Confessions

"What's wrong Sirius?" asked James looking at Sirius sitting on his bed. Sirius had been acting rather odd lately especially around the other three boys.

"Nothing, just a few things been bugging me." Sirius replied only half listening to James.

"Like what? Come on Sirius, you can tell me I'm your best friend, you're like my brother." James persisted.

"Well, I don't know, it's rather personal." replied Sirius shifting uncomfortably on his bed.

"I promise I won't laugh and I won't tell a soul." James persisted, obviously not giving up.

"Well ok, I guess I can trust you. See I have a crush on someone, but I don't know how they feel about me. I don't think even if they did like me, they would go out with me because of who I am. I mean come on James, I'm a Black and you know our reputation." Sirius replied tears starting to creep into his eyes.

"Ok, my next question is who do you like? All the girls drool every time you walk in the room." said James playfully rolling his eyes.

"That's my problem, I don't like girls the way you do. I'm gay James, I've known that for a couple years now." replied Sirius.

"You still didn't answer my question Sirius." said James watching his friend with a bit of concern.

"The person I like is Remus. He's just so beautiful. Every time I see him I want to grab him, hold him, and run my hands through his long light brown hair." Sirius replied obviously frustrated.

"Then ask him out. I know for a fact that he's gay too because he told me, and F. Y. I. he wants you just as badly as you want him." replied James as he walked away. Then Sirius was left to sit and think.

Now what do I do? I really want to date Remus but my mother and father would kill me if we started dating. I know they would find out because I've caught Regulus spying on me. It would get back to them for sure. Then again if it did, I could always run away to James' house like I usually do. But my family's reputation would make Remus say no for sure, no matter how much he likes me.

Just then Remus entered the room. "Penny for your thoughts my friend?" he asked smiling. Sirius was sitting on his bed thinking awfully hard about something.

"Huh? Oh hi Moony, I didn't notice you come in" replied Sirius looking up at him and returning the smile.

"Obviously, you looked like you were thinking pretty hard about something. I didn't want you to hurt yourself from brain overload that is, if you have one." laughed Remus.

"Ha ha, you think you're so funny don't you?" replied Sirius starting to laugh too despite the seriousness of his thoughts. Somehow no matter how down I am, he lifts my spirits just like that.

"You ok Sirius?" asked Remus looking at his friend quite concerned.

"I'm fine; really, I'm just trying to sort some things out. And trying to decide what to do about something" Sirius replied.

"Can I help in any way?" asked Remus rather interested in the severity of Sirius's mood. Sirius never pondered on something this hard unless it was really serious. (Pun intended)

"I doubt it" replied Sirius looking at his friend hopelessly.

"C'mon, I really want to help" pleaded Remus.

"Ok, see I have this friend, who has feelings for one of his really close friends. He knows that his friend is gay, but he's afraid to ask him out. See my friend's family has a really bad reputation, and he's afraid that will affect his friend's decision. So he just keeps quiet, and pretends he doesn't have feelings for him, but it's secretly torturing him." Sirius said trying to fight back the tears.

Remus gave him a long look then said "Sirius? Does this friend of yours happen to be you, and the friend he's in love with happen to be me?"

Sirius gave Remus an astonished look "How… how did you know that?"

Remus smiled "Sirius I pay more attention than you think. I can see what you're doing, and it kills me to see you torturing yourself. As for me not wanting you because of what your family might think, the thought of it being forbidden in their eyes just makes me want you more. Besides just because your family is the way they are doesn't mean you are."

Sirius looked at Remus astonished "You mean you'll be with me despite my family's reputation?"

Remus smiled at him again "No matter what, and I don't care what anybody says or does"

Sirius smiled and grabbed Remus into a hug and squeezed him tightly. "Thank you Remus, I love you."

"You're welcome, and I love you too" Remus replied and held Sirius closer running his hands through Sirius' hair.

Just then James walked in "About time!" he said looking at Remus and Sirius cuddling on the bed. Sirius and Remus just looked at each other and laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Remus giving James a puzzled look.

"Do you realize how long I've been listening to the two of you and your longing for one another! But neither one would ask the other one out, because they were scared to? You've been driving me crazy lately. Especially you Sirius!" James replied. The other two once again looked at each other and laughed.

Little did they know Regulus was indeed watching and he quickly ran to owl their father that Sirius was gay, his lover was a Gryffindor, and a werewolf. "Father won't stand for this for one minute" he said quietly as he wrote the letter and sent it off to his father.

That night Sirius and Remus shared a bed instead of sleeping across the room from one another. "Good night Remmy." said Sirius kissing Remus and cuddling next to him.

