A/N: Whooo! First Prussia fic! So, this is a song-fic...kind of. Every scene is based off a lyric of "I'm Awesome" byt the Spose Brothers. Go ahead, look up the lyrics. You'll find them in here. But, I'm kind of twisting the scenes and stuff to make it fit and stuff, so updates may be spread apart.
Now, before I begin: WARNINGS! There's mentions of drugs in here. Crack to be exact. And vital regions. Other than it, it's pretty clean. For this chapter anyway.
Yes, chapters. This is the everyday life of Prussia. Hope you like it!
I do not own Hetalia! I do not own the song, "I'm Awesome", or any other mentions of copy-written things I've mentioned in here.
Prussia slid the black shirt over his head and ran a hand through his snow-white hair. He glanced at himself in his full-length mirror hanging from the wall. He smirked, red eyes flashing.
He placed his hands on either side of the mirror.
"You are awesome", he chanted. "No one ever hope to overcome your unbelievably high level of awesomeness, you gorgeous king of Awesome." He laughed. "I'm awesome!"
"No, you are not, if you continue to do that every morning," Germany said, holding out a large manila envelope. "Stop wasting time and get this to Austria, like you said you would yesterday, and I will not tolerate you staying another night in my room and, no, I will not clean yours up to make that possible. I also found your bird in a bowl of beer this morning, if you are looking for him."
Prussia ruffled his younger brother's perfectly jelled hair with a chuckle. Germany's scowl deepened.
"Man, Gilbird really knows how to party, right?" He snatched the envelope up. "Don't worry, West, I got this."
Germany grunted and started picking up his room, trashed by Prussia's sudden claim of territory, and watched his brother's exit.
Hungary stood by the garage door, one hand on her hip, the other outstretched, palm open towards Prussia as he walked into Austria's house.
"Hey, babe", Prussia said, a smirk on his lips. Gilbird trilled his own greeting. Hungary's fingers twitched and her frown tightened, but she didn't respond. "Oh yeah! The keys!" He fished in his pocket for the ring of car keys and dumped them in her hand.
Hungary's posture relaxed and she counted the number of keys on the chain. "I'm surprised you haven't crashed yet", she muttered.
"Me? Crash? Kesesese, I'm too awesome to do something as stupid as that. Now where's the killjoy? Germany gave me something for him."
"If you're so awesome, stop asking to use my car. Mr. Austria's waiting in the piano room."
"What does he do, sleep in there?" But Hungary has already left the room.
Austria's eyes ran back and forth as they scanned the papers, the print reflected in miniscule on the glass of his spectacles.
"Ah, this is the edition of the new piece I plan on publishing", Austria thought aloud, shuffling the papers before sliding them back into the manila folder. He placed it on top of the piano. "You may go now."
"Why the hell did West have something like piano music," Prussia asked, not rising from his seat in front of Austria.
"Because I asked him to review it and make any edits."
"And he actually did?" Prussia laughed.
Austria glared at the albino from over the rim of his glasses. "Germany has quite a nice taste in music and he does create many pieces of music, if you didn't happen to know."
"Wow, West has a hobby. A sucky, girly hobby. He really needs to get laid."
"Yes, well, don't you have someone else to intrude upon?"
"I can 'intrude upon' on anyone I want to, but you're my favorite!"
"So that explains why you're always here", Austria said sullenly.
"Don't be so down about it! You should feel honored to have someone as awesome as me in your presence!"
"Yes, you keep telling yourself that."
"Kesesese, I don't need to tell myself, I have my friends for that!"
"Do you mean the ones you met online playing Call of Duty online?"
Prussia stood up, his hand curling into a fist.
Prussia stalked out of the room, a scowl on his mouth and a red mark blooming on his cheek, where Austria had slapped him after he'd tried to punch the musician.
He turned down the hall, looking for Hungary to get another ride home, when Gilbird circled his head frantically in a flurry of cheeps and golden feathers.
"Hey, bro, what's up?" The Prussian reached up to grasp the yellow fluff ball but the bird squawked and darted around the hand. "Gilbird, calm down, will you?" The bird bobbed back the way he had come before zipping back and fluttering to rest on Prussia's head. It ruffled its tiny wings anxiously.
Prussia slipped down the hall, where the bird had come in from, and peered into the adjoining room. He could hear Hungary's voice. He shuddered at the anger on it and, atop his head, Gilbird tweeted nervously.
"This is sexual harassment", Hungary said. Prussia assumed she was on the phone from the lack of a response. "I can sure punch your lights out like a man. Maybe then we'll see who's the girl." Another pause. "And I could just as easily rip off your balls and tape them to me. I'd still be more of a man than you'd ever be, Romania!"
Prussia turned tail and ran. The conversation could get ugly, or in this case uglier, if she was talking to the creep Romanian. And he definitely didn't want to get caught in the middle of that fight. Even though he'd win, because Awesome never lost. Awesome also knew when to run from a brawl.
"Everyone's so boring", Prussia groaned as he checked his phone after his walk home. There were no text messages, no missed calls, no voicemails, not even a ring from France and Spain.
He flopped onto the couch and was about to toss the cell phone carelessly onto the pillow next to him when it started ringing. Excitedly, he picked it up and answered.
"Yo, you're calling the embodiment of awesomeness!"
"Prussia!" he heard Italy shout happily in his singsong voice. Prussia smiled. Italy could be so cute at times. "Is Germany there? Or called? Or have you seen him? I tried calling him, but he didn't answer and Japan didn't know either so I thought maybe I'd ask you", he babbled.
"Italy, breath. No, I haven't seen Germany. Well, I saw him this morning before I left, but he's not home. Why you looking for him? I thought you were practically glued to him."
"Well, America started talking about some house in the South of the country exploding and said something about finding a bunch of bags of snow called eight balls. Then, big brother France suggested America to bring one and we could have a party! England punched him after, but I wanted to ask Germany to come to the party!"
Prussia sniggered and tried his hardest to swallow his laughter. "I-Italy, I don' think Germany w-would like to go to that party", he said, tripping over the words in his attempt to keep his chuckles down. "With France there and all", he quickly added. "Don't go by yourself near that guy either, not after last time. Just don't go to that party at all, alright?"
"Okay…I'll try Germany again, so in case he heard about the party, he'll know that I won't be going!"
"Alright, see ya, Veneziano." Prussia hung up and burst out laughing until his chest heaved with the effort of trying to take a breath in, and his stomach cramped. He shook his head. "America's in dept, and yet I can take all of West's money and I still won't have enough money to afford eight balls."
The sun was setting, another day almost over. Prussia sat in a corner of his room, the door locked so his brother couldn't sneak up on him and opened up a new page in yet another diary book. He clicked his pen and started writing.
Dear Awesome Diary, he started.
I've had yet another awesome day! And I've learned a bunch of new awesome things today. I learned West doesn't have a life, and he really, really, really, needs to get laid. (Italy practically begs, but he has too many Kartoffles in his head to see it.). He writes totally un-awesome symphonies. With Austria! I thought he could barely stand little Veneziano. I also learned that if Hungary cuts off Romania's wurst and tapes it to her vital regions, she'd still be more manly than creepy Romania. Kesese. I also learned I really, really need to teach Italy what drugs are.
With love, the Awesome Prussia: King of Awesomeness