumps coming from the upstairs bedroom. I heard the girls screaming and groaning.
I gazed evilly at Stan and then smiled innocently at Kenny, who was now going to have Stan under his command. Stan had already conceded defeat and drooped his head down in submission to Kenny.
Once again the room fell silent, exhausted from the one requestors queries. I lay down on my stomach swinging my legs, accidently booting Cartman in the balls as he passed me and received a very harsh fit of curses. I smirked at my laptop, planning my next move on the helpless South Park characters.
Sorry I reduced this down to one requestor for this one, as it took me absolutely ages to think of solutions. Please don't hate me and Enjoy! :D