"Good night to you, Pads." replied Remus cuddling back "I love you Sirius."

"Love you too Remus." replied Sirius sleepily as he kissed him again then they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning Sirius came down to breakfast laughing. "What's so funny Sirius?" asked Remus. Sirius laid a piece of parchment in front of Remus and Remus read:

Dear Sirius,

I have been informed of your atrocity with this filthy Werewolf boy.

I suggest you get rid of him or I will in any way I can. If you don't

You will be PAINFULLY sorry when you come home for the summer.

You have been forewarned, you bring any punishment I feel fit upon

Yourself, should you ignore my warning.

Leareth Black

"I'm so very sacred!" laughed Sirius "I think I'll write him back. I don't care if he thinks being with you is an atrocity or not, I love you and there's nothing anyone can do about it." said Sirius then he took Remus into his arms in front of everyone in the Great Hall and passionately kissed him.

Remus looked at Sirius and blushed. "I love you too Sirius, he can say I'm filthy, but I at least take a shower every morning and that's more than the Slytherins can say about themselves." Everyone in the Great Hall laughed except for the Slytherins of course. "Where are you going Sirius?" asked Remus.

"To write Leareth back." replied Sirius as he walked out of the Great Hall. When he got to his room he got out a sheet of parchment and quill and wrote:

Dear Leareth,

You can think Remus is filthy you can call our relationship an atrocity and you can

threaten me all you want, but you can't change the way we feel about one another,

and you can't do anything about it. So give up because I'm Not going to break up with him just

because you want me to. Besides the fact that you do want me, to break up with him

Just makes me want him even more. So get over it.

Sirius Black

"Um Sirius, isn't that going to piss him off?" asked Remus a bit of concern in his voice.

"Do I care if it does? I'm not scared of him anymore, I'm telling him straight up the way it's going to be." said Sirius. "I love you, and he's not going to change that. No matter what he tries to do." Sirius said as he took Remus into his arms and held him.

Remus looked at Sirius with love in his eyes. "You amaze me sometimes, Sirius." he said after a moment of searching Sirius's eyes for someway to put his thoughts into words.

"What do you mean Remus?" asked Sirius looking at his lover puzzled.

"Because you're willing to risk everything just to be with me. I've never had someone that cared that deeply for me. Most of my other lovers were only with me for the sex. When I didn't want it, they would get all pissed off and dump me." Replied Remus hugging Sirius. "I love you more than you could never know.

"Obviously your other lovers were blind to what you could really be. It sounds like to me they looked at you as an object just because you're a werewolf." Sirius replied with sympathy. "I really feel sorry for you at times Remus."

"Why's that Sirius. There's nothing you should feel sorry for me about." Replied Remus looking at Sirius puzzled.

"Because, you're such an amazing person. You're sweet, you're polite, and you're kind to people even when they treat you the way they do. Only hardly anybody sees that because they're to busy worrying about the fact that you're a werewolf." Replied Sirius holding Remus closer to him.

"The only thing that matters to me is that my friends around me see that there's more to me than the wolf. I really don't care what the others think and you shouldn't either love, it will only make you angry." Replied Remus kissing the other boy on the cheek.

"You're right I shouldn't worry about what they think. Anyways, what do you say about taking a walk before classes start?" Sirius asked as he pulled his lover to his feet.

"I think that's a wonderful idea. Shall we be off then Mr. Padfoot?" Remus answered with a smile taking Sirius's hand in his and leading him out of the dormitory.

"Indeed we shall, Mr. Moony." Replied Sirius allowing Remus to lead him out of the Common Room, through the portrait hole, and outside the castle.

They went outside and started to walk around the grounds hand in hand not caring about what people thought of their relationship. A pretty girl with red hair and beautiful emerald green eyes walked up to them.

"So who asked whom?" she asked the boys seeing that they were holding hands.

"Actually Lily, I sort of told him I would be with him, neither of us really asked the other." replied Remus laughing and squeezing Sirius' hand tighter.

"I was wondering how long it would take before one of you took the leap." replied Lily giggling. "I think you two are adorable together and you'll stay together the rest of your lives."

"You mean I'm going to have to put up with him forever?" asked Sirius playfully. "I'm kidding!" he said seeing Remus playfully pouting.

"I know sweetie" replied Remus hugging Sirius tightly.

Lily just laughed "You better get back to the castle classes start soon." she said checking her watch. "I'll walk back with you. Ok?" The boys nodded agreement and the three of them started walking back to the castle but someone was waiting for them to walk by